7. Ore

Ore couldn't sleep.

He'd been tossing and turning for close to two hours and was no closer to falling asleep than he had been when he'd first laid down. It wasn't that the bed was uncomfortable or that he wasn't tired—Goddess, he was exhausted—he just couldn't seem to settle his mind.

He stared up at the ceiling high above him, dimly lit by the soft moonlight coming through the large glass windows on the back wall of the room. There weren't any curtains to pull over them, which would probably be annoying first thing in the morning if he wanted to sleep in, but in that moment, he appreciated it. He was glad that he could look straight out and see nothing but open sky and treetops. It beckoned to him, calling to his overwhelmed eagle to come and fly. To feel the cool night air rushing through his feathers and clearing out the mess in his head.

If he'd been somewhere where he felt a bit more… welcome, he probably would've gone for a flight around the territory to exhaust himself physically. But even though no one had said he wasn't allowed to leave Cash's house, the implication had been clear that he was to stay put. That way, they'd always know where he was and what he was doing.

A prisoner of sorts. There might not be bars on the windows, but Alpha Amato didn't want him around his pack any more than was absolutely necessary.

His eagle already felt restless, his skin a little too tight. He may have only been awake for a day, but it was obvious to him he'd been unconscious for several. Considering he was already dreaming of open air whipping around him, he had to wonder if he was used to shifting every day or two.

Though he supposed it could also be the stress—mental and physical—that he'd gone through after being injured. Maybe before then too, depending on what had happened to him. He could have been held for weeks for all he knew, with his flight into the Silver Oak territory being his first after a long captivity.

Either way, he didn't think he'd last much longer without getting the chance to spread his wings. He'd wait to bring it up with his babysitter until they got to know each other a bit better. Maybe then he could convince the serious panther that it wouldn't be a risk to come play in the trees with him.

He couldn't imagine they'd actually be upset if he simply flew away, but it wasn't as if he had anywhere to go. Not yet. Maybe not even after he got his memories back. What if no one was looking for him? What if the family that was supposed to love him had been the ones to hurt him?

Shuddering, he turned onto his side and tugged one of the pillows down so he could wrap his arms around it. It wouldn't do him any good to start spiraling and thinking of every worst-case scenario his brain could come up with. He'd just have to wait and see.

And the fact of the matter was, as much as the idea of staying cooped up in the cozy house with a cat shifter who stared at him a little too long and a little too intently didn't sound like a terrible thing, he knew he would go stir-crazy within a couple of days.

Despite the staring, Ore had wondered when Cash had left earlier if he'd come back. The thought had crossed his mind as he'd sat on the stairs to the loft, listening to Cash help his grandfather pack and try and convince him to stay. He'd felt so guilty about displacing the sweet old man that he'd almost volunteered to go back to the Alpha House. But he was too selfish and couldn't get the words out. The idea of staying inside this cute house for days on end was uncomfortable. The idea of being stuck in a basement all by himself?

Unbearable.

So he'd stayed out of sight, eavesdropping on the other two until they'd gone outside together. He'd kept expecting Cash to walk back in after he heard Pops's car leave, the headlights flashing across the downstairs through the large front windows, but he never did.

After almost half an hour, Ore had forced himself to stand from the stairs and go over to the door to peek out. The vampire from Alpha Amato's office was still standing there, unnaturally still and silent as he surveyed the front yard, but there hadn't been any sign of Cash anywhere in the shadows of the lowering sun.

"Do you need anything, Ore?" The vampire's voice had been smooth with just a hint of an accent—something European, he thought. He hadn't actually turned to look at him when he'd spoken, keeping his attention on the gravel driveway and trees beyond.

"Um, no. I just… I didn't know where Cash was."

That had caused the vamp to turn and glance at him for a moment before going back to his perusal of the yard. "He went to patrol. He'll return soon."

Cash had left. Without saying anything to Ore.

The pain that had hit him at the news had been unexpectedly severe, taking him by surprise. The vampire's shoulders had tensed, like he felt it as well, but he didn't acknowledge it, thank the goddess. After clearing his throat, Ore had asked if the man needed anything or if he wanted to come and sit inside, but he'd politely declined. Ore had been more than a little relieved. The pack's second-in-command was extremely attractive, but he made Ore's eagle nervous. Like they were all prey to the vampire, but he was just choosing not to hunt them.

Ore had ended up curled up on the big, soft couch in the living room, not sure what else to do but wait for Cash to come back. He'd ended up dozing a little without meaning to, waking when Cash returned over an hour after Ore's brief conversation with the vampire outside. He'd had a bag that smelled delicious in one hand as he'd paused to stare at Ore for a long moment before going into the kitchen.

Feeling as uncertain as ever, he'd followed, his stomach rumbling embarrassingly loudly. Cash didn't say anything, just sort of grunted as he set the grease-stained bag on the kitchen table and then headed into the bedroom at the back of the house that had been Pops's.

Ore had wandered over and peeked inside to find a cheeseburger and french fries that had been exceptionally good, even though they'd been lukewarm. The fact that Cash had bothered to bring him dinner, despite obviously being annoyed at Ore's presence, had struck him as sweet and made him feel better about being left alone without so much as a warning glare not to go anywhere.

But Cash never came back out after disappearing into the back of the house. After a while, Ore had simply turned off the lights and wandered up to the loft, climbing into the lavender-scented bed in the same enormous T-shirt he'd been wearing all day.

But sleep wouldn't come.

Curled into a ball, the extra pillow doing a very poor job of making him feel less alone, Ore stared at the moon. It'd be full in another week or so. Would he still be there? Unsure of who he was or where he belonged? Would Cash still be mostly ignoring his presence?

Would whoever had hurt him come looking for him?

He shivered and squeezed his eyes shut. Part of why he couldn't settle was because he was already starting to remember things, but it didn't make sense. It was like his mind was healing itself out of order. He would get random blurry images, a scent, or a feeling without context, but nothing concrete. No clear faces. Nothing that he could use to figure out what had happened to him. It all just confused him more, and a part of him was concerned it would never solidify into anything real.

He'd be stuck in limbo, haunted with flashes of a life he could never remember.

Did he have a family out there worried about what had happened to him? Did he have… a mate? Someone he loved and cared about, who was waiting on him to come back home to them?

Something told him that wasn't the case. He might have parents or siblings out there somewhere, sick with fear over him, but would his eagle react to the big panther if they had a mate?

Seemed unlikely. Even without memories, he trusted his eagle.

But should he say something in the morning to let Cash know things were already starting to trickle back into his brain? Would he bring Ore back to Alpha Amato's house to be interrogated again?

He wasn't sure he'd be ready to do that again so soon. And unless he woke up in a much clearer state than he was now, he wouldn't be able to answer anything more than he had already.

No, he wouldn't say anything until he knew something for sure. Something helpful.

There was no reason to get anyone's hopes up about being able to send him on his way with a clear conscience before it was a reality. His stomach turned at the idea of being cast out, but he tried to ignore it. It wasn't fair to feel rejected. This wasn't his pack. They weren't his people, his family. Liam Amato wasn't his alpha.

He didn't belong.

A tear slipped out of the corner of his eye, wetting his pillow. Groaning softly, he swiped hurriedly at his face. He was wallowing, and he had to stop. He had more important things to focus on than hurt feelings over not getting invited to join a pack he really knew nothing about.

Like, what kind of monster used a magically modified virus to try and kill someone?

Sniffling, he flipped over, turning his back on the cheery moonlight and facing the full bookcases lining the front edge of the loft. Before curling up on the couch, Ore had taken a closer inspection of Cash's collection. There was quite the variety, though it seemed like he enjoyed autobiographies and thrillers the most. Neither was Ore's favorite, but he wondered if there was a bookstore nearby for him to have such a collection or if he ordered all of them online.

He sighed and shut his eyes. Not that it mattered. He didn't have any money to buy himself some books he would like. He didn't even have clothes or a phone.

An aching loneliness spread through his limbs. He tucked them in close to his body, making himself into a ball as small as he could. The house was so quiet it was almost as if he were all by himself again. Left to stew in his fear and worries.

For a moment, his mind convinced him he was all alone, abandoned by the cat who didn't really want him there.

His heart rate spiked, and his breaths turned choppy, even as he told himself it wasn't true. He would've heard Cash leave if he'd taken off again. Logically, he knew Cash was right below him, but he couldn't shake off the idea after it took root in his mind.

Maybe he could go and check just to be sure?

If he laid eyes on him, Ore was sure it would settle his anxiety. Maybe while he was up, he could get a glass of water or warm milk, something to try and help him fall asleep. He eased the covers back from his body, his feet landing lightly on the floor beneath him. He crept as slowly as he could across the loft and down the wide, wooden steps.

Taking a sharp turn around the banister, he followed the wall all the way back to the closed bedroom door. He hesitated just outside, his ears straining to hear anything on the other side. His hearing just wasn't as good as other kinds of shifters though, so all he could pick up was a soft tick of a clock somewhere in the living room.

He was going to really piss Cash off if he woke him up. He just knew it…

His anxiety kept bubbling in his veins, whispering at him that he was on his own. That the person who'd nearly killed him would come and get him, and no one would be there to help him. He'd end up getting dosed again. He'd end up in pain, locked in a basement or dumped in the middle of nowhere. He'd never find his way back to Cash?—

Heart pounding in his ears, he gripped the door handle and turned it as silently as he could with his shaking hand. He only pushed the door open far enough to stick his head past it.

The inside of the room was a lot darker than the loft had been. The curtains pulled closed over the windows, blocking out all of the moonlight. His eagle eyes adjusted quickly though, and he spotted Cash's enormous body sprawled on the bed, one arm flung out to the side.

He let out a long breath, trying to settle his pulse. He wasn't alone. Even if Cash didn't want him here, he hadn't just left him to fend for himself.

Whoever had done those terrible things to him wouldn't be able to take him back.

"What are you doing, Ore?"

Cash's deep voice, thick with sleep, called out to him before he could pull the door all the way shut. He bit his lip and pushed it back open.

"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered out, not sure how to explain.

"Are you okay?" Cash asked, sitting up in bed.

Ore's eagle trilled in his chest at the site of all of that bare skin as the covers dropped to Cash's waist. There were tattoos covering a lot of his white, lightly tanned skin. Both biceps, a shoulder, and his forearms were decorated with black ink. Now that they weren't hidden, he could see the faintest glow coming from a handful.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask what they were for, but he held it back. They weren't actually friends. No matter how much his eagle liked the way Cash smelled or looked or took care of him. It didn't change the fact that as soon as Alpha Amato said the word, Cash would be taking him to the edge of the territory and sending him on his way.

Like a stray dog nobody wanted.

"You need something?" Cash asked, scratching at the stubble on his face.

He started to say no. He didn't need anything, but there was something he wanted.

Desperately.

"I can't sleep," he whispered, rubbing his toes on the floor as he averted his eyes.

Cash didn't say anything for a long moment. The silence twisted up Ore's insides, and he waited to be told to go back to his own bed.

"What do you need?" Cash said again. There wasn't a trace of anger or frustration in his voice. He was rock steady as he continued to wait for Ore's response, seemingly unfazed at being woken up in the middle of the night.

He was waiting for Ore to tell him exactly what was going on so he could fix it.

At least… that's what Ore hoped.

"Can I stay with you, please?" He chanced a glance up and found Cash studying him carefully, a small frown between his brows. Ore held his breath.

"I suppose," he said slowly and pushed to his feet. He wasn't wearing anything; not a stitch of clothing covered his body, and even though Ore knew it was completely natural, that shifters didn't get embarrassed by their bodies, heat flooded his cheeks, and he turned his face away.

But not before he'd seen the very large size of… all of Cash.

"I'll grab the cot."

"Oh no," Ore said quickly. "You don't have to do that. I can just…" He glanced around the room, holding back a grimace. "I can just sleep on the floor."

Cash sighed and rubbed at his face again. "You don't need to sleep on the floor."

"Well, I don't want to make you sleep on a cot."

"It's not that big of a deal," Cash insisted.

"This is silly," Ore said, taking a half step back. "I'll just go back upstairs."

"Stop." Cash's voice rumbled across the dark space, cascading down Ore's spine. "Get in the damn bed."

Ore nibbled on his lip for half of a second and then darted across the room and burrowed beneath the still-warm covers. Pops's scent was strongest in the room, but when he pushed his face into the pillow Cash had been using, he found that lavender-and-leather scent. He sucked it in deep, filling his lungs as much as he could before he could stop himself.

Cash cleared his throat next to the bed. "Scoot over."

Ore's pulse tripped as he made room on the king-sized bed. He was swimming in it by himself. Settling on the other side, he ran his eyes over the tall, broad form of Cash and shivered in excitement.

He tried to tamp it down, knowing it didn't really mean anything. Cash probably just wanted to go back to sleep, and this was the fastest way to accomplish that. It didn't matter. Ore already felt safer than he had since he'd woken up. As soon as Cash eased onto the mattress and tugged the covers up to his waist, most of the tension that had built up in his neck and shoulders as Ore had fretted upstairs for hours began to melt away.

He sighed happily.

"Go to sleep," Cash grumbled, turning on his side to face away from Ore.

Ore stared at that mile-wide back, his eyes tracing the black edges of the tattoos there. How he could be so beautiful and fearsome at the same time Ore didn't know, but he had a feeling he would stay awake all night looking at the big cat if he wasn't careful.

He waited until Cash's breaths evened out and he was pretty sure he was asleep, then scooted forward an inch at a time. It took forever to close the foot of space between them, but finally, he was almost close enough to touch his nose to the skin between Cash's shoulder blades. He could feel the heat radiating off his larger body, creating a cozy little nest under the soft covers.

The rest of the tension oozed out of his body, and his eyes started to get heavy. So much better than lying upstairs all alone. In the dark and quiet, he felt safe. It didn't matter that Cash had given him his back. He'd take whatever he could get.

Would he have said no if Cash had offered to wrap him up in his thick, muscly arms?

Goddess no.

He didn't know if there was a damn thing he would say no to if Cash offered. But this was enough. It had to be.

He drifted off to sleep, praying that his memory stayed away for a while longer.