Chapter 45 Desiree Dixon

Comfort Food

Asher looks like he’s seen a ghost when I wake up and pad into the living room. He’s sitting on the couch, staring at his phone.

“You okay?” I ask.

He nods as he glances up at me. “Yeah. I, uh, found out some news…” He trails off, leaving it at that.

“Is everything okay?”

He glances back at his phone and then at me again. “I’m not sure.”

“Want to talk about it?” I plop down beside him.

“I do, but not yet. I need to figure out a few things, and I need to head over to see my brother.”

“Okay,” I say instead of voicing the anxieties in my head.

“You can come with. He’s not far from here, and he has the day off.”

“No, it’s fine,” I say softly. “I’m tired anyway. Go see your brother.”

He glances over at Addy, who’s at the counter grading papers, and then he angles his head toward the balcony as if to ask if we can have this conversation in private. I nod and follow him out there.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

He clears his throat. “Long story short, I just talked to my dad and found out I have twin half-brothers none of us ever knew about.”

My jaw drops open. “What?” I breathe.

He nods as he walks over to the railing and looks out over the view. “My dad apparently had an affair thirty years ago, and my twin half-brothers are also pro football players.” He turns back toward me. “They’re phenomenal athletes…I’ve heard of them. I know them. Fuck, I’ve played against them. I’ve met them. I just…” He shakes his head as words fail him.

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

He grips onto his hair with both hands before he lets it go, and it sticks up. “I don’t know. I’m going to start by talking to my brothers and seeing what they want to do, and I guess we’ll devise a plan together.”

“Yes, of course. Go. Be with your brothers, and call me if I can do anything.”

He nods, and then he takes a few steps to close the gap between us. “I’ll never be far, okay?” He drops his lips down to mine, and I feel the familiar warmth and comfort I’ve always felt in his arms. It’s safe here, and I’m protected from the craziness of our lives and the world surrounding us.

“You need to go,” I say.

“I know. But I don’t want to.”

I rise to my tiptoes to press another kiss to his lips. “I’ll be right here.”

His eyes soften, and I know he knows I don’t just mean physically.

At least I hope he knows it.

He leaves, and I walk back into the kitchen to find Addy collecting her papers into a pile. “Done,” she announces proudly.

“Well done.”

“I texted Chloe and Lauren. They’re bringing dinner over. I figured you can tell them if you’re ready, or you don’t have to, but either way, some comfort food sounded good.”

“It does sound good,” I agree. “What are they bringing?”

“Your favorites. Mac and cheese, chicken fingers, and fries.”

My lips tip up into a broad smile. “You three really are the best.”

She shoots me a wink as she slides her papers into her backpack. “Don’t you forget it.”

Chloe and Lauren arrive an hour later, and we sit at our usual spots at the table as we start to dish out the food.

I feel a little better than I have, and maybe it’s because I finally know the reason I’ve been feeling so horribly lately—combined with the two-hour nap and the fact that Asher and I are going to give this another try.

“So what calls for comfort food?” Chloe asks as she digs into her macaroni.

Addy looks at me to take the floor, though I assume she’d take it back and make something up if I needed her to.

These three women are my best friends. We’re the Fearless Four, and if I’m going to live up to that title, I should probably stop living scared and start acting like the badass I know I am.

“Asher and I are back together,” I begin.

Chloe and Lauren both gasp.

“This calls for champagne, not chicken fingers,” Lauren complains, and I laugh.

“Well, I can’t have any for the next seven or eight months,” I say, and I wait for them to piece it together.

They both turn to stare at me.

“Wait a minute,” Chloe says, narrowing her eyes at me before she jumps to any conclusions. “Why not?”

I clear my throat, and silence fills the air as they wait for my announcement. “I’m seven weeks pregnant.”

More gasps fill the air, and then Chloe jumps up and rushes over to hug me. “Oh my God, congratulations!” She turns to Addy. “This is congratulations, right?”

Addy chuckles as she shrugs. “I think so.”

“Yes,” I say. “It’s a surprise, but I’ve had a few hours to get used to the idea, and I can actually see myself doing this.”

“Of course you can do this,” Lauren says, and she rounds the table to give me a warm hug, too. “And then you can tell us all about what it’s like and we can learn the dos and don’ts from you.”

I laugh. “Thanks. Always happy to be the guinea pig.”

“It’s Asher’s?” Lauren asks, and I nod.

“Is it a girl or a boy?” Chloe asks.

“I won’t find out for a while yet,” I say. I read through the paperwork, and it looks like I can do an optional blood test at ten weeks, or more traditionally and more accurately, I can wait for twenty weeks.

“But do you, like, know already? Mother’s instinct?” Lauren presses, leaning in as if she’s asking me to tell a secret.

“First hunch is a girl, but I guess we’ll see.”

“Let’s talk names,” Addy says.

“My vote is for Chloe,” Chloe says, and we all laugh.

“There’s only one Chloe,” I say dryly. “I haven’t thought about names.”

“Yeah, but haven’t you ever picked them out before and held onto them your entire life?” Lauren asks.

My brows dip. “No. Have you?”

She nods, and then she pretends to zip her lips. “But I’m not telling you, or you’ll steal them.”

“I will not!” I promise.

She sighs. “Fine. David if it’s a boy, Isabelle if it’s a girl.”

“I love both, and I promise not to take either,” I say.

“What are you going to do? Live here with Addy?” Chloe asks.

I shrug. “This is all very, very new. I literally heard from Asher this morning, was convinced by Addy to take a pregnancy test, and then he showed up when he heard I wasn’t feeling well and took me to the doctor before he left. It’s been a whirlwind, and I haven’t really thought about what comes next—aside from, you know, food.”

“Then I won’t ask if you think you’ll be moving to Vegas to be closer to your family and the baby daddy,” Lauren says. She grabs another chicken finger out of the box.

In all likelihood, that’s what makes the most sense.

But I’m also dreading the conversation I’ll have to have with my parents. I’ll tell them I’m moving there, and they’ll want to know why I changed my mind, and meanwhile I’ll be growing a baby and unable to hide the bump, and then they’ll want to know who the father is, and I’ll need to admit who it is because we can’t hide out forever, and…

It’s complicated. Asher and I getting back together is complicated enough, but we’re adding a baby into the mix, too.

And I have less than eight months to prepare for an entirely new reality.