Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I ’m standing in my apartment. Boxes surround me. Lucy is in my bedroom packing my wardrobe. Xavier is in the kitchen packing the cabinets. I’m not really sure why though. His place is full of every high-end appliance you could imagine. I highly doubt my Walmart blender will fit in with the aesthetic of his kitchen.

The living room is almost done. I didn’t have much in here to begin with, a few knickknacks and photo frames. I walk into the room I’ve had shut for the past six months. This is the part I’ve been dreading.

My mum’s room. I sit on her bed and close my eyes. I can still smell her in here. Her perfume. We spent so many of her last days in this very spot. I don’t even know where to start, or what I’m going to do with everything of hers.

I don’t know if I can do this. How do I let go?

Lucy appears, and as if she somehow sensed I needed her, she squats in front of me. “Oh, Shar,” she says, wrapping her arms around me tight. Her hand soothes over my hair.

“I’m sorry. I just… I don’t… I don’t think I can do this. How am I meant to do this, Lu?” I sob. I can’t control the tears. I can’t stop them.

“It’s okay, Shar. You don’t have to do this room yet. You can leave it all here just like it is. Come back to it later.”

“I’m doing the right thing, aren’t I? Moving in with Xavier?”

“Shar, you already live there. You sleep there every night. Tell me, when was the last time you stayed here?”

“A while ago.”

“Exactly, you’ve just been storing your stuff here,” she says. “Do you love him? My brother?”

“More than anything,” I answer.

“Well, obvs not more than me, but we don’t have to tell him that. It’ll just hurt his ego.” She laughs, and I can’t help but laugh a little with her. “I can do this for you, if you want,” she offers, looking around the small space.

“No, I need to do this. I just… I thought I was ready, you know? I didn’t know it would still hurt this much.”

“Shar, I don’t think it’s ever going to stop hurting. But I’ll be here whenever you need me. Always,” she says.

“Thank you. I love you, LuLu.” I hug her, kiss her cheek, and release her.

“All right, some grumpy old asshole is waiting for his turn,” she says, nodding to the door. I turn and see Xavier standing there with his hands in his pockets, his shoulder leaning against the frame. He doesn’t say anything, just keeps his eyes fixed on me. When Lucy passes him, he walks into the room and over to my mum’s dresser. Picking up a porcelain figurine of a little girl, he rolls it over in his hand.

“Tell me about this,” he says.

I smile. “My mum saw it at a flea market. She was so excited when she came home with it that day, said it reminded her of me. That she was certain I was made from the same mould.” I laugh.

“It does have an uncanny resemblance to you.” He places the figurine back on the dresser and picks up a framed photo of my mum and me. “When was this taken?” he asks.

“I was eight. My mum couldn’t really afford a birthday gift for me that year, so she made me that dress from some clothes I’d outgrown. She called it a memory dress because each patch held a different memory. I loved it, wore it practically every day until it didn’t fit anymore,” I tell him. The story has me smiling.

“She sounds like an amazing mother. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet her,” he says.

“She would have loved you. Well, she would have loved your pretty face.” I grin.

“How about we call it a day? I don’t know about you, but I’m starved. We should bring these two things. They’ll look great on the mantelpiece in the living room.”

I jump up, wrap my arms around him, and bury my face in his chest. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“For what?”

“For everything, for being you.”

He rubs a hand over my back and kisses the top of my head. “I love you, Shardonnay. It fucking hurts my heart to see you hurting, babe.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I just hold on to him tighter. After a few minutes, I look up at him. “Let’s go home.”

I’ve been racking my mind for a way to help Xavier. He’s always doing so much for me. I don’t think I could dream up a more attentive boyfriend if I tried. He really is taking the whole role seriously. I’ve come up with a plan, but I need Lucy’s help, and I need to get Xavier to actually let me out of his sight.

We’re sitting around the dining table. I made Lucy come back to Xavier’s place when we left my apartment. After she spent the morning helping me pack, the least I could do was feed the girl lunch.

“I’ll be back. Gotta pee,” I say, walking into the bathroom. I pull out my phone and text Lucy.

Me:

I need to escape. We need to get out of this apartment without Xavier being suspicious.

I wait for her reply, which doesn’t take long.

LuLu:

Why?

Me:

I have a plan. I’ll fill you in once we’re out of here.

LuLu:

Okay, operation escape X is on.

I smile. Lucy has a fantasy about becoming a secret assassin. The only problem with that plan is she gets squeamish at the sight of blood and the girl couldn’t hurt a fly.

Walking back out to the dining table, I reclaim my seat. “You okay?” Xavier asks.

“Yep, everyone pees, Xavier. It’s very normal.” I roll my eyes. He grabs my hand and pulls it up to his lips, placing kisses on each of my knuckles.

“Okay, ew. Shar, I need you for the afternoon. We’re going shopping,” Lucy says, standing from her chair.

“I need her more,” Xavier grunts.

“What are you shopping for?” I ask, going along with our cover story.

“I need new shoes. Come on,” she says, her bottom lip protruding in the perfect pout. “It’s been too long since we’ve gone shopping.”

“Okay, I’ll come,” I tell her. Turning to Xavier, I lean in and place a quick peck on his mouth, because if I let myself get too lost in his kiss, I won’t be going anywhere. “Will you be okay here by yourself?”

“ I’ll be fine. My cock, however, misses you already,” he says into my ear, so only I can hear him.

“Okay, well, I won’t be long.”

I’m about to walk away when Xavier grabs my hand. “Hold up,” he says and stands. He takes his wallet out of his back pocket and removes a black card before presenting it to me. “Take this.”

I look from him to the card. Anger heating my cheeks. I know he means well, but there is no way in hell I’m taking that card. “We’ll talk about this later. When I get home,” I tell him. And walk out of the room, to the elevator, and press the call button. Why do these things take so long? It’s nearly impossible to make a quick escape.

“Shardonnay, stop, wait.” Xavier comes chasing after me.

I spin to face him, my hands landing on my hips. “No, you stop. I told you I’m not your freaking charity case, Xavier. I don’t want or need your money. If I want to buy something, I’ll buy it my damn self.”

“You’re right. You’re not my fucking charity case. You’re my girlfriend, my live-in spouse. It’s not my money anymore, Shardonnay. It’s ours ,” he growls out.

“I’ll take it. Thanks, bro!” Lucy says, snatching the card out of Xavier’s outstretched hand right before she shoves me into the elevator. The doors close and I sigh in relief. “You do know you’re going to have to get over your little money hang-up if you’re going to spend the rest of your life with that man.”

“I don’t want his money, Lucy,” I say, leaning against the mirrored wall.

“I know that. He knows that. But that’s not going to stop him from wanting to take care of everything financially. He can afford it, trust me. You could go swipe this card at Bugatti and it wouldn’t even make a dent,” she says before adding, “Oh, can we do that, please? It’ll be so fun.”

I look at her like she’s grown two heads. “No. Absolutely not.”