Chapter 18

18

Grace

I tiptoe into Benji's room. After the big fight two weeks ago, he packed up his clothes, but his shelves still hold his photos, sports memorabilia, and décor.

I pick up the framed photo off his desk— the photo of him holding his baby daughter.

Why couldn't he have just told me?

I study his face in the photo. He looks so young, and the newborn is so tiny in his arms. The first time I looked at this photo —the night I was in this room after my nightmare— I never even noticed Benji was wearing a hospital bracelet.

Benji isn't anything as bad as Miles makes him out to be. Deep in my heart, Benji loved me. There's no doubt. I not only feel hurt, he didn't tell me about his daughter, but it also makes me wonder what else he hasn't been truthful about.

I set the picture back on Benji's desk and return to my bedroom. I flop down on my bed and think about what a mess this has turned out to be.

There's a tap on my bedroom door and I open my eyes. "Come in." I sit up on the bed and Miles enters.

"Hey," he says.

I lay down and face away from my brother. "What'd you want ?"

"I just wanna talk to you." Miles sits on the edge of my bed.

Miles is facing my back so at least I don't have to look at him. I've barely spoken three words to him since he kicked my boyfriend out of the house two weeks ago.

"Grace, I think this has gone on long enough."

There's a flutter in my stomach. Butterflies are clearing out the cobwebs.

Maybe my brother has finally come to his senses. Maybe he realizes what a jerk he's been to Benji and to me.

I turn around to my other side. "Really? You do ?"

He's going to apologize. Maybe my brother isn't such a bad guy after all.

"Absolutely." He nods. "This pouting, this staying holed up in your room like some hermit. I didn't say much when you missed a few classes, but it's been two weeks."

I close my eyes and bite my lip. "What?" My voice is barely above a whisper.

"It's been two weeks, Grace. You need to get over Benji and face the facts. He duped you. He completely and totally used you. Can't you see that?"

I shake my head slowly. "We care about each other."

Miles makes a display with his hand of the empty room. "Then where is he, huh?"

I sit up on the bed, my voice raises. "Well, he left since you beat in his face and forced him to move out. That's where he is."

"It's been two weeks. I'm sure he's moved on to another girl." Miles shakes his head. "Or two for that matter," he mumbles, almost more to himself than to me.

"You can be such an asshole sometimes. You know that?"

My brother's mouth gapes as his eyes glare. " What ?"

"You heard me." I swing my legs over the bed and face Miles. "I'm tired of you always treating me like a baby— always acting like I can't think for myself or make my own decisions. This just proves that I have to start living for myself."

Miles points a finger at me. "Hey, I've only ever wanted to protect you."

"From what ?" I'm practically screaming.

"From people who don't have your best interest at heart." Miles rubs his hair which causes it to go in all directions. "Guys like our father who use women, get them pregnant, and take off. Deadbeat dads." Miles lets out a groan. "Guys like Benji— who is just like our dad, by the way. He got some girl pregnant. He has a kid, remember? A kid he didn't tell you about."

My eyes sting with tears that I refuse to shed.

"I'm not talking about Benji. I'm talking about everything— boyfriends, classes, this college."

Benji's eyes narrow. "What about this college?"

"I didn't want to come here. I wanted to go to Bishop with Lucy." I let out a breath. "I don't know anyone here. I don't really have any friends, but I came here because you and Mom insisted it was best."

Miles rubs his face. "I didn't know you were that unhappy here."

"I'm going to finish out this year, but I'm not sure what my sophomore year will look like. I might transfer to Bishop."

Miles points a finger at me. "We can talk about that."

I shake my head. "We can talk about it, but I'll be making the final decision. The choice will be mine. Not yours. Not Mom's. My decision. Got it?"

I've never spoken to my brother like this before.

Miles blinks a few times and a slow grin appears on his face. "You're growing up."

"And I'm moving out from here in two weeks."

"What? Where? Why ?"

"I don't belong here. You need to patch things up with Benji and let him move back in here."

Miles furrows his eyebrows. "Where're you going?"

"I'm moving into a basement apartment near the campus." I pull on a loose thread on a nearby pillow.

"What apartment?"

"It's the basement of a lady's house and it's only a ten-minute walk to campus. The basement is furnished and has a bedroom, my own bath and a small kitchen. It also has a family room with a couch and a loveseat." I take a shaky breath. "I get the full basement all to myself."

"Shouldn't I meet the lady and check out the apartment for you?"

I shrug. "You can if you want to, but I already signed a lease and gave her a down payment."

"Where'd you get the money?"

"From Mom."

"I see."

"I talked to her a few weeks ago— after Benji left. She understood how you've both coddled me to death and it's time for me to step out into the world."

My brother just stares.

"And Miles… if it wasn't Benji who broke my heart, it would've been someone else. You have to let me experience my own heartaches and everything —both good and bad— that's just part of life."

"You're all grown up, baby sister."

My brother and I hug, and he leaves me alone with my thoughts.

I return to all my classes the following week and I catch up on my missing assignments. Even though I had put on a brave face for my brother when it came to my breakup with Benji, I'm still miserable. I've lost seven pounds from not eating and I'm still finding it hard to sleep.

I haven't been running, but I do enjoy taking long walks around the nearby neighborhoods. I imagine what it'd be like if Benji and I were married and living in one of the stately old houses in the Cumberland Park neighborhood.

My heart still hurts. I thought Benji and I had really made a connection. He said he didn't want to be with other girls, and I believed him. I don't know what he's up to now, because I stay away from any place that I think I might run into him. He doesn't call or text. The last words spoken between us were the day Miles caught us and kicked Benji out of the house.

I have no doubt that Benji cared about me, and it wasn't just an act. I'm not na?ve enough to think Benji hasn't been with a lot of girls. I'm sure he has, but I still believe we had something special.

Unfortunately, my brother has made me feel less than capable for all these years. I've always kind of laughed it off that that's just my brother, but now I see how much it's stifled me. It wasn't hard to talk to my mom the day I called her after Benji left. She agreed with everything I said about how Miles has always kept me under his thumb. She promised me her full support and when I told her about the basement apartment, she encouraged me to answer the ad from Eleanor Gibben.

At this point, I don't know if there's any chance of a reconciliation with Benji. I want that. More than anything, but I don't know how he's feeling about it.

After some long walks and a lot of time thinking, I've made up my mind. I'm going to go to Benji.

When I get home from the library late on Saturday afternoon, I find the house empty because the guys are at the game. While I was studying at the library, I listened to the game with my earbuds. The Rebels pulled out the win with a last-minute touchdown. John threw the ball, and my brother ran it twenty yards to score with only three seconds left in the game.

Benji had two quarterback sacks and racked up a load of other tackles today. No matter what happens when I talk to Benji, I'm going to start going to the games again next Saturday. It's our last game before Thanksgiving.

I head up to my room and find three cardboard boxes just inside my doorway. Kade and Sean have been great to me since I've lived here, but especially since Benji moved out. Kade was the one who drove me to Mrs. Gibben's house and checked out the apartment with me.

I fix myself a sandwich for supper and get lost in packing up boxes in my room. I've been buying some things for the new apartment, so it's been fun organizing my new things and packing them for moving day.

I just finish putting the rest of my cookware and cooking utensils into a box when I pause.

What was that?

I hear something going on outside, but I'm sure its people partying since we won the game today.

I fold a few towels and I hear loud voices on the porch downstairs and some bangs on the front door.

I'm sure people think there'll be a party here tonight, but I know the guys are headed to the 1800 House. That's where the party is going on.

I try to ignore the noise in hopes the partiers will move along and figure out no one is here.

A minute later, there's a squeal from an amplifier and someone talking. "Testing…testing…"

Oh great. They're going to start blasting music in our yard.

I hear something hitting my bedroom window. Like rocks.

They can see the light on in my room and they think someone is in here. Just great.

I throw the shade back and peer into the side lawn. There are about twenty to thirty people gathered in our yard.

More pounds on the front door and more stones at my window.

"Grace O'Leary." Someone speaks through the amplifier.

What the hell?

I peer outside again but I don't see the amp— must be in the front yard.

I scurry down the stairway just in time for another tap on the front door. I peer out the window, but no one is on the porch— except there are at least fifty more people gathered on the front lawn and leaning up against cars that are parked on the street.

"Grace O'Leary. Come outside." Someone says through the amplifier. I peer outside again and squint to get a look at who might be working that amp. I can't tell because the amp is on the other side of our big oak tree.

Why are all these people outside?

I take a deep breath and cautiously open the front door. The people who stand in the yard break out in cheers and applause.

This is surreal. I barely even know anyone from school. Who are all these people?

I step out onto the porch and can barely find a spot for my feet. The front porch is covered in gnomes. Gnomes of every shape and size. Large ones that stand two feet tall, small ones that are only several inches. Practically every inch of the porch is covered with the legendary dwarfish creatures.

"Holy gnomes," I mutter as I stand in awe.

I take in the crowd as they applaud. I give a small wave.

Next, two guys who are dressed like gnomes appear at the bottom of the stairs.

Oh boy, this is getting interesting.

They're holding a big sign that reads ‘Here's your fortune.'

Those two gnomes run away, and two different ones appear with a big sign that reads

‘The most effective way to do it is to do it…'

The third set of gnomes appear with their sign. ‘With Benji.'

More gnomes appear with a sign. I can't tell how many gnomes there are— if these two are the original gnomes or different ones. Their big sign reads ‘Your fortune is.'

Maybe the same gnomes.

Two more gnomes. ‘You are your best thing…'

Third group of gnomes ‘with Benji.'

My heart pounds out of my chest. I scan the crowd for Benji but it's almost dusk and I can't find him.

Six gnomes stand in front of me with a huge banner that reads, ‘I'm sorry, Grace.'

My eyes well up with tears.

The six gnomes quickly run away and more signs cross in front of me.

Gnome one's sign says, "I."

Gnome two runs by but stops to hold his sign that says "love."

Grome number three stops at the foot of the porch, waving a sign that says "you."

Benji has to be in this crowd somewhere.

Then his voice comes over the amplifier and the crowd quiets. "Grace O'Leary, please come out here."

The six human gnomes hurry to the porch and clear a path through the plastic gnomes so I can make my way down the porch steps.

"Hey Grace," one gnome greets. He's dressed as a gardening gnome, pulls his cap aside, and grins.

My eyes bulge out. "Kade? Is that you?"

He chuckles. "Your boyfriend owes me a case of beer."

"He owes me a hundred bucks," another gnome exclaims.

"John?"

John points to the other gnomes one by one. "And Sean. Cogan and Abe from 1800 house." My eyes dart around to the football players who are now dressed like little mythical people.

This couldn't be more perfect.

One gnome stands off on his own and leans against the porch rail, with his arms across his chest. He nods "Hey, Grace."

I cover my mouth with my palm as my eyes blink recognition.

This can't be.

" Miles? "

"I'm the grumpy gnome," he mumbles. "Your boyfriend owes me a bottle of top-shelf whiskey. He got off easy." Miles adjusts the tall Phrygian cap on his head and tugs at his green tights. "I told him he ever hurts you, and I won't go easy this time." He pulls the fake gray beard down and scratches his chin and lets the elastic on the beard snap back into place. "No fat lip either. Full. On. Disassembly."

I want to ask my brother what happened between him and Benji, but I'm more curious to see what these football players —or gnomes, I should say— have in mind for me.

My brother steps away from the porch railing and takes me by the hand. I'm led to a chair that sits on a platform.

"Sit down," Miles directs as he and Kade help me onto the platform. Someone from behind puts a tierra on my head and another set of hands pushes me forward to attach a large set of wings to my back.

Benji steps out from behind the oak tree. My skin is immediately covered in goose bumps, and I can hardly catch my breath.

The crowd is still cheering and Benji holds up his hand to silence them. It's a low rumble and Benji speaks into the microphone. "Grace O'Leary, my friends told me in order to win you back, I better come up with some sappy shit."

I laugh.

"I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you." He pauses and takes a drink from his water bottle. "I wasn't completely honest with you about my past, but I was honest with you when it comes to how I feel about you."

The tears fall and I can barely swallow.

"I want you. I want you to be mine and I don't want anyone else. Ever. I love you, Grace."

I hear sweet ohs from the crowd.

"He's so sweet," someone next to me says. "She's so lucky," her friend exclaims.

Benji hands the microphone to one of the gnomes and reaches for his guitar. He puts the strap around his neck and another gnome adjusts a microphone stand in front of Benji.

"This one's for you, Grace."

As soon as he strums the strings, I recognize the melody immediately. It's the song he was working on the night I had that nightmare. I had fallen asleep listening to him.

He sings:

"I've made mistakes, but my past is in my past. How can I tell this girl that she turns my world around? That she makes every wrong a right? When I see the sun shining off her hair and the beauty of her eyes, I know she's in my heart to stay.

She's in my heart to stay. The girl who makes me laugh and brings me the joy of a summer day. The girl that's my world— my everything.

I know I broke her heart and for that I'm sorry to have ever done her wrong. How can I tell this girl she's everything I've ever dreamed of and more?

She's in my heart to stay. The girl who makes me laugh and brings me the joy of a summer day. The girl that's my world— my everything."

The crowd cheers once Benji has strummed the last notes. He hands his guitar to one of the gnomes and takes huge steps to get to the platform where I'm sitting. He jumps up onto the platform and takes me in his arms.

"I'm sorry, Grace. I'm sorry I wasn't honest about everything."

"I'm sorry I reacted so defensively."

"I just want to be with you. I talked to Miles."

"I figured… since he was one of your gnomes." I giggle. "I heard you owe him a bottle of top shelf whiskey. That's gonna be expensive knowing my brother."

"It's worth it. Anything is worth it to be with you again." His face grows serious as he studies me." We are together again, aren't we?"

I wrap my arms around his neck and reach up to kiss him. "I've missed you so much. More than you can imagine."

He grins. "Yeah?"

I nod.

Benji rips off my angel wings, throws them into the crowd, dips me down and captures my lips in a searing kiss. The crowd goes wild with cheers.

We break the kiss. "Hey, why'd you throw out my angel wings?"

He kisses my forehead. "You don't need those wings to fly… you're doing it all on your own, baby."

"I'm all grown up now," I grin. "Making my own decisions."

Benji winks. "So, I've heard."

"Got my own apartment."

He nods. "Heard that too. Good job." He gives me a megawatt smile that melts me into a puddle.

"If you're interested, I got us a room at the Claymore downtown. Care to join me there?"

I look over at my brother and he holds up a bottle of beer to us in cheers.

"Don't worry," Benji assures me. "He'll come around."

Benji still has his arms around me, and I look up at him. "What if we had a fortune cookie right now? What would it say?"

"True love is not something that comes every day, follow your heart, it knows the right answer."

Benji hops off the platform and holds his arms out to me. I jump into his arms, and we kiss again as the sound of the crowd dies down around us as I get lost in Benji's kiss.

It's the perfect ending for me and the player. Through all the ups and downs, we ended up together— just as it should be. I was once teased by this player, but now this player is only playing with one— and he always will be.