68. Lily

68

Lily

It took me several hours , two hitched rides, and God knows how many miles walking in the pouring rain to reach the border. By this point, I was so wet that there was no sense in trying to keep dry. I just trudged down the street with the rain soaking me to the bone, wondering if I’d ever feel warm again. The rain was really pounding, now, hitting the sidewalk and bouncing straight back up again to hit my legs. It was so heavy that it was difficult to see.

I knew that the best thing to do would be to get into Mexico and keep right on going, to put as much distance between myself and Gold Lake as I could. But the sun was coming up and I was so dog tired, I wasn’t going to make it further than the first hotel on the Mexican side.

“I don’t even care if it has roaches,” I said to myself. “I just want a roof.” I’d gotten so used to the drumming of cold rain on my scalp that it was difficult to remember life without it .

At this time in the morning, there was only a short line of cars waiting to cross into Mexico and the foot traffic entrance was completely clear. I could walk straight up to the border guards, show one of my fake passports and I’d be—

“Buenos fucking Dias,” said a voice as low as thunder.

I spun around, squinting through the rain. Bull was leaning against a wall, as wet as I was. The water was spilling down off the rim of his hat in a thousand little waterfalls. His shirt was plastered to his skin.

He looked amazing. He looked so good, so welcome, that my chest ached. But I shook my head and backed towards the border.

He took a threatening step towards me. “Don’t make me chase you, Lily,” he growled. “You know what happens when I catch you.”

I took one quick breath...and broke and ran, sprinting for the border post. Hot tears were prickling my eyes, mixing with the rain. If I could just get across, I could avoid all the pain. I could avoid saying goodbye. I could avoid—

A huge hand gripped the back of my blouse and lifted me a foot off the ground, then hauled me back. I gasped and kicked, spluttering against the rain. A second later, I was pushed up against the wall of an alley. The rain was lighter here, blocked by the alley’s narrow walls, and I could see properly again. I gasped and panted and looked up into Bull’s face.

“Now don’t you fucking move,” he told me.

I didn’t fucking move.

“I got a few things to say,” he growled.

I swallowed and nodded. I didn’t have much choice. I was sandwiched between his massive, hard body and the rough brick wall. I looked up into those clear blue eyes and saw that they were full of anger...and something else that made my heart skip beats.

I waited...but he stayed silent.

“Give me a damn minute,” he grunted. “I ain’t fucking rehearsed it.”

I nodded again.

“Okay,” he said. “ Look. I love you.”

The way he said it made me suck in a little gasp of freezing air. I’d never heard anyone be so certain of anything my entire life.

“You should have told me who you were. But now that I know, I want to be there with you.”

I shook my head. The tears were winding their way down my cheeks in silent, hot rivers. “I can’t let you do that.”

He slammed his hand into the wall beside my head. “Goddamn it, you selfish bitch! You don’t get to decide that!”

I blinked at him. Selfish? That’s what I’d been trying to avoid!

“You let me fall for you and then you decide for me I’m not allowed to be involved? I don’t fucking think so!”

I shook my head. “Bull, we’d have no life. Look at how I was, before you found me. Living in fear. Looking over my shoulder. Too scared to have friends in case my uncle catches up to me. We both could have died tonight! It’s no way to live. ”

He nodded. “You’re right,” he said. “That’s why you’ve got to take Calahan’s deal. Testify against that bastard.”

My heart sank. It was exactly what I’d known he’d say. “Bull, that would mean going into witness protection. I’d never see you again.”

“You would if I went in with you.”

It took me a few seconds to process what he’d said. When it finally clicked, I just stared at him in amazement.

He nodded.

It couldn’t be true; I had to check. “You’d come with me?” I asked. “Bull, they’d move us away. They’d change our names. You have friends here and family. You’d never see them again— ever. ”

He looked into my eyes and nodded again.

“I...can’t let you,” I whispered. In some ways, it would be even worse than letting him put himself in danger. It was totally—

I squeaked as he lifted me off the ground, his warm hands around my waist. He pinned me to the wall again with my feet kicking in the air. “Where do you get this idea,” he asked, “that you let me do anything?”

I stared down at him and slowly stopped kicking.

“I’m Bull,” he told me. “And I do what I want. And what I want is to be with you so either accept me or shoot me ‘cause I’m not going away.”

I gaped down at him...and then flung my arms around him. It felt as if my whole soul was glowing, lit up by a blinding white light in my heart. We twisted all the way around until his back was against the wall, our soaking bodies pressed hard together. My lips searched for his and then found them, kissing the rain off them, and then our tongues were dancing together.

I ran my hands over his cheeks, feeling the rasp of his wet stubble. I was panting in the scent of him, snuggling my crotch against his— God, I missed him so much! Our kisses became open-mouthed and desperate as we ate each other up.

“I don’t think I can walk anymore,” I gasped when we stopped for air.

“It’s okay. I have my car. Well, Calahan’s car.”

I put a hand on his chest, marveling at the valley of his pecs, the way my hand could nestle between them. “ Or,” I said, feeling like a shameless slut, “we could stop in at a hotel. Just while I get my energy back.”

He was panting too. His arms tightened around me. “A hotel?”

“Yep.”

“Just while you get your energy back?”

“Exactly that.”

I could feel his cock hardening against me through his jeans. “Good idea.”