27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Now, normally, I'd be working on a massage table. And I'd have all my clothes on."

I hold back a snort of laughter. "I would hope so."

I lie down on my stomach on the bed, and Josh settles over me, straddling my thighs. There's a quiet click as he opens whatever that tube is he pulled out of his jeans pocket a moment ago—when he'd still had his jeans on—and then he leans over and kisses my cheek before he starts.

His hands are like fucking magic—slow and warm and strong as he soothes the aches in my neck and shoulders and upper back. Somehow, he knows exactly where I'm hurting and exactly how to loosen up my muscles and ease the pain. I've got no concept of time right now—how much time has passed, what time it is, anything. The room is dark, and it's quiet. And I'm just hoping I don't fall asleep, because I'm probably much too relaxed.

That changes a few minutes later when he leans over to kiss my cheek again.

"Feeling better?" he whispers in this low, deep voice that's just so fucking sexy. And he lingers there, bent over me, with one hand resting on my shoulder, his thumb still rubbing into my muscles.

I start to answer, but my voice won't quite work. "Mm-hmm, uh, y-yeah."

He shifts a little, and there's a pressure on my ass that's rock-hard and hot. And my body quite suddenly remembers what we'd been doing before we came back into the bedroom.

Ah, fuck.

The pressure is gone when he straightens up a bit and starts rubbing my upper back again, using longer, firmer strokes. I groan in protest, though it's not intentional, really—I just can't help it. His hands slow and work a little lower before stopping.

"Something wrong?" He leans over me again, letting his hands slide right up the middle of my back with just enough pressure. And god, when his hands reach my shoulders, his dick presses into my ass again. Shit, he's hard.

I grunt some sort of response to his question, although I'm not sure I formed any actual words, and then I lift my hips up off the bed to meet him.

There's a puff of hot air on my neck as he groans. "Mmm, ah, I..." He can't seem to form sentences any better than I can right now. But I still think it's fucking sexy.

The bed shifts, and he sits up again, his hands moving to my hips. He's still for a moment, though that doesn't stop my heart from doing whatever the fuck it's doing in my chest. Beating too fast. Unsteady. Shit.

He clears his throat. "I think, uh, my official work as your physical therapist is done."

"Official? So... you can get all unofficial now?" My voice is rough. And I wonder how the fuck he's going to interpret that. Thankfully, he doesn't make me wonder for long.

"Yeah," he says. His fingers tease underneath the waistband of my briefs as his weight shifts over me again, and then he traces a wet path down my back with his lips and tongue.

"Fuck, I like unofficial."

"Mmm."

He pauses his path downward, but he tugs gently at my briefs, and I raise my hips again so he can slip them off. Then he's back, his hands now caressing my ass as his kisses resume, his lips moving lower and lower. Slowly. Fucking slowly. Just how I like it.

He moves again to settle one knee between my legs, and I shift, bending a knee slightly outward to give him more room. He kisses one of my ass cheeks as his fingers dip down to brush against my hole.

"Ahh, fuuuuuuck." Fuck, that's good. It's so fucking good. I think I can't breathe, but I groan and prop myself up on my elbows. I feel his breath against me, his mouth hot as his lips trail inward toward where his fingers are still exploring. Shit, it's good.

"It's good? This is okay?"

"Very. Very good. Very fucking okay."

He laughs lightly, and then both of his hands slide upward to rub up and down my lower back as he kisses me again, low on one ass cheek and then the other. When his hands reach my ass again, I feel the wet heat of his tongue, still not quite where I want it to be, but getting closer. His knee presses into my leg, encouraging me to give him a little more room.

And I'm fucking happy to.

One of his hands slips between my hips and the bed, and I arch just enough for his hand to close around my shaft. He strokes lightly, and at the same time, his mouth moves closer to my hole, his kisses unhurried. It's—fuck—it's...

"Ahh, ahh, god." I moan something else—some nonsense, I'm sure. Then I'm pushing myself back into him and his fucking magical mouth as he finally reaches the spot I've been wanting him to. His tongue is hot as he licks and kisses and sucks and whatever the fuck else he's doing.

It's incredible. I fucking want more.

"Fuck, you're... good. God, that's so fucking good."

He's still pumping my shaft slowly, even as his tongue pushes inside me, and I moan again, panting as I try to hold myself still for him. The heat of his mouth disappears for a second.

"Do you like that?" he asks, and I can tell he's breathing heavily too. He doesn't wait for me to respond before he adds, "Or maybe..." He trails off, and it takes me a minute to catch up—I'm still too fucking distracted by the way he's stroking my dick. But then I feel his lips on my back again and his fingers brushing down between my ass cheeks and then rubbing gentle circles around the outside of my hole. Gentle but with more intention now. "Maybe this?"

"Ahh, yeah. Oh god." There are a few other words I probably say, but my body's surging with need and want and heat, and I can't think straight. At least I manage, "Lube. Nightstand."

He pauses for a second before shifting off of me. I'm breathing hard, but I turn my head to watch as he opens the drawer to the nightstand and grabs a small, clear bottle. He doesn't question it, which is good, I suppose, but he does give me a sideways grin as he closes the drawer, and I feel my face heat up and my heart beat a little faster in my chest.

Fuck, I mean—yeah, I've got lube. Anal play is good times, even if I've only ever done it alone. This is gonna be different, though. This is gonna be him touching me. And I want it. I want him. Badly.

I close my eyes as I feel him take his spot behind me again, and this time, when his fingers slide against me, they're wet and slippery.

"Good?"

"Mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, fucking good."

He laughs and kisses my back. One hand's settled on my hip and the other circles my entrance. Then he's leaning over me, and his lips are hot on my neck. He murmurs something against me as he continues teasing my hole with his fingers.

I'm not sure what he said. Fuck, I'm suddenly not even sure what day it is. What fucking year it is. Because him touching me is more than I can take.

But he repeats himself, because I suppose it's important enough that he needs to.

"I've never done this. You'll have to tell me what you like, if I'm doing it right."

"Mm-hmm. 'Kay. Slow." Apparently one-word sentences are all I'm capable of?

And he laughs again. "Yeah. Slow. And lots of lube?"

"Mmm, yeah." I inhale sharply as he touches me again, one finger easing in. "Ahh, fuuuuuuck."

"That's good?"

"It's fucking good."

Another hot breath on my neck. "Right." And then he's sucking just below my ear, and he pushes his finger in a little deeper, then pulls it back out, not quite all the way.

Holy fucking god. He does it again and again. Slowly. And fuck, I'm on fire. There's this heat in my belly that's growing like nothing I've ever felt before. And I'm moaning and pressing myself back into him more as he does it again.

"Ahh, good god. God. Please—please don't stop."

"I'm here," he says, his voice a low, deep whisper in my ear.

And all I can think is "Fuck, yeah, you are." But I just moan as he does something else with his finger and somehow hits just the right spot.

It's fucking amazing.

I'm not sure whether I can come like this—I never have when I've messed around myself. But this is different. And there's still more. There's still that thick, hot shaft of his that's been teasing me since just as he was finishing my massage. Fuck, I want it. I want him.

I fucking hope he wants it too.

His lips press into my neck, and he shifts somehow so he's straddling one of my legs, his hard length rubbing against my thigh. Then I feel him stretch my hole more. Two fingers maybe. It's so good.

"Good still?"

"Mm-hmm. Yeah. I—fuck—" He hits that spot again, and my body jerks a little. "God. Oh god. Fucking good, yeah."

His warm breath on my neck. His dick pressing against me. His fingers in my ass. So many sensations, and all so fucking new.

But when he kisses my neck again and then pushes himself up to settle over me, his other hand resting on my lower back, there's something else too. And it's this incredible feeling of love and belonging and warmth that spreads outward from my chest. Like it's safe here, with him. Like everything is finally good again.

I suck in a sharp breath, and when I let it out, I'm trembling, my heart racing and my body tingling. "Can we... can westop for j-just a minute?"

He kisses my cheek, and then his fingers slip out of me. "Of course. Of course. Are you alright? I mean, is it—"

"It's incredible. Fucking perfect."

There's a light laugh against my neck. Then he shifts off me, and I roll onto my side so we're facing each other. He kisses my lips—a long, slow, lingering kiss—and then pulls back and brushes another kiss on my forehead.

We settle there together for a moment, but I can feel the slight tension in him, and I know he's worried.

"I just needed a minute," I explain quietly, and I feel him sort of nod against me. "And I thought we should probably, um, talk about... Ah, fuck, this is awkward."

"What is?"

"Trying to talk about this. I've never, um—" I shake my head, but he just kisses my lips again gently.

"You can tell me anything," he says.

I try to let that reassure me, but I still feel tongue-tied. He'll probably understand though, right? God.

I still feel his touch from just moments ago—his fingers inside me, his hard length pressing against my thigh. And that pushes all the air out of my lungs. I close my eyes and reach down to stroke him through his briefs. He's still hard, and he groans as his dick swells and twitches at my touch. I want that inside me.

"Ahh, god, Coop."

I lean in closer until my cheek is touching his. "I want to tell you what I want, but if it's too much or too fast, that's okay."

"Tell me."

There's a throb of desire that jolts me at his words, and I groan and shift until my hips are pressing against his, my hand still trapped between us, still stroking him firmly but slowly.

"I . . . I want you. I want you inside me. I want you to . . ."

"What—what do you want me to do?" He seems out of breath, and his hips buck slightly as I stroke him again.

But I'm still tongue-tied because this is fucking awkward. "I want you to... Shit, I'm not sure how to..." I pause and groan a little as I shift my hand to his hip. "I-I don't want to say ‘I want you to fuck me,' because that's not really what—I mean, because that sounds too... crass, maybe?"

He laughs, and when I look at him, he's grinning. He shakes his head. "Too crass? Seriously, man, have you heard yourself talk?"

"Well, I... Ahh, fuck." Yeah, he's got me there, but this is different.

He lets out another light laugh, and then he's kissing me again, deeper this time. When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against mine. I can almost feel his smile, even with my eyes still closed.

"I know what you mean," he says quietly. His lips brush against mine again. "And, um, I'd not want to call it that either because... it's not... just that. It's more than just that."

I'm glad he understands what I can't quite say.

He shifts his hips slightly away from me—just enough for him to reach between us so he can caress along my inner thigh. I bend my knee up, and his hand follows me, his fingertips stroking slowly up toward my aching shaft.

I start again, trying not to be so awkward with the words. "I want you to make love to me. I want you inside me. I want you to come inside me. It's not... fucking. It's... making love." I move my hand to grasp his dick again, and he shivers and moans as I rub my hand up his length. "I want this inside me."

"I want that too," he breathes, and there's another long moan. His chest is rising and falling rapidly, and his hand is still just at the top of my thigh. Fuck, I'm aching for him to touch me, but he doesn't move for a moment. He just exhales a short breath, kisses my lips again, and clears his throat. "I've never done this before. I've, um, read about it, but..."

I nod and let my hand shift away to his thigh. There are more awkward words to say still, but they really need to be said. "You mean anal specifically, or penetration at all, like, uh, with...?" I trail off because, yeah, I can't quite say it either. I can't quite bring myself to ask him if he's ever had sex with a woman.

But he understands what I mean, and he confirms what I assumed.

"I've never done anything. All of this is all new to me. Everything we've done today is all new." His voice is quiet but clear. "Incredible. But, yeah, all new."

I just nod, and I kiss him softly. I think we've talked enough. At least for now. More later, I'm sure. For now, I just want him to make love to me.

I wrap my arm around his waist and then roll over onto my back, pulling him on top of me, and he doesn't waste any time. He sits back a bit and slips his briefs off, then settles between my legs. His thick shaft brushes against mine as he leans over, one hand on either side of me, and kisses me. There's this rush of anticipation that surges through me—anticipation and heat and need. And I reach between us and stroke him as he deepens the kiss.

He groans—a low, deep sound that rumbles in his chest. Then he sits back again, resting his hands on my knees. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing hard. And his thumbs are teasing me in the most maddening way, rubbing gently back and forth along the sensitive skin of my inner thigh.

After a moment, he opens his eyes again, and when he looks down at me, it's that fucking magic again. His sexy smile, dimples and all. His gorgeous eyes, dark in the dim light of the bedroom. His love. Fuck, I can feel it as he looks at me.

I bend my knees up and reach out to him, needing to touch his chest, and he leans over me again. All his weight shifts to one arm so his other hand is free. And then he's kissing me. It's good. Fucking good. His lips are soft and warm, his kiss gentle and sure. He breaks the kiss just for a second, and I watch as he grabs the bottle of lube and pops the top open.

There's a sudden urge in my chest. "Let me. Please."

It occurs to me that I said the same thing earlier, when I wanted to finish undressing him on the couch. And the reminder of how he tasted when I sucked him makes my dick throb with need again.

Ahh, shit. This is wild. What a fucking wild day.

He nods and hands me the bottle. I squeeze a good amount into my palm, close the bottle, and set it back on the bed next to us. Then I reach between us and coat his shaft with the viscous liquid.

He's not unaffected. He lets out a shuddering breath and moans, "Ahh, god, yeah."

"You're so fucking hard and hot. I want..."

"You want this?" he asks, his voice rough. He scoots back a bit. Then his fingers are circling me again, and he dips one inside me.

My hands drop down onto the bed, and I push my head back against the pillow as I close my eyes. "Ahh, fuuuuuuck. Yeah, yeah."

I don't realize how he's shifted until I feel the heat of his mouth at the base of my shaft. My eyes open, and I watch, my heart thrumming madly in my chest, as he trails a path of wet, hot kisses up to the tip of my erection. Then he grasps me with one hand and takes me in his mouth.

"God—" Holy fuck.

He's still fingering me, while he's sucking on my dick. And I'm throbbing—like fucking really throbbing—as he moves his mouth up and down. It's hot and wet. And I'm almost immediately at whatever this new edge of pleasure is, moaning with some urgent need. It's fucking bright and feels so fucking good. And then he slowly pulls his mouth off me, still holding my base with one hand. His fingers slip out of my channel.

"God, man, that's..." I can't finish my thought. That's happening a lot lately.

He lets out a short breath, and I open my eyes. He's watching me again with that deep expression. God, I want him.

"You're ready?"

"Yeah."

"Is this the best, um, position?"

Ah, fuck if I know. I probably should know. "I don't know."

He gives me this fucking gorgeous smile, and his hands reach under my knees. "Maybe this way?" He repositions me just a little, so my ass is a bit more exposed and my legs are bent up more, my feet off the bed. "And, uh, relax?"

"I'm relaxed. I'm fucking totally relaxed. Just, um, just... go—"

"—slow? Yeah. Of course. And tell me if—"

"Yeah."

He's shifted closer, one hand on his erection to guide him and the other on my thigh. I can feel the head of his dick pressing against my hole, and there's a funny flutter in my chest. I take a deep breath and try to relax, because I'm totally not fucking relaxed—I'm on edge with need and want and whatever this intense pulse is that's giving me the urge to push myself down so he's inside me now.

His hand caresses up and down my thigh gently, and then he's entering me, pushing into me carefully, slowly. I want to watch, but it's too overwhelming. I screw my eyes shut and tilt my head back with a loud groan. He stops, and his hand tightens on my thigh.

His voice is thick and rough as he asks, "Is this okay?"

"Yessssss. It's—yes."

His hand relaxes, and he pushes in more, groaning as he slowly stretches me out. It's tight and hot. The tightness is only a little uncomfortable and only for a very short moment. And then all I feel is him and his hard shaft as he inches into me deeper and deeper. He's going slowly, but I can tell when he's fully inside me because he stops and moans.

Fuck, I still love that sound.

"God, you're tight," he rasps. "I've never—god, it's so good. It's so hot. Is it—is it good for you?"

I can't speak, but I nod, and I'm lost. Gone in some haze of all these fucking incredible things I've never felt before. I feel him pull out—not quite all the way—and then push back in. Slowly. And again and again. And there's this tightness and pressure and some fucking amazing something building low in my belly.

It's so profoundly different, and it builds gradually. I feel hot and tingly as I moan and reach for him, needing to touch him. He shifts over me, still thrusting at an impossibly slow and perfect pace that's exactly what I want and need. My hands frame his face, and I pull him to me for a kiss. He groans, and I cry out something, and we're both panting, breathing hard, shaking.

"Coop . . ."

"God—oh god." It's more now. Deeper. Fuller. Fuck. Fuck, it's building, and I think I'm almost gone.

"I'm . . ."

"Y-yeah. Me—me, too."

His lips cover mine again, although he's moaning into the kiss, and I'm not sure what to do with my hands. I need him deeper and harder now. I think.

"Ahhhhhh, fuck, I—"

His head falls onto my shoulder as his hands grip my thighs, and he speeds up. Just exactly as I want. Just enough.

And then I'm crashing. Hard waves rippling through me. It's more intense than anything I've ever felt, and there's this shaking and tingling. And I fucking might be floating, I'm really not sure.

It's probably several minutes later when I can finally feel myself again—the bed solid underneath me. I hear an indistinct sound, and there's a warm breath and lips on my cheek. And I realize I'm on my side, and he's no longer inside me, but he's holding me, his hand rubbing my back.

"I—I can't..." My voice is trembling, and there's a tingling feeling still in my fingers. My whole body's buzzing or on fire maybe.

"God, I know. I know," he agrees. He kisses my cheek again, and it's somehow soothing to me.

"That . . . just . . ."

"Yeah," he agrees, and he holds me to him a little tighter, his arms wrapped around me.

It's warm and comfortable. And I couldn't move right now, even if I wanted to.

But I don't. I don't want to. I want to stay here, forever. Just him and me and whatever this thing is that's so incredible and real and perfect.

It's a fucking really, really good place to be.