6. Clem

Chapter 6

Clem

“ W ho are you? Do you want to be friends?”

Startled by the unfamiliar voice, I flinched away from it, seeking the comfort of my master’s arms, Sun’s warm embrace, or even Kiar’s sturdy tail. Yet, I felt none of them as my back hit something sturdy and freezing cold. But it didn’t feel like snow.

How strange, I thought, my eyes slowly adjusting to the blinding light above me.

It was like a halo, distant and radiant, and I was trapped at the bottom of a black abyss. How I ended up here when I fell asleep in Sun’s arms, sheltered in Bracken’s wings the night before, was a mystery.

“Are you hurt? Momo can kiss it better,” the disembodied voice whispered to me again, coming from every direction it seemed, followed by laughter that echoed, distorted, so high pitched that I couldn’t place it.

I gulped, realizing I was in a lucid dream. I had not dreamed often since my awakening, and the few dreams I did have were mere fragments, barely recognizable in the land of the living.

Yet sometimes, drifting in between life and death, I did have what humans called dreams. But this one felt different, sinister, despite the sweet innocence of the voice speaking to me.

I began backtracking, remembering we had traveled many nights since escaping Black Lantern across the forest uphill, forced to stay on foot or fly below the treeline to avoid detection from flying noc patrollers who could send word to the enemy faster than we could stop them.

Stronger together, the last time I closed my eyes, all had been well.

Last night had been no different than the previous few, as we all snuggled together to keep warm from the biting cold. Even Kiar had taken to resting with us, especially now that he no longer blamed me for monopolizing Sun’s affection.

Since settling their quarrel, we had all been at peace.

So, how did I end up here? Why was I dreaming, yet so disturbed? And most importantly, who was speaking to me?

“Huh?” I asked in wonder as a bright white cloth ball rolled from the darkness and stopped near my feet.

I knelt to grip the ball, but it passed through my hands. Or, more accurately, my hands dissolved into smoke before I could feel it, leaving me grasping air.

I gasped.

“It hurts? Then I’ll fetch Father. He’ll be able to heal you. He’s a doctor!” the voice continued its one-sided conversation.

Hesitantly, confused about why I dreamed of something so strange and foreign, I stared at the tiny human face that finally emerged from the wall of shadows.

It was a child, a small human, and instantly, I covered my mouth in shock because it resembled my mate so much, I couldn’t deny it was him.

Happier eyes, gentle, accepting, and so small and delicate. He was nothing like him, and yet I knew without a shadow of a doubt it was–

“Sun? Why are you here?”

He cocked his head to the side, grinning, front teeth missing. It horrified me, and I wondered who had knocked them out. But he didn’t seem to be in pain. Far from it, he looked happy, playing with me.

“How do you know my name? Did Kai tell you?”

“Who is Kai?” I asked, as the miniature Sun beamed up at me, his smile a little too wide, his eyes suddenly vacant, the corner of his mouth twitching.

Then, a mighty gust of wind knocked the ball back to his feet. He unfroze and chuckled, the airy sound filling the darkness.

He kicked it, balancing the ball on the tip of his toes before knocking it back to my ghostly feet.

The miniature Sun laughed, cheerful again, and I couldn’t help but do the same, in awe of him. His white robes looked too large on him like Sun’s clothing did in the land of the living.

“If you’re not hurt, then get up. I’ll take you back with me to the village. If you can play, the wound must not hurt so bad. We aren’t allowed to stay outside after dark, so come with me.”

What wound? I thought, as little Sun crossed his arms, the ball now tucked against his chest, tapping his slender foot impatiently. And why does he sound so old and young all at once? Who is he talking to?

I smiled and began to speak when another voice emerged from my mouth, deeper and jagged, like that of a much larger noc.

“C-c-come closer… my child. Play with me a little longer,” it said, trying to lure Sun away from the safety of the light.

He frowned, but crept closer, ball at arm’s length.

“I’ll play with you back in the village. It’s not safe out here at night. Those things, those creatures will eat you, you know? They like the taste of naughty children the most. That’s what Momo told me.”

Panic set my blood on fire, as the crunching and clattering of many legs resonated in my ears, the air shuttering as something crawled through me to get to him.

Run! Run, I screamed without a voice, robbed of anything but my ability to see this memory.

For that was what this was, a memory like the times Sun dreamed of his horse Haru, or the Naga Nest he decimated years before being imprisoned. It hit me at all at once, that I’d seen this scene before, clinging to Sun in the cell, but only fragments that now became crystal clear.

Sun froze, all the color drained from his expression. He looked up, and up, and up, and up and up and up until he fell on the ground, covering his mouth, shaking from head to toe.

“What… are you?”

His eyes widened in terror as bloody rays of moonlight clawed against the Earth, melting and morphing before transforming into a beast. The shadow of a large centipede noc, a crawler , descended on him.

It was like my first awakening, but worse. At least I’d had wings to carry me away from the war, and a body, if not strong, bigger than this tiny child to defend myself with. No one was here to save Sun, and I was useless to do anything but watch.

“Ahhh!” a scream tore through the eternal night, and I opened my eyes.

Why had I shut them like a coward?!

I couldn’t answer my question, screaming as the crawler’s human hands appeared in front of my face, her neck slit, body convulsing, before she fell to the ground in a heap. I shuddered, a blade piercing my stomach, glistening with blood that wasn’t my own.

I pushed past the loathsome creature’s corpse, fading into mist before I reformed around her. I was greeted by wailing as Sun clutched the bloody black robes of a taller human who still looked like a child, his chest ripped asunder, cradling the mirage of my mate. Maybe he had shielded him as the unseen warrior behind me killed the crawler just before it had a chance to kill both of them.

“Kai! Kai!” Sun wailed until his voice was hoarse. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

I dropped to my knees, unable to bear the misery, attempting to wake up. But I found no refuge, smoke and fire lighting the world up as that vision burned away, replaced by a new scene.

“Die!” a deeper voice from a familiar face shouted.

I looked up, a fountain of blood covering my body, surprised to see yet another version of Sun that I didn’t recognize above me.

This version of Sun was more how I knew him, but his hair was jet-black, without streaks of white, smaller and thinner than the man I knew, eyes wide and wild as he panted. His feet were lodged into cracks in the wall, one arm clutching the hilt of a broken sword piercing the pit just below the entrance. Sun was covered in fresh scars that had faded over time, by the time I met him. And, in his hand he held the severed head of a naga.

I knew it couldn’t be Kiar, yet his face resembled his, then it didn’t, shifting over and over again between friend and stranger until I was dizzy with terror.

A symphony of hissing erupted as many hands, arms, heads and tails surged forward piercing my ghostly body.

“Yes, come at me and hasten your deaths, bastards,” Sun gloated.

Then he sneered, tossing the head aside, ripping the blade from the wall, as he fell to meet his enemies head on.

I covered my face, falling backward, tumbling through a web of nightmares until finally my body was flung from the sea of memories to the frozen ground of somewhere that felt too real. This time, I had a feeling I would know the Sun who greeted me as I opened my eyes and lifted my head to the voice calling me.

“Give it to me, Clem!” his voice, the one I had first heard shouting orders as his men besieged Yewan, finally called my name.

But it was more rugged, filled with unchecked rage as my mate commanded me to open my eyes again. Why did they keep closing when all I wanted to do was wake up!

What I saw made my blood run cold, and despite wanting to hold him, I crawled away in fear. Upon a hill of bones and a mountain of shadowy corpses stood Sun. One of his arms was severed, held in the jaws of a large noc made of shadows with many legs and hands…

“Master Bracken!?” I shouted as Sun slashed at Master’s swooping claws, rolling away just in time to dodge the blow.

Bracken screeched, the war cry amplified by his pain, blinded, bleeding from empty eye sockets as he spiraled into the darkened night robbed of his vision and a large part of his wings.

“Give me the stone!” Sun roared, whipping around, using his remaining hand to drive Blood Onyx shaped like a dagger through Kiar’s throat, who lunged at him with bared fangs and claws.

I looked down, confused, yet sure enough, in my hands was a strange orb of light. A face shifted on the cool, luminescent surface of the glowing stone that resembled a mirror. A woman’s face, blindfolded and tearful with blackened teeth, cried out for me.

“Reconcile! It is the only way to free me, my emissary.”

I didn’t understand and had no time to ask. It was no sooner than her face disappeared that a shadow wielding a blade replaced her. Sun was bearing down on me, ready to end my life with a lifetime of hatred channeled through his sword, directed at my heart?—

“Clem! Wake up.”

“Haaah!” I screamed, clutching my neck with two hands as I jolted awake.

Bracken and Kiar flanked me while Sun hovered in front of me. I grasped in the silence for a split second before Sun snatched me into his embrace. It was dark, too dark to be in the mountains, and I wondered if this was yet another inescapable nightmare.

I fought, unable to decipher reality from his memories and visions of an impossible future until finally, as he patted my back and I knew this was my Sun, not the famed Noc Slayer of Naran.

“Shh. It’s alright. It was just a dream. Damn it. I should have killed it before it got a chance to lunge at you like that or we wouldn’t have ended up in this pit.”

I shuddered, knowing in my heart that what I just saw wasn’t a dream. No, it was a memory and a premonition of a future in which our tether was dissolved, because why else would Sun turn his blade on us which was tantamount to suicide?

Unless…

I pushed him away, shocked to see we were inside a pit of sorts through a halo of moonlight far above our heads rapidly fading, as dark storm clouds eclipsed its rays.

This pit resembled the old traps humans constructed to capture tigers on a hunt, before we took control of their land. It was a miracle I hadn’t broken my legs if I fell down here while unconscious.

Claw marks riddled the dirt walls, and it was only then that I saw the severed head of a large Panthera with a distorted smile, its coloring resembling that of a tiger, body covered in orange fur with white stripes.

Bracken flicked his hands, blood splattering my legs as he grumbled, “I said watch your damn step. Such an unruly pet. Charging ahead like that, all emotional, and look at the mess we’ve created.”

“I had no choice! How was I to know it was leading me into a trap?” Sun demanded. “The storm separated us, and I had to save Clem. You saw him, ranting and raving, barely escaping its claws. Now get Kiar out of here. Can’t you see he’s hurt?”

“Huh?” I asked, barely keeping up with that fact that I must have caused this chaos, catching the glossy eyes of the slain predator once more. Kiar rose, the panthera’s dead body tangled in his tail.

He surged toward me flexing his arm, and I gasped, seeing that he had three deep scars dripping blood, with some matching wounds on his tail. He frowned down at me, panting, hair disheveled. It was like my reimagined fights had become part of real life… But it had been real. I knew what I had seen.

I had dreamed not of Sun but as Sun.

“Wh–what happened?” I stammered.

“You were dreaming of something,” Sun told me. “First, you started shouting. Then, you stood and ran.”

“The noise drew out a panthera who attacked you swiftly,” Kiar said. “But luckily, we were close behind, to save you.”

I shook my head.

“No… you were hurt. For me.”

“It’s alright. I’m alright. Besides, Sun is right. It’s our fault for not accepting Clem had been strange last night and tonight. Muttering and moaning in his sleep. We should’ve taken it more seriously before he dashed off like a lunatic.”

The tip of Kiar’s tail flicked in the air before settling on my head, patting it thrice too roughly as he murmured, “Give us a moment. This pit is deeper than a naga’s nest… We’ll scout on the ground and come back for you two shortly. Heal me then, Clem, and we’ll find safer, higher ground to retreat to.”

He was comforting me, but it made me flinch, remembering the version of Sun who wanted me dead in a similar pit.

Still, I nodded, and my mates and friend looked at each other with matching worried expressions. Reaching down to rub our heads, Bracken tried to soothe me now.

“You’re right. I’m letting my emotions get the better of me,” he told Kiar. “It’s on us to protect them, not the other way around. Still, Sun, mind Clem for a little while. We will be back. And this time we won’t be late to your defense.”

With that, Bracken took off with Kiar wrapped in his arms. And for a moment, total darkness eclipsed the moonlight as he spread his wings to lift them to salvation.

Left alone in the pitch blackness, I clung to Sun like my life depended on it. Because it did, and because of my spell he needed me too.

But now I sensed something was wrong, something was off. I gasped, seeing a trail of light emerging from his chest, connected to a similar light piercing my heart, winding around our bodies, shooting into the sky.

I had seen it only once, when his soul cried out to me on the battlefield as I shed my dying breath, a physical manifestation of the tether, our spirits and destinies bound as one. And it was beautiful and broken, the thick rope-like glittering substance slowly unraveling into four distinct tendrils.

Sun pulled me off of him then, holding me far enough to gaze into my eyes.

“Did you remember your mother?” Sun asked me as finally a shard of moonlight pierced the pit, splitting his face between that of a serene smile and a hidden part, one that seemed enraged.

And that part of his face looked different too, blackness flooding his iris and his suddenly green pupils flickered flaming red for a moment.

“My m-mother?” I wondered why, once again, Sun was asking such strange questions at the worst time possible.

I pushed away from him, shivering, volts of magnetic energy swirling in my gut. This slain noc was the largest to be killed since we left the prison, and I felt the difference in energy flowing through my veins. That and endless nights of on and off mating should have made us stronger, together.

And yet, instead of strengthening our bond, it was fraying. Sun stood, smiling at me as part of his soul split off again, lifting, shooting into the forest in the opposite direction of Bracken and Kiar, as I reached to reconnect it. I caught it and stitched it back to him at the very last moment, as my heart thudded with fear.

Sun’s hand stopped me from fidgeting, rubbing my bruised cheek with his knuckles, crushing my fist in his, all our fate lines thinning once more.

“You cried out in your dream, before your screams alerted that noc and the battle begun. In your nightmare you begged her to return… To reconcile.”

Sun’s face softened, eyes misty and distant, as if he too were gazing through the veil of his memories.

“You begged for your Momo,” Sun said, his eyes shifting, gaze colder than the flecks of snow raining down into the pit, shimmering like diamonds.

“Huh?” Sweating, uninterested in anything other than re-establishing our bond.

I wouldn’t let Sun break it! He couldn’t leave us! I wouldn’t let him leave me!

But it was no use; none of my fevered incantations drew our fate lines back together. I crumbled to my knees, sobbing, confused and angry as I still clung to him. Sun snatched my face into his palms and forced me to stare at him, face neutral now, unreadable.

“You see, when I was little, I didn’t know how to pronounce the name of a powerful demoness, one connected to the moon goddess herself,” Sun whispered as something scratched at the edge of my consciousness.

“My mother would put on puppet shows with the character, and so I began associating Momo with Mother. Many mothers in my village, and I’m sure elsewhere, were called the same, as our parents placed a warning in a fairy tale for us kids.”

His face hardened, nails digging into my chin, “...But then I remembered what you told me, Clem. Nocs don’t have families, not like ours anyway. So why would you cry for her now in that name? Why cry for your mother, while leading us into a trap?”

Why was Sun angry with me? I couldn’t understand anything anymore, and I shook from head to toe, desperate to please him, wanting his smile and not that venom radiating from his sneering expression. How could I make it right? I had to or he would leave us!

“We worshiped her, and she betrayed us. But not you, right? Tsukimono-jia, the queen of the demons, who could possess mortal bodies and usher in prophecies. That’s what we began calling Tsuki, the goddess of the moon, when her nocs started possessing these lands and feasting on our bodies. Did she come to you, Clem? Your Momo? Now is not the time to lie to me again!”

“No… No!” I said, as it finally clicked.

Sun finally led me into a fatal trap with his words, by turning my word against me.

Was that who I saw in the stone crying for me? I didn’t know and didn’t give a damn! She was unimportant. The only one who mattered was him. I had to get Sun to realize that.

“No, Sun, no please understand. I was dreaming of you! I don’t… I just wanted to wake up and get back to you, to feel you in my arms again. I don’t know why you’re mad but I’m sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up to you!”

Gritting my teeth, I shut my eyes like the coward I was, sobbing, “…I love you Sun. More than the moon and stars and life itself. I love you. Don’t leave me. Don’t vanish and become a dream. I’d rather live a nightmare beside you than be apart from you again.”

Silence. My heartfelt pleas for mercy were met with silence. I sniffled, looking up, lips trembling, hopeful as Sun glowed bright pink and then a deep shade of red I hadn’t seen.

“I– Clem! I’m scolding you, damn it! Do you know no shame? This is not the time… For a… Confession. Gods above I just want the truth and he’s rambling like some lunatic again.”

He covered his face, and I reached for him, but we were both seized before our hands connected. We floated, weightless, until master dropped us gently onto the ground by the pit.

I crawled on hands and knees to Sun’s feet, begging for forgiveness, but he wouldn’t look at me, stepping away.

“What’s this misfortunate mood? Rejoice, we’re not dead. Not yet anyway,” Bracken tried to joke, as Kiar lifted an eyebrow.

Damn it! Didn’t they get it? Didn’t they feel the gravity of this predicament? The spell was wearing off by itself. We had to convince Sun to stay with us!

I grabbed his legs, closing the gap between us, refusing to allow Sun to run away by force. But that only seemed to set Sun off more, stormy eyes shifting to the trees, cheeks inflamed, an invisible source pulling him away.

He wanted to run, blushing to the tips of his ears now. But he was no longer pretty in pink, sucking on his teeth, pushing me away, madness in his eyes, a wicked energy permeating the air.

Turn your gaze to me! Look at me! Love me! Don’t run away!

His lips were moving, probably to ask that stupid question again. No! No, no, no, damn it, I couldn’t, and even if I could, I wouldn’t –

“What did you just say?”

He smacked my hands away, livid. I cleared my throat and spoke more clearly so no one could deny the truth of my words anymore—least of all me. Sun wanted the truth, and I would give it to him.

“I dreamed only of you, with no ulterior motive. I saw you, but you were small , seeing a noc for the first time. A crawler–”

He shuddered and took another step back.

“You saw me as a child?” he asked.

Was that what a child was?

“Yes!” I said, “and more. And I am sorry, I don’t know what any of it means. I don’t know how to break the tether, Sun. I lied. I don’t believe we can part from one another. It’s dangerous, I can feel it, this force pulling you away from us. Let us reconcile now. Don’t go! Don’t go near the darkness…”

More silence. More maddening silence! Kiar pulled me until I had to stand, baffled as Bracken clutched my other set of hands. They were keeping me too far away as Sun backed up, all of our fate lines unraveling from one another.

No no no no no! The sight was driving me mad.

“…Don’t think just because we’re tethered that I won’t kill you if you follow me!” Sun threatened, his voice hard.

“Don’t do it Sun! You can’t run from us! You can’t hide from us,” I lied because the tether was breaking, stretched to its limits and when it snapped, we would all die, for good this time. “We need each other!”

This malignant force, I knew what it was now, a strange buzzing and burning overcoming me, eating away at my soul.

“Watch me!” Sun shouted and disappeared.

Stunned, I watched him go, held steady by both Bracken and Kiar. I fought against their hands, but they didn’t release me until I sagged in defeat.

“What the hell was that?” Kiar demanded.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “All of this on my shoulders is too much. I need… I need you all to follow me. To do as I say. To support me…”

I swallowed and Kiar’s hand rested on my shoulder, squeezing.

“Sun just needs time. He is angry and confused. Let him go for a few minutes to clear his mind.”

I shook my head.

“It is too dangerous out there.”

Had I not been nearly killed just minutes before?

And now, a bigger threat lurked in the darkness of the night.

I could no longer feel Hadi’s presence hovering around me.

He was out there somewhere.

And he did not want to be a part of our team. He was the one tearing it apart…

Just as I thought it, a pillar of moonlight fell from the sky, and I absorbed it before exploding with light. Immediately, I knew what it meant and leaped into the air.

Bracken snatched me by the waist, covering his eyes, hissing at my blinding light.

“What the hell is happening?” he demanded. “Don’t you dare fly away! Have you all lost your damn minds running around in this forest unguarded? You’ll get yourself killed!”

But for once, I wasn’t worried about getting killed or obeying my master. All I could think about was Sun. I was consumed with the knowledge that I had to prevent him from meeting the source of the fracturing of our entangled fates before it was too late.

“Clem? Clem!” Bracken shouted as I threw myself from his grip and burst into the air, avoiding Kiar as he tried to curl around my body and tackle me to the ground.

Behind me, I heard them shouting for me to wait, but I didn’t care.

Heart racing, I shot through the woods, desperate to reach Sun before Alhadya got to him first.