Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

SASHA

Rio darts down the hall, leaving me confused by his abrupt departure. Ever since the weekend that he helped me job hunt he's been acting weird, but I can't put my finger on exactly why, and I don't have time to think about it now either. Monster is still waiting for my response.

"Sadly, no," I answer his question on a sigh, pouting at the same time. "Which is a travesty, really. I would be a perfect fit there."

Monster laughs his cheeks still the brightest shade of pink. I love how easily he gets flustered, but he doesn't let that stop him either. I have no idea what it would be like to be on the ace-spectrum. I can only imagine it's confusing as fuck. Especially growing up in sports when the majority of the guys you hang out with are constantly talking about sex and girls. I mean, all that was on my mind as a teenager was sex. Of course, I wasn't thinking about girls, and that wasn't something I was able to or wanted to hide.

People tried to bully me for my flamboyancy, but I never gave a fuck. That's something I learned from my mother at a young age. She told me that there are always going to be people who don't like me, and if I let their opinions of me matter, then I'd live my entire life chasing a joy that I could never catch. If I wanted to be truly happy in this life, I had to find joy inside myself. People can say what they want about me, but the only thing that matters is what I believe.

I forgot her lesson one time, and it almost killed me.

Maybe if she wasn't taken away from me by a drunk driver when I was fifteen, I wouldn't have made that mistake. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her and wish she wasn't taken from me far too soon. I can't change the past, though. I just have to keep living and try to remember all the amazing things she taught me.

"Where are you working then?" Monster asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"The last place you'd expect me to be working," I tell him, shaking my head, still in disbelief myself.

How did a nerd like me, who only watches sports when I'm wanting to hook up with someone, get a job as the school mascot?

Monster's brows pull together, his lips purse, and he stares at the ceiling, probably trying to figure out on his own what my new job is. Eventually he shakes his head and makes eye contact with me again. "I've got nothing."

I chuckle, patting his shoulder. "It's okay. Thinking can be hard for you athletes," I tease, and he shrugs my hand off while sticking his tongue out at me.

"The dumb jock joke is getting old," he murmurs, but there is a hint of a smirk on his lips, and I take that as the go ahead to continue teasing him from time to time.

"You know I'm just bugging you," I remind him.

His smile grows, and he nods, confirming I didn't cross a line.

"And to stop you from thinking too hard, I'll put you out of your misery and tell you what my new gig is," I tell him with a smirk. "I'm the newest member of the GSU mascot team." I throw my arms up in a ta-da manner, not missing the way Monster's jaw drops.

"You are the newest Kerrington?" Rio asks, causing me to jump. I didn't hear him walking back to us.

I turn to him with a plastered-on smile. "Yup," I reply, popping the p. "I know I'm new to this gig, but I'm nailing it if I do say so myself." I wink at him, noticing he has the same look of shock on his face as Monster does.

"You're right," Monster finally says. "That is the last job I would have thought you'd apply for. How did you get the position anyway? Don't they fill that at the beginning of the year with auditions and all that shit?"

I nod. "That's what I've been told, but they had a last-minute vacancy and needed to fill it immediately. So my bad luck of being forced out of a job suddenly turned out in their favor, and here we are."

"You have a lot more energy than the other mascots," Rio notes, causing me to stand a little taller at his praise.

I love being told when I'm doing a good job. Which is something I've been hearing from Evangeline a lot since I started training to be the newest Kerrington. I've spent the past three days working my ass off to learn the routines, but thankfully, they came easily to me. Tonight was my first time being on the field for a game. I'll admit I was nervous since I've barely had any training time, but Evangeline wanted to see what I was capable of in a real-life environment. It went better than I ever could have imagined. Evangeline was singing my praise, and all the cheerleaders were telling me they hope I get put on the schedule more because I was the most fun Mascot they'd worked with in a long time. I'm still trying not to let their words get to my head.

"You were at the soccer game tonight?" Monster asks, connecting the dots.

"Yup, it was my first game. How do you think I did?"

"Amazing," Rio and Monster say at the same time, and I chuckle.

"Thank you. I had a blast. I'm not going to lie, and I wasn't sold that this job would be the best fit for me. I was afraid I would get bored on the sidelines, but that didn't happen at all. The cheerleaders welcomed me with open arms, and the crowd ate up my antics. I could easily get addicted to that kind of praise."

"You don't mind that they are cheering for Kerrington and not actually you?" Rio asks. "I thought you liked being the center of attention."

"I love being the center of attention," I correct him. "The fact that people don't know it's me inside the costume almost makes it more fun. And if I fuck up, I won't have to tiptoe around waiting for the awkwardness to fade because most people will have no idea it's me inside the koala."

"I see your logic there," Monster says. "I really enjoyed how over the top you were today. The crowd was definitely eating up all your moves. Do you think the other mascots will get jealous?"

I shrug. "If they do, that's on them. Not my fault they can't move like I do."

Evangeline voiced her concern when I first told her I wanted to add more flips and energy to my routine because the majority of the other team members don't have the ability to do the same, but when she saw the way the crowd reacted, she ate her words. I know it's rude to step on people's toes, but I always put my all into everything I do. The last thing I would want to do is half-ass this job just to appease the other team members. Hopefully, they don't end up hating me, but I could live with it if they do.

"I wish I had your confidence," Monster mumbles.

"Is it confidence or cockiness?" Rio questions.

"My mom taught me that people's opinions of me don't matter," I tell Monster, ignoring Rio's remark. "There are always going to be people who don't like me or think I need to be different. If you spend all your time trying to make other people happy, you'll never be truly happy yourself. You have to live your life for yourself. Those that matter will love you for you. If you have to change yourself to make someone like you, they'll never really love you. It will always be conditional, and eventually, they'll find a reason to leave. Or they'll keep asking you to change until you don't even recognize yourself anymore."

"That makes so much sense," Monster replies, with a nod of his head.

"If you want lessons on being awesome, let me know," I tell him, earning me a laugh in response. "But in the meantime, let's make some popcorn and get this movie marathon started."

"Fuck yeah," Monster cheers, heading toward the kitchen.

I'm about to follow him, but Rio grabs my elbow, stopping me. Jolts of electricity shoot up my arm from his touch, and I have to fight myself from sucking in a breath of air. He doesn't need to know that I react like this to him.

"I know we aren't exactly close friends, but if you ever want to talk, I'm here for you," he tells me with a soft smile.

There he goes, acting nice again. What the hell has come over this guy?

I've never talked about my past with anyone, except a therapist before, wanting to forget about it, but Rio's offer has me wondering if I should change that. Maybe I should open up to someone about the horrible things I went through, but should that person be Rio?

"Thanks," I whisper and nibble on my lower lip.

He opens his mouth to say something else, but the door opens before he can get the words out. His hand drops from my elbow as his roommate enters, and I miss his touch already, which is stupid since he only meant it in a friendly manner.

"Sorry I'm late," Bronny apologizes as he enters the apartment.

I'm dying to know what Rio was about to say, but the moment is over,

"You're right on time," I correct Bronny. "Monster is making the popcorn now."

"Perfect," he replies with a wide, toothy grin. "I'll change super quick."

He leaves me and Rio alone again and I struggle to find words. Which is not something that happens to me often. I find myself staring into his eyes. He doesn't look away, and a warmth I hadn't expected tingles up my spine.

Monster grumbles something from the other room, breaking the moment.

"We should go make sure Monster doesn't burn the popcorn," Rio says, and I nod, still struggling to form a sentence. So, instead of talking, I head to the kitchen with Rio right behind me.

Something is definitely going on with that man and I wonder if I should say something. The fact that he has offered to be a listening ear if I need one is a huge step for us. Maybe that means I can finally get him to say yes to a date with me. Not that I've actually asked him out before, more like just offered up a night of fun, but I think I'd be willing to date again for him.