17. Blaise

It was later than I'd been expecting when I got Toby's text telling me to come over. When he opened the door, the first question on my lips was about Lucky. "How is he? Will he be okay?"

Toby smiled, gesturing for me to enter. "Yes. It's a serious illness, but he's on the mend. Dimitri and Dagon have both marked him now, so he should make a full recovery."

I nodded, happy for them. I might not have had a fated mate, but I wasn't going to begrudge anyone else finding their happiness. "Good, I'm glad."

Toby's hair was slicked back, like he'd just got out of the shower. I trailed after him as he walked towards the bedroom, completely distracted by his pert cheeks under his joggers. He was topless too, the delicious indents at the base of his spine on display.

He stopped in front of the mat. "Kneel."

As my knees met the soft rug, Toby hummed. "Remind me of your safe words."

Huh. This was different. Usually there was more chatting before we started a scene. I wasn't about to complain though—after the craziness of today, I was dying to escape my brain for a bit.

I couldn't quite believe that the thing I'd been dreading for months, Harlow turning up unexpectedly in my house, had actually happened. Nor could I accept that he hadn't killed me. No, he'd extended a fucking olive branch. I'd been fully prepared to accept my fate, but instead Harlow had offered a hand of friendship.

What was I supposed to do with that?

Belatedly, I realised Toby was waiting for a response. "Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for go."

"Good," he murmured, his hand going into my hair. "How was your day?"

I stiffened. It wasn't that I was planning on hiding Harlow's visit from Toby, but how could I tell him without revealing everything else? I knew without asking that he wouldn't be okay with the fact that my property wasn't warded. And the less said about me having offered my immortality up to Harlow on a platter, the better.

"It was good." The lie tasted foul in my mouth, my whole body rebelling at disobeying my master.

"Hmm." Toby's fingers tightened in my hair. "Anything interesting happen?"

My pulse quickened. "Nope."

Toby removed his hand with a sigh. "Okay, boy. I can't say I'm not disappointed. Remind me, what three things do we need for this contract to work?"

Fuck. My head hung low. "Honesty, communication, and trust."

"Which of those have you broken by lying to me about today?"

I closed my eyes as shame sluiced through me. "All of them."

"That's right," he said heavily. "Harlow told me everything."

I winced. "Everything?"

"Everything."

"I can explain?—"

Master put a hand over my mouth, his gaze serious as he stared down at me. "You had your chance to explain a few minutes ago, boy. You chose not to take it."

My shoulders slumped. He was right.

"This is what's going to happen now," he said, removing his hand. "I'm going to punish you for breaking the rules."

I deserved this. "Yes, Master."

His fingers tipped my chin until I was looking up at him. "Just so there's no misunderstanding here, this punishment is for not being honest when asked about your day. Nothing else."

What about all the other stuff? "Why?"

Master thumbed at my lip. "Oh don't get me wrong, boy, I'm plenty mad about your living situation and the fact that your property doesn't have a single ward." I winced, yep, Harlow really had told him everything. "But I'm mad at myself, not you."

"I don't understand."

He gave me a tiny smile. "While we're in a contract, it's my responsibility to ensure you're living in a safe environment. That's not on you. Yes, you could've volunteered the information, but it was down to me to check."

"How I live isn't your responsibility."

Master's eyes darkened dangerously. He pinched my lip, making me grunt.

"It is while we're under contract. Everything to do with you is my responsibility. Everything. That's the whole point of this, Blaise. You shouldn't need to worry about these things because they're for me to worry about. Understood?"

"I guess." I wanted to bite my lip, but his finger was preventing me. It was as though he'd known I'd do that during this conversation and wanted to stop me. Even when I'd broken the rules, he was still trying to look after me. "What about the…the other stuff?"

I couldn't do it. I couldn't look into my master's eyes and admit I'd been prepared to let Harlow kill me. At the time, all I'd been able to think about was how it was what I deserved. How easy it would be to let it happen.

But now, on my knees for my master, I realised it wouldn't be easy. Sure, it would for me, but how would it make Toby feel? River? What impact would it have had on Harlow's relationship with his brothers?

"I'm not punishing you for things out of your control," Toby said softly, his other hand going back into my hair. "You can't control your mental health any more than you can stop the earth spinning."

I blinked tears away. "Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, darling." A buzz went through me at the endearment, totally different from the one I got from being a good boy, but just as addictive. "I am going to insist on you making another therapy appointment this week. And, after this punishment, I'd like us to discuss how you're feeling in more depth. But only if you're up to it. I won't push you, Blaise. Not on this. I want you to open up to me because you feel comfortable, not because I'm forcing you to."

"Thank you," I rasped again, a tear sliding free. "I don't deserve you."

Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me, my face cupped in both my hands. "You do. You truly do, my darling. And I'll tell you that every day for the rest of our contract if that's what you need to hear."

I smiled, burying the sting at the reminder that this was temporary. What exactly would happen when the twelve months were up? Would we just walk away from each other and never speak of this again? Would he expect me to watch him take on other subs? Be friends with him knowing I wanted more?

Because I would. We weren't even a month in, and I already knew I'd want more when this was done. I'd want everything.

Even if that was an impossibility.

"On your feet," Master said. "Over here."

I'd had a couple of punishments by now, so I wasn't expecting anything physically painful—that didn't seem to be Toby's scene. Still, I was surprised when he led me over to his desk. A lined piece of paper and a blue Biro sat atop it.

I looked at Master questioningly. He pulled out the chair and gestured for me to sit. "You're to write out ‘I will be honest and communicate with my master,' one hundred times. Then you'll write, ‘I deserve good things,' two hundred times."

I swallowed roughly, grabbing the pen.

"Aren't you going to ask why you're writing the second one twice as much?"

"No. It's the one I struggle with more."

Master squeezed my neck. "Good boy."

There was a scraping noise and I frowned as Toby dragged a chair over to join me. "What are you doing?"

"You're not the only one doing a punishment," he said, snagging a piece of paper from my pile and a pen from the drawer. "I have lines to write too."

I leaned over to peer at his scrawl as he etched out his first one.

I must not assume everything is okay. It is my responsibility to ensure my sub's safety.

"You don't have to write lines about that," I said, my cheeks hurting.

"Quiet, boy," he said absent-mindedly, already going to the next line. "That's not how this works. If I've fucked up, you can guarantee I'll own it too. Now, you focus on your own punishment."

I turned back to my paper, trying to hide my smile. I really had found the best master in Toby.

Doing this punishment didn't feel so bad with him at my side.

The day after my punishment, Toby had sat with me while I'd made an additional therapy appointment for that week. Then he'd come over to my house, not saying a word as he saw the way I'd been living. I'd wanted to die of shame when he started unpacking bin bags and organising the clothes into piles, but he hadn't let me wallow. Instead he kept up a steady stream of normal conversation until I relaxed.

The following day, he'd turned up at my newly warded property with several boxes from Ikea. He'd put me to work with him, and by the time we were finished, I had a wardrobe, a chest of drawers, and two bedside tables. Hours later, a workman had knocked on the door, informing me he was there to repair my window.

I didn't know how to thank Toby. He'd taken most of my problems and fixed them without a single comment. No words could express my gratitude, so I used my mouth to show it in other ways instead.

It was a perfect couple of days, but as often happened, the supernatural world was not content to let me and Toby stay in a bubble forever.

It was early evening and I was eating a takeaway with River and Mori. Even knowing Harlow and Bailey would be okay with me being part of the wider group, I still hadn't worked up the courage. My gym membership sat unused in my wallet. Something told me it wouldn't be too long before either Toby or Harlow forced my hand and dragged me down there.

God, I hoped it'd be Toby. Knowing Harlow, he'd probably put me through a workout designed to break me, watching me doing it while sipping an iced latte.

"Any ghast issues?" Mori grunted at me.

We were gathered around River's kitchen table, empty takeaway containers scattered between us. "No."

"Blaise won't have any issues now," River said, wiggling his eyebrows as he forked more noodles into his mouth. "Not with Toby watching over him."

I didn't take the bait, pushing the rice around my plate.

River, being the loving twat he generally was, didn't give up easily. "Come on, Blaise. What's going on between you two?"

"None of your business." I took a long sip of beer, wishing it'd actually do something. Normal alcohol didn't affect supes. Toby and Mori had a healthy stock of Adamanthea at the bar, but if I wanted some I'd have to go to The Closet and risk seeing the others.

It was a risk I was willing to take when it was my only avenue to seeing Toby. Now that I didn't need that, it didn't hold the same appeal.

"Come on," River whined, kicking my foot under the table. "We're twins! You can't hide stuff from me."

I gave him a shit-eating grin. "Think you'll find I can."

River opened his mouth, no doubt to continue arguing, but Mori spoke. "River, behave."

The look my brother shot him was pure brat. "Yeah? Whatcha gonna do if I don't?"

"Please stop," I groaned. "I really don't need to know any more about your sex life than I already do."

"But it's fun to share," River said. "Besides, if you're not getting any then you can live vicariously through us."

"First, gross. Second, who said I wasn't getting any?"

"Ah-ha! Fucking called it. Fess up, is Toby as dominant in bed as he seems? He's so chill, but then he has these weird stern vibes that suggests he knows what he's doing."

I was saved from answering by Mori. He had my brother out of his chair and straddling his lap in a heartbeat. "Wanna tell me you've been imagining another man in bed, Riv?"

"Of course not," River murmured, tugging on his mate's beard. "But you can't blame me for being curious."

"I can blame you, and what's more, I can tie you up and edge you for hours until my name is the only one that exists in your head, so don't test me."

"Spoilsport." River pouted before slipping back into his chair. Meanwhile, I was pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes, trying to erase what I'd just witnessed.

"Oh calm down," River said, kicking me again under the table. I glared at him, willing him to do it again. No one else was allowed to hurt him, but I'd singe his hair if needed. Just a little. Enough to piss him off but not enough to incur Mori's wrath. "When you've got a mate, you'll be the same."

Appetite gone, I shoved my plate away. "Well don't worry, that's not going to happen any time soon."

River exchanged a knowing look with Mori before smirking at me. "We'll see."

I held his gaze. "No, River. We won't. That's not what's happening with me and Toby."

River's smirk faded. "Wait, what is going on? Is he using you? Taking advantage?"

He was on his feet in a flash, already striding for the door. Fortunately, Mori was just as quick. He hauled his mate over his shoulder and slapped his rear. "Shut up and listen to Blaise before you go off half-cocked. I guarantee that whatever is happening between them is fully consensual. Believe me, Toby would never take advantage of anyone."

River rolled his eyes at Mori as he was plopped unceremoniously back in his chair. "I forgot for a second that you two used to hook up."

I stiffened, gaping at the Vikingesque man sat beside my brother. "You did?"

Mori huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yes, but as I told River, it was over two hundred years ago. What I shared with Toby wasn't romantic. I needed…something in particular, and Toby was happy to provide it."

His gaze met mine and I knew then that he understood. He'd been one of Toby's boys. It was strange, but the jealousy I felt seeing the pictures of him and his other subs was absent now. Maybe it was because it had been so long ago, or maybe because it was obvious how sickeningly in love Mori was with River.

"It's good that you were able to remain friends," I said. I'm not sure I'll manage that.

Mori's big hand reached out to pat mine, like he'd heard my unspoken words. "It was easy because there was truly nothing romantic between us. If there had been, I imagine it would've been much harder."

I nodded, trying to not get emotional over the fact that my brother's mate was willingly touching me for the first time. I'd been so fucking terrified that my history with the demons would impact my relationship with River now that he was mated to one. Having his understanding was a blessing I hadn't expected.

River was peering between us in confusion. "Why do I feel like I'm missing something?"

"Because you are, brat." Mori winked at me as he withdrew his hand. "But don't worry, I'll tell you. Eventually."

River was about to retort when all three of our phones buzzed on the table.

"Group chat," River said, flipping his over. His expression darkened as his gaze raced through the message. "Motherfucker."

Group chat? Since when was I part of that?

Checking my own phone, I saw that I was indeed part of a group chat. Scrolling up slightly, I could see Harlow had apparently added me.

"Looks like we're going to the club later," Mori said, shoving his own phone in his pocket.

Frowning, I scrolled down to the most recent message.

Dimitri

Got a lead on the fucker threatening Lucky—his name is Grant. Meet us at the club tonight.

"Okay, well we can put the leftovers in the fridge and I'll head home." I stopped talking as I realised that both Mori and River were looking at me in confusion. "What?"

"You're coming with us," River said slowly, as if he was addressing a four-year-old. "That message was meant for you too."

"I'm not needed."

"Nope," Mori said. "That's not how it works in this family. If we're summoned, we answer. It's as simple as that."

"No one wants me there."

River and Mori eye-rolled at the same time. It was uncanny. "Shut the fuck up and get over yourself. If no one wanted you there, you wouldn't be in the group chat."

Fine. I didn't think River was right, but if they did need my help, I wasn't going to say no.

Looked like I was going to The Closet after all.