Chapter 16

16

Grace

I stand completely paralyzed in my bedroom. The house is completely quiet except for the sound of Benji in the room next door to mine.

My hands shake as I grab a tissue from my nightstand and let out an audible sob. I get myself under control, blow my nose, and wipe my eyes.

What just happened?

I slowly open my bedroom door and pad quietly to Benji's doorway. His back is toward me as he pulls things off a closet shelf.

I clear my throat, and he turns to face me. He looks tired. His lip and cheek are swollen. "Do you want me to get you some ice for your cheek?"

Benji shakes his head. "No Grace. You should probably just get back to your room before your brother gets back and finds that I'm still here."

"So, that's it? You say you love me and you're just packing your bag and leaving me?"

Benji's shoulders drop and he lets out a breath. "It's probably best."

"Is it true? What he said? That you have a three-year-old?"

Benji lowers his gaze to the floor. "Yeah. A daughter."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I scowl. "You've been lying to me this whole time?"

Benji moves aside some clothing on his bed and plops down. "I was afraid you'd judge me. You'd think I was some kind of deadbeat dad since I'm not in my daughter's life full-time."

"It doesn't bother me you have a daughter." I swallow the lump in my throat. "What bothers me is that you lied to me— that you'd keep something like that from me."

"I should've told you."

I turn to leave and Benji jumps to his feet and grabs me by the wrist. "Listen to me. I wanted to tell you. I tried like a thousand times. I did."

I choke on a sob. "My brother was right. I should've never come here."

"I love you, Grace." Benji tries to pull me into him, but I push him away. "I never meant to hurt you." He still has my wrist in his hold.

I push the hair off my face. "I don't know what to believe. I thought we were starting a relationship but an important part of that is being able to trust each other." I wipe my nose. "It kills me to say it, but…" I shake my head as the tears flow freely down my cheeks. "I can't trust you," I whisper.

Benji releases my wrist, and I go quietly back to my room. I lay down on the bed and listen as Benji zips bags and opens and closes drawers. I hear him on the stairway and once again, the front door slams shut.

I hurry to my window and throw back the shade to peer outside. He throws his stuff in the backseat of his truck and takes off down the street.

The only sound in the house is my muffled cry as my hand covers my mouth. I run to my bed and dive down, my head hits the pillow. I wrap that quilt —the one that only just a short time ago he and I were snuggled under— and pull it close to my chest. The aroma of his soap is on the pillow.

I wail my cries into the quiet room and the sobs take over until my body eventually succumbs to sleep.

Benji

My stomach churns and my hands shake on the steering wheel. I have no idea where I'm even going.

Once Miles started with the punches and I saw the look on his face —disappointment, hurt, rage— I knew he wasn't open to hearing my side of it. I tried to make him listen, but I've never seen him so angry— so completely enraged. I considered refusing to leave the house when he kicked me out, but he's going to need time to calm down.

How the hell did this happen?

Of course, the worst part of everything is I've hurt Grace. I could barely look at her when she stood in my doorway after Miles stormed out of the house. When she confronted me about my daughter, her eyes momentarily held an ounce of hope that maybe Miles had made up the whole thing. Once I admitted it was true —that I have a two-year-old daughter— I could read the pain in her vacant gaze.

I've destroyed my chance with Grace. She said it right there— she can't trust me. I've made a big mess of everything, and I've not only lost my friend, but I've also lost my girl. I can't go on without Grace, but Miles will never let me near her again.

As I pull into the driveway of the 1800 House, I realize I've lost everything. I grab my bags and tap on the front door.

Cogan opens the door, and his eyes go wide. "Must be worse than I thought." He rubs his chin. "You look like shit, Benji."

"Thanks for letting me crash here until I can get things worked out."

"Of course. Team is family, man." Cogan moves aside and I step into the foyer.

He studies my face. "You've got it bad for her."

"You have no idea."