21. Sun

Chapter 21

Sun

I had watched my friends die. I had been captured and tortured. I had experienced more hardships in my life than any man should.

And somehow, this was the thing that brought me to tears.

The betrayal was too strong. The disappointment was too overwhelming.

All these years, I had sacrificed my life and the lives of my fellow soldiers on the orders of the man who had done this to us all. He had brought out the monsters and then made us fight them. I just... I couldn’t fathom it or make sense of it.

Clem’s arms caught me around the middle as despair took over.

“I’m sorry, Sun,” he whispered against my hair.

I shook my head, because what else could I do? I could not talk without sobbing harder. I could hardly see through the tears.

My body was weak and freezing cold. I would be lucky if this icy mountain didn’t lead to fevers and flus. I had put myself through this to continue the bidding of the man who was worse than any of the nocs at my side.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I forced myself to my feet and wiped angrily at the tears in my eyes.

“Bracken,” I said and even my voice sounded broken.

I was trembling with rage and sadness and cold as I marched to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Fly me down,” I ordered.

“But someone might see us,” he reminded me.

“I don’t care anymore.”

He nodded grimly, petting the top of my head before lifting me up and cradling me as though I was something breakable. In fact, I was. I was learning that now the hard way.

If I was needed to fight physical battles, there would be no problem, but pit me against an unspeakable betrayal and I crumpled like old, brittle paper.

“I can take you both with us,” Bracken said.

He gestured for Clem and Kiar to join him and my gaze flew to Hadi, who would be left behind.

“I can make my own way down,” he said curtly, and gods help me, there was something in his voice and eyes that made me think he was trying to reassure me.

Surprised, I nodded.

I must have looked like quite the sight if even Hadi wanted to comfort me.

But Hadi... there was something in him that I couldn’t quite identify. Something that made me think he was not nearly as hard as he acted on the outside. There was something about him that reminded me of myself. He knew only what he knew. Being king, being in control... losing it all to a betrayal... suddenly, I could relate.

Bracken took Clem in his other arm and waited for Kiar to wrap around his waist. His arms went around Bracken’s neck, and we all held on tightly as he hoisted us into the air.

I’d forgotten that the cold made it hard for him to fly until the sounds of his labored breathing grew louder.

He didn’t complain though. He never did.

And it was probably better for all of us to get down faster, I reasoned, so I did not tell him to stop. Instead, I shut my eyes against the rising sun and held on, feeling the cold air blasting against my skin as it slowly became warmer with our descent.

His heart beat hard against my arm, his breaths gasping before he finally dropped down into the shelter of the trees. His feet hit the ground with a thump, nearly throwing all of us before he righted himself and carefully set us down.

Kiar shook himself.

“I’d hoped to never fly again,” he admitted.

I couldn’t bring myself to smile at his attempt to lighten the mood.

My heart was broken.

“Are you okay?” Clem asked me.

This time, I at least tried to think of an appropriate answer.

“My entire life has been a lie.”

The tears came again as though there had been no break from them. Again, my nocs surrounded me, comforting me, kissing me.

I didn’t even think of pushing them away. I didn’t want to.

Kiar pulled me down and we ended up all tangled together. Their lips on me were soft, comforting and sweet enough that all the silver linings of this predicament stood out in stark relief.

Clem was over me like a shield, Kiar and Bracken on each side. Their hands were soothing but not seeking more than to make me feel better, basically petting me.

Somehow that was why it worked.

There were no mistakes in the universe and for the first time since this tether had come to be, I saw it for what it was; a gift. Tsuki’s intervention. She wanted us to right wrongs. She had hand-picked each of us to work together. A true goddess wanted us five to be one.

“I’m so glad she said no,” I whispered.

Kiar kissed my cheek and Clem nuzzled my neck while Bracken stroked my hair. It was almost silly how much I needed them right now.

“Have you accepted the tether now?” Clem asked.

I swallowed and nodded.

“We’re meant to be together,” I whispered. “Aren’t we?”

Clem shrugged and lifted enough to meet my gaze with his sweet, innocent face.

“Your soul was like a beacon,” he told me. “As we were all fading away, you were all I saw...”

My grip tightened on them, holding them close to me and my gaze traveled up, toward the top of the mountain that we were now near the base of.

“How long will it be before Hadi gets down here?” I asked.

“Not long,” Kiar said. “Without us to slow him down, I bet he will propel from the cliffs.”

“Good,” I said. “We need to be together.”

“Even Hadi?” Clem asked, like he couldn’t quite believe it.

“Yes,” I said firmly. “He’s part of this too.”

He was part of this. And part of me. The goddess had said so herself. It was time to accept that even if Hadi wasn’t ready to yet.

It felt strange now to be without him. I had become used to his presence, his quiet moping and haughty glares, even his snarky remarks when he made them.

The temperature was warmer here, but not enough to make it comfortable. At first it was lovely until my body adjusted and then we ended up huddled together again, as we often did when trying to keep warm.

Finally, the sound of shifting footsteps near us alerted me to Hadi’s arrival.

I extracted myself from the others, standing because I was eager to talk to him, to make him see reason whether he wanted to or not. We had to work together somehow–

But the being who emerged from the trees was not Hadi, or a noc at all. It was a human.

I recognised the black robes at once as the very soldiers’ uniform that was now barely a rag covering me and green ribbons of Naran’s flag.

“Captain Sun?” the soldier said, his eyes wide as they landed upon me. “We spotted some nocs descending the mountain and came to intercept them.”

Behind him, others emerged.

“What are you doing here?” one of them asked. “Last we heard you had been captured.”

“How did you escape, sir?”

I was frozen solid, my throat closed. I was unable to say a word or even make up an excuse because I knew any moment now–

The soldiers gasped and suddenly each of the small group drew their swords, their gazes behind me.

…any moment now they would see my entourage.

“Put those away,” I ordered automatically and somehow my voice was firm and strong as I easily fell into my previous position.

“But sir, behind you!”

I didn’t bother looking back but Bracken’s shadow fell over me as he approached and a moment later Clem and Kiar took my sides.

I saw the understanding on my fellow humans’ faces as they realized I stood with the nocs . Horror, disbelief, disgust. Everything I would have expected.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

Except it was exactly what it looked like.

I swallowed and took a step forward, they all stepped back.

Pausing, I stood and stared at them. There were four of them. They were low ranked fighters, or I would have known them personally. Realistically, I could kill them without even trying and no one would ever know what they had seen.

But I had never murdered in cold blood and never a human. I was not about to start now.

Just because I had become close to nocs did not mean that I needed to become like them.

Better yet, I could use these people.

“Everything we know has been a lie,” I said.

“What–”

“I have just descended from speaking with the goddess Tsuki herself,” I said, interrupting them.

Now I really had their attention.

Reaching into my pocket, I retrieved both stones and held them out. They glinted beautifully in the morning light and all four of the humans gasped.

“Tsuki and Taiyo have gifted me the stone to make things right,” I told them. “Emperor Gaulu has been deceiving us. He created the nocs in some sort of bid for power. He must be stopped.”

My passionate speech had the opposite effect from what I expected. One of the soldiers gripped the ones in front of him and pulled them back, just out of my reach.

I frowned.

“You, Batu Sun, the noc killer, want to defeat our own emperor?” he asked slowly and immediately I knew they did not trust me.

“Tsuki gave me the sunstone,” I argued. “How else would I have gotten it from the noc kingdom?”

Their gazes flickered past me, to Bracken, Kiar and Clem, and I knew there was no way they were ever going to believe me. Even so, I stepped toward them, desperate to make them understand.

“Please,” I said. “Listen–”

They stumbled back this time, faces suddenly twisting in horror and I followed their gazes to see that Alhadya, the former noc king himself, was lowering from the trees behind me.

My heart sank.

I did not even want to face the humans. How could I possibly explain?

I was never given the opportunity to find out, because as one, the group of them took off, running for their lives as though they would be chased.

My heart pounded as I took in their hasty escape. As though I was the villain.

“They didn’t believe me,” I said numbly. No one had ever questioned me before. How was I supposed to convince anyone that I was still on their side while I was attached to my nocs?

“Should I go after them?” Bracken asked. “It would only take me a minute to catch them...”

I shook my head.

“No. Hunting them– hurting them, proves them right. Tsuki tasked us with fixing this mess. I don’t know how, but the senseless killing has to stop. It is not what we are supposed to do.”

“What do you propose?” Kiar asked and I looked at him. The careful curiosity on his face stopped me because it was clear he already knew I hadn’t a clue.

I shook my head, at a loss, emotions hitting me hard again.

“I am out of my depth here,” I admitted. “Don’t look to me for answers. Everything I have ever believed has been turned on its head.”