Chapter 30

It'slate in the afternoon when there is a knock at my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, and Ben hasn't reached out, so I have no idea who it could possibly be. It's probably just a door-to-door salesman, but I make my way to open it, nonetheless.

I almost gasp when my eyes land on my sweet boy.

"Surprise," he says with a small smile. "Mind if I come in?"

I step to the side and wave him in. "Of course, sorry, I just wasn't expecting you."

"I guess I should have told you I was on my way, but it was kind of a spur-of-the-moment decision," he explains, slowly making his way to the living room. "I was talking with Coach, and he helped me figure out a lot of things."

"I'm glad. Did you want to talk to me about them?" I ask as we enter my living room.

I pull the coffee table closer to the couch and put a pillow on it for Ben to rest his leg on. He smiles as he takes a seat, and I sit beside him.

"Yeah, but first I want to say I'm sorry for bolting last night. When you told me you were taking a week off work, it was like there was no room for discussion, and it triggered me. All my life, I had no control over big decisions, and I was afraid that was happening again. I love you and like it when you help me make decisions, but I also refuse to give up all of my power to you. If you need a partner who's willing to do that, it's not me."

I shake my head, taking his hand in mine. "I don't need that. I didn't clue in until after you got upset that I sounded like such a dictator. I should have figured out sooner that would trigger you, but I was too caught up in my desire to take care of you."

He squeezes my hand and offers me a small smile. "Coach pointed out that might be the case. My fear of being abandoned also played a part in my reaction last night," he informs me. "I was afraid that by taking a week off work, you could possibly be jeopardizing your job, and if something happened, you'd end up resenting me over it once your love for me started to fade."

"Baby, my love for you will never fade. I'm not going anywhere. No matter what," I assure him.

"Coach was able to get me to see that too. He also made me realize that he's the father I always wanted. I want to ask him if I can call him Dad."

"I think he'd like that," I agree, wrapping my arms around him.

My sweet boy has gone through so much in his life, and I hate that my actions brought up such negative emotions for him last night. But I'm glad he was able to have a heart-to-heart with Calvin and finally know how loved he really is, not just by me but by his chosen family.

"I promise I'll talk to you about any big decisions going forward and never make them without your input again," I whisper into his hair.

He mumbles his thank you into my chest. I'm sure our position isn't the most comfortable for him, but I also don't want to let him go just yet. I was terrified last night that he might let this be our breaking point and try to push me away, but I'm thankful it didn't and that he had someone like Calvin to talk things over with.

Ben's stomach grumbles after a little while, and I pull back to stare into his eyes. "When did you eat last?"

A guilty expression crosses his face, and he bites his lower lip. "Um… do I have to answer that question?"

Under normal circumstances, I'd give him trouble for not eating, but I'm going to let it pass this time because he's been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours. "You don't have to answer it, but I am going to make you something to eat," I tell him, making my way to the kitchen.

Ben chuckles behind me, and seconds later, the hum of the television fills the space, bringing a smile to my face. I'm beyond happy to have my boy back in my house and for the stomach-turning anxiety to be gone. I'd still like to take next week off work, but I'll let Ben make that decision because it's not worth losing him over. I'll still find a way to take care of him whether I can be with him twenty-four seven or not.

Since I don't want to spend too much time away from Ben, I make a quick sandwich and then cut up some fruit and vegetables to go on the side. With the plate in hand, I head back to the living room and place it on Ben's lap.

"Eat up, sweet boy," I instruct. "It's even more important to take good care of yourself right now. Your body needs all the strength it can get to heal."

He beams at me and takes a bite of his carrot. "Yes, Daddy."

The word sends shivers of desire throughout my body, and I lean in to give him a kiss and nip at his lips. "Damn, I wish I could have you," I whisper against his lips.

"You could, but we just have to be creative," he replies, causing my cock to perk up even more at the idea.

I groan and shake my head. "There isn't any way that would put my mind at ease enough. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you more than you already are. We'll just have to be patient." Ben pouts, and I give him another quick peck before sitting back. "Besides, you still have to eat."

Ben huffs out an annoyed breath through his nose but begins to eat, and I settle in to watch the show with him.

"Would you be okay if I made a call to see if I can take Monday off?" I ask him once he's finished his food. "I'm aware you don't want me to take the entire week off, but I would like to be there for you on the day of your surgery."

Ben silently contemplates my offer, and my heart races a little with worry. Is he going to say no? When he eventually nods, I almost let out a sigh of relief.

"I'd be okay with that. Would you mind if I stayed at my apartment while I recover?" he requests. "Obviously, you want to take care of me, but with your work schedule, having my roommates around might make more sense. You can come over whenever you want and even spend the night if you'd like."

I love that he feels empowered enough to ask the question, so, of course, I agree. "I could make that work. And you're right. If I'm working, having your friends around in case you need help would be best. But also know that if there's an emergency, I want you to call me."

"I promise I will," he replies with a smile.

We should have had this conversation yesterday if I wasn't such an idiot, but I'm glad we're having it now. This is how relationships are supposed to be. Give and take and open communication at all times.