Chapter Seventeen

Anya Sanchez

It was the last day of the summer term. The day of the final. I'd missed the last two quizzes, but I had to attempt the final examination at least to get a passing grade—anything but the failing one I bordered on. I still wanted to graduate at the summer ceremony in August.

I walked into class wearing a casual linen pantsuit my mother gave me while I visited her last week. She'd said I wasn't dressing for success. I didn't know, maybe she was right. Maybe Ursin would see me in this white outfit and regret throwing me out of his life.

I wasn't sure if I wanted him, though. I needed stability, something I didn't get in childhood. I didn't want to power play anymore. Ursin's ongoing power grab terrified me now. It shattered my heart to truly walk away from the first real man I fell for.

Just walking into his lecture to take the final test—his final exertion of authority on the students—made me nervous. The auditorium had been nearly full at just under a minute before class started. I glanced at the podium, but Mr. Miller hadn't arrived.

I took a seat near the back by Reggie, who looked terrified, shifting in his seat, and sighing. I'd never seen a guy so distressed before a test.

"It's okay, Reggie. You'll do fine," I said and met his red-eyed gaze.

"I did an all-nighter, and I feel like shit, Anya." He slunk into the metal chair, pausing a moment to take me in. "Nice outfit, and by the way, where have you been? You've missed the last, what, six classes?"

More like seven classes.

I glanced back to the podium. My heart thrummed, and my stomach rippled. God, I really missed seeing Ursin. Even if I shouldn't, it was over between us. Over before it began.

"I've had some personal stuff come up." I sighed too. "I just hope I can pull off an A on this test to at least pass the course. Screw my job at True Investigative Media."

"No shit?" Reggie seemed impressed. "You have a job there? That's cool."

"Had, Reggie. I had a job there, but my GPA will drop after this class. My employment was contingent on academics."

"Oh, sorry, Anya. That does suck." He grunted, straightening then as the slam of the auditorium doors got everyone's attention. "You'll get something else."

"Sorry, I'm late, class." The woman's voice carried into the high ceiling of the auditorium.

All my bodily functions stopped. Who was she?

I turned my head to see the woman, beautiful in her own bright-green pantsuit and coiffed blond hair darting down the step to the auditorium. She carried a massive Goyard bag and held a Starbucks coffee cup in her right hand.

"The line at Starbucks was insane this morning," she said once she reached the podium.

I leaned into Reggie's arm. "Who's that?" I bordered on frantic.

He leaned in closer, too, and I could smell his citrusy cologne and cinnamon gum breath. "That's Professor Marlene. She took over on Monday."

But it was Friday, and that meant Ursin hadn't been going to class all week either. Oh, God. Was it because of me?

"Where's Mr. Miller?"

Reggie pulled back to look at me, confusion on his face. "You didn't hear?"

"What?" I wanted to grab him by the polo shirt and shake him. "What happened?"

"He was in a bad car accident. He's been in the hospital." Reggie narrowed his gaze. "You didn't get the email? I surely thought you'd know what happened to him."

What was that supposed to mean? Did he have suspicions about us? Ugh. I couldn't investigate what he knew and when. Ursin was in the hospital.

Reggie quickly swiped through his phone and handed it to me. "It was in the news."

I grabbed his phone and read through the screen: DA in a hit-and-run Friday afternoon on the tenth block of Hermann Drive. Retaliation hit suspected.

Oh, God. The tenth block of Hermann Drive was where my apartment was located. He was going to see me. I dropped Reggie's phone back in his hand and stood, grabbing my backpack.

"Where are you going? We have the final exam right now." Reggie reached for me but missed my arm.

"I have to go." Nothing could stop me.

I arrived at the hospital intensive care wing, dodging security who I knew were there protecting Ursin, especially if they suspected retaliation.

I stood against the wall, watching the closed door to Ursin's room. And I waited until the coast was clear. It could have been hours or minutes of waiting, I wasn't sure. I was sure that I didn't want to let Ursin go. My heart and my head agreed, and this was my fate. I was powerless against fate.

In between a security shift swap, I took my chance. I walked to the door and opened it, but not before a hand pulled me back by the shoulder.

"Hey!" The voice was menacing, threatening violence with the single word.

Adrenaline ran through me. I was terrified. "I need to see Ursin. He has to know I'm here."

The broad towering man scoffed in my face, lifting me off my heels with his hold. "No fucking way—"

"Let her in." The voice came from the now-opened door. Ursin stood, bandaged and bruised, wearing a cast on his left leg and right forearm.

God, he looked awful. My stomach clenched, and a knot bigger than I could manage formed in my throat.

"Sir?" the security guard said, though he didn't let me go.

"Release her now," he said, low and threatening. Jesus, even beat up to hell, he still lashed out, made his demands, and expected them to be met.

The man let me go, and immediately I ran to Ursin, stopping only inches from him.

"Walk away," Ursin said to the man. "And don't allow anyone to come down this hall until I say so. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." The man walked away, his shoes tapping down the glossy tiled floor.

I met Ursin's gaze. "I just found out about you today in class."

"So, you were going to take the final exam after all." He grunted. "I lost hope that you would."

"I did too. For a little while." But I wasn't talking about the exam, was I? "I know you were coming to see me."

He nodded. "I was."

"Why?" The question was a whisper on my lips. I nearly didn't ask.

"Your mother visited me. She brought evidence to prove you were right about my father." His eyes dropped. Oh, God, he must have been destroyed to know the truth, and without his mother around, he could never get the full story.

Tears bubbled up in my eyes. I knew what it was like to think your hero, your father, wasn't the man you believed him to be. I knew the betrayal well. But I wasn't sure how to feel about my mother going behind my back. I was conflicted about the new information.

"You didn't know."

"I didn't." My voice wavered. "I'm sorry she did that and not me. It should have been me to do it. I was just scared. I thought it was over."

"It was."

Was? As in no longer over? As in, we had a chance to rebuild?

A long pause moved in the space around us, taming flames of the uncertainty, the unsaid.

"How are you standing right now?" I glanced at the hospital bed where I presumed he'd been lying before I tried to break in.

"By my sheer hatred."

"For me?" I panicked.

"For me." He lifted a finger to my cheek and caressed me. "I deserve this pain I feel."

"No." I shook my head. "Neither of us do. I know that now."

"I knew love would destroy me." His glorious hazel gaze pinned mine. "It almost killed me."

My heart jumped in my throat. Love. Did he say love? That's exactly what I wanted to hear, what I needed to know before I never saw him again.

"I love you too, Ursin. So much, it hurts." I dropped my arms and stepped back, I needed to see his whole face. "But will we destroy each other?"

He sighed. "We already have. We've ruined each other."

I nodded. Yes, we had. "What do we do now?"

He paused for a long time, surveying me, taking his time to dance his gaze over my face. "I want a reality where I can be free to give you what you deserve."

His admission wrenched my heart, and burned my eyes with tears. I knew what he really felt inside. I felt it too.

"We aren't our fathers, Ursin. The self-destruction isn't ours to bear anymore." He pulled me into him somehow, wincing with my touch. "We don't have to suffer for what they were."

"No." His voice was muffled against my neck.

"I want to be new again, Ursin. With you."

He took a long sigh. "Then you will be. And so will I."

I breathed in deep, and our lips met in a slow kiss. I melted into him. We were already something different. Something whole.