Chapter Seventeen

Kert

M arin’s apartment had felt like home over the past five weeks, but it was time for me to leave.

I sat at the back of the taxi next to Marin and looked at New York City passing me by. My two suitcases sat in the trunk—one with the clothes that had come with me, and the other with stuff I bought during my stay.

Our time at the cabin had been magical, matching every other second I’d spent with Marin. We’d attended a New Years’ Eve party at Leslie’s wife’s fancy-ass apartment with a view on Central Park and met with Marin’s friends. Everything had been perfect until I overheard Marin talking to DeeDee.

“No, DeeDee, I don’t know what to do with him. I can’t take it anymore.”

He’d said he loved me, but that didn’t mean he wanted me to stay. Or be in a long-distance relationship. Marin had enough of my needy ass, which was fair. I’d asked a lot of him over the past weeks.

Marin helped me unload my suitcases and walked into the departures section with me.

“Thank you for coming over.” Marin caressed my cheek with his knuckles while wrapping his tentacle around my waist. “Are you okay?”

I sniffled. “No, I’m leaving.” I stood in the middle of JFK with tears in my eyes and my heart breaking, certain I was going to be kicked off the plane for my histrionics. “It was the best—” I let out a sob. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll visit you soon. Or you can come over anytime.” Marin reached for my hand, but I pulled away.

“You don’t get it.”

“What? Kert, tell me.”

I wiped my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. Well, Marin’s hoodie, but I had to have something that smelled like him on me.

“I came over hoping that the time with you would cure me of my nine-year crush.”

“Oh…” He took a step back, unwinding his tentacle. I missed his touch already. “I didn’t know. Did it work?”

I shoved him. “No. You made it worse. So much worse.” I let the tears roll down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry. No, I’m not. Because this has been the best few weeks of my life by far.”

“And what are you gonna do about that?”

Marin cupped my face in his hands and I let him, soaking in his touch like the last hit of a drug I wouldn’t be able to get anymore.

“I love you, Kert.”

“No!” I pushed him away. “I was supposed to give you this first.” I pulled a folded piece of paper from my pocket and handed it to him. “But then you didn’t say it when we exchanged gifts and I chickened out. And last night I heard you talking to DeeDee. You told her that you didn’t know what to do with me. That you couldn’t take it anymore.”

Marin’s lilac complexion turned pale. “That was me telling her how hard it was knowing that you were leaving. She told me that she knew I loved you by the way I was looking at you that night at the gallery opening.” He opened the note with trembling hands then released a laugh. “You scared me, you little devil!” He hugged the paper to his chest with the words ‘I Love You’ that I had scribbled back at the cabin.

I sniffled. “I wanted you to ask me to stay, dumbass.”

“But you can’t.” He shook his head. “No, that’s not what I meant. I want you to but I checked, it’s almost impossible. Well, there’s one thing.”

“What are you on about?” I frowned.

“I wanted to ask you to stay so I checked visas and stuff and I found a solution.” He took my hand and kneeled on one knee.

I looked around at people staring at us. “What the fuck are you doing? Stand up.” I pulled on his hold, but he stayed put.

“Hear me out. You could stay on a fiancé visa, if you’d like. I don’t have a ring but—”

“ Du spinnst wohl! ” I joined him on my knees. “You’re crazy.” I released a laugh through a sob. “Last week, my agent confirmed that I can stay on a visa for artists, she even found a place at a local college for me.”

“What? You’re ready to stay? What about your life and your work in Berlin? Your students? Your family?”

“Family can visit, and my life is with you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I’ve been in love with you for nine years, Marin.” I brushed aside a strand of purple hair that had fallen over his forehead. “I was just waiting for you to ask me to stay.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “And marry me.”

I rested my forehead against his. “Small steps maybe, okay?”

“Yes, but—” He took my hands in his, then warped his tentacles around my wrists. “But can I ask you again? Properly?”

“Yes.” I kissed him. “And I already know what I’ll say.”