Chapter 21 Desiree Dixon

Mansplaining Pro Baseball Teams

I stand in the hallway a little longer, the rejection raw and real as it pulses through me. Disappointment filters in, yet hope still remains.

I want you in a way I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted anyone before.

Those words play on repeat in my head. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over them.

He wants me, and I want him…but we can’t be together.

I should’ve known that’s how he would respond when he found out who I was, and that’s exactly why I didn’t tell him the night we met. These football players form special relationships with their coaches, and while he didn’t know my dad well back at the time of the charity ball, I’m willing to wager he does now.

I’ll find out. I’ll ask questions. I’ll get the inside track from my dad.

I’m not sure if it’ll matter given how adamant he is about the fact that he can’t do this. But he was about to give in. He didn’t forget me. I don’t know that he was as obsessed as I was over the last three months, but the things he said to me tell me he’s fighting a fight with himself over this whole thing.

But it’s a fight he won’t win.

Not when the pull between us is this strong and the temptation is this alluring.

I head out of the hallway and back toward Ellie, who’s talking to a player. I glance over and spot Kaylee, who’s making out with her husband.

I twist my lips as I realize these really aren’t my friends—not yet. Not like the girls back home are.

It doesn’t feel like there’s a place for me here, and as hopeful as I was before I ran into Asher in that little hallway, I’m sort of feeling the opposite now.

Why would I move here when this isn’t the place for me?

“What’s wrong?” a voice beside me asks. I glance over and find Luke Dalton, and I offer a smile.

“Oh, nothing. I don’t really know anybody here.” I shrug.

“Well, then allow me to introduce you.” He starts walking away without another word, and he expects me to follow him. I was using it as my excuse to get the hell out of here, but he’s using it as his reason to keep me here.

We walk up to the table with a bunch of wide receivers and running backs, and Luke slings a friendly arm around my shoulders. “I’d like to introduce Coach Dixon’s daughter, Desi. Desi, this is everyone.” He turns to me. “What are you drinking?”

“Mexican mule.”

“You got it,” he says to me. He pushes the player at the end of the booth to indicate he should scoot in, and then he walks away toward the bar to get me that drink.

I wave awkwardly. “Hi, everyone.”

The woman across the table from me grins. “Welcome to the crazy,” she says. “I’m Victoria, and that’s Tessa.” She points to the woman on the other side of Tristan Higgins, the man next to me. “This is Mandy,” she says, leaning around Travis Woods, who’s sitting beside her, and pointing to the woman between him and Jaxon Bryant. “We like to drink vodka and talk about anything other than football. Specifically spicy books.”

My ears perk up. “Spicy books?”

She nods. “Some call it smut, some call it trash, but it’s neither of those things. We read stories about strong women finding themselves as they find love, and if there happens to be some hot sex in it, well, then our men get the added benefits of that.” She elbows her husband, and I sort of feel like I walked into a conversation they were having before I got here. He grins and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I can’t help but laugh.

“The only people who call it trash are uninformed,” I say. “Are you three in a book club?”

Victoria shakes her head. “No, we just trade the best books back and forth.”

“Who called it trash?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at the men.

“Oh, nobody here. They all know better than that,” she says with a laugh. “I actually own the cutest little bookstore not too far from here, and I heard a customer’s husband say it the other day.” She rolls her eyes. “He also started mansplaining to her about how there isn’t a pro baseball team in the city the book took place in. Like, no shit, dude, it’s freaking fiction .”

“We were literally just talking about that at my book club back in San Diego!” I say. “I meet with my three best friends to talk about whatever book we’re reading, but really it’s an excuse to get together, eat, drink, and gossip.”

Victoria leans forward. “How do I get an invite into this book club?”

I giggle, and we start talking about our favorite authors. Mandy pushes Travis out of the way so she can sit next to Victoria, and Tessa moves over her husband so she can be next to me.

And just like that, it sort of feels like I found some more friends here in Vegas—and maybe even a local book club.

But that’s sort of the problem with making friends with players’ wives. Nobody knows how long a player will stay on a team. Sure, these three have been around a long time, but one bad season, one bad injury, or even one personal moment that tells them it’s time to stop playing, and they’re no longer a part of this family.

It’s such a weird phenomenon. These ladies are clearly all very close, but would they still be if one of their husbands was let out of his contract or traded?

They seem like they would be. But I’m in a different situation than they are. I’m not married to a player. I’m a coach’s daughter, and sometimes being related to a coach isn’t looked at as advantageous. And what’s worse is that my dad is a new coach in town. He walked in, flipped everything upside down, and started training players on his plays, his playbook, when they were used to some other guy’s stuff.

So despite being welcomed into this group tonight, I still have to question whether I’ll be welcome as a permanent member of this group of friends. And even if I am, I’m coming in as not a third wheel, and not even a fourth or fifth…but as a seventh wheel. The numbers don’t work out. I don’t have a significant other for double dates.

All I have is a guy who claims he wants me but tells me he can’t do this before he walks away from me.

The couples start to leave, and I take that as my cue. I bid goodbye to my new friends, which include Ellie and Kaylee, and I grab a Lyft back to my parents’ place.

They’re still awake when I walk in the front door, the two of them sitting on the couch watching a documentary about birds migrating, and I’m not a bird person. In fact, I’m sort of terrified of birds, and seeing them even on the television screen gives me a visceral reaction as I cover my eyes.

“Oh, sorry, honey,” my mom says, and she presses the power button. “They’re off. How was your night out? Did you make some friends? Are you moving here?”

I laugh. “Fun, yes, and no.”

She snaps her finger in disappointment. “Shoot.”

I twist my lips as I slide onto the recliner beside them. “Sorry. I did have fun, though. I made friends with some players’ wives, and they like to read the same kinds of books that I do.”

Truth be told, I’ve never admitted to my father what I read, but my mom definitely knows.

“Nonfiction books about knitting, right?” my dad says, and my mom and I both laugh.

“Right. Exactly,” I confirm as I widen my eyes in horror and shake my head at my mom.

“Just like I read before bed each night.” She winks at me.

“You don’t need to tell me what you read, Mother,” I scold.

She holds up both hands, and my dad wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“I do enjoy the books your mom reads.”

“Oh, God,” I mutter. “These are things I don’t need to know about my parents.”

“Who else was there?” my dad asks, changing the subject with a laugh.

“I mostly sat with Travis Woods, Tristan Higgins, and Jaxon Bryant,” I say.

“Good. All three of them are married, so they’ll stay away.” He grins at me, but there’s a sparkle in his eye that tells me he’s kidding. Kind of. “Who else?”

“Some of the tight ends. I think it was Chase, Justin, and Asher,” I say, careful not to give anything away when I say his name.

“Oh, good. Asher went.”

“Why is that good?” I ask.

“Coach and player confidentiality, but between us, I think he’s just trying extra hard to fix his reputation after his suspension, and I encouraged him to get to know his teammates a little more. Sounds like he’s trying.”

Is that why he was there? Or did he show up because he knew I was going?

I wanted to think it was the second thing, but since he didn’t give me a chance to ask…I’m not sure if I’ll ever really get the answer to that.

But now that I saw him again, and he whispered those words to me, and his mouth was on mine again, I’m more certain than ever that there’s something between us that we can’t ignore.

I just have to figure out how I’m going to get him to give in.