Chapter 18

CHAPTER18

“You ready for this?” Seth whispered in Jacob’s ear.

Jacob chose not to answer as the organ music began and he turned to face the church. He’d dressed for the occasion and there was a carnation in his buttonhole, as per his mother’s request. In the front row, she sat, looking strangely at peace and not fidgeting anywhere near as much as she normally did. He tried to take comfort in her stillness. Perhaps at least, some good would come out of this wedding.

His eyes turned to Emily’s side of the pews where he looked for her family. There were distant relatives and in the front pew sat the Duke of Elbridge. He was staring straight back at Jacob, showing he was keeping an eye on matters.

“If I ran from the church now, do you think the Duke of Elbridge would shoot me for it?” Jacob whispered to Seth beside him.

“Undoubtedly, and as much as the best man is supposed to do anything for the groom, I have no intention of taking that bullet for you.” Seth laughed and elbowed Jacob. “Here she comes.”

Jacob turned his focus to the doors of the chapel. A large number filled the room, surprising for such a rushed event, but many of his friends and family had been eager to come once his mother had revealed the news. Jacob peered over their heads, through fine headdresses and bonnets, and waxed gentlemen’s hair, toward the church doors as they opened.

In the doorway, the Earl of Pratt appeared. On his arm was Emily. She looked down at first, her face barely recognizable through the thick veil she wore, but Jacob would know her anywhere.

His eyes drifted over the beautiful gown, distracted by the golden material that clung to her figure and the lace that overlaid it. On her hands were thin white lace gloves and clasped in one palm she had a small delicate bunch of flowers, filled mostly with yellow roses and blue forget-me-nots.

She would not look at him. On the contrary, Emily stared either at the ground, her flowers, or past him toward the altar.

Jacob’s eyes flitted elsewhere to her bridesmaids behind her, the Duchess of Elbridge and Lady Bridget. Jacob wondered briefly what Lady Bridget would think of him after all of this, considering how they had first met.

I would scarcely blame her for hating me.

As the organ music quietened, the Earl of Pratt stopped in front of Jacob with his daughter. Emily turned to face her father and he lifted the veil over her head, revealing her completely.

Jacob’s eyes were drawn to Emily’s face in such a way that he found it difficult to look elsewhere. Her eyes were bold, perhaps even a little red, and he feared the possibility that she had been crying. Her lips were rouged, just a little, in that tempting way that reminded him of the night they had met and how they had kissed in the darkness. He’d been so drawn to her; he had been unable to resist her completely.

Now, he felt that same pull, that same recoil as he moved toward her, ready to take her from her father’s arm.

The Earl of Pratt passed Emily’s hand into Jacob’s, though he did not look at Jacob nor did he offer words of encouragement or luck. He looked away quickly, making plain what he thought of this situation as a whole.

The entire family must hate me now.

Slowly, Jacob drew Emily’s hand through the crook of his arm and stepped forward, urging her to join him at the altar. She looked at him, at last, those bold eyes unyielding as she stared at him. She attempted the smallest of smiles, yet the skin around her lips twitched with the movement, and it didn’t last.

Jacob couldn’t even return that smile as they halted in front of the vicar and the final music of the organ faded away.

“Dearly beloved,” the priest said as he stepped forward. “We are gathered here today in the sight of God, to join together this man and this woman.”

Jacob grew distracted and looked down at Emily’s hand on his arm as the priest began the opening prayer. What followed for the next few minutes passed quickly for Jacob. He rather thought he didn’t pay attention to most of the words. It felt strange to have reached this moment, to have brought Emily to marry him, after all that had passed between them.

“Jacob Browning, Your Grace, the Duke of Thorne. Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife? To live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?”

Jacob hesitated, not because of the vow he had to make, but because of the wording.

For as long as I shall live.

He swallowed, fearing just how long it could be that this vow lasted between them. If he was as much like his father as his mother feared, then yes, it might not be that long at all.

Emily pulled on his arm, a subtle gesture that he was taking too long to answer.

“I will,” Jacob said solemnly, letting his deep voice echo across the church. To his surprise, he felt Emily breathe out beside him. It struck him that she perhaps feared at this moment he would reject her and refuse to make the vows after all.

I have every intention of keeping these vows.

He would be faithful to her, and he would not pursue any other whilst they were married. He would provide for her too, in every respect of his life. There was one vow that stuck in his throat, however, a word that was difficult to say.

To love her…

He glanced her way as she completed her vows.

“I will,” she said with confidence, staring forward at the vicar and staunchly refusing to look at Jacob once again.

He wondered not for the first time what it was he did feel for Emily, but he did not know. All he knew was that this pull toward her was almost inescapable, and if he was going to protect her, as he had vowed to Seth to do, then he would have to escape it in any way that he could.

“Now, we shall sign the register.” The priest gestured to a small table that had been set up at the side of the church, ready for them to sign the certificate and the register.

Jacob led the way, offering his hand to Emily as he did so. She placed her fingers in his rather woodenly, barely gripping the very end, as if she did not want to touch him at all. At the table, he let her sit first and sign her name, then Jacob took her seat and signed his own name.

Something about seeing their names side by side, in their own hands, solidified exactly what they had done in their own minds. There was no going back now, after all. They were married in the sight of God and the law.

The Duke of Elbridge stepped forward to be one of the witnesses, just as Seth did too. They both signed the witness’ lines on the paper and hovered close to Jacob and Emily’s sides as the congregation sang a hymn from the prayer book.

The whole time, Jacob felt watched by the Duke of Elbridge, fearing that if he put a foot wrong, he would be hurt.

I’m not backing out of this now. I couldn’t!

He intended to uphold that marriage certificate, for as long as it was applicable, for as long as he should live.

* * *

Emily’s breath shuddered as they returned to the altar and stood before the priest. More prayers were said, and another hymn was sung as well, though Emily could not force her lips to mouth the words, let alone sing them aloud.

Her hand on Jacob’s arm became more urgent, pressure he must have been able to feel. For so long she had avoided looking at him in the ceremony, yet now, she wanted something from him. Perhaps a small smile of reassurance, a glimmer of mischief, anything to remind her of the gentleman that she had kissed in a corridor and been so scandalous with in that summer hour outside of the ball.

Yet Jacob didn’t once smile, and that man Emily had mistakenly thought she knew quite well didn’t appear to be here anymore. He was missing.

“Glory be to the Father, the Son and to the Holy Ghost,” the priest said, making the sign of the cross in the air between the two of them. “Amen.” As he bowed his head, the word was repeated around the congregation. The moment it was done, the priest lifted his head again. “May you all welcome me in presenting to you Jacob and Emily Browning, the Duke and Duchess of Thorne.”

Emily flinched, hearing herself being called a duchess. Somewhere in the madness of this turn of events, she had not considered at any point that she was now to be a duchess.

Applause began from the congregation, welcoming them as Jacob slowly turned the pair around so they could face the pews together. The applause grew louder, and Emily turned to her family, hoping to draw solace from her sisters beside her.

Both Rachel and Bridget smiled, rather forcefully, and clapped around the bouquets they carried. Emily couldn’t even manage that forced smile herself, not anymore.

“Kiss! Kiss!” a call went up from the congregation.

Emily’s hand stiffened on Jacob’s arm, fearing this eventuality. She would have rather she and Jacob had been alone for such a thing. Perhaps then they could see what kisses could mean between them again.

Jacob didn’t move toward her, yet the call only grew louder.

“Yes, kiss!”

“Let’s see the happy couple in their union. Where’s the kiss?”

Emily faced Jacob, lowering her voice to a whisper.

“You do not have to.”

“Well, we have done it before, have we not?” He reminded her, turning to face her.

“Do not kiss me like that in public,” she said hastily. For the first time, she saw the trace of a smile on his lips, a humored moment, but it didn’t last long.

Amongst the call for kisses, he leaned toward her, pressing his lips to hers for that kiss. It was chaste, but hardly momentary or fleeting. As Emily’s eyes fluttered closed, she indulged in that kiss, feeling how much he held onto it too.

As the applause grew louder in the church, Emily felt transported back to that moment where they had first kissed in that dark corridor. There was a similar feeling in those kisses, despite the fact that the kisses themselves were entirely different.

When Jacob pulled back, he blinked at her but said nothing. He offered his arm to her once more and escorted her down the aisle. Woodenly, she followed him, glancing back at her sisters to ensure they were trailing behind her.

They hastened down the aisle where people threw flower petals to wish them luck. Outside of the church door, more people from Jacob’s estate, including his staff and tenants, had gathered. They shouted their congratulations to him, including a small group of children that threw so many flowers into the air that they were soon strewn across the ground.

Calmly, Jacob drew her through the crowds. He thanked his staff that had come but made no effort at any point to introduce Emily to those he spoke to. She felt as ornamental as the bouquet in her hands, and less noticed by him than the flowers that were beneath their feet.

As they reached the bottom of the churchyard, the gate was held open for them, and they stepped out toward the open-top phaeton carriage that awaited them. Jacob took her hand and helped her up into the back of the carriage, but he didn’t quite follow her. He turned to have one last word with his staff who had gathered.

“Em? Emily?” Rachel called.

Turning on the coach bench, Emily looked out to the other side of the carriage. Rachel followed her and ran around the coach to speak to her. Reaching up, she placed her hands on the side of the carriage.

“Are you well, Em?” she asked with some amount of desperation in her voice. “You did not smile. Not once.”

“I wonder why,” Emily murmured wryly. “How did you feel on your wedding day?”

Rachel paused and looked down at her hands on the coach. She knew what a rushed marriage was like. She knew better than anyone what Emily had to be feeling.

“The wedding day is not a summary of marriage. Maybe the wedding itself is not joyous, but the marriage can be.” She held open her hand and Emily took it, clinging tightly. “Please, believe me in that. Something good can come from this, I assure you.”

“I know you think that.” Emily glanced away, looking to where Daniel stood on the church path with Bridget beside him. The two were talking in low tones, clearly discussing the event that they had just witnessed.

In particular, Emily’s eyes traced Daniel and she found a new admiration building for him that she had not felt before. He’d done the right thing in marrying Rachel when he did, but there was more to the matter. He’d opened himself up to the idea of marriage completely, so that now he and Rachel were truly happy.

Emily couldn’t quite imagine Jacob making that decision.

“We shall follow you down to the wedding breakfast,” Rachel assured her and released her hand.

“Thank you.” Emily sat back as she felt the carriage jolt, Jacob sitting beside her. He didn’t look at her but stared straight forward. Stiffly, she performed the same action.

As the carriage set off, she forced herself to smile and wave at the children who had gathered, not wanting them to be confused by two very unhappy people who were supposed to have just shared the happiest day of their lives.

As the carriage slipped out of view, Emily’s hand lowered beside her, and she stared at Jacob wondering one thing in particular from the church.

How is it possible he could kiss me like that and yet not mean anything by it?