Chapter 21

I get to the house at the same time Poppy and Walker are walking out with the stuff I asked them to bring me.

"Fuck," I say, jumping out. "Sorry, guys. I forgot to call you back and let you know I was coming home, so you didn't need to come over."

"No worries," Poppy says, a hand resting on her belly. Every time I see her, it seems to get a little bigger, even though it's still quite small and she has a long way to go. The rest of her is tiny, making it stand out more. "We got our Clyde snuggles in anyway. Drool and all."

"Fucker does drool a lot." I nod. "Well, I guess I'll go inside. I'm going to shower and change and head back to the hospital."

"Logan, take a nap. Maci is there with her, right? You need your rest." Poppy gives me a warning look, telling me not to argue with her.

"She's right, man. You look like absolute shit," Walker adds. "Take a quick nap. Maci's got it, I'm sure."

The normal Logan would crack a joke, saying that he doesn't look like shit. But that Logan seems to be gone right now, and left behind is a grumpy fucker. One that feels like everyone has been hiding shit from him—which is my number one trigger.

When my mom's cancer returned, my parents hid just how bad things really were until she was dying. And ever since then, I can't fucking stand being left in the dark.

"How long have you two known that she was the one who got in a fucking wreck with Amelia's mother?" I snap, blurting the words out aggressively. "Or did you know the whole fucking time, even when you suggested she take the job?"

"Wait, what?" Walker utters, his gaze shifting from me to Poppy and back again. "What the hell are you even talking about, Sterns?"

My eyes are no longer on him, but instead on Poppy. Who stands there, her face paling the slightest bit. The last thing I want to do is upset a pregnant woman, but right now, I'm blinded by my own anger.

"Shit," she whispers, setting the bag of clothes down on the doorstep. "You, uh … she told you?"

"So, you did know?" I growl, shaking my head. "Jesus Christ, Poppy. Really? I thought I could trust you."

"You can!" she cries out. "And, yes, I did, but Walker didn't," she says quickly. "And I only just found out the other day. She was going home to tell you that day, but I'm pretty sure when she got home … Amelia was sick." She swallows, shrugging.

"I understand you're mad, but, my God, Logan. Put yourself in her shoes for one second, would you? The girl was driving along with her father on her birthday , and suddenly, someone ran a red light, crashing into her and killing her dad. Oh, and ended up dead themself. And Maci saw all of this." Her eyes tear up. "For years , she has barely been surviving the aftereffects of that day. She's carried it around like a fucking anchor attached to her ankle, trying to pull her down."

She wipes away a few tears. "Your child might have lost her mother, and that is so, so incredibly heartbreaking. But Maci? She didn't just lose a parent. She lost herself."

She walks to me, putting her hands on my shoulders and looking up. "And she finally began to find herself again before she found out who Amelia was." She releases her hand on my left shoulder and waves it at me. "And who you are."

When she steps back, I pinch the bridge of my nose, looking down. "Fuck!" I kick the empty garbage can next to the garage, sending it rolling. "How the fuck am I supposed to explain this to Amy one day, Poppy?"

When I finally settle down, she moves before me again. "You'll figure it out when you get there," she says, tilting her head to the side. "The kid lost her mother before she even got a chance to know who she was. Don't make her lose the next closest thing she could ever have to that too." Poppy wraps her arms around me. "It's a fucked-up situation, Logan. I know that. But the universe brought you and Maci together despite the past. I think you should take that as a sign right there."

She gives me a squeeze before slowly releasing me and stepping back.

"We're here if you need anything, okay?" she whispers before taking Walker's hand. "Let's get going, okay?"

He nods, giving her a tiny smile before looking at me. "If you need anything, Sterns, you know where to find me."

I don't speak, just give him a slight bob of my head. As they get in his truck and leave, Maci's face in that stairwell flashes through my brain. She was so fucking hurt, and I had done that to her. I never wanted to ever cause that woman more pain than she'd already had to endure. And yet I did.

Grabbing the bag from the steps, I jump back in my truck and throw it in reverse. Because I fucked up. And I need to make it right.

By the time I get three pages into Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site , Amelia's eyes are closed, and she's snoring through her teensy, stuffed-up nose. I could get up. After all, she's sound asleep. But I find myself closing the book and studying her face. I wish I could memorize everything about her before I lose her for good.

I never really believed we, as humans, could love a person like they are our own child if they genetically weren't. I've been proven wrong because my heart beats for this little girl.

She has this book, as well as two other similar ones at home. But it's her very favorite, so when I walked by the gift shop and saw it, I knew I had to get it for her so she had it before bed tonight.

Logan left nearly an hour ago, and I'm really hoping he'll stay home and rest tonight. I know he's exhausted; he needs some sleep.

"You look so beautiful when you read to her."

Logan's voice startles me, as I didn't expect him to be back so soon. And I take in the sight of him in the doorway, holding two bouquets of flowers in his arm.

"I could watch the two of you for hours, Boston. I'd never get tired of it either."

I wonder if I'm dreaming because when he left, he made it pretty clear everything between us was over. My delusional brain might be just desperate enough to play this trick on me, giving me a little tease, only to wake me up and rip it away.

As he walks into the room, one of the nurses comes to check on Amelia's IV.

"Can you come into the hallway with me?" he says, setting the flowers down on the windowsill and holding his hand out.

"Just so you know, I'll be in here for at least twenty minutes," the nurse says, giving us a smile. "Go. Take your time. I'll wait until you get back."

Staring at his hand, I'm still wondering if this is a dream or if he's really here. But still, I take it, scooching off the bed and letting him lead me into the hallway.

There is a door with a sign that the waiting room is closed, but he pushes it open and walks in. I follow close behind, finding it empty.

Once it closes behind us, he stands in front of me, cupping my cheeks. "Maci, I am so fucking sorry for the way I treated you earlier." His deep voice flows through the empty room.

I hang on to his words like they are a lifeline. They are filled with emotion and humility.

"I was angry and maybe a little afraid, and I acted like a complete coward." He brings his face closer to mine. "What I should have done was tell you it's okay and that it wasn't your fault." He pauses, his eyes growing misty. "Because it wasn't. Cassandra was the one on her phone. She ran into you—"

"I know that," I whimper, my lips quivering. "But on the day your daughter lost the chance to ever know her birth mother … I was there." I break eye contact, trying to look down. "If I hadn't made that turn … Amelia would have a mother right now." A painful sob rips through my chest. "I'd give anything to take that day back for her, Logan." I suck in a breath, trying to calm myself down. "And one day, she'll know the truth."

He forces my head up higher, leaving me with nowhere to look but into his eyes.

"And when she does, she's going to look at me …" I stop, shaking harder. "Just like the way you looked at me in that stairwell. Like I'm a … monster."

"Shh," he says, moving one hand so that his thumb swipes away the wetness on my cheek. "Baby, you are the furthest thing from a monster—do you hear me?" He presses his forehead to mine. "You lost your father and had to survive something that must have been the worst day of your life. You, Maci McKenzie, are a survivor. And you're strong, kind, smart, and talented."

I squeeze my eyes shut as my face grows soaked from my tears.

"And the truth is, I don't just love you, Boston. I'm in love with you. And every single time I watch you with my daughter, hear you laugh, listen to you talk about a plan for two weeks from now just because you need to organize every single detail ahead of time, or watch you write … that love only grows." He presses his lips to mine, pulling my body against his. "I get that the thing that ties us all together is complicated and fucking messy, but you know what? That's okay. Amelia loves you. And I truly believe that one day, if or when she learns the truth, she might be angry or upset for a little while, but she'll always remember that you love her. And for that, she could never hate you forever. I promise you that."

"I just worry that me being around will cause her more harm than good," I whimper. "I'd never want to do that."

"You won't," he whispers against my lips. "We will always figure it out . But we're going to do it together . You and me. Side by side."

I stare into his eyes, speaking the truth. "I'm so scared that I'm dreaming right now. And when I wake up … you'll be back to hating me."

"It's not a dream, baby. I'd prove it to you, but I don't want to pinch you—unless you're into that?" he jokes before growing serious again. "I could never hate you, Boston. You're one of my favorite people on this entire planet."

This time, it's me kissing him. Our mouths collide, and our tongues tangle as we kiss until we're starving for air. It feels like we haven't kissed in a lifetime, like I've waited forever for this. When, really, it hasn't even been a day.

Pulling back slightly, I try to catch my breath. "Amelia … we should go back," I whisper. "I don't want her to wake up and us not be there."

"And that right there is what I love about you most. You're always putting Amelia before yourself. It shows how much you truly love her." Kissing me once more, he grips my chin. "We'll finish this later, Boston. That's a promise." When he brings his mouth to my ear, I feel the stubble on his face. "I won't pinch you, but I'll spank you."

Even though it's not the time for it, my body reacts to his dirty promises and fiery touch, just the way it always does. Desperately. But still, I force myself to keep it together and compose myself.

Hand in hand, we walk back toward Amelia's room. A few months ago, I never would have imagined caring for a young child while they were sick. In fact, I'm pretty sure if someone gave me the option, I probably would have said hell no because I, myself, would have been nervous about catching the germs and wouldn't have wanted to risk getting sick. And yet now, after truly, honestly getting to know Logan and Amelia Sterns … I'd throw myself in front of a bullet for that kid.

Her dad too.

Once we're back in the room and the nurse leaves, we each take a seat in the chairs, and Logan runs his hand over the top of my head.

"Do you forgive me, Boston?" he rasps, his eyes looking lost.

"For what?" I say, confused.

"For the way I spoke to you earlier." He looks mortified. "I'm so, so fucking sorry. I'm ashamed of myself."

Cupping his cheek, I bring my nose to his and close my eyes. I breathe him in, pressing my forehead to his. "I forgive you."

For years, I was engaged to a man who refused to apologize, even when he was clearly in the wrong. He spent his days belittling me and making me feel like I wasn't worthy. All because he was jealous of my career and loved to exploit my flaws.

I pull back, looking at Logan Sterns, and I can't get over one thing … this is real life. And he is a real human. Not a book boyfriend that my mind created to travel far away.

And best of all, he's mine.