Chapter 28

The morning comes far too quickly,and my head aches from how horribly I slept. If I was lucky, I might have gotten three hours total, but none of it was restful. I tossed and turned all night. My thoughts drifted to how badly I messed things up, playing on repeat.

Even though it's only six in the morning, I get out of bed and make a pot of coffee since there is no chance I'll be able to sleep anymore, even if I wanted to.

Waiting for the coffee to brew, I keep thinking about what an idiot I was last night. I should have known telling Ben I was taking time off work instead of discussing it with him would trigger him. He likes it when I take control, but that was too big of a decision for me to make on my own. And it went against what I promised him when we first started our relationship. It probably reminded him of all the times people forced things on him when he grew up in the foster system. He wasn't able to make a decision on anything big, and here I am, doing the same thing. Letting me take over the tedious things that Ben doesn't like was easy, but this was a step too far, especially with no communication.

I just wanted to take care of him, and the nurse said the first week after surgery would be a challenge. I guess I just went into autopilot and figured the obvious choice would be to take time off work. Clearly, that was the wrong decision, but how do I fix it?

"How are you?" Katy asks while I'm staring into the coffee pot, and I jump a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I wave her off. "It's fine. I was just lost in thought and didn't hear you. What are you doing up this early anyway?"

"I've stopped being able to sleep in," she mumbles. "It's a curse, but thankfully, coffee cures it. Mind pouring me a cup?"

It's then I see the coffee is finished brewing. I was more caught up in my head than I figured.

I pour us both a cup, then join my sister at the kitchen table.

"Did you and Ben get into a fight last night?" she asks once we've both taken a couple of sips.

"Not really a fight, but I put my foot in my mouth, and Ben wanted the night to cool off," I explain.

"I figured something like that happened. Ben looked angry and confused when he walked by the living room until he noticed I was still there. He quickly concealed his real emotions, but it was obvious he didn't really miss his own bed."

I nod but don't reply. What else is there to say? Katy doesn't have magic to fix this mistake. It's up to me to figure this out on my own.

"Did you want to watch some TV or just be left alone to wallow in your mistakes?" Katy asks.

I chuckle and shrug. "TV sounds good," I respond.

We refill our mugs before heading to the living room to watch some stupid comedy rerun that takes my mind off Ben, at least for a little while.

I fell asleep on the couch halfway through the second episode, and I have no idea what time it is when my phone buzzes in my pocket, waking me. I sit up and swipe the screen open, smiling when Ben's name appears, but the small amount of happiness I had is quickly wiped away as I read the message.

Sweet Boy: I invited Katy over to hang out before she leaves, would you mind not coming with her? I want to talk, but we need to do that later and by ourselves.

"Did Ben text you?" Katy asks from the living room with her suitcase by her feet. She's dressed now and is nibbling on her lower lip, something she's done since she was a child when she's nervous.

"He did."

"Are you okay if I go over there by myself?" she asks, then quickly adds, "I won't go if you don't want me to."

I shake my head. "No, you should go. I like that the two of you hit it off. I understand why he doesn't want me there right now. I don't like it, but I get it."

"I promise I'll come back and visit again soon," Katy says, then joins me on the couch to give me a big hug.

"I can always try to come out there and visit you too," I reply.

"Our parents would love that," she tells me. "Maybe I should move away, too, because they are way too involved in my life right now with me the only child close to them."

I chuckle. "Maybe GSU will be hiring a new physical therapist one day."

Katy's eyes light up. "That would be awesome. Then I could bug you all the time like I used to when we were younger."

I fake a shiver, trying to fight a smile. "That sounds like a nightmare."

She gives my shoulder a gentle shove, then stands up. "Love you, big brother. I'll see you soon."

"Love you too, brat. I promise I won't be a stranger."

After she leaves, I spend a good amount of time staring at the ceiling until I decide that I'm being an idiot, and there are better things for me to do with my time, like grading papers. So that's what I do.

Staying stuck in my head isn't going to help things with Ben. The only thing there is to do is wait and stay busy doing it.