1. We’re Going On A Quest

Percy liked being a hedgehog. He liked hedgehog treats. He liked snuggling up in covers and binge watching TV shows. What he liked most of all was feeling needed by his witch. His soul purpose for his entire life as a witchs familiar was to enhance her magic, keep her safe, and hed given himself the added mission to help her be happy.

He was great at being a familiar. Kadys magic was off the charts, she was safe, and she was deliriously happy. But not because of him.

Sigh.

She and Percy didnt spend even half as many hours binge watching their favorite series, eating Mamp;Ms and popcorn. He’d slipped out of the house, found a comfy spot in the garden, and looked up at the stars. Not for the first time wished for his old life back. Life before hed become a shifter, a human. That had been fun for like a day. After that, not so much.

Still, there was something familiar in this human form. Something that itched at his brain.

But that didnt make sense. Must be the clothes that were itchy.

Pants were the worst. All itchy and had to be put on and taken off, and half-taken off anytime he had to pee. What was up with that? Hed found out the hard way that people did not think it was appropriate when he rolled round in the grass on his back naked as a human.

Plus, Kady didnt give him treats or belly rubs anymore. She said it was weird now and her mate, who was a giant growly dragon who could eat him in one bite didnt like the idea much either.He didnt even enjoy spending time at home anymore. The tiny house he lived in with Kady didnt feel like the lovely snug trailer theyd lived in. Or maybe it was just him that didnt feel the same. It wasnt like he was going to curl up in the crook of Kadys elbow like he used to when he was just a hedgehog.

Not when Kady and Neo had... well, hed rather not think about her sex life. That was too weird. He was happy she was in love and had found her soul mate. But he didnt know where he fit into her life anymore.

Kady still loved him, shed told him so, and they still got to spend time together, but it wasnt the same. He felt very lost and alone these days and just wanted his old simple life as a magical hedgehog back.

He stared up at the stars and itched his left thigh. Why had the fates cursed him?

Since nothing but watching the stars felt familiar anymore, he often slipped out at night and watched them, making wishes on them like people did in the movies. Like tonight. But tonight wasnt so peaceful. Hed been ambushed.

Two immensely powerful beings sauntered right up to him and took a seat on either side of his star gazing rock. He had history with these women. While Im always grateful for your presence Ms. Ninsy, Lady Inanna, Im afraid Im in a bit of mood and not fit for company right now.

Inanna was a cute and chubby gnome whose garden they all lived in was so much more than she seemed, and he wasnt sure why she didnt let the others see her true form. She smiled at him like she knew something he didnt. Nothing new. He didnt feel like he knew anything that was going on anymore. What you need, my boy, is a quest.

Ninsy, the warrior witch who was thousands of years old, held out her sword like a light saber and pointed toward the stars. But all it did was block his view, even though it was probably meant to inspire him. He was no Luke Skywalker or Han Solo.

A quest? No, not for me. I have my duties already. I keep my witch safe and happy. Or at least he used to. Her certainly couldnt let the others think he wasnt doing his job. Even if everyone knew it.

Kadys mate Neo was so good to her. He was the one who kept her safe and happy. Percy had never seen her smile so much. It wasnt like he wanted Kady to be unhappy.

Youve outgrown that role, and you know it. Inanna gave Ninsy a smile and a nod that showed the two of them were cooking up trouble. If he didnt watch out, hed end up turned into a dragon or something.

Inanna wrapped her little arm through his and he had to admit he was comforted by her touch much like that of a mothers. Not that he remembered whether he even had a mother or not. His past before becoming a hedgehog familiar was a blank.

Kady has grown into a powerful soul witch with her mate by her side. Your job was to guide her until she was ready to embrace that new life and love. Isnt it your turn to have the same?

He already had a new life, just not the one he expected. But love? For him?

Hed never considered his own happiness. Not until recently anyway. Even if he wasnt that useful anymore, a witch needed her familiar. She practically wasnt a witch without one. He was duty bound to Kady. I wont leave her alone.

Ninsy climbed up on his rock and lifted one of her arms in the air, and took a few long deep breaths. Yoga? Hed seen a Jennifer Lopez movie where she did weird poses with her body. That must be what Ninsy was doing too.

Either that or getting ready to cast some sort of spell.

She isnt alone. Shell be even happier if she knew you werent out here twiddling your thumbs every night. Thus, why you need a quest.

J-Lo said yoga helped her feel calmer and it Ninsy and Inanna werent stressed out, so maybe he should try it. He stepped up on the rock next to her and tried to lift his leg up like hed seen in the movies. It only went up a foot or so off the ground before his muscles were straining. He did not feel less stressed. I just want things to go back to the way they were before. I liked being a hedgehog. Can my quest be how to get rid of this curse of being able to shift into a human?

Inanna twisted her head, tipping her chin to the side like hed said something very strange. Not quite what I was thinking, but its your quest. Youve got to figure out how to get your happy ever after. Fulfill your destiny.

Now there was the first thing hed understood from the little gnome. All the best Romcoms on TV had couples who lived happily ever after. That meant he needed to find a woman and fall in love. Hmm. No. That plotline didnt seem like the one for him. Bad idea. It would be better to go on an adventure to find a mystical being who could magically take away his curse.

Yeah, much better movie plot.

They were right. A quest movie was definitely his jam.

Mmm. Jam. Jam donuts. Jam on toast. Jammy cookies. Jam tarts.

That did it. His quest was going to make his way into Rogue and find the pie shop that Kady was always brining him those delicious treats from. He mostly kept to the garden and the house. Before he and Kady moved to Rogue on her action adventure romance fantasy quest, he rarely even saw the outside of the tiny house.

Man life was easier back then. He could just curl up into a ball, munch on some cheese puffs, and be content to watch his favorite heroes ride off into the sunset. Now he had to...do human things. He definitely did not know how to use this weirdly long and lanky body very well. So he sat down on the rock, because he was good at being close to the ground. Id rather figure out a different destiny. I want to change my fate.

Percy clapped his hands over his mouth. Oops. He hadnt meant to say that out loud. Where had that even come from?

Hmm. Inanna plopped down beside him and snuggled up close. You sure thats what you want?

Did he? The destiny before him, being stuck here in this garden with no real meaning to his life was definitely not what he wanted.

One hundred and he thought for a moment, ... seventeen percent.

But it wasnt a thing that was possible. He couldnt go back in time to before that fateful day. Even if he could, he wouldnt change what happened. Kady had needed him to be a human, so he became a human. Thats what familiars did. They fulfilled the needs of their witch to whom they loved and were devoted.

Really what he needed to do was quite whining and wishing and suck it up, buttercup.

Inanna patted his leg and then gave Ninsy a little nod. Well, the only way I know to change your fate is to make friends with one.

Was she seriously saying there was a way to change his fate? Couldnt be. He must have misunderstood. One what?

Ninsy gave a little swirl of her hand and pointed to a spot in the sky. A half-second later, a shooting star streaked through the dark blue of the night. A Fate.

A flutter went through Percys chest. Is that a thing? Can I make friends with a Fate? Where do I find one. Im excellent at making friends.

Hed made friends with all of the other dragons who lived in the garden, Kadys sisters, and their familiars too. Hed even shared a smile with the young wolftress when she wasnt being sneaky. This was the first tiny bit of hope hed had in a long time. It was exciting.

If he changed his destiny, by making friends with a fate, he could feel needed again, he could snuggle on the couch with Kady and watch all nine Star Wars and then the spin-off movies in a row while eating all the cheddar caramel mixed popcorn.

Here comes one now. Inanna pointed toward that same brilliant streak in the sky that Ninsy had spotted.

Thats a shooting star. He made a wish on it real quick. Everyone knew wishes made on shooting stars were the best.

Thats, my fine, not so furry friend, is a Fate, and she is coming in hot. Inanna said and raised an eyebrow like he should do something about it.

Ooh. A Fate, coming down like a shooting star from the skies? Not the strangest thing hed seen in his time as a witchs familiar. She was going to be cold and alone when she hits land. The wilds of the East Coast was a dangerous place at night, whether she ended up in a city or the rural forests and fields. Too bad she doesnt have a hero to come to her rescue.

Hed seen enough old western movies to know that damsels in distress needed a cowboy to rescue them. The one and only thing hed was good at in his human form was doing John Wayne and Clint Eastwood impressions. Percy would admit that he looked good in a cowboy hat.

He didnt know how to ride a horse. But he could learn. In a quiet whisper that came from somewhere deep inside, a place he wasnt all that familiar with, he said, I could be a hero.

Inanna and Ninsy shared another knowing look. Inanna gave him a pinch on the leg, which got him to stand up real fast. Well, then you better get a move on.

He wasn’t a hundred percent sure he would be able to rescue the woman, but he had to try. He would pull on all the of the knowledge he had, maybe load up his tablet with a few hero movies to refer to on his quest.

Yes. His quest. To rescue the damsel in distress, a Fate, and maybe a new friend.

Definitely a couple of John Wayne’s, a Clint Eastwood or two, and maybe a few Harrison’s Ford flicks for good measure, should give him enough heroic guidance. Do you know where I can get a horse and a six-shooter?

Ninsy’s eyes twinkled and the corners of her mouth quirked up at the corners. Why dont you ask Herbie to be your noble steed, and take a six-pack, instead of a six-shooter?

Six pack of donuts? Cookies? No, those were called half-dozens. Perhaps a six-pack of root beer. Close enough.

He hurried back to the tiny house to ask Kady for permission to borrow Herbie, her magical truck/tank/broom or whatever kind of transport it deemed she needed. But as he approached the house, he saw her inside, being scooped up by Neo, laughing and then kissing as they headed off toward the bedroom.

Maybe hed just leave a note. Kady wouldnt mind. If she needed to go anywhere, she could just get Neo to fly her. He was a dragon after all. If he hurried maybe hed find the star, Fate, woman, before she even noticed he was gone.

By sunrise, he’d said a silent goodbye to Kady and rode off on his trusty stead. Herbie had opted to transform into a showy, red motorcycle just like the ones in Clint Eastwoods Every Which Way But Loose. All he needed now was an orangutang and he was sure to get the girl.

He probably wasnt going to come across any available primate sidekicks out here, but at least with Herbie hed never get a flat tire or run out of gas and wouldnt crash or... fall over since he hadnt ever driven a motorcycle in his life.

Once they were out of town and out on the road headed toward the way the shooting star had fallen, he pulled out of bag out a strawberry jam sandwich hed thought to pack and munched, while he thought about what hed saw to the Fate when he saw her. He stopped after a few bites though, because what if she was hungry? Sharing food was always a good start to a friendship.

Herbie flashed a dot on his GPS display and it seemed pretty darn close, but Percy wasn’t seeing anything that might indicate a crash landing. He knew what those looked like. That’s how Kady had met Neo. But the highway along the beach didn’t really have very many trees or grassy fields for a ship to break a swath of destruction through.

I think were going to have to get off the road, Herbster. Can you head up the beach a ways?

Herbie gave a little honk-honk and glided right over the shoulder, over a grassy knoll, and right into the sand. They even splashed at the edge of the water. Percy hoped they werent going to have to swim for it. Hedgehogs didnt like water all that much.

But, oh. There, near some rocks and crashing waves, there was a streak of blackened sand and molten glass just like something had crashed. Wow, if this was where the Fate had landed, she really had come in hot.

Herbie, slow down and let me off. I think I see something. Yes. Yes. Yes. A woman circled up in a ball on the ground in crater in the sand. That had to be his Fate.

Uh-oh. She looked like poo on a poo-poo platter. That was not good. Herbie skidded to a stop. Percy raced at the edge of the crater, where Percy hopped off, grabbed his pack, and ran to the woman. He skidded on his knees across the slick swatch of glass, still hot beneath her, until he was at her side and then gently touched her shoulder to see if she was alive.

Electricity mixed with the scent of hot buttered popcorn and the coolness of Dippin’ Dots fluttered through his entire body at that first contact and Percy gasped. All he wanted to do was touch her again, hold her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be all right. Every one of those things was completely inappropriate for a hero.

The girl moved like she was simply asleep and he’d disturbed her rest. But her lips were dry and cracked at heat radiated off of her.

He didn’t know her name, so couldn’t call it to try and wake her. What would a hero cowboy do? “Well, hello there, little lady. You’re looking mighty tired, don’tcha know.”

No response.

Shoot. That was his best John Wayne impression. Now what was he supposed to do?

The girl moaned slightly and a really big ant crawled across her bare shoulder. Percy put his finger in its path and let it crawl on him, then set it down on the ground. “Shoo. If you’re not here to help, get on back to your family. We’re terribly busy.”

The ant made it clear that Percy couldn’t leave her out in the hot sun in the sand any longer. He zipped open his pack and pulled out his shiny silver survival blanket and attached one edge to the rocks near her feet and found a then popped open the umbrella hed packed and hooked the other end to the tip so he had a rudimentary shelter to give them some shade until he figured out what to do next.

He should have watched more survival reality tv shows. What was he supposed to do next?

He was thirsty, so she must be too. He cracked open one of the bottles of root beer and dribbled the teensiest bit on her lips and her tongue dipped out. The first sign of life. Hooray. Also... her tongue was so cute and pink and he wanted to lick it.

Gross. Why would he think that? Heroes didn’t think about licking heroines. He concentrated on getting her more to drink instead. A few more dribbles, and she pulled the soda into her mouth this time with her lips. Good, maybe she was coming around.

“Little lady? Can you hear me?”

Her eyes fluttered open and holy moly, they were the color of... everything. The stars, the moon, the sunset, the sunrise, the greenest grass, the brightest tulips, the bluest water, and the softest brown fur on his favorite teddy bear. The colors swirled and coalesced into a soft lavender color.

“Aaah,” she said and then frowned. “Uhah-er.”

This was his moment. He knew exactly what to say. “I’m Percy, I’m here to rescue you.”

She reached her arm out and smacked him in the face, knocking the cowboy had that wind and road hadnt budged, right off his head.

What a woman.