Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

Zoey

WAKING UP, MY body is filled with nothing but pain. Every single inch of me hurts and feels as if I’m on fire. Tears fill my eyes as I try to figure out what all has been done to me to cause this much pain. Yes, I know this stupid fucker beat the hell out of me. Honestly, he surprised the fuck out of me with how much strength he had behind his hits and kicks. Knowing he was high out of his mind, I didn’t believe he’d have the strength to put me in this much pain. I won’t underestimate him that way again. Maybe whatever drugs he’s doing amplifies his strength instead of eliminating it. I want to fucking gut him for the pain I’m in. But, right now, I’m in no position to do much of anything. I can’t even take a full breath without wanting to break completely down.

Since I’m still not chained to the bed or anything, I carefully sit up and try to take stock of all the injuries on my body. I can see bruises covering my torso, especially my ribs on the left side of my body. One bruise goes across my chest from the seatbelt too. My hands have a few small cuts on them from when I attacked the asshole with the knife. Somehow I managed to catch myself with the blade. I didn’t even notice that shit when it happened. None of that shit is what has me starting to freak out though. When I look between my legs, I see that I’m bleeding. It doesn’t appear to be a ton of blood, but it’s still there. My heart fucking shatters in my chest as I lay back down on the mattress and curl in on myself. I’m losing our babies. I didn’t protect them as I should and now I’m going to lose our babies. Jameson is going to hate me. I hate myself.

I get lost in my head as I place my hands on my stomach and think of everything I wanted to do with our babies as they grew up. If there’s one thing I’ve always wanted in life, it’s to be a mom. When I was younger, I dreamed of having a large family of my own with Jameson. He was the only one I’ve ever wanted to have kids with. Now, it wasn’t going to be just a dream I had when I was younger, it was going to be our reality. Until now. This is when I lose everything I love and want. Not only does my heart shatter, but my soul feels as if it’s being ripped from my body with the knowledge that we won’t ever be able to hold our little ones. They’ll be up in Heaven with Ma and everyone else we’ve lost over the years.

“No!” I cry out as the blood continues to seep out of me. “This can’t be happening.”

Tears roll down my face and fall to the mattress beneath me. At this point, I don’t even care what happens to me because without my babies, my life doesn’t mean a fucking thing. I had one job for the next several months and I couldn’t even do it. I don’t do anything to stop the tears from falling as the pain continues to fill every single part of me. Not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain too.

“No. No. No,” I chant, the only thing I can do as I curl up even tighter on myself.

Wrapping my arms around my body, I ignore the pain while pulling up my legs. My ass is pushed out as I hold myself. I’d say I’m trying to hold myself together, but that’s not the case. I don’t deserve to be whole after this. My voice doesn’t even sound like mine as I continue my chant. This can’t be happening to us right now. No, it’s not happening to me because I’m not the only parent these babies have. Jameson is also their parent. Now, we’re not going to be able to do everything we’ve talked about over the last few weeks with them. We’ll never get to hold them, see how adorable they are, or teach them how to be the best version of themselves. They’ll never feel the love we have for them and I won’t get to watch Jameson be the best father anyone has ever seen. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll make an amazing dad to any children he has.

I want to call out to get help, but I know the cop won’t do a fucking thing to help me. If anything, he’ll sit back and laugh that I’m losing my babies. My need for Jameson fills me as I try to figure out how to get the fuck out of this room so I can get to a hospital and get help. Maybe if I get there soon enough, they can do something to help us keep our babies. My head is spiraling out of control right now. I can’t focus on a single thought as hard, loud, gasping sobs are ripped from me. The noise is haunting as pained sobs leave me. They echo off the walls of the room I’m in and come back to me sounding even more distorted than when they leave my mouth. Closing my eyes, I try to focus on one thought or feeling to no avail. I’m nothing but a mess that’s losing control every second I have to dwell on the pain filling me.

I’m so lost in my grief that I don’t even realize the stupid fucker who caused this enters the room. I can’t see or hear anything as I sink further down into myself. It’s not until he reaches out for me that I snap and lose what little control I had on myself. The knife I used on him the last time is right next to me and I grab it and lash out at the fucker. I don’t hit him this time as he practically jumps back to get away from the blade. My gaze is unfocused and I realize that I’m not able to defend myself from him today. There’s nothing left in me to care about keeping this man away from me. He’s already taken everything I hold dear to me. All because he’s an obsessed fuck who doesn’t want to go out and get a woman of his own the normal way. He wants to beat and rape the women he becomes obsessed with because he’s such a vile person.

“I love it when you cry for me. Your tears make me hard as fuck,” he says, reaching out and running his hand down my side and I do nothing to stop him.

It’s not until he reaches out and grabs onto my breast that I finally snap again and attack the fucker. He growls out in pain when I land a few hits with the knife in my hand. I don’t know how much damage I’m actually doing to him and I don’t give a fuck. Right now, I just want to keep him away from me because if he actually rapes me, I don’t know that I’ll ever come back from this. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that my family will come get me the second they know where I am. I just have to remind myself that they’ll be here and I just have to hang in until then. Even if it’s the last thing I want to do. I want to get lost in the grief filling me because that’s all I can seem to focus on and hold close to me right now.

“Bitch!” he screams out when I land a particular hit to his gut.

I’m not sure how bad the wound I inflict is, and I don’t care. The only thing I care about is making sure he doesn’t get his hands on me with his micro penis. He stumbles back and falls to the floor when I slash out to land another hit against him. My entire body is shaking and rebelling against my movements. I don’t attempt to look between my legs again to see if I’m bleeding any more than when I first noticed it. That’s the one thing I’m not going to look at because it makes the situation even more real than it currently is.

“I’m going to fucking kill you when I get off this floor!” Wheeler fucking yells at me, his voice echoing off the walls as he tries to push himself up to no avail. He slumps back against the nasty carpet and closes his eyes.

“Y-Y-You w-w-won’t t-t-touch me,” I stammer out, my voice feeble and broken as I continue to cry and sob.

Before he can utter a word in response, there’s a loud smashing sound coming from other parts of the building I’m in. I’d say it’s a house, but I can’t be sure since I’ve only been in this room and haven’t seen anything else outside of these walls. I strain to listen for any other sounds and it doesn’t take long to hear booted feet thundering through the house. Hope fills me that it’s my family here to save me. However, I beat that shit down because I don’t deserve to feel hope. My hope disappeared the second I looked down and found myself bleeding. I’m slowly becoming a shell of myself and everyone is going to see it the second they enter this room.

It feels like forever passes before the doorway of the room I’m in is filled with Jameson, Grim, my dad, and my uncle G. Jameson’s eyes immediately find me on the bed as they harden while he takes in every single inch of my body until he sees the blood between my legs. I watch as his features close off and the rage he’s been feeling explodes from him. He races to the stupid fucker on the floor and pulls out a knife I’ve never seen him use before. Not that that’s surprising since I’ve hardly seen him over the last few years. Jameson reaches down and yanks the fucker’s head off the ground and looks him in the eyes.

“You fucked with the wrong girl. I told you if you fuckin’ touched her again that I’d gut you where you stand. Did you think I was fuckin’ lyin’? I’m not. You not only took my kitten from me, but you killed our babies. She’s fuckin’ bleedin’ and that’s on your fuckin’ ass!” he yells in the asshole’s face as pure rage fills him.

No one moves as Jameson lifts his knife and brings it down repeatedly into the gut of the fucker who has taken so much from us. In a matter of seconds, Jameson absolutely loses himself as he continues to gut the fucker under his body. It all happens so fast the cop can’t even protect himself or try to get away from the blade of the knife.

“Savage, that’s enough,” my dad says, his voice filling the room as he places his hand on Jameson’s shoulder to bring him back to us. “Zoey needs you. Get her the fuck out of here while we deal with what’s left of this piece of shit. Our girl doesn’t need to see this shit and she needs to be at the fuckin’ hospital.”

Jameson jumps off the floor and drops his knife next to the cop’s prone body. He rushes to my side and stops himself from touching me. His anguished gaze roams over every single inch of my body while avoiding where I’m bleeding. I don’t move as he slides his cut from his shoulders and rests it in his lap. Jameson removes his shirt from his body and carefully maneuvers me so it’s covering my body.

“I’m sorry, kitten. This is gonna hurt, but I’ll be as careful as I can be,” he says, tears filling his eyes as he stands next to me on the bed and lifts me into his arms.

“Argh!” I scream out, making every man in the room with us come to a standstill as my dad looks at me with pain filled eyes.

My dad stands and rushes to my side. He walks next to Jameson as they remove me from the room I’ve been held in. The men throughout the house, which I now see is a house, stand to the side and let us pass. Everyone is quiet and still as they watch us leave my own personal prison in hell. I’ve known most of these men my entire life and I’ve never seen them filled with so much anger and despair. They know I’ve been hurt and that there’s nothing they can do to take away the demons now filling my mind. They can’t do anything to bring our babies back to us. I look up into Jameson’s eyes as he carries me out into the bright sunlight. Tears are silently falling down his face as he finally looks down at me.

“I’m sorry, Jameson. So sorry. I didn’t protect them the way I should have,” I cry, putting my head in his chest so I don’t have to see the anger he feels toward me.

“Kitten, you didn’t do anythin’ wrong. You did everythin’ you could in there with a fuckin’ madman and this isn’t your fault. This is the fault of the stupid fucker who took you and hurt you. Right now, we’re gonna get you to the hospital and find out exactly what’s goin’ on. Tank, call Dr. Morris to meet us there please. I don’t want anyone else lookin’ at Zoey but her,” he says as I keep my head buried in his chest.

“I’m drivin’,” Cage states, his voice washing over me as more tears spill from my eyes and land on Jameson’s naked chest.

I don’t know who has his cut, but he didn’t put it back on his body once he put his tee-shirt over my head. He’s covered in blood from attacking the fucker who I hope is now dead. Does that make me a bad person to want him dead? Maybe, but I don’t really care. He’s taken so much from us and if Jameson didn’t stop him, he wouldn’t have stopped.

Other than feeling Jameson getting us in the SUV, I don’t move a single muscle. Every time I’m jostled, move on my own, or Cage hits a bump as he speeds from the house we were at, it takes everything in me to keep my mouth shut and not scream out in pain the entire time Cage is driving us. I don’t even know if anyone else is in the car. My dad is. He takes my hand in his and carefully holds it in his as we sit in the back of the SUV or whatever vehicle we’re in.

“Dr. Morris is on her way to the hospital now. It’s gonna take her a bit to get there. For now, she’s callin’ the doctor on call to make sure they know to do nothin’ except verify if Zoey’s havin’ a miscarriage or not. They can perform any other tasks to fix whatever else is wrong with her, but nothin’ when it comes to the pregnancy,” my dad finally says, his voice gruff with emotion. “Baby girl, I’m callin’ your mama so they can get on the road and head here. You’re gonna need her. We’re all gonna need her. Jameson, I’ll make sure your mom is with her and your aunt Bailey.”

I don’t respond to my dad. Instead, I continue clinging to his hand and let that be one of the lifelines that keep me tethered to the here and now instead of dying completely inside. Jameson is my other lifeline as I cling to his arms wrapped around my body as he holds me close. No matter what he says, eventually, he’s going to blame me for what’s happened to our babies. When that day comes, I’ll finish shattering completely and there’s nothing in this world that will ever be able to put me back together again.

Jameson leans over me and tries to whisper in my ear but I don’t hear a single thing he says. I’m completely withdrawn and pulling in on myself. For the first time in my life, I don’t want him at my side to see how broken I am while knowing I’m the reason his babies won’t live to see the light of day. Honestly, I’m ready to get checked out at the hospital so I can heal, go back to the clubhouse and get on my bike. I want to ride as far from Clinton City as possible while going speeds I’ve never gone before. There will be no one riding with me this time as I leave everyone behind. I’m a complete failure and no one will ever change my mind about that fact.

“We’re gonna do everythin’ we can to save our babies, kitten. You’re not gonna lose them if I have anythin’ to say about it,” Jameson’s words finally penetrate the thick fog consuming me.

“You can’t know that. I don’t know how long I’ve been bleeding and there’s no guarantee I’m still pregnant now. I should’ve done more to protect our babies,” I cry out, my voice filled with nothing but anguish as more tears fall from my eyes and land on his chest.

Jameson lifts my face up until he can look into my eyes. I don’t see the anger I was anticipating in them. He’s upset, scared, and determined. Leaning down, he carefully presses his lips against mine, but doesn’t deepen the kiss. I don’t want him to. In fact, I don’t even kiss him back because this is all going to come crashing down the second we get to the hospital and they let us know that our babies are gone.

“You don’t gotta kiss me now, kitten. The second we hear that our babies are okay, you’re gonna kiss me. I’ll wait for that because you’re worth it. You’ve always been worth it,” he states as if it’s a fact and not his own wishful thinking.

I wish I had his mindset right now. While he’s believing that our children are still safe in my stomach, I know that’s not the case. He can go on living in this moment while worrying about me and the injuries I’ve sustained at the hands of that stupid fucker. Closing my eyes once again, I move until my face is buried back into his chest. Jameson lets me avoid him because he knows I’m stubborn as fuck and don’t want to hear the hope filling his voice. Right now, it’s the last thing I need because if I let myself believe there’s a chance our babies are still safe and alive, it will only shatter me even more when the doctors confirm my worst fears.