24. Toby

Idied right alongside Blaise.

Not just figuratively, but literally. I'd been watching the life leave his eyes as my heart shattered, and a demon took full advantage of my distraction.

The thing with dying as a supe is that you usually wake up.

When I did, the room was full of noise still. But not the sounds of fighting or death.

The sounds of grief.

Amidst them all, Dagon's voice rang out. "If one of us touches it, we might be cursed too. Without knowing what the curse is, it's too risky."

Curse? What curse? What the fuck was going on?

"You think I care about that?" River's voice was full of fury. "I'm not going to just leave my brother like this."

Horror filled my veins as the penny dropped. Blaise. Blaise. He'd been stabbed.

Stabbed with a cursed sword.

And he wouldn't be able to reincarnate unless someone removed it from him.

I didn't hesitate. Jumping to my feet, I grabbed the hilt with two hands and yanked. There was a wet schlicking noise as the blade slid free, my boy's body hitting the floor. I held my breath, not letting it go until I saw his wound start to knit back together.

"Toby?" Sebastian was gaping at me in disbelief. "What the fuck did you do?"

I gave him a withering look, dropping the cursed sword to the floor. "What I had to."

Suddenly I was being crushed against River's chest. "Thank you."

"I didn't do it for you." Even as I spoke, I didn't take my eyes off my boy. He was still lifeless, not a breath stirring his body.

Wake up. Wake up, damnit!

Like he'd heard me, Blaise came to with a gasp. It took everything in me to let River be the one to drop to his knees. The one to address him first. "You okay, man?"

"Toby?" Blaise's panic was obvious as he searched the room for me. "Where's Toby?"

"Here." There was no planet on which I'd deny him. I dropped to my knees, gently stroking his hair. "I'm here."

Breaking glass sounded behind me, followed by more conversation. I ignored it, focused on nothing but the boy in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he murmured. "You?"

I swallowed hard. Yes, but for how long? Who knew what damage was working through our veins without even knowing? I wasn't telling Blaise that. Not until I knew more about what we were up against. "I'm fine."

Blaise sat up, horror dawning as he looked around. "I failed them."

"No." I grabbed his throat, not caring who saw. "Neither of us failed them. We were overwhelmed, Blaise. There was no way we could've succeeded. We were prepared to give our immortality to protect them."

Blaise frowned. "About that—why didn't they end us properly?"

I held out my hand to help him to his feet. "If I had to guess? Lucifer left us alive so we'll fight for him. The more power on his side, the better."

Despite what I'd said to Blaise about the attack not being our fault, we'd still both felt the need to apologise to the demons…especially when we discovered where Lucifer had dragged them to.

Hell.

It was genius, really. A terrifying, immoral, unfathomable act of genius. What better way to ensure his sons fought for him than by holding their human mates hostage?

Watching Blaise apologise to Harlow, seeing the tears fill his eyes as his voice cracked, that had been the hardest. He'd come so far, and in a few fateful moments, all that progress had been snatched from him.

"I'm sorry, Harlow. I'm so fucking sorry. I tried to get to him, I did. I failed you both and I'm so sorry."

Harlow, who'd been dancing along a knife edge since we'd reincarnated, seemed to find his centre suddenly. I didn't know if it was the fact that Blaise was apologising, his tears, or the crack in his voice, but something got through to him. "Would you have given your immorality for him?"

"Of course," Blaise said desperately. "I fought until the second I was killed. Nothing else could've stopped me from trying to help him. To help all of them."

"Then you've got nothing to apologise for," Harlow said, squeezing his shoulder. "You haven't failed any of us. You did exactly what we asked you to do. Lucifer could easily have killed you both permanently. I don't think any of us would've wanted your eternal deaths on our hands. We're grateful. To both of you."

Cal and the others nodded and grunted their agreement, lifting a weight from my shoulders. Logically, I knew they were right, but it was reassuring to know they didn't blame us.

From the deep slump of Blaise's shoulders, I didn't think it'd had the same effect on him.

We were in the armoury under The Closet, readying ourselves for battle. The demons had a cache of weapons and armour to rival any government. From the grim silence surrounding us, I knew we were all thinking the same thing.

We had to get Oscar, Bailey, and Lucky out of Hell. By any means necessary.

Despite the heavy weight hanging over us, I didn't miss the occasional glances being thrown our way. I knew they were wondering what the curse was. When or if we'd start displaying symptoms.

I didn't know the answer to that any better than they did. I felt fine right now, and as far as I could tell, so did Blaise.

It was a problem that could wait until later. Right now, we had humans to save and an apocalypse to prevent. It turned out that Cal had been called back before he'd been able to close the final fault line, meaning there was now only one way in and out of Hell.

"We need a plan," Harlow said as he filled a bag with grenades. He paused, hand hovering over the bag and eyes wide. "Bailey's awake."

"Oscar too," Cal said, blowing out a breath. "Thank fuck."

Next to me, Blaise was shaking. Even though we'd both known the humans weren't permanently dead—their mates would have been too if that were the case—it was something else entirely to have that confirmed.

All along, his biggest fear had been someone getting hurt because of him. That wasn't what had happened, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Blaise didn't see it that way.

My boy was close to breaking, and I didn't know how to help him. If we were alone, sure. But we weren't. What was more, there was no way I could slip away with him, not with the stakes so high.

"You okay?" I asked, sidling up close to him. In the distance, I heard Dimitri call out that Lucky was awake too, but I kept my focus on my boy.

"Yep," he said shortly, strapping his vest tighter to his body. It was spelled to keep even cursed weapons from penetrating it. Fuck, I wished he'd been wearing one earlier.

He was shutting down, and I needed a way to wedge the doors open. Turning my back on the others, I put a hand on the back of his neck. There was only one way I could think of to get an honest answer from him. One way he could communicate how hard he was finding this without alerting the others. "Colour?"

His hands stilled. "Yellow."

"Good boy," I whispered back. "Thank you for being honest. That's completely understandable given what's happening. We just need to get through the next few hours and we can come up with a plan. Okay?"

He nodded. "Yes, Tobes."

I let him go with uncertainty, everything in me screaming to take him somewhere more private. To go through everything that had happened and how he was feeling. To come up with a plan for the next few days that would help him feel settled and cared for. To call Tyler and ask for an emergency appointment.

After what he'd been through today, there was no doubt that Blaise would need one. Hell, I probably would, given what had happened…and that was before we even addressed the fact that we'd both been cursed.

I glanced up to see everyone else was heading up the stairs. Blaise went to follow them, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Don't forget, no matter where we are, you come first. I'm here for you, Blaise."

He gave me a tight smile. "For the next few months."

I frowned. "Well yes, but?—"

"We better go," Blaise said gruffly. "They'll get stabby if we don't hurry."

Blaise was right, and now wasn't the time or place for this conversation. I'd been hyping myself up to tell him how I felt for the past couple of weeks, I could wait a few more hours.

We joined the others, arranged in a loose circle. The four sons of Lucifer. Dimitri. River. Sebastian. Blaise. Myself.

Nine supes going up against the full might of Hell. We had to make it through this.

We had to.

"Dagon, what's his play going to be?"

Dagon was quiet for a moment before he answered Cal's question. "He'll want the battle to happen on his terms. He won't wait for the Uprising to attack."

"Agreed," Cal said, Mori nodded along with him.

"Now that he has our mates, he has to know we'll go after them," Dagon continued. "He won't want us getting close. If I had to bet on it, I'd guess he's got our mates safely in the dungeons under the ninth circle."

I hissed. Yep, that sounded about right. The ninth circle was the most secure and impenetrable location in all of Hell.

"Given he knows time isn't on his side, I imagine he'll issue a challenge to the leaders of the Uprising. One final battle, winner takes all."

"Didn't go well for him last time," Dimitri reminded Dagon.

"Which is why he needs us. He wants to skew the odds in his favour so heavily that it'll be a cakewalk."

River piped up at that. "Do we need to fight for him? Can't we just take him out permanently and be done with it?"

Blaise nodded, clearly agreeing with his twin. Unfortunately, I knew it wasn't that straightforward, something Dagon confirmed.

"It's not that simple. Lucifer's no doubt issued orders to execute our mates if we take him out. Plus, Hell needs a figurehead, and unless one of us wants to take the throne…"

The silence that followed was expected. Hell was a place no one wanted to be trapped in, let alone rule.

"So we fight for him," Mori said eventually. "What about the Uprising? We put them down?"

"Yes," Cal said coldly. "Every single one."

"We can't let them live," Dagon added darkly. "Not if they think they can come after our mates and use them as pawns in their fucked-up little power games."

Harlow ran his fingertip along one of the daggers he'd been sharpening. "We need to send them a message about what happens when they touch what is ours. We'll use their blood to write it, to etch it so deeply into the foundations of Hell that it will never be forgotten."

I glanced at Blaise, wishing desperately that he was mine in a way that was more permanent than our contract. It really wasn't what I should have been focusing on at a time like this, but I couldn't stop myself. If something happened to him, he'd be gone and I'd be left behind. There was no mating bond to ensure we'd be taken together. Nothing to tell me if he was in danger or give me a clue as to how he was feeling.

I'd never felt the absence of a mating bond before—after all, you couldn't miss what you'd never had. That was what I'd believed. But as I listened to the demons fine-tune their plan, I realised I'd never had this. I'd never had a love that I was willing to risk everything for. I'd never been so desperate to save someone that I'd consider almost anything to get them back. I'd never had a love that burned and drowned me at the same time.

Maybe I never would.

With what was unfolding now, you'd think it'd make me yearn for it less, but the opposite was happening. It was shining a spotlight on how fragile the ties were between Blaise and myself. Mere ribbons when what I craved were heavy chains.

When this is over, I promised myself. You can talk to Blaise then.

We just had to make it through this first.

"Everyone in?" Dagon said, the plan now in place.

We all nodded except Sebastian. I scowled and nudged the stubborn fucker.

"What?" He threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Are you in or not?"

"Obviously." My cousin rolled his eyes. "I'm not letting you lot have fun and steal all the glory. Now, do you think we can get on with it instead of standing around discussing it?"

Before I could bury my stake in Sebastian's neck, Cal spoke. "The portal on the Welsh border is the only one open. The second news breaks of the battle, we'll have any demons involved in the Uprising flocking to get downstairs to help. We need someone to guard it from this side."

Blaise didn't hesitate, stepping forward with his chin held high. "I'll do it. I can't go downstairs anyway, not without dying."

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply to steady myself before opening them again. Even if the others didn't realise it, I did. Blaise thought that by doing this, he could absolve himself of what had happened earlier. It was dangerous though. Fucking dangerous. He was going to have to fight countless demons for an unspecified amount of time.

Obviously though, he wouldn't be doing it alone.

Mori and River had been having an argument over whether or not the latter should go into Hell. As he was mated to a demon, he could do so without any risk. Mori, being the overprotective bear that he was, didn't want that to happen.

Couldn't fault him. I felt the same way about Blaise. That should have scared me, but for some reason, it didn't.

The only thing that scared me was Blaise getting hurt.

"I'll stay with Blaise," I said before Mori could argue with River some more. I stepped up beside the silent mage, reminding him with my presence that he wasn't alone, that he wouldn't be alone so long as I had breath in my body. "We won't let anyone through."