Chapter 17

A roar cut through the room. Ji Yue thought it was the blood rushing through her ears or the echo of her own screams. The opium smoke was filtering into her blood, dulling her thoughts and her feelings. Sounds took on a distance that had delayed meaning.

The man holding the pipe disappeared, and the pipe lay on the ground forgotten. Then she saw him: Bo Tao. His face was contorted in fury. He moved so fast–faster than any of the men that he peeled off her and threw aside. The heaviest on top of her was lifted away, and she could breathe again, but she didn't move. She was watching her love. She could see every flex of his muscles, every bead of sweat on his face. His movements were fluid, the exchange of blows like the flow of water in an elaborate fountain dance, and yet she knew he grit his teeth and heard his growl of effort with every blow–given or received.

She heard the screams of virgins, the bellows of other men, but Bo Tao consumed her vision and her thoughts. A part of her feared for him. Whenever someone else cut him from her sight, she ached with the fear that he would not resurface, he would not survive. But he always did. He always came back to fight for her again.

Her heart swelled with love.

And then, to her delight, the room cleared. Bo Tao was free to kneel down beside her, his eyes anxious with fear. Blood smeared across his cheek, his chest heaved as he breathed great gulps of air, and his hand trembled as it extended to her face.

"Ji Yue! Ji Yue! Are you all right?"

"I love you," she said. She felt it so strongly that the thought and the words formed without pause. "I love you."

His body stiffened in reaction. His eyes widened and she watched him swallow, the corded bands of his neck standing out in stark relief. Then he pressed his fingers to her lips. "Shhh, Ji Yue. You are not feeling well."

She wanted to say she was feeling quite fine, but she didn't want to argue with him. And it didn't matter anyway, because he wasn't looking at her. Though he kept one hand on her mouth, the other began pointing as he issued orders.

Ji Yue hadn't even realized there were others in the room, others that had fought by Bo Tao's side. She had seen only him. Now she heard Bo Tao order arrests. The whites were to be escorted out of China, never to return. The other virgins were sent to a palace she hadn't heard of before–yet another building in the vast Forbidden City.

It wasn't until someone accidentally stepped on her hair that she realized she shouldn't be lying here on the floor. It was time she got her excruciatingly heavy body back to the safety of her bed. Except, of course she wasn't thinking about her bed in the virgin's palace. There was no safety there. She certainly wasn't dreaming of her bed back with her family in Peking. She could only think of Bo Tao's arms wrapped around her. How she wanted to rest her head on his shoulder and watch the dawn soften the heavy, black night.

But that wasn't going to happen, she realized. She was an Imperial virgin and would soon become an Emperor's wife, even if she was locked in the lowest harem and never heard from again. Bo Tao was not part of her future, and she needed to remember that. She did remember that, but when she told herself to get up and go back to the virgin's palace, she ended up curled on her side again with silent tears streaming down her face.

She heard a strangled moan above her from Bo Tao. She felt for his pain and wished for his sake that she could stop her tears. But she couldn't, so she buried her face into the dirty floor.

"You need to see the women's doctor!" he said harshly. Then she felt his hands gently gather her up. She wanted to say she could walk, but his arms felt so good as he pressed her deep against his chest. Then she heard him say something else.

"Throw his body out for the dogs."

Someone had died? Curiosity and fear made her lift her head. Was it the man she had scraped with her nails? Could that kill him?

It was eunuch Duan Xu. She stared at the body for a moment and tried to feel something. He had been a major part of tonight's terrible events, but he wasn't the sole one responsible. Still, she could not be sad that he was dead. In truth, she was grateful that she'd never have to face him again.

Then another image filtered through her mind. She saw eunuch Duan Xu wield a heavy wood tray as he threw it at Bo Tao's head. Bo Tao had ducked, spun and threw a kick that caught the man under his chin. His head had snapped back, and he had dropped as he lay now, his neck broken.

"You killed him," she murmured.

Bo Tao's arms tightened around her. "Does that bother you?"

She shook her head and buried her face against his chest. "Thank you."

Bo Tao released a very masculine grunt and began walking with her in his arms. He carried her out of the Emperor's palace. She closed her eyes, allowing the rhythm of his heart mix with the steady motion of his walk. She felt the cool night air against her skin and the rippling pull of her unbound hair. She opened her eyes to see if the sky was lightening into dawn, but saw a thousand stars instead. It was deepest night, and she smiled. She would have a lot more time to stay right here in his arms.

She closed her eyes and prayed that this moment would never end. She felt him step over the entrance to an inner courtyard and then again into another building. They maneuvered through passageways until he finally set her gently down on a pallet.

"Ji Yue, do you need a doctor right away?" he asked.

"No," she answered. "No, I'm fine. My head hurts though."

He immediately began touching her head, probing through her hair with gentle fingertips. She winced once or twice, but mostly she liked the feel of his hands in her hair.

"Hmmmm," she murmured.

"I could kill them for what they did to you!"

She smiled. "At least I got to see you again. Where have you been?"

His expression sobered. "Did you mean what you said, Ji Yue? Did you mean it?"

She frowned."What?"

"That you..." He had to clear his throat. "That you love me?"

She laughed. "Of course, I did, silly. I do not let just anyone carry me across the Forbidden City. Come closer." Then she reached up and pulled him down onto the pallet with her, as she maneuvered back into his arms. "I like it here." She closed her eyes to appreciate his scent while his thumb stroked lightly across her cheek.

"We have some time before the doctor arrives. Do you want to sleep?"

"I want to watch the dawn with you," she said, her eyes still closed.

He didn't respond for a long time. He was quiet while she listened to the rapid beat of his heart.

"What would you give up, Ji Yue? What would you give to be with me like this always?"

"Everything," she said as she burrowed her fingers under and around his shirt. She wanted to touch his naked chest.

"Would you leave the Forbidden City? Would you give up being Empress?"

"We could live in a house near Canton. Our sons would play in the garden while we watched the ships come and go." She smiled at the lovely dream. "I would bear you many strong sons."

He lifted her chin and took her mouth in a fierce kiss. It was bold and powerful. The way his tongue swept through her sent tingles down her spine. And when he lifted his head, she smiled again.

"You would kiss me just like that every day."

"Every day and every night," he swore. His eyes looked fierce, his expression possessive. She liked the way he looked at her.

"Touch me, Sun Bo Tao. Touch me everywhere."

He hesitated, his hand stilling against her cheek. "You are not yourself, Ji Yue. They gave you opium."

She wanted to grab his face, she wanted to kiss him deeply. Instead, she brought his hand to her mouth. She held it to her lips and stroked her tongue across his palm.

"Ji Yue–"

Then she sucked one of his fingers deep into her mouth and heard him groan. And when he pulled his hand back, she pressed it down to stroke across her body. She forced him totouch her breast, her belly and her hip. And then she spread her legs as much as possible in her tight skirt and set his hand to her inner thigh. "I know my heart, Bo Tao." How she loved saying his name. "I love you. I want to be yours."

"And what of the Emperor? You could be Empress."

She could. She might. But that sounded like a life surrounded by a thousand angry scorpions. Even the Emperor's mother—the Imperial Consort—had to make bargains with the head eunuch to do evil things. The concept was hard to grasp in her foggy mind, but she knew the truth clearly.

"I don't want to be Empress anymore. I want you."

He kissed her then. There was a ferocity in his embrace, a hunger that delighted her. She let her head fall back from his shoulder into the cradle of his arm. She let him thrust into her mouth while her breath quickened, and her body trembled. And when his lips went from her mouth to her cheek then down her neck, she knew where he was going. She knew what he would do, and she smiled.

"Yes, oh yes."

He unbuttoned her blouse and pushed the sides away. He feasted on her breasts while lights danced behind her eyes and filtered into her blood. His teeth scraped lightly against her skin, and the delight trembled beneath her skin. He sucked on her nipple and her whole body shimmered.

She ran her hands through his hair, but it was held tight by his queue. She rose up onto her knees so that she faced him, her knees spread wide. Then she reached around to unbind his hair. She wanted it undone, and yet she loved the silky feel of the long braid in her hand.

He turned his head, then tugged off the cord that bound his braid. "I will cut this from my head for you."

She laughed in delight at the ridiculous thought. The long braid was every man's sign of devotion to the Manchu Emperor. It was mandated by law. Only the monks were allowed to shave their head, and even they were held in suspicion because of it. She burrowed her fingers into his hair, spreading it wide as she went.

"I like your hair."

He touched hers equally reverently. "I like yours, too."

She giggled. "Kiss me again."

He did. He plundered her mouth again. Over and over, he thrust his tongue into her, and the feel of it sent her wild with desire. Her skirt restricted her legs, so she lifted it up. She wanted his hands on her there, needed his mouth to do what they had done before in his office.

She reached for his organ and found it quickly. She didn't know when he had loosened his pants, but he had, and she was grateful. She stroked his thick, full length and knew that this was right. This is what a man felt like. He groaned in hunger at her caress, and she thrilled at the dark vibration that traveled from his body into hers.

"Never has a woman done this to me," he said against her neck. His breath was hot as he shifted his hips. Her arms were between them, and she held his wet tip, rolling the moisture around and around with her thumb. Her other arm was free, and she let it flow around his hips and trim buttocks. What muscles he had! She squeezed playfully, laughing when his flesh barely moved.

He was looking at her, his expression fierce. She smiled at him, feeling her love swell for this serious, serious man. "I love how you feel," she said. Then she sobered. "I love you how look at me. No one has ever looked at me like that."

How she wanted him. How she wanted to feel what other women felt, to have him inside her, and to feel his child growing under her heart.

"No one will ever touch me like this but you." She meant more than just the physical caress. More, even, than the way his mere presence set her heart racing. She meant that he touched her spirit and made it soar. Would the Emperor allow her to take notes in a darkened chamber? Would he listen to her words about the Taiping Rebellion?

No. A thousand times no. Only Bo Tao respected her enough to hear her words, to ask for her help, and to trust her with his secrets. That was love, and so she told him.

"You love me, too."

"I want to marry you, Ji Yue. I want you to choose me."

"I do. I choose you." She rose up to kiss him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and plundered him as he had taken her. They were belly to belly, but she felt him between her legs. She knew where his organ was, and she knew what she wanted. Him. And his child.

She sat. It wasn't a conscious decision so much as a need that compelled her. One moment, she was above him, using her arms to support her weight as she kissed him deeply, completely, and as fully as she knew how. The next moment, she let her legs go weak. She dropped down, and he filled her in one beautiful, expansive, amazing moment.

He gasped, his eyes shooting wide. But it was just as quickly followed by a moan of both hunger and fear. "Ji Yue–"

She didn't want him to speak. She didn't want him to ruin this most wonderful moment. She silenced him with another kiss, another exploratory, teasing, fabulous kiss. And as she did, she rose up on her knees just enough to feel him slide nearly out. And then, she gave him a wicked, teasing smile and slid back down.

She saw him swallow and felt his arms tremble. "I love you," he said fiercely. "You are mine."

The next time she rose up, he helped her. And then as she came back down, he matched her movement with a thrust.

He was inside her, thick and large. His face had gone rapturous, and she thought how beautiful he looked. Then they began to move together. She controlled the ebb and flow of their movements. Though he helped, she decided what she wanted. When to lift, when to lower, how fast, how slow. And she found more joy in making his eyes flutter, causing him to groan or gasp, than she did in the feel of him hot and hard inside her.

Until she wanted more. Smooth slide. Hard pressure. He filled her again and her back arched in pleasure. But it was not enough.

He withdrew again, and this time she squeezed because he seemed to like it. Her hands tightened on his shoulder, and her knees gripped his hips. He thrust harder into her, and she laughed because it felt so right. She'd tilted her pelvis down to meet his movement, to feel the slam exactly where it was best. And when he rolled his hips against her, her breath caught on a gasp.

Their eyes locked together. She had no idea this was possible. This wonderful tension, the delight she'd felt before. It was the build to ecstasy that she'd experienced with him before. But the way their eyes locked, the total oneness with him–that was new. That was incredible.

They breathed together. They gasped together. And they built that quivering tension with perfect unity. He thrust, and she soared. He withdrew and she shivered. Higher and higher. Until they touched...

Heaven!

#

"We must go," he whispered against her ear. "Sweet Ji Yue, I am sorry, but we must hurry."

She blinked. Shimmering delight still suffused her body– their bodies–since they were still joined. He gently raised her off of him, and she moaned as he left her. She liked the way he cradled her in his arms. And she loved the fullness of him inside her.

Then she noted the regret in his eyes as he gently set her aside. With faster and faster motions, he pulled off his tunic and undergarment. Then his biceps bulged as he tore a strip from the cotton shirt.

"This was not the way to do this," he murmured. "I would have laid you in silk and covered you in perfumes." He glanced at her, the apology clear in his eyes. "But you are so beautiful, and you took me by surprise. And once done," he dropped a quick kiss on her lips, "I could not stop myself."

He looked lower on her body. With tender movements, he used his torn strip to clean her. And when he lifted it away, she saw the dark stain of blood. Tilting her head, she peered closer. The lantern light was dim, but the truth was horribly clear nevertheless.

"I..." she gasped. "I am..."

He quickly wadded up the cloth and then made to throw it away. But then he stopped and stared down at it. "I need to burn this," he said softly.

"I am not..." she said again, her mind replaying what she had done and said. What had she done? He had felt so wonderful, and she had been swept away on her own fantasy.

"I am sorry, my sweet, but we have to go. The doctor will be here soon."

Ji Yue pulled her legs together and curled her feet beneath her. What had they done? He finished dressing, then he dropped to his knees before her. He held her hands and gazed into her face. She focused on him. She saw the dark center of his eyes and the loving curves of his cheeks. Even the length of his nose was beautiful.

"Listen to me please. I have made reservations for us. There is a boat that will take us away at first light, but we cannot be caught here. Not now..." He glanced ruefully at the blood-stained cloth on the pallet. "I was so afraid for you, Ji Yue. I did not think and then you were here, so willing in my arms. This was not smartly done, but..." He shrugged. "It is done. We must leave."

"I am no longer a virgin!" she gasped. "I have shamed myself and my family!"

He stilled. She did not think he even breathed. She didn't care. She was still reeling from what she only now began to understand.

"You planned this! You have us running away from here! You planned all of this! Even those other men?"

His eyes widened in shock. "Never!"

Of course not. She knew that. Damn, her head was thick. She couldn't think clearly. "You have a boat?"

He nodded. "This is not how I wanted it. I thought to talk to you." He frowned. "We did talk! You chose me!"

"I did," she whispered. "I want you. I love you! But..." A tear fell on her hand, and she realized that she was crying. "My mother will commit suicide in shame!"

His face was pale, his jaw tense. "Ji Yue..." he began, but there were no words. Not now with her heart pounding and her mind reeling.

Then there was a clump outside. Bo Tao could do no more than stand before the door was pushed open and the women's doctor stomped inside. Her gait was weary, and her shoulders sagged, but her gaze was sharp as she looked from Bo Tao to Ji Yue and then to the wadded, bloody cloth. With a grimace, she spun and pushed the door shut. When she turned back to Bo Tao, her mouth was pressed into a thin tight line.

"It was not her fault," he said.

The doctor rolled her eyes. "In China, it is always the woman's fault. And now she will be killed."