Chapter 5

chapter five

At first, nothing happened. Of course it didn’t. I was displayed like a lab specimen in an experiment, spotlight included. With my eyes closed, I became aware of the low hum of the recording equipment in the room, the flow of air from an atmosphere purifier, and the way my shaky breaths sounded in my head.

I tried to calm myself, taking a deep breath in through my nose, then exhaling through my mouth. It didn’t really help. My fingers shifted on the chair arms, the leather squeaking. I inhaled again, forcing my shoulders down into the chair, embracing the fact I needed to chill out if I actually wanted to fall asleep.

What should I dream about?

As soon as I had the thought, the dark behind my eyelids deepened. The subtle noises around me faded away. A strange sensation tugged at my nape and fingertips. The chair beneath me disappeared in a swooping motion. I opened my eyes.

My surroundings passed by me in a blur, like I was in a worm hole, or blasting through space in a pod with an invisible hull. Colors and stars swirled. I caught snippets of images—people, settings, objects—and when I concentrated, those images became clearer.

I rode a rainbow unicorn through a field of blue sunflowers.

I stood atop a mountain, clouds twirling around my feet.

I waited at the starting line of a space race in my very own cruiser.

I shot beyond Earth’s solar system in the interstellar tour space transport.

Jordan and I floated in bright green water along with the rest of the tour group. That had been our first stop, the one with the porpoise-like creatures who tickled our toes.

My chest panged painfully at how content and happy I’d felt right then. I moved on.

Jordan eating breakfast at the dining table.

I almost passed the moment to the next one, when I forced myself to back up and keep hold. This wasn’t a dream, it was a memory.

My feet settled onto hard ground. I was home. On Earth. Six months in the past.

I’d never remembered my dreams looking or feeling so real before, but this apartment appeared almost exactly as we’d left it a month ago to take our interstellar journey, complete with dirty dishes stacked beside the sink, the half-folded laundry from a basket spread across the sofa, and Jordan drinking coffee while reading the morning media reports off his tablet at our little eat-in table.

Someone burst through our front door, making me jump backward. My spine hit a hard object that shouldn’t be there, and I spun around. Khor Drath stood behind me, his skin tones colorful, matching the load of clothes strewn across the surface of the sofa in yellows, greens, and bright blue. My heart jumped into my throat.

“What are you doing here?” I panted, shocked by his close proximity in my memory.

Loud excitement on the other side of the room smothered the question. I spun back to the scene. The person who had burst through the door was me. The old me. And I held the interstellar tours poster in my hand, the one I’d ripped off the train station wall. I shook it in Jordan’s face.

“We need to do this! It’ll be amazing!” I’d thought the trip would give us a change in focus, take us away from the day-to-day drudgery that had become our lives.

Jordan looked up from his tablet slowly, measured, like I’d inconvenienced him with my presence.

I didn’t need to listen to this conversation, I’d lived it, but watching the scene from this angle, I saw the grimace cross his face. He hadn’t wanted to go. He barely paid attention while I told him all the reasons we should do it. How come I’d never noticed this before? That he didn’t care what I cared about? That no excitement remained between us?

I fisted my hands, angry at myself and him. I’d blindly remained in a relationship which only survived on a thread of the status quo.

“You don’t need to be here.” Khor Drath’s voice had the same effect on my body as it did in real life, the deep of it resonating low in my stomach to spread downwards between my legs.

His statement pushed me onward, past my memories and to things I no longer recognized, worlds I would never have been able to dream up on my own. Yellow skies. Purple water. Blue fire erupting from the ground to turn into mist. A fleet of ships. Laser fire. A battle where one faction resembled Khor Drath.

I stopped and held onto the vision.

Bright sunlight from dual suns stabbed towards me. I squinted against the glare, shielding my eyes with my hand. I stood in a field, in some plant like clover, but the foliage blazed neon pink against navy blue undergrowth.

This felt like a memory too. But not my memory.

Hundreds of aircraft blotted the sky. No, not aircraft, warships. They descended through the atmosphere, hulls bright red where they broke through the stratosphere. The ones closer to the surface glinted a deep purple color, almost black.

The closer they came, the more shadows cloaked everything. The hum of the engines mutated into a deafening rumble. I covered my ears. Some of the ships landed in the distance, in front of a yellow and white forest. Others flew overhead continuing toward a massive opposing army. More hovered right above me.

Boom. Something exploded. I turned in time to see a pulse shot from one of the ships to the army below. Shielding shimmered over the group and they remained unharmed.

Tethers dropped from the hovering ships above. My breath caught as I watched warriors spin down those tethers with unfathomable ease. They hit the ground. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Their skin twisted with colors of pink, dark blue, and black. All sorts of gleaming weapons covered the bare skin of their bodies.

I kicked myself for not asking more questions when Sawarstians came up in past conversations, but rifled through what I’d heard.

It was said their mere presence won the war.

That they shared some sort of telepathic hive mind when in close proximity.

That they chose their battles based on ethics, not by the amount of money promised.

That they lived hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

And when not at war, they searched for their fated mates.

One of the Sawarstians landed right in front of me, then strode forward. I gasped as he walked right through me.

Oh, right. I was dreaming. I’d forgotten because everything felt so real.

Then I spotted Khor Drath. Except it wasn’t the Khor Drath I’d met at his lab. This Khor Drath wore the same dark burgundy pants as his fellow warriors, numerous deadly weapons strapped to his body, blades and blasters alike. I swallowed the sudden moisture in my mouth. He shouted to the heavens amid the warriors, then surged ahead.

Dear. Fucking. God.

I couldn’t move, though somehow kept sight of him as he cut a path through his enemy. One hand held a blade that slashed and stabbed, the other a pulse gun that leveled those who dared step in his way. Blood sprayed everywhere.

All saliva dried in my mouth as I stood frozen in both horror and awe. Why was I dreaming this? How was I watching this? Was it real? In my wildest dreams I didn’t think I could have come up with something like this. My dreams last night had consisted of me trying to push Jordan and his new girlfriend out a malfunctioning airlock.

“Battle dreams are a dime a dozen.”

I jumped at the nearness of Khor Drath’s voice behind me, so close his breath grazed against my ear. The heat of his body warmed my spine.

“What are you doing here?” I knew with my whole being the Khor Drath at my back wasn’t the same as the Khor Drath caught in the scene.

“This is your dream.” His voice rumbled through my spine as surly as the weapons fire made me flinch. “Ask yourself that question.”

The battle thundered too loudly for me to think.

“Better to take yourself somewhere familiar. You can go wherever you want to.” His eyes burned bright, centered entirely on me when I peered at him over my shoulder. “The possibilities are endless.”

I closed my eyes and focused on what I loved most in the world. For long moments, the blood and gore played behind my eyelids in a kaleidoscope of pink, blue, yellow, and red.

Then the battle cries around me faded.