8. Chapter 8

Niko doesn't answer the first time I call, so I try again, keeping a casual eye on the door as my phone rings. Teddy wasn't in bed when I woke, nor inside the apartment, but there was a note on the nightstand—a literal note—saying he'd be back shortly.

Niko picks up right before the call can go to voicemail. "Kipp?" he says sleepily.

From the background, I hear, "The fuck is he calling this early for? It's not even ten on a goddamn Saturday."

"Tell Dixon sorry," I say quickly. "I just, uh…"

Niko must hear something in my tone because he says soothing words to Dixon before a door shuts. "What's up?" he asks.

I tug at my hair a little, eyeing the door again. "I had sex with Teddy," I whisper. "Sort of."

I can practically hear Niko's slow blink. "Start at the beginning."

"Okay, so I came home last night, and Teddy sucked my finger. Which, hello, what? But then he tried to act like it didn't mean anything, and I was like, dude, no way. And he was like, fine, maybe I want you for all time. Which, rad. So Teddy sat on me and told me to lie there and take it, but in a super respectful way, and then he edged me for, like, half an hour with a handy, Nik. The best fucking handy. And then…"

My voice peters out, lost.

"And then?" Niko encourages.

I tuck my hand over my mouth. "And then he called me a good boy."

Niko doesn't laugh like I half-expect him to. He hums thoughtfully. "How'd you feel about all that?"

"I mean, it was really fucking fantastic," I admit, my body flushing just remembering it. How nice it was to let Teddy take care of me. To just go with the flow and not think. I shiver a little at the memory of his hand on my cock, his other in my hair. "The orgasm was—holy shit, Nik. But… The ‘boy' thing threw me."

"Because of your dad?" Niko asks.

"Yes," I say, relieved he got it. My dad has a distinct way of calling me boy that makes it feel like I've failed at life. It didn't sound like that coming from Teddy's lips, but still. It was a strange-as-fuck choice of endearment. I'm far from a boy.

"I assume you told Teddy you didn't like it?" Niko asks.

"Um…"

"Kipp," he says, huffing a laugh. "Is it going to happen again? You and him?"

"Yeah, I think so. He made it sound like it was on the table."

Which thank fuck. Sex with my hot-as-hell hubby? Yes, please. This whole marriage thing is already looking up.

"Okay, then you need to tell him," Niko says, being much too reasonable.

"Yeah, maybe," I mumble.

He chuckles. "But otherwise, you enjoyed it?"

"A lot," I say. "I just wish…"

Again, I trail out, and Niko gives me a verbal nudge. "You wish what?"

"We didn't even kiss," I tell him. Which, yeah, maybe I'm a little disappointed about that. I like kissing, and Teddy has great lips. I bet his beard would be soft with the right amount of bristle. I sigh just imagining it.

"If not kissing is a limit for you, tell him," Niko says. "You have to communicate these things."

"A limit," I say slowly, wondering at the weird way in which he worded that.

There's a brief pause, and then Niko says, "Uh, you realize Teddy is a Daddy Dom, right?"

I can feel my mouth drop open. "Whaaat?"

"Oh my God, Kipp!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know that?" I defend, standing up and pacing the living room.

"Well, for starters, how about the fact that he called you good boy?"

"Yeah, I suppose there's that," I admit, my mind cycling back through every moment of last night. The way Teddy took over. How he wouldn't let me come until he was entirely satisfied I was going to lie there like he asked and be good for him. How utterly commanding he was in a calm, controlled way that made it incredibly easy for me to follow his demands. How he was happy to take care of me without reciprocation. "Oh."

"There it is," Niko says.

I swallow roughly, whispering into the phone. "Does that mean he wants me to call him…Daddy?"

I swear Niko chuckles, but it's a quiet thing. "You'll have to ask him."

I groan, walking over to the window. "I can't ask him that with words. And what does that make me in this scenario?" The door unlocks, and I hiss urgently, "Shit, he's here. Gotta go."

I slip my phone in my pocket as Teddy comes through the door, a couple grocery bags in hand. He notices me immediately, a small smile on his face as he looks me over.

"Hey, you're up," he says, all calm and handsome and stuff.

I'm pretty proud of my response, all things considered. "Hi."

Teddy tilts his head a little, pausing. "You okay?"

"Sure."

His smile shifts, crooking up at one end. "I can hear you thinking from here. Just a second. Let me put these away real quick."

Teddy heads into the kitchen, still fully visible but facing away from me, and my eyes catch on the coffee table where my ring is sitting. It's odd how quickly I got used to wearing it and how…bereft my hand feels now that it's gone. Would it be weird to put it back on? Teddy is still wearing his.

Before he can turn around, I snatch the ring off the table and stick it on my finger, having to give it a little wiggle to get it over my knuckle.

"All right, come on," he says, waving me toward the door.

"Wait, what? Where are we going?"

"I figured we could walk and talk," Teddy says. "You'll be more comfortable if we're moving."

Jesus, it's like this guy knows me.

"Yeah, okay," I agree.

Teddy waits as I slip into shoes, and then the two of us head down to the sidewalk, Teddy leading me in a direction that looks more residential. We're quiet for a few minutes until the sound of traffic dies down. The houses in this area are pretty, many of them with landscaped front lawns suited to the desert climate.

Teddy is the first to speak. "You're wondering about last night."

I puff out a breath. "Yeah."

He nods, as if he expected as much. "Were you at all uncomfortable?"

My instinct is to say no because, with the exception of that one short b word, I wasn't uncomfortable in the least. Frustrated at first, sure. I considered taking myself in hand a time or two when Teddy decided he was going to stop playing nice with my dick. But then…then I just let him lead, and it was nice. A relief.

In the end, I answer truthfully. "For the most part, no, I wasn't uncomfortable."

Niko would be so proud.

"Which parts weren't you comfortable with?" Teddy asks.

Shit, I have to say it?

Teddy reaches over and gives my hand a squeeze, like he knows I'm having trouble. He looks down, seemingly surprised to find the ring back on my finger, something I refuse to feel guilty about. It's my ring; I'll wear it if I want. Even if it is maybe a size too small.

Teddy lets my hand go before long, but the squeeze helped.

"Are you really a Daddy?" I ask, amazed by how even my voice comes out.

Teddy hums. "I have been."

"But you aren't now?"

"I didn't say that," he responds. "I'm not sure that ever truly goes away, but… It's not something I've acted on in a long time."

"But, with me last night…" I let the question hang.

"I couldn't quite help myself," Teddy answers, a little smirk on his face.

"I'm the same age as you," I point out, confused about that. "Well, shit, that's not true, is it? I'm, what, seven years younger? But that's not a huge gap. I'm not young. You're not old."

He chuckles. "It doesn't always work like that, Kipp. The dynamic has nothing to do with age."

"You called me boy."

There, I said it.

Teddy hums again, watching the side of my face. I find a very nice tree to look at. "Is that the part that bothered you?" he asks evenly.

"Yes," I admit, finally catching his gaze. There's nothing but kindness there.

"I won't say it again."

I nearly stutter a step. "That easily?"

"That easily," he says. "All I want is to make you feel good, Kipp, and if that didn't make you feel good, I won't do it again."

"Well, shit," I mutter.

His chuckle is warm. "Was the sweetheart okay?"

"Christ, Teddy. You realize I'm five foot eleven and three-quarters, fill a shirt pretty nicely if I do say so myself, and shave on the daily, right? I'm not the small sweetheart type to most guys."

"I'm well aware of what you look like, Kipp," he says, lips quirking. "And that didn't answer my question."

"It was fine," I mutter, most definitely not blushing.

Teddy makes a pleased sound that drops my shoulders, like he has a direct line to some sort of relax Kipp button. It's effective, that's for sure.

"Teddy," I say, stopping for a moment. He stops with me. "I'm all for this." I point between us. "And I'm not opposed to meeting some of your less intimidating dildos. I just… I don't know what this means. I don't know if I can be the sort of partner you want."

"Kipp," he says, the one word soft. "You're already exactly what I want."

The way that lights me up should scare me. It really, really should. But all I want is to bask in the glow.

"Come on," Teddy says gently, steering me in the opposite direction. "Let's go home, make a late breakfast, and we'll talk."

"More talking," I deadpan. "Yay."

Teddy snorts. "It'll be painless, I promise."

"Good. Because I have to tell you, I don't think I'm a masochist. If you're into flogging, you might be outta luck. I nearly fainted the last time I got my blood drawn. That shit hurt."

My sexy-as-fuck husband chuckles, a smile on his face as the two of us head home. I can't quite help but smile, too.

"So…you'd basically boss me around," I sum up after Teddy finishes explaining the whole Daddy Dom thing. I stuff a bite of pancake in my mouth as his lips twitch.

"Only in the bedroom," he clarifies.

"Okay, but yesterday was in the living room," I point out just to be contrary.

"Stand up," he says.

"What? Why?"

"So I can swat your ass."

The expression on Teddy's face lets me know he's teasing, but damn. That doesn't sound like the worst thing.

Setting that aside for now…

"You really think I'm submissive, though?" I ask, still not quite getting that part, even though I did really like what happened last night. "I mean, I'm pretty assertive when it comes to sex, Teddy. I've never been one to let the other guy do all the work."

It sounds selfish even considering it, and yet… Teddy sure didn't seem to mind running the show last night.

"It's not about work, Kipp. I don't want you to think of it in those terms." Teddy pauses for a moment, thinking over what he wants to say. His plate is empty now, as is mine, but neither of us moves from the island. "In a power exchange, each person should benefit equally. The dominant partner enjoys having control, and the sub enjoys giving it. That's not to say the submissive partner is powerless. Not in the least. And to answer your question, yes, I think letting go of control is something you'd enjoy given the chance."

"How do you know that?" I ask quietly.

Teddy's gaze turns sharp. It's a look that has me taking immediate notice and sitting taller in my seat.

"Because," he says, voice low, "if I told you to hop up on this counter and let me have you for dessert, you'd do it without hesitation."

"I mean," I cough, adjusting myself, "who would say no to that?"

His smirk has me pondering the answer to that question.

"Let me ask you this," he says, turning his body my way. "In your past relationships, were you happy? Were you getting what you needed?"

His question nearly pulls the air from my lungs. Because no, I haven't ever found a guy that gave me everything I needed. Who made me feel settled and secure. I've never met someone I wanted to spend my life with. Never been in love.

There has been something missing all these years. Some intangible piece of the puzzle I've been searching for. I started to wonder if maybe I just wasn't made for relationships. If I'd be the perennial bachelor who had to make do with friendships in lieu of true partnership.

But I do want partnership. No matter how much I've tried to prepare myself for the possibility that I'd never find my person, I want to fall in love and create a family of my own and have that knowledge that me and him—we'll be forever. And love, well, doesn't it start with lust? Or even like?

I sure as hell like Teddy. And I more than liked how he made me feel last night. I still don't understand it—why Teddy seems to think I have some sort of untapped submissive potential. But maybe I don't need to understand it. I trust him. And I'm curious enough to explore what it is he's offering. After all…

If I'm lucky, maybe my husband could be the one.