Chapter Thirteen

Matthias Delgado

I keep trying to get to Kaelie but she is always out of my grasp, just too far for me to get my hands on her. She is crying and I want to comfort her, to make her smile instead, but I keep missing.

Bright light filters in as the dream fades away. The first thing I'm aware of is the loud beeping in my ears. My eyelids are heavy but once I force them open I regret it. The lights are bright and it feels like someone is using a jackhammer against the inside of my skull. Confusion clouds my brain and for a moment I have no idea where I am or how I got here.

Then everything hits me like a semi-truck. Amber, the gun, Kaelie and Ronin, the immense pain of getting shot. I shoot upright in bed and pain radiates through my abdomen.

"Fuck," I groan before a small hand presses me back to the bed.

"You're going to hurt yourself."

Kaelie's beautiful face floats in front of my vision and I wonder if I'm still dreaming. Though, if I was, I wouldn't be in so much fucking pain.

"Stay still. I'm going to call the nurse," she says turning to walk away.

Grabbing her wrist, I stop her from leaving.

"Wait," I say through the dryness in my throat. "Can you just talk to me before everyone comes rushing in?"

For the longest time, I think she is going to walk out but she finally nods before taking the seat beside my bed. She keeps her gaze glued to the floor.

"Kaelie," I say but start to cough.

She jumps up filling the glass beside my bed with water. She holds it to my lips, helping me drink, and soothing my burning throat.

"Thanks," I say once she pulls away.

Silence descends on us and I don't know where to start.

"I'm sorry."

The words are soft, and I can hear that she's holding back tears. "Everything is a mess, and I don't know how to fix any of it."

Entwining our fingers I squeeze lightly, waiting until she looks at me before speaking, "I love you."

Shock colors her features. "Matthias," she tries to say something, but I cut her off.

"Let me, please?"

Tears fall from her eyes, coating her cheeks in their salty wetness as she nods.

"I fell in love with you within the first hour of meeting you. No, it wasn't about the sex, although that was spectacular. It was about you. I should have said something that weekend, I should have worked harder to find you after you left. Those are regrets I will always carry with me, but I want the chance to make it right."

"I don't know how we can move forward after everything that has happened."

"Do you love me?"

"That isn't important. We've lied, manipulated, caused physical and emotional harm."

Kaelie stands and walks over to the window. I wish I could get out of this damn bed. I want to hold her in my arms and force her to listen to me.

"You're right. We have both made mistakes. I don't want to make any more. I want you in my life, I want to be part of my son's life. If I have to spend every day from now until the day I die fighting to convince you that you belong with me, I will. I'm not letting you slip away from me again."

****

Kaelie Carter

My heart hurts at his words. I want nothing more than to fall into his arms and believe that everything will magically be better, simply because we love one another. But that isn't how life works.

"Matty," I start but I'm cut off by his laughter.

"I hate that fucking nickname. No one has ever called me that without me cringing, until now."

"Stop interrupting me," I hiss.

"You're about to say something I don't want to hear. You can't blame me for trying." He grins, and I swear to God if he wasn't injured, I would slap him.

"Interrupting me isn't going to change the truth."

"Do you want to know the truth?" He is getting angry. "I love you. I want you and my son in my life, permanently. You can be damn sure I didn't risk my fucking life just so I can watch you walk out of it again."

He sits up in the bed once more and I want to push him back down but I know he isn't going to let me.

"Will you calm down?" I all but shout at him.

"No!"

"Matthias, you are going to hurt yourself, tear out your stitches."

"I. Don't. Fucking. Care!"

"But I do."

He laughs loudly, smirking at me. "Exactly."

"Yes. I love you. The idea of being able to give Ronin the chance to grow up with both his parents makes me so happy I can't explain it. But how long will you be able to look past what I did? How long before you feel trapped and use it as a reason to get away from me?"

Matthias glares at me. "How long before you blame me for ruining your life? I knocked you up, bullied you, allowed Amber to physically abuse you, and basically forced you to tutor me. When will you use that as a reason to end what we have?"

"I would never…"

"And I would?"

We stare at each other, both of us breathing harshly.

"I'm scared," I whisper.

"So am I. But I was miserable without you. I don't want to do that again." His words are soft and I can hear the sincerity in his tone.

I stare at him for long moments not sure what to say. My heart belongs to Matthias Delgado. It has since the first moment he kissed me.

Maybe it's time for me to take a chance. We almost died. I could have lost him. I don't want to spend my life regretting taking a chance at being happy, at being a family. It's time to let go of the past, to build our future. Together.

"Am I safe with you?"