4. Baylen

Chapter four

Baylen

I ’m about halfway through my drink. I’m pleasantly warm and I find myself smiling more and more as the evening goes by. Milo is telling me a story about one of his last jobs and I’m hanging onto his every word.

Milo’s expressions are so open and entertaining. He’s not afraid to laugh at himself, or use his hands when he’s talking. He’s so different to me and yet, I find myself clinging to his every word. I’m like a moth and he’s a flame that I can’t stop myself from drifting towards.

What is it about him that’s drawing me in? Other men have worked for my attention but I was never interested in them. The people I did find myself attracted to never held my interest once we started dating. They were either too loud or made me feel bad for the way I talked or harped on me about how much I worked. For the first time, it feels like I’ve found someone I’m allowed to be myself around.

My stomach sours. Why did that someone have to be my personal assistant? It’s unprofessional for me to suddenly develop feelings for someone working for me.

“I’m not even joking when I tell you he walks in holding the biggest pot I’ve ever seen.”

“What happened next?”

Milo smirks in a way that makes me feel like we’re sharing a secret together. My stomach flips and the sour feeling quickly washes away. It’s hard to feel upset when I’m sitting next to Milo. It’s similar to how it feels to sit in the sun and feel its warm rays against my face.

“He tripped.”

“No,” I say with a gasp. The idea of someone first of all, bringing in a giant pot of chicken noodle soup to work seems very odd to me, but then to literally spill it all over the floor? I can’t wrap my head around that. “Are you making this up?”

“Absolutely not,” he says, reaching over and putting his hand on my wrist. I don’t normally welcome casual touch but from Milo? It feels really nice. That pleasant warm feeling in the pit of my stomach spreads through my extremities. “I wouldn’t make something up like that, especially not while talking with you, Baylen.”

“Oh,” I breathe out, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Milo says with a wink. He leans back in his seat, pulling his hand away. I miss his touch immediately. I feel like someone that’s learning something about themselves for the very first time, like when I first came to the understanding of my sexuality. I feel like my eyes are opening fully and I’m seeing Milo.

Is this the feeling people talk about when they ramble about getting a crush?

“The carpet smelled like chicken noodle soup for about a month after that. Management ended up hiring a professional cleaning company to come and shampoo the carpets and that finally did the trick.”

I shake my head. “I still don’t understand why he thought bringing something like that to work was a good idea. Plus, potlucks are disgusting. You have no idea how people clean their kitchens. What if they let their dog lick their fingers and then they don’t wash their hands?” I shiver in disgust just thinking about it.

Most people would make fun of me for my reaction but Milo has a soft smile on his face when I look over at him. “If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same exact way. You can’t trust everyone’s cooking. You? I would trust you to cook for me.”

“Most of my cooking consists of making large batches of meals I can reheat on the go.”

Milo chuckles and the sound seems to run right through me, warming me to my very core. Oh, what a delightful noise. “That doesn’t surprise me. You like what you like.”

“Yes. Exactly. A lot of people have told me that makes me boring.”

A little wrinkle forms between Milo’s eyes. “I don’t think you’re boring. There’s something really refreshing about talking to you, Baylen. You don’t mince your words. You’re very straightforward which I really appreciate. Plus, you’re obviously not afraid to try new things from time to time. Those people just didn’t get to see you the way I see you.” Milo’s words hit me square in the chest. They’re so earnest. He sees me the way I want to be seen.

It’s getting harder and harder to remember that Milo is my employee.

“Sorry,” he says softly, picking up his water and taking a long swig. “I probably shouldn’t have said all that. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You haven’t,” I say right away. I clench my fist so tight my knuckles turn white before reaching over and initiating contact with him. It’s so outside of my wheelhouse that it makes me uncomfortable but the soft smile Milo gives me makes that uncomfortableness dissipate. “The opposite actually.”

Milo’s hand covers my own and I’m struck with the sudden urge to kiss him.

But that’s ridiculous! I can’t kiss him! Besides that, I’m positive Milo wouldn’t want me to kiss him.

“I’m really sorry that I messed up your work dinner but I can’t say I’m sorry this is where you’ve ended up tonight. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you outside of work, Baylen,” Milo says, giving my hand a soft squeeze.

I pull my hand away, hiding it in my lap. Tingles run up my arm and I do my best to hide the way they’re making me feel. “I’m glad to have ended up here too. You are far better company than Wallace anyway.”

“Wait, Baylen, was that a joke ?”

I look away. “I’ve been known to tell a joke from time to time.”

Milo’s warm chuckle makes me smile despite myself. His eyes light up when I chuckle along with him. I feel like I could sit and stare into those dark eyes all night. I would gladly make a fool of myself in order to keep him laughing.

It’s official. I have a crush on my personal assistant.

This is going to end in disaster. Part of me thinks about ordering another drink to help take the edge off and allow me to enjoy my time with Milo without overthinking it. The bigger part of me knows that wouldn’t be very smart. Plus, I like being in control of myself and that control slips with the influence of alcohol.

“I suppose, it’s about time we headed home,” Milo says, standing up and stretching his arms over his head. When I arrived, he was clearly drunk, but while I’ve been here, he’s had nothing to drink but water. “Would you mind giving me a ride home? If you’re not comfortable, that’s okay. I can call for a ride.”

“I don’t mind at all.” I quickly pull out my wallet and put twenty more dollars on the bar for an extra tip. Milo notices and he covers his mouth with his hand, hiding his grin. My stomach flips once more. The thing appears to have a mind of its own tonight.

Milo gets into my car, looking around curiously. I want to ask him what he’s thinking but that feels too personal. Thankfully, he seems to read my mind and answer that question without me having to ask it. “Your car is very tidy.”

“Most of my spaces are tidy.”

“Are you implying you have a space that’s messy?”

“Yes, I’m not a machine,” I tell him as I start my car and pull out of the parking space. “My garage is a mess. There’s boxes and storage and random stuff. It’s almost like the boxes procreate whenever I’m away.”

Milo giggles, shaking his head. “Can I say something kind of personal? Feel free to tell me no.”

I chance a glance over at Milo. He’s watching me carefully. I like that he always gives me an out. There’s no pressure, no expectation. Everything is always what I’m comfortable with. For that very reason, I nod my head. “Yes, you can say something personal.”

“The more I get to know you, the more I like you, Baylen.”

“Oh,” I say, not really knowing what I’m supposed to say to that. “Thank you.”

Milo’s grin widens. “You’re welcome.”

There’s no expectation for me to say I like him back. I can just thank him for saying something kind to me. The truth is though, I do like him. I like Milo a great deal. He’s a wonderful personal assistant, he’s very good at his job, but he’s also a wonderful person outside of work. When he talks with other staff, they always light up. He really is like the sun, isn’t he?

Milo directs me as I drive. There’s something very soothing about following someone else’s instructions. On the rare nights I actually have time off, I enjoy putting Lego sets together. They end up on my shelves as decor. I like following the instructions and something coming together. I don’t have to think about it, just read and do. I love it.

I pull my car into Milo’s driveway. My hands tighten around the steering wheel, keeping me from doing something rude like trying to give Milo a hug or something. These feelings inside of me feel so unlike what I usually feel. Milo makes me feel more relaxed than anyone else has in a really long time.

“As always,” Milo says slowly, “please feel free to say no, but there’s obviously something here.” Milo gestures between the two of us, smiling as he meets my wide eyes. “I would regret not asking. Would you like to come inside?”

I swallow around the lump in my throat. I should say no. It would be better if I said no. It would be better if I reminded Milo that I’m technically his boss, even if the position is temporary and it would be inappropriate for me to go inside his house. It would be wrong if we did anything more than just be friends.

I open my mouth and surprise even myself when instead of saying no, I say, “I’d like that.”

Milo’s eyes shine with excitement and his smile is downright radiant. I could look at him all night and be content, but there’s a part of me that wants to know how far Milo will take this. I want everything he’s willing to give me, even if it’s just for tonight.

“I’d really like that too,” he says, leaning over the center of the car and kissing my cheek. “Come on, let’s get inside before we start getting cold.”

My entire body tingles from that one little kiss. How will I react when Milo asks for more? How does he make everything feel so easy?

I have no idea what Milo has in store. I’m filled with excited nerves. I’m not good at stuff like this, but with Milo, it doesn’t feel so scary. That warm, homey smell that’s always on Milo’s skin fills my nose and the last of my nerves seems to fade away to the back of my mind where they can’t bother me.

I get out of the car and follow Milo into his home.