Chapter 18

Winnie

I ’m haloed by an after-orgasm glow that still has me grinning, blushing, and feeling sexier than I’ve ever felt in my entire life long after I’ve showered, braided my curls into pigtails, slid on a fresh tank top, overalls, and work boots, and gallop back downstairs to find a spotless kitchen.

Waiting for me at the table are Mason and Cruz, with damp hair and huge happy grins to match my own.

“Ready, cupcake?” Mason asks as they stand.

I nod, hoping my glow will be enough to keep me from running away in tears when I see the house in the daylight, and I’m hit by memories and voices all over again.

“Look at you!” Cruz says, appreciatively, tugging one of my braids. “These cute little things make me want to bend you over the counter and kiss you again. ”

He throws me a flirty wink and I laugh, but suddenly my father’s voice is there in my head, choking me into silence. “Shame you’re not pretty enough to be a real girlfriend. You’re the kind of girl those guys only want to practice with, you just better not be the whore who takes it.”

Deep breath.

I force the voice away, and head for the door, refusing to let myself be haunted. I’m taking the bull by the horns – or the ghost by the ectoplasm – and facing it head on.

“Hey, look who’s come to join us!” I hear Diesel call from an upstairs window as we walk across the lawn.

My heart starts thundering as I approach the house, but seeing the house doesn’t put me in the same shut down panic as before. And knowing all of my guys are here for me together is the best medicine.

Hearing Diesel, everyone heads to the entryway, assembling around us as we enter the house. I catch Gav’s eye and he smiles, holding me steady as my senses acclimate to the house in the daylight.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Mason asks the group.

“Mr. Man with the Plan,” Gunnar says, using one of Jack’s many nicknames, “thinks we should gut it.”

Jack slides a glance at me. It’s almost sheepish. “I think a fresh start would be nice, is all.”

“Well.” I move over to stand next to him, surveying the room, trying to see it through his eyes. Then I lean my head against his shoulder, just because I can. I can touch them whenever I want to and however I want to. “There’s no such thing as a fresh start for me, when it comes to this place. But a blank slate would be nice.”

He wraps an arm around me and gives me a squeeze.

Diesel raps his knuckles on one wall. “Old girl’s got such good bones, though.”

“Yes, she does.” Axel’s eyes take a long, romantic stroll down the length of my body and back up to meet my eyes with a flirty wink. “And I can’t wait to jump them.”

I laugh-groan-whimper. “Uh, excuse me, he was talking about the house, not me, and if you think referring to me as ‘Old girl’ is the way to my heart that would be incorrect, buddy.” I walk over and poke him playfully in the stomach. “Just thought you should be aware of that little life hack now that we’re…”

“Dating,” Axel says helpfully.

“Dating,” I confirm. Honestly, what is my life right now?

Jack clears his throat and claps his hands together. He has the infamous clipboard. There are grown women who have seriously and publicly stated that if they had one wish, it would be to spend a day as Jack’s clipboard. Not world peace, not a cure for cancer. And I mean… he does hold that thing with such a firm yet careful grip.

“So what we were thinking is you can make a wishlist for us, like you did with the cottage and…” his voice trails off as I shake my head. “No?”

“That is very thoughtful and sweet and wonderful and Hammer-ish of you all, but this place is never going to be my dream house. I’m sure it will be amazing, because all of your renos are–”

“Our renos,” Leo corrects .

I flash him a grateful smile. I’ll never take for granted how he always, always takes that extra step to make me feel included, especially when I’m leaving myself out.

“Right. Okay. All of our renos are amazing. But I am never going to love every nook and cranny of this house the way I love the cottage and no one better make the phrase ‘nook and cranny’ dirty for me.”

This is met with several chuckles, and a devious gleam in Cruz’s eyes.

They’re all listening, so I go on. “I want to see the vision you guys have for this place. I want to see all of your fingerprints on it. I’ll help choose the colors and finishes and everything, obviously, but as far as the layout and all the special features… I want this to be your brainchild.”

I’ve actually thought about this quite a bit. We’ll dismantle this place, rid it of every rotten board, even if we can’t do the same for all the rotten memories. Then I want them to rebuild it with love. With all of our other renos, we let the families have wishlists, the way they had done with me and the cottage. But this one, I want to be all them.

That’s the only thing that keeps me from wanting to just swing into the place on a wrecking ball, ala Miley circa 2013, knocking it all down, until nothing is left but a pile of rubble that can be swept away.

“If that’s how you want it, you got it, princess,” Max says.

“We’ll add so much value, you’ll be able to sell it for whatever price you want,” Gav promises.

“I’ll give it so much curb appeal, Mom and Pops will want to buy it from you,” Axel jokes .

I’d been thinking about that, as well. I scrunch up my nose. “I might not want to sell it actually,” I rush on despite their expressions, which run the gamut from a quizzical to confounded to perplexed to flirty as hell. “I might want to give it away. If I could pick the perfect family for it… a deserving family, a family that needs it… I don’t know. Despite how it was for me, maybe this place can be a happy home. Someone’s dream home. A home they’d never get to have otherwise.”

All my boys are looking at me, beaming with pride.

“How very Win of you,” Gavin says.

“Well, you know what they say, a demo a day keeps the doctor away,” Gunnar.

“Absolutely no one says that, dude.” Gav rolls his eyes. “But let’s do this.”

“What room do you want to start in, Win?” Theo asks.

“Actually,” Jack jumps in quickly, his eyes finding mine. “Winnie, will you go on a date with me?”

“Right now?” I ask.

“There’s no time like the present, Winifred.”

“You can’t hurry love, Jackman,” I retort, but I’m grinning. God, it’s a big goofy grin, I can feel it stretching my cheeks.

“You guys mind?” Jack asks his brothers.

No one grumbles but no one jumps up and down cheering, either.

Finally Diesel says, “Go. We got this. Win, is there anything you want us to save for you to… ”

“Let my wounded inner child knock the shit out of?” I finish, half-joking. “Yeah, save the recliner for me. Thanks.” I turn to Jack. “Do I need to change?”

“Not a damn thing,” he says.

I roll my eyes, but my insides are both ooey and gooey. “I meant, do I need to put on another outfit?”

“Nah, but if you want to take what you’re wearing off and y’know, not put anything else–”

“It’s Jack’s turn, Cruz,” I wag my finger at him.

SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?

“You know he’s going to be incorrigible now that he knows there’s a chance you might flirt back with him, right?” Jack asks, amused.

Before I can reply, Jack swoops me up, then, slinging me over his shoulder as he always does around our renos. It feels so familiar but new. He’s wearing a shirt for once. I might need to adjust our list of rules to add necessary shirtlessness because this shoulder ride is not nearly as fun as it could be. I’ve fantasized about him swooping me up and off to the bedroom so many times over the years, but this is the first time it actually could happen because we are officially dating.

“Have her back by curfew or you’re both grounded!” Gunnar calls as Jack carries me out the front door.

Oh my God, is he going to take me across the street, up to his room, toss me on his mattress, and have his way with me?

How am I already this incredibly turned on again? Surely I must have some kind of Horny-for-the-Hammers disorder .

As soon as we reach the curb, Jack swerves off toward his truck, and when he puts me down, it’s so that he can open the passenger side door.

“Soooo… where are we going?” I ask as I slide in. It’s odd for him to want to do this so spontaneously. After all, he is Mr. Man with the Plan.

“The hardware store,” he says.

I glance at him, looking for any trace that he might be kidding, but his expression is dead serious.

“That okay?” he asks.

I mean, my guys all love tools, but the hardware store isn’t exactly the place for top-tier romance. Does Jack really see me as a woman he can be with romantically or does he just see me as the friend with an eye for picking out tile?

But his smile is warm, and with enough heat in his eyes to have me answering, “Well, I am fond of hammers.”