18. Ayla

Chapter 18

Ayla

I knew what was going on was serious. Usually, I’d ask questions and demand more information in situations where I was left in the dark, but not this time. No, I knew we had to leave North Carolina, and fast.

Before leaving Kat and Jonah’s, I looked up the Deluca name on the internet while I was hidden away in the bathroom. I didn’t want Declan to see what I was doing.

The Delucas were a huge deal in New York. They owned restaurants, hotels, and other businesses. I wanted to find pictures of them to see what they looked like, but I came up empty, which was strange. You’d think there would be some kind of photos somewhere. Also, nothing was mentioned about them being a mafia family, but that was to be expected. I’d seen plenty of mafia movies, and there was one thing I knew for sure . . . I didn’t want to be anywhere near them.

The car ride and even the time on the airplane was spent in silence. I could see the wheels in Declan’s head turning, but I could also feel the tension brewing beneath the surface. It was a mixture of all sorts of emotions, and not good ones. With Vincent Deluca being so close, it had to have rattled him big time.

Did it frighten me? Maybe a little, but I wasn’t scared for myself. I was terrified about what it’d do to Declan. I didn’t want him hiding behind that wall again and shutting me out.

It wasn’t until we got in the car to head home from the airport that Declan finally spoke. His knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” he said, his voice sounding tired. “There’s just so much on my mind and I couldn’t talk to you about any of it with us being around so many people.”

I reached over and took one of his hands off the wheel, entwining my fingers through his. “It’s okay; I understand. I know you can’t talk about certain things in public, especially when they involve the mafia.”

It was still hard to wrap my head around the thought of him being an FBI agent and having that dangerous type of life. He went after people who murdered, raped, and did God knows what.

As I looked at him with all the tension on his face and worry in his eyes, all I could see was a hero. A strong man who wanted to protect the world. How could I not fall in love with someone like that?

We pulled into my driveway and Declan grabbed our bags out of the trunk. My stomach churned with nerves as I watched him. I didn’t like how guarded his eyes were when they met mine.

I keyed in the code to get into my garage, and we went through the kitchen door. Declan set our bags on the floor and walked into the living room, keeping his back to me. He ran his hands over his face and sighed.

“I don’t know how to do this, Ayla.”

“Do what?” I asked, coming up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head against his back.

He placed his hands over mine. “Tell you the truth. ”

My heart stopped and I froze. A part of me didn’t know if I wanted to know. “What truth?”

Declan unlatched my arms so he could face me. “The truth about who I really am.” He tore his eyes away from mine and moved across the room to the fireplace, his focus on the pictures on my mantle. I got the feeling he was too afraid to look at me. “I have to go back to North Carolina, Ayla.”

He was going after Vincent.

Swallowing hard, I took a step toward him. “What are you going to do when you get there?”

A heavy sigh escaped his lips and he turned to face me. “My job. I have to finish what I started. I know he’s hunting me, so I might as well make it easy for him and get this over with. That way, I can move on. I don’t think I’ll be able to until this is done.”

“Are you going to arrest him?” I asked.

All he did was stare at me, the muscles in his jaw clenching. Then, after a few seconds, he peered down at the floor and shook his head. “I’m not going to arrest him, Ayla. I’m going to kill him.”

The breath left my lungs, and all I could do was stand there. Deep down, I knew that was what he was going to do, but hearing it come from his own mouth was a different thing.

“Have you told your other FBI colleagues that you’re going to do this?” I questioned, trying to keep my voice steady.

When his head lifted and his eyes focused on mine, I could see his determination. “They know. I’m meeting one of my fellow agents out there tomorrow.” He stepped toward me until he was so close, but he kept his distance, almost as if he was afraid I’d refuse his touch. “I need you to know what I really am, Ayla. Or, at least, what I used to be. I don’t want to keep this from you anymore, not when I want us to have a future together.”

So many things ran through my head, but they were all jumbled. I couldn’t think of anything that would make me love him less. He kept saying I needed to know what he really was, but that didn’t make sense to me.

“What are you, Declan? Because all I know is that I love you.” I grabbed his wrists and squeezed. “It doesn’t matter what you tell me.”

He shook his head and averted his gaze to my hands clutching his wrists. “You don’t know that.”

“Then just tell me,” I demanded. The suspense was killing me; I had to know.

Declan lifted his head and never once looked away. “I’m an assassin, Ayla. I work for the FBI, but I’m also part of a secret organization called the Circle of Justice. We have a list of criminals who’ve escaped the justice system and we’re the ones who take them out.”

My mouth dropped open in shock.

“An assassin?” I whispered, my mind reeling from the revelation. But as I looked into his eyes, there was a vulnerability that contradicted his lethal profession.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Declan said softly, his voice tinged with regret. “But I needed you to know the truth, Ayla. I couldn’t keep lying to you.”

In all honesty, he hadn’t really lied to me; he just kept it from me.

“Declan,” I whispered, feeling a mix of sadness and admiration stirring within me. To lead that kind of double life, it had to be lonely. Not to mention, it had to take a lot out of you mentally to kill someone, even if they were criminals who deserved it.

He gently pulled his wrists out of my grasp and took my hands. “I understand if this changes everything for you,” he said softly. “But please know that everything I do, I do to make this world a safer place for people like you.”

My heart swelled with conflicted emotions as I struggled to process this new reality. But one thing was clear—no matter what secrets Declan held, I couldn’t deny the connection between us. The truth of his identity added another layer to our relationship, but it didn’t erase the moments we had shared, the laughter, the warmth that passed between us.

I could see the weight he carried on his shoulders, the burden of his actions etched in the lines of his face. And yet, there was a fierce determination in his eyes, a resolve that spoke of a deeper purpose that drove him.

Taking a deep breath, I met his gaze and squeezed his hands in reassurance. “Declan, this changes things, yes. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re still the same man I fell in love with.”

His eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise passing through them before a wave of relief washed over his features.

“You’re not afraid of me?”

A small chuckle escaped my lips, and I kissed him, letting my lips linger on his for a few extra seconds. “Never. I’m just glad you told me. I don’t want there to be secrets between us.”

He shook his head. “Neither do I. This has been killing me for a while now. It’s just . . .” He paused and blew out a breath. “My brother was in love with a woman once and when he told her the truth, she couldn’t handle it. I was so afraid that if I told you, you’d run away from me.”

Tears burned my eyes. “You’re trying to make the world a better place, Declan. Sometimes that requires extreme measures. I’m not going to judge you for that.”

I tried to hold back the tears, but they fell down my face. Declan wiped them away with the pads of his thumbs. “I don’t want to leave you, but I have to do this.”

“I know,” I said, leaning into his touch. “Go and don’t worry about me. I go back to work tomorrow. You just need to stay safe and do what you have to do. I’ll be here waiting for you to get back.”

Relief passed across his face. “This will be my last mission, Ayla. When I get back, I’ll get a job at the PD or something. Maybe Jack and I could become friends. I’m going to need some if I plan on staying in Magnolia Grove.”

I smiled through my tears. “I think that would be amazing. Jack’s a good guy; he’ll make a good friend.”

Declan pulled me into his arms, resting his forehead on mine. “Things will be different when I get back. I will be different. I’m ready to move on. I can’t do that if Deluca is hunting me. It all needs to end.”

“I understand,” I murmured, feeling my chest tighten. All I wanted was for him to stay safe and finish his mission.

“I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”

Cupping his face, I stared right into his steely blue eyes. “It doesn’t matter. All I want is for you to come back.”

His lips pressed against mine. “Nothing will ever keep me away from you.” Then, he kissed me one last time. “I have to go.”

And with those final words, he turned away from me and left.