22. Toby

Icouldn't believe how close I'd come to slipping up.

I hadn't lied to Blaise—I really hadn't wanted him to come because I was afraid of him getting hurt. Because he was mine to protect.

But the part about it being because of the contract was a lie. At least, it was starting to feel that way.

I'd been tempted for a moment to confess my feelings. To open up about the realisation I'd had earlier at the fault lines. To tell him that these past few weeks with him had been some of the happiest in my life. That, if he was open to it, I wanted to explore something more with him.

A relationship.

What had stopped me were the memories of the previous times I'd done this exact thing. Three times, to be exact.

The first had been Carlo, in 1678. After several months in contract, I'd gone to my knees to confess my love for him. At first, I'd thought my feelings were reciprocated.

Until the next morning, when I woke up with only a sheet of parchment for company. Carlos's scribbled note had informed me that while he was grateful for the place I'd helped him to reach, he didn't see a future with me.

The second had been Adrian, over a hundred years later. He'd at least been honest about it. His rejection was the kindest of the three.

Which brought us to Alistair.

His was the one that had cut me the deepest. I'd truly believed we had something special until he'd thrown it back in my face.

"You deceived me," he'd screamed, throwing articles of clothing into his suitcase. "All this time, I thought we had a contract, but you're the same as all the others. You always want more than I'm willing to give."

The notion that I'd deceived him had followed me like a cloud for years after. Only several sessions with Dr. Tyler had helped me let go of it. He'd explained that it was okay for my feelings to change, but that I had to respect that Alistair's had not.

And I did respect it. I'd respected all of them, even as they walked out of my life without so much as a backwards glance. Since Alistair though, I'd not repeated my mistake.

I wasn't about to repeat it with Blaise either. There'd be no walking out of my life for him, not with how intertwined we were.

If he didn't want anything more…I didn't know how I'd deal with that. And even if I didn't tell him, I still had to figure out how I was going to cope being around him when the contract ended. But we had several long months until I needed to worry about that. There was no way in hell I was going to do anything to risk Blaise cutting those months short.

Now wasn't the time to be thinking about that. It felt like a problem for future Toby to deal with.

Fuck. Tyler was going to be pissed that I was putting this off. Maybe even enough to tie me to his St. Andrew's cross while he broke out his cat of nine tails.

Not that I was his sub to punish. Nor was it ethical for a doctor to dole out punishment via a whip to someone who'd once been his patient. But when you were vampires with a friendship spanning centuries, you kind of let those things slide.

Our conversation had taken Blaise right back from the edge of orgasm, his cock now soft against his thigh. My own twitched as my mouth started to water. One of my favourite things was feeling a man harden against my tongue, and now I'd get to experience that with Blaise.

My boy was a grower, not a show-er, so I had no issue fitting all of him in my mouth. I sucked tenderly, fondling his balls and tapping lightly on his slackened hole.

It wasn't long before his girth was stretching my lips, the head nudging the back of my throat. Fuck, he was going to fill me up perfectly.

When he was panting once again, whispered pleas falling from his lips, I pulled off. I couldn't resist kissing the shining head lightly, revelling in the fact that I could kiss him there, even if it wasn't the place I truly wanted to kiss him.

You're the one who put the rule in place, remember?

Blaise's eyes were hooded when I looked up from between his legs, his lips parted and shiny.

Fuck, I really wanted to kiss him. Would it really be that bad of an idea?

It would if he thought you were complicating things he didn't want complicated, I berated myself. Stop being selfish. What kind of Dom puts his needs above his sub's?

Reaching for the lube, I straddled Blaise once more and started to prep myself. "How are your wrists?"

He twisted them in the ropes, checking them. "Fine."

"Still want me to ride you?"

His cock twitched against the back of my hand, the one I was using to prep myself. "Yes, Master."

My voice dropped an octave as I lined the head of his cock against my hole. "Call me that again."

A shiver went through him as he breached me. "Master."

I slid down an inch. "Again."

His hands twitched in the ropes. "Master."

Another inch. "Again."

His eyelids fluttered as I bottomed out. "Master!"

"That's it, boy." My own eyelids drifted shut as I revelled in the stretch. I'd been right—Blaise filled me perfectly, like I was made for him. "You're doing such a good job. All you have to do is lie there and feel. I'll do all the work."

I braced my hands on his chest, two fingers on either side of his nipples. Squeezing them, I undulated my hips, taking him all the way to the tip before slamming back down. My own moans entwined with Blaise's, making me grateful for the compulsion net I'd put up when we'd first entered.

Blaise's skin was white where the ropes were, but they weren't chafing. He was doing a great job of holding still, letting me use him to get myself off.

I was already flying high, needing nothing more than his submission to have my orgasm biting at me. There was one final thing I needed first though.

Moving my hips as fast as I could, I grabbed Blaise's throat with a growl. "Come for me, boy."

Blaise's body bowed instantly, as though he'd been waiting for the order. His hips moved in choppy thrusts as he filled me.

I was coming before he'd finished, hot white jets covering his abs, all the way up to his pecs.

When he started to soften, I remembered what he'd said earlier about my mouth being on Lucky's skin. Wanting to erase that memory for him, I eased him out of me. Warmth hit my thighs, but I could take care of that in a minute.

Right now, I wanted to take care of Blaise.

He gasped at the touch of my tongue on his stomach. "What are you—oh!"

His eyes didn't leave mine as I licked up every drop of cum. Once he was clean, I repeated my movements, this time with my teeth.

I didn't bite him. I couldn't do that. But I could nick his skin, pulling forth tiny droplets of blood before sealing them quickly with my tongue.

His taste exploded on my tongue, the most intoxicating mix of charcoal and liquorice. I had to stop, my fangs descending as my body demanded more.

My throat was burning, and it physically hurt to pull myself away. All of that was worth it when I saw the awe on Blaise's face.

"You bit me."

I unknotted the ropes at his wrists, rubbing them briskly to get the blood into them. "Not really. But maybe it could count?"

The hope burning in his eyes was the same kind that had burned me before. Did I run? Remind him that what we had was a contract?

No. I just smiled at him, fucking helpless to stop what he was doing to me.

Maybe Blaise would be the one to burn me completely.

Maybe I'd let him.

It had taken sixteen days for us to close our lines.

Sixteen days for me to realise I was completely and utterly fucked.

I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I had feelings for Blaise.

Big ones.

Scary ones.

The kind that either led to a mating bond or a broken heart.

I'd never met anyone like Blaise before. His quiet smile warmed me. His cheeky snark made me laugh even as I rolled my eyes.

And the way he submitted to me? It was glorious.

The biggest sign wasn't anything that Blaise did, but how I was reacting. My focus on how he was feeling and what he wanted went far beyond anything in a normal contract. It was like I existed to make him happy and comfortable. I was attuned to his every shift in mood, every change in facial expression.

I'd become an expert in Blaise, and I was happier than I'd ever been before.

With that happiness came abject terror. Fear that he wouldn't want the same as me. That this could end at any time.

My heart wouldn't survive it. Not this time. Not with him.

That fear was my undoing whenever he left to close one of his lines. I knew he could protect himself. Logically, I knew that.

But that wasn't how this was supposed to work. He was mine, and I should be the one to protect him.

The upshot of this was me rushing through my own lines as fast as I could before rushing off to meet Blaise. I think he'd decided to find the whole thing cutely exasperating rather than annoying.

That was a good sign…right? It suggested he liked my overprotective nature.

Question was, did he want it in his life permanently?

My gut was telling me to explore this with him. To put my cards on the table and let the chips fall where they would. Ultimately, we would never get anywhere if I didn't. Already I could feel myself changing in our interactions together. I was being more affectionate. More flirty. I couldn't help myself. Whenever we were sat together, I'd make sure I was on his lap. At night, I slid into bed beside him. I found myself using any possible excuse to touch him.

Before, it had been Blaise leaning in to kiss, now it was always me. I'd stopped myself every time so far, but it wouldn't be long before I slipped on that front too. Which was fine, but I owed Blaise an explanation first.

Alistair's words about how I'd deceived him rang in my ears on an almost constant loop. The last thing I wanted was Blaise feeling the same way. I owed it to him to be upfront and honest.

And it needed to be soon. I hadn't missed the way his eyes shone with confusion whenever I leaned in for a kiss before rapidly moving away.

I'd rehearsed what I'd say repeatedly, using the time closing the lines to hone my words to perfection. So many times, I'd almost blurted it out while we were travelling, but the thought of him rejecting me had me holding back. If that happened, I wanted to be able to retreat and lick my wounds.

No, it was better to wait until the lines were closed. When we didn't have the threat of Armageddon hanging over us like an axe ready to fall, that would be the time. Then, if he didn't want to continue, I could go into hiding until I'd recovered.

I'd recovered from heartbreak before, I could do it again.

Blaise was worth the risk.

That was how I'd got through the past sixteen days. Now, we were driving back into Southampton with all our lines closed. Everyone else was returning too, our mission a success. There were no more excuses. Nothing to hold me back.

As soon as we got back to his place, I was going to tell him everything. That I wanted more. That I didn't see him as a contract. That, if I was being completely honest, I'd never seen him that way.

We were five minutes out when both our phones started lighting up like a fireworks display.

"What the—" Blaise reached his phone first. "Fuck. I think Dagon is being attacked."

"Do we know where?"

"The Closet."

Fuck. That meant his attacker had managed to cross the wards, which, in turn, meant they were powerful. I pressed down on the accelerator, compelling drivers out of my way as I pushed the car to its limits. "What else? Who's close by?"

Blaise's thumbs were flying over the keyboard as message after message began to light up his screen. "Sebastian is closest and heading there now. Everyone else is a few minutes out."

My mind raced as I tried to figure out how we could help best. Dagon and his brothers had a deal that meant they would be magically forced to go to his aid. Bit redundant really, since they would regardless. It was a convenient way of them knowing if one of the others was in danger though. "We're only two minutes from the bookshop. The demons won't want to take their mates into whatever cluster fuck they're walking into. Tell them to drop them there, we can guard them."

"Yep, they like that idea." Blaise's face was lined in concentration as he processed the information and relayed it to me. "Cal is there with Oscar. Bailey will be there in under a minute and Lucky in less than five."

My tyres screeched as we came to a halt outside the bookshop. We flew out of the car at the same time, almost colliding with Cal and Harlow. Their eyes were wild as their demons attempted to surface.

"Go," I urged them. "Blaise and I will protect them."

Cal nodded once before launching into the air. Harlow, however, hadn't moved a muscle. He was staring at Blaise, seemingly warring with himself.

Eventually he said, "I trust you. Don't fail him."

Blaise bowed his head. "I won't. I'll guard him with everything I am."

With that, Harlow shot off after Cal. I eyed Blaise warily. "You okay?"

He gave a shaky breath. "Just…He trusts me. After everything I did, he's trusting me to keep Bailey safe."

I wrapped my hand around his biceps and squeezed. "He's a good man. You know, for a demon."

Blaise choked, half a sob and half a laugh. "But what if something goes wrong? I can't live with myself if someone gets hurt because of me, Tobes. I can't."

It shouldn't have been a surprise that this had awoken all of Blaise's old fears, but it still made my chest constrict. I wished I could take it away from him, to carry the burden for him. But I didn't know how. All I could do was reassure him. "That's not going to happen, Blaise. We're basically on babysitting duty, nothing bad is going to happen. Even if it does, it won't be your fault. I promise."

"You can't promise that."

"I can and I will. Come on, let's go find Oscar and Bailey. We're going to have a nice, calm conversation while the demons sort everything out. Maybe we can even get them to persuade you to come to book club."

Blaise hummed as he led the way up the stairs. "Maybe."

My eyes tracked the tremor in his hands. The rigid set of his spine. My poor boy was close to shattering, and all I wanted to do was glue him back together.

Soon. Once this was over, I'd tell him everything about how I felt. What I wanted for us.

As soon as this was over, that was the plan.