Chapter 5

Almost three months had passed since Niccolò had kissed me, and I still couldn't get him out of my head, no matter how hard I'd tried. I'd been on several dates with girls, I'd thrown myself into football and my uni work, and I'd continued my bi exploration through the internet. What was it about him? Maybe it was that he was so different to anyone else I'd ever met, and all I knew was that I couldn't stop thinking about him. He tempted me like no one else ever had.

Seated on my bed with the door locked so no one could disturb me, my finger hovered over the "subscribe" button. Fuck. Was I really going to do this?

It had taken me almost the full three months to crack and look up Niccolò's FanBoyzOnly account. It had been easy enough to find, with the links from his social media profiles, but I'd resisted the temptation…until now.

Fuck it. I'd have a look.

There was nothing wrong with just a look, was there?

Lying back on my bed, I filled in my details, and then there he was. Niccolò Rossi, or as he was known as on his @nicorossx profile, Nico Ross. Performing arts student and adult content creator, with a profile packed full of sexually suggestive images that made my dick hard. Instantly.

I groaned out loud, my hand going to the tent in my sweatpants, rubbing over the head of my dick as I scrolled through the pictures. It looked like I had to pay extra to view any images of him fully nude or posing with other guys, and even more for videos, but fucking hell, he was so sexy in every single one of the images on display, I wasn't sure I could handle seeing even more of him without coming in my fucking underwear like a teenager.

Yanking my sweatpants and boxers down, I fisted my cock, clicking on one of the images to enlarge it to fill my screen. Niccolò was standing facing the wall, his hands planted on the surface and his back arched. His face was half turned to the camera, in shadow, with just a glimpse of a little smile curving over his lips.

Lips I'd kissed. Lips I wanted to kiss again, now I was finally being honest with myself after three months of living in the land of denial.

My gaze trailed down the smooth, graceful lines of his body to his delicious-looking ass. I groaned, my dick leaking precum as I stroked up and down my length, imagining sliding it between those perfect ass cheeks and inside him. How would he feel? Would he moan for me? Would he let me fuck him hard and fast, or take it slow?

My orgasm came out of nowhere, my cock pulsing in my grip as cum shot over my abs. Panting, I dropped the phone to the bed, loosening my hold on my softening erection.

Fuck.

I scrubbed my hand across my face as I fumbled for tissues to clean up the mess all over my stomach. This wasn't going away, was it? No doubt, Niccolò would've forgotten all about me by now, but for me, there was no forgetting. Believe me, I'd tried for three fucking months. Nothing worked.

The problem was, I didn't really have anyone I could talk to about this kind of thing. I knew a few of the guys on the football team were something other than straight, but I didn't know any of them well enough to talk to about anything serious.

At a loss, I showered and threw on joggers and a grey LSU hoodie, and after grabbing my keys and phone, let myself out of my halls of residence building, and headed in the direction of the student union.Hopefully, it would distract me from my thoughts.

At the bar, I ordered a pint of Doom Bar and then made my way over to the retro game machines, for lack of anything else to do. As I neared the machines, I noticed Ander playing a fruit machine at the end of the row, with Liam next to him, leaning against the wall behind his boyfriend, Noah. His arms were wrapped around Noah's waist, his chin hooked over his shoulder, as the two of them laughed at something Ander was saying.

Engrossed in their conversation and whatever was happening with the machine, they hadn't noticed me. I gulped down half of my pint and then forced myself to move. When I drew closer, Liam's head shot up, his gaze flying to mine. He took me in, giving me a genuine smile, cocking his head in an invitation. Returning his smile, I came to a stop in front of the three of them. They welcomed me, exchanging greetings and small talk about the team and our courses, and I began to relax. By the time I'd drained the final dregs of my pint, I was in a much better mood than I had been earlier.

"Want another? I'll get a round in." I tapped the side of my empty glass.

Noah glanced at his watch. "Shit! I'm supposed to be meeting Elliot and the rest of the running club in five minutes for our social thing." Downing the remains of his drink, he slammed the glass down on the high table we'd clustered around, before hopping off his stool. "Thanks for the offer. I'll take you up on it next time."

"Deal." I smiled at him.

Liam caught his wrist, tugging Noah into him. "I'll see you back at home later. Have fun, yeah?" He kissed him softly, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, uncaring of the fact that I was staring at them both. Something inside me flipped or jumped—it was a feeling I couldn't even begin to explain.

I had no idea what expression was on my face, but Ander leaned into me, speaking in a low voice. "Is it…uh, does it make you uncomfortable?"

My head snapped around, my eyes taking in his wary expression. I shook my head violently. "No. Fuck, no. I have no problem at all." Stopping to think about it for a second, I shook my head again. "It's not…I guess I never really had any gay friends growing up, so I haven't really been around, um, people that aren't straight—as far as I know, at least—but why should it be any different to Liam kissing a girl, y'know? That's not the point. It's…" I trailed off, burying my face in my arms with a groan. "I haven't had enough alcohol for this conversation."

There was a scraping sound, and when I lifted my head again, in front of me was a fresh pint, a shot glass brimming with a clear liquid, and two of my teammates who were looking at me with identical expressions on their faces—still wary, but intrigued.

"Drink up, and then you can tell us what's going on." Ander flashed me a grin, lifting his shot glass.

I nodded in acknowledgement and drank.

After the first shot, Ander decided we should have another. When we'd downed those, while I tried not to grimace at the burn of the alcohol, we moved on to our pints. As I lifted the glass to my lips, Ander spoke up again.

"Want to talk about it?"

Fuck it. What was the worst that could happen? Pushing past the embarrassment of confiding in two people I didn't know particularly well, I said, "I subscribed to someone's FanBoyzOnly account, and I uh, did stuff while I was looking at their pictures."

Liam choked on his pint as Ander's face lit up in a huge, evil grin, his eyes widening as he leaned across the table. While Liam recovered from his coughing fit, I raised my brows at Ander's obvious glee.

He cleared his throat, still grinning. "Sorry, but I wasn't expecting you to say that. FanBoyzOnly. That's gay content, isn't it?"

I gave him a short nod.

"Ahhh, now I see what the problem with Liam and Noah kissing was. Another poor, confused, not-so-straight LSU football player. Welcome to the club. So far, the members are me, Liam, and Levi. It's very exclusive."

"Huh?" I stared between them, watching as they both smirked at me.

Liam shot Ander a sideways glance. "I thought I was straight until I met Noah.Levi…I dunno what happened exactly, but him and his boyfriend both thought they were straight before they got together. They were rival team captains as well—fuck knows how they even got past their differences, let alone have a relationship. Although, I guess me and Noah started off on the wrong foot, too. And then we have Ander, who was too dense to realise that his best friend was the love of his life."

"Fuck off! I was not." Ander paused. "Okay, I was, a bit. Whatever, the point is, we thought we were straight, until we weren't. How did it happen for you?"

"Uhhh…" Fuck, I could feel my cheeks getting hot. I gulped down more of my pint. "I'm not sure. I always wondered about it a bit. I watched some solo guy porn every now and then and I could get off to it or whatever. But I never really had any inclination to take it any further."

"FanBoyzOnly isn't taking it much further. Unless—" Ander's eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. "Fuck me! It's JJ's friend, isn't it? Niccolò?"

I buried my head in my arms again. "How did you know?"

He laughed. "Lucky guess. Nah, maybe because I was there at Revolve when he was all over you? And then he came to our football match, didn't he? There was a vibe between you two."

"Yeah, well, I haven't seen him since then. We kissed after the match and that was it. Nothing since then, and that was months ago."

"But he's been in your head, otherwise you wouldn't have subscribed to his account," Liam interjected.

"I don't know what it is," I admitted. "He's nothing like anyone I've ever met. He's… Fuck, look at him." Thrusting my phone out, still open to Nic's FBO page, I closed my eyes.

"Uh, we don't need to see his nudes— Whoa, wait. Is that an LSU football hoodie?"

I snatched the phone back, ignoring Ander's shocked exclamation. My eyes scanned the image, catching on something in the corner. I hadn't noticed it before, too busy looking at Niccolò, but now, as I zoomed in, I saw it.

Someone who wasn't familiar with LSU or the team would never have noticed it. But the way the sky-blue fabric was folded, I could see a small section of the LSU wording on the front, and an ‘R' on the back.

It was my hoodie.

The one I'd let him wear that day. The day we'd kissed.