Chapter 13

My body is sweatingwhen I wake up. I try to kick off the blankets that are clearly making it too warm but freeze when a deep grumble comes from behind me. Shit, it isn't the blankets causing my body to overheat, it's the fucking furnace of a person holding me.

An almost paralyzing panic rushes up my spine but calms when a familiar voice whispers, "We have another thirty minutes before my alarm is set to go off, go back to sleep."

It's Ian, not some random stranger, not a predator, and not someone who wants to hurt me. I take a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. Slowly, my heart rate returns to normal.

I've never spent the night with any of my previous hookups. I didn't want people to get the wrong impression.

I never realized the absolute fear and terror that would take over my body when I woke up with someone wrapped around me.

"Are you okay?" Ian asks, sensing something isn't right.

I roll over to rest my head on his chest, kissing him there. "I think so," I reply quietly. "Just had a minor panic attack when my brain was still sleepy. I forgot where I was and who I was with."

"Is that common for you?" he inquires.

"I don't know. I've never spent the night with someone. It might have something to do with growing up in the foster system." Ian's body stiffens at my words, and I rush to continue, not wanting him to jump to the wrong conclusion. "I was never touched or anything, but kids talk. It wasn't uncommon to hear about foster parents crawling into bed with kids and making them promise not to say anything.

"Some kids considered it better than being beaten or starved, so they never told any other adults. I'm pretty sure it's something all foster kids worry about, even if it hasn't happened to them.

"Since I've never brought a hookup back to my house and haven't slept over with anyone until last night, I didn't realize that fear still lingered deep inside."

Ian kisses the top of my head, and I melt a little, which is way too dangerous for someone like me.

I cannot fall for him.

Not ever.

Things might be light, new, and fun right now, but the start of hockey season is right around the corner, and I'm going to be busy as fuck. That's why I came up with the friends-with-benefits scenario. I don't have time for a relationship, and I definitely don't need feelings fucking things up.

I've become an expert at keeping people out of my heart almost my entire life, and I can't stop now. I just have to reinforce my walls a little more and maybe keep things more sexual and less sweet.

"Since I'm awake, I might as well get going," I announce, pulling myself out of his arms and climbing out of the bed.

"Would you like some breakfast before you leave?" Ian asks, but I shake my head.

"Nah, I need to work out this morning. I'll grab something to eat when I'm done," I tell him, searching around the room for my clothes.

"They're still in the kitchen where you undressed," he reminds me, and I rush out of his room to find them.

It doesn't take Ian long to follow me down the hall, still gloriously naked. Just the sight of his sexy body gets me going, and I have to force myself to turn away.

"It's not healthy to work out on an empty stomach," Ian advises, his tone gravelly and firm, making it almost impossible to argue. It's something I recognize as his Daddy voice, and it sends shivers throughout my body.

"I'll grab an orange juice and a protein bar when I stop by my apartment to collect my gym bag," I assure him, needing space. "If I eat too much before hitting the gym, I cramp up."

Ian stares at me like he's trying to figure out what's going on. Does he sense my panic? Not wanting to stick around to find out, I say a quick goodbye and rush out the front door.

Thankfully, my phone and keys are still in my pocket, and I don't have to go back in to collect them.

My brain is insanely frazzled right now, but a good workout will make everything better. I was actually bullshitting Ian when I'd told him I was going to work out, but now it sounds like a solid plan. I've always been able to think more clearly after I've pushed my body to the limit.

When I slide into my shitty car that took every last penny of my savings to buy before I started college, I pull my phone out and send a text to Monster. He told me he always keeps his phone on silent at night and to text him whenever I needed a workout partner or just to hang out.

Me: Woke up early. Want to work out together?

He doesn't reply right away, which is to be expected. There's a strong possibility he's not even awake. I toss my cell onto the passenger seat and drive to my apartment.

I'm still fidgety when I arrive at my place, but I smile when I check my phone. A response from Monster states he's up and can meet at the gym in twenty minutes.

I enjoy working out alone, but sometimes, it's nice to have a partner. I find I push myself harder when I have someone by my side. It brings out my competitive side but in a good way.

Entering my place, it's quiet. My roommates must still be asleep, which makes sense, considering how early it is. With soft footsteps, I head to my room and pack my gym bag, not bothering to change out of the clothes I'm wearing.

Once my bag is packed, I sneak out, making sure to be extra quiet. Just because I'm awake stupidly early doesn't mean my roommates want to be, and I'd be a dick to disturb their slumber.

"So,why are you awake this early?" I ask Monster as we're entering the changing room at the gym.

"My sister called," he grumbles. "She's the only person whose texts and calls come through at night."

"Is she okay?" I check, changing into my workout gear.

He sighs. "She's fine. Just boy trouble. I guess her boyfriend's cell was buzzing in the middle of the night and woke her up. She isn't a snoop but was concerned it might be an emergency. Apparently, it was vibrating nonstop. Since he was still asleep, she went ahead and checked the messages. That's how she found out he's been cheating on her. She called crying, and I went to pick her up from his place. I was almost home when you texted."

"Damn," I whisper. "That sucks."

He hums his agreement. "I never liked the guy, but it's not like I could tell her that. If I did, she'd say I was being overprotective. Sometimes, you have to find things out the hard way. I mean, had I known he was cheating, I would have said something, but I just figured he was a prick."

I chuckle. "College is full of guys who only think with their peckers."

Monster laughs, slapping my back. "Didn't you used to be one of those guys?" he teases.

I place my hand on my chest and fake a gasp before winking at him. I'm well aware that I have a reputation at this school, but I'm not ashamed of it. "But the difference between myself and guys like your sister's ex is I've always been honest about who I am. I may have been a playboy, but I never hid that fact. I made sure anyone I slept with knew it was just for one night of fun and nothing more. I didn't cheat, and if I knew someone was in a relationship, I steered clear."

Monster nods. "I respect that. Nothing wrong with sleeping around as long as everyone is aware of the fact. It's the lying I can't stand."

"Exactly! Now that she's free of that dipshit, I hope your sister finds someone better."

"Me too," he murmurs as we lock up our stuff and head into the gym.

I'm ready to push my body to the limit, hoping it will help clear my mind and give me clarity about how I was feeling this morning with Ian.