Epilogue

Epilogue

Titan

I CAN'T BELIEVE Cash won the fucking bet with me. I typically bet him because he tends to lose so it's an easy win. However, it's impossible to win when the deck is stacked against you. I should've known though because he was too eager to take the bet and he didn't bitch about washing my bike when he lost. That should've been a dead giveaway to me. I was stupid and not thinking properly. This shit is gonna fuck with me. However, I'm not one to back out of a bet for any reason. I lost and so as I sit with Hawk, Kendell, Cash, and Gideon, I set up a damn profile on one of the many dating apps. Fuck Cash! I hope we can bet again soon because I'm gonna hand his ass to him in a bet I know I'll win without a doubt. Though, I'm happy to know I'm not the only one who lost a bet and shit. Reaper is the only other one I know lost and he lost to his wife. I'm just not sure how many others bet against Hawk and his ol' lady.

It doesn't take me long to answer the questions, upload a photo, and all the rest of the bullshit I have to do. The very second I submit my profile, I'm getting notifications about women liking me or whatever the hell it means when they swipe left. Or right. Who the fuck knows how these things work. Instead of dealing with it now, I shove my phone back in my pocket after putting it on vibrate. I look across the table and Cash is laughing his ass off.

"Not one fuckin' word, Cash. I mean it," I growl out, my voice low and menacing so I don't scare Gideon.

"I'm not sayin' anythin', Titan. Just hearin' your phone go off like crazy is kind of funny. Out of everyone in the club, you're the one who's on your phone the least amount of time. Now, you can't just ignore that shit. You actually have to talk to a woman and go out on a date with her. Those are the conditions of the bet. But, I mean, if you don't wanna pick one of them, I'm sure I could find you one from the women already likin' your profile and shit," Cash tells me, his voice filled with laughter and excitement.

"Not fuckin' happenin'. I'm more than capable of findin' my own date. At least I know how to fuckin' date. You just fuck and bounce," I return as Cash covers Gideon's ears and Hawk and Kendell start laughing their asses off.

"He's heard far worse from Hawk, Cash. You really don't have to cover his ears. I've already accepted that he's going to grow up around a group of bikers who swear no matter who's around them," Kendell says as she finally manages to stop laughing for a few seconds.

"I'm outta here," I state, getting up and grabbing my empty plate and beer bottle.

Throwing everything away, I make my way out of the common room and up to my room here in the clubhouse. Closing and locking the door behind me, I slide my cut off and hang it on the back of my door. Removing my shirt and boots, I get on my bed and lay back before pulling out my phone and seeing what the hell is going on with this dating app. My notifications are still blowing up and I know this is going to fucking annoy me really quick. Cash wasn't lying when he said I'm rarely on my phone. I hate this damn thing so I only use it for club business. I don't have anyone else in my life who would go out of their way to contact me. And when I find a piece of strange for the night when I need a release, they don't ever get my number.

Scrolling through the women who have liked my profile, I instantly stop when I come across a profile. The girl in the picture has long, dark brown hair with those natural golden highlights in it. Her eyes are too large for her face and a hazel color I've never seen before. There's flecks of gold and green mixed in giving her an exotic look. The girl's long lashes are hidden behind a pair of black framed glasses and my mind goes into overdrive. One fantasy after another begins playing in my mind. Shaking my head, I take in her delicate looking pale skin as the tank top she's wearing does nothing to hide her ample chest. This girl isn't skin and bones from what I can see. She's got curves and is my type of woman. At least looks wise. Let's see what this girl is about.

I read her profile and discover that she's just finished school to become a vet and is an animal lover. She's spent her life rescuing one animal after another which led to her wanting to be a vet. Instead of dropping an injured animal off to someone else to take care of, she wanted to do it herself. I can't blame her there. She's been single for over two years now as she focused on finishing her degree and is ready to start dating again. I go through each line of her profile and every word I read only makes me want to get to know this woman more. There's just something about her and I can't put my finger on it.

"Fuck it," I murmur to my empty room.

I press the little icon thing to send her a message.

Me: Hello. My name is Adam, but I'm better known as Titan. I came across your profile as one who liked mine. I'm interested in learning more about you. Like you, I'm an animal lover. I don't read, but I will listen to you talk about books. I've heard about so many lately. Even when I didn't want to. I look forward to hearing back from you.

I honestly have no clue if that's a good message to send or not. It's different when I can walk up and talk to a woman. Watch her body language and reactions to our conversation. I can tell pretty quickly if a woman just wants to fuck me for a night or if she's looking for more. The ones I really stay away from are those who are filled with desperation. That's honestly not the vibe I'm getting from this girl. Setting my phone down, I don't bother looking at any of the other profiles. Once I have my mind set on a woman, I'm not one to play the field and all that stupid bullshit. If I'm talking to you, I'm only talking to you.

Before I can get up to take a shower, my phone vibrates on my chest where I laid it. Picking it up, I see it's a response from the girl I messaged. An excitement I haven't felt in a very long time fills me as I unlock my phone and go into our message thread.

Dallas: It's nice to meet you, Adam. My name is Dallas. No one calls me anything but Dallas. I did like your profile. This is all new to me and I honestly have no clue what the hell I'm doing. It's nice to hear that you're an animal lover. I'm actually trying to open my own clinic so I don't have to work under another person. I'd rather take care of the animals entrusted to me the way I see fit and not follow someone else's orders. I mean, there's always a time and place to follow orders, but not at work like that. Um, I don't know why I wrote that. I'm so nervous and my mouth, or fingers in this case, tend to run away from me and I lose the filter between my brain and mouth. I'm so sorry.

Me: That's okay. We could honestly have some fun with that kind of shit. It's honestly all new to me as well. I'm gonna be upfront and honest here. I made a bet with one of my club brothers and lost. The stipulation was we had to join a dating app and start talking to a girl before taking her out on a date. I don't want you to find out at some later time and get pissed at me because I kept this a secret. I'm an honest guy and you'll always know where you stand with me. What are you looking for in a guy?

Dallas: It's been so long, I don't honestly know what I'm looking for. My last relationship wasn't the best and it left a bad taste in my mouth. Yeah, I know you're not supposed to talk about your ex, but that's all I'm gonna say about him. If I had to choose, I guess I'm looking for a guy who's strong, independent, supportive (not financially), loyal, faithful, and loving. I'm independent and like to do my own thing at times. Like with reading. I want to be alone when I'm reading a book, but then I need to have someone to talk to about what I've read. I've tried joining book clubs and all that stuff, but they don't ever work out for me. No one wants to read the kind of books I like so it's just for me to read on my own and if I find someone I can talk to about it, then that's great. If not, I'll just move on to the next one. What are you looking for in a woman?

Me: I get it. I can say that I think I fit pretty much everythin' you listed there. I'm lookin' for a woman who's independent, is good with me havin' to leave suddenly, faithful, honest, loyal, carin', supportive, and isn't afraid to call me on my shit. Most people are intimidated by me and it doesn't make it very easy for me to meet people. I swear I'm not as scary as I look. Plus, I'm quiet for the most part. This is honestly the most I've been on my phone my entire life. Like I said, I don't mind if you talk about your books with me. I'm always interested in learning new things. Even if they are fictional. Do you ever think about re-enacting scenes you've read in your books? Or do you not read those kinds of books?

Dallas: You've got me over here blushing, Adam. Yes, I do read those kinds of books. The dirtier the better if you ask me. I've never had anyone that I would want to re-enact them with, but I'm not saying no. Like you, I think I fit most of what you're looking for. And I don't think you look scary at all. I noticed some tattoos, and that puts people off of others for some reason. I don't get it. Personally, I love looking at a man covered in ink. I'm still thinking about getting my first tattoo. I just haven't been able to find something I want permanently marked on my skin yet. Eventually I'll find something and get it put on my skin.

Dallas and I continue to message back and forth for hours. Talking to her is so easy and our conversation just seems to flow from one topic to the next. I can't remember the last time I simply enjoyed a conversation with a woman this much. Especially one I haven't even met in person. The time flies by and before I know it, Dallas is telling me it's two in the morning. Fuck! Yeah, I definitely didn't think we were talking that long. After telling her goodnight, I plug my phone into the charger and take a quick shower so I can go to bed. I've gotta be up early to meet with Eagle about Entice. There's some shit going on there and we need to get it stopped now before shit gets out of hand. It's happened before and we're not gonna let it happen again. Eagle has no problem firing people on the spot and bringing in all new staff if that's what it comes down to.

Dallas

Signing up for the dating app is a rash decision I made one night when I was lonely. I couldn't get into any of my books, I was feeling sorry for myself, and so I decided to say fuck it and sign up for one. Since creating my profile I haven't done anything with it. I've gotten some messages here and there, but that's about it. The guys who have messaged me just want a quick fuck and nothing more. That's not what I'm looking for. I want a guy I can hold a conversation with. Someone who's willing to put up with my kind of crazy and not think twice at the shit I say and do. Plus, it doesn't help when I'm not a size zero and I've got my fair share of curves. Add in the glasses and it's a major turnoff for most guys. So, I just kind of left the app alone and only go into it every now and then when I'm having a lonely night.

One night a week ago was that kind of night. I was sitting alone in my apartment, eating ice cream, and watching one chick flick after another. So, I pulled out my phone and opened the only dating app I'll allow myself to have. I was swiping through profiles until one stopped me dead in my tracks. The man has long dirty blond hair that was up in one of those man buns. Brilliant, bright blue eyes stared back at me from my phone's screen. He had a short, neatly trimmed beard. What really got me was the tattoos I could see peeking out of the collar of his shirt and the small silver hoop I saw hanging from his ear. Those two things led to all sorts of questions flying through my mind. So, I decided to say fuck it and swiped yes for his profile. Never in a million years did I think he would like me back and start a conversation with me.

Adam is so funny. When we talk, I still type and send some of the most random shit and he just goes with it. He'll either make a comment about what I've said or dismiss it and move on to the next topic of conversation. Talking to him is so easy and we often lose track of time when we're messaging back and forth. Not only is Adam funny, but he is brutally honest as he told me the first day we started talking. We call one another on our bullshit and don't let it piss us off. Adam is someone I can actually have a rational conversation with if we disagree about something. He doesn't just stop the conversation and block me. We talk it out. Plus, when I do lose the filter between my brain and mouth, and our conversation turns dirty, Adam has no problem adding to it.

We've shared fantasies with one another and he's asked me to send him the latest books I'm reading with page numbers of any scene I'd ever think about re-enacting. So, I sent him my five favorite books and the scenes I'd act out with him. Only him and no one else. I've never been comfortable even talking about sex with another person I've only talked to online. Yet, Adam makes it completely easy to do. He doesn't judge me or think I'm stupid if he starts talking about something and I have no clue what he means. No, I'm not very experienced when it comes to sex. I'm the fat girl according to more than a few guys. But, Adam doesn't make me feel like that's all I am. Without even meeting him, I feel sexy and desired by a man who can do so much better than me. It's a heady feeling and one I don't want to lose anytime soon.

Last night when we were talking, Adam asked me out on a date. Even if it's just to fulfill the stipulations of the bet he told me about, I really don't care. I want to go out with him and meet him in person. To see if he's the same way when we're face-to-face as he is over the dating app. I really hope he's the same in person because I'm truly enjoying our conversations and where I can see this going. Though, he hasn't seen me in person and only the upper portion of my body. So, he might decide to ditch me without meeting once he realizes I'm not the skinny, fit chick. I mean, it's not like I look that way in my pictures, but most guys feel that I'm lying to them somehow. Who the fuck knows where they come up with the shit that comes out of their mouths.

After running around all day looking at various properties I could possibly use to open up my clinic, I rush home to take a shower and get ready to meet Adam for dinner. He didn't even want to pick me up or anything the first time we go out. His reasoning is that he wants me completely comfortable and that means driving myself so if I decide I don't want to continue the date, I can just leave. I won't have to worry about him taking me back home, calling someone to come pick me up, or anything else. Honestly, I really liked his reasoning when he explained it to me. It does make me feel better to know that he thinks that way and isn't a selfish prick like some guys I've met. Not dated or even been remotely interested in, just guys I've met at school and other places throughout my life.

I shower and dress in a pair of new dark blue jeans with a black top that falls off one shoulder, I carefully apply a light layer of make-up. It's not something I typically deal with, but I want to look nice for Adam. So, I use some to emphasize my eyes more and apply a layer of mascara to my already long lashes. After applying some nude lip gloss, I put everything away. That's all I'm going to do tonight. I've curled my hair and leave it hanging down my back in soft curls. I hate wearing my hair up when I go out. If it's down, I can use it to shield myself and hide away from those surrounding me. Knowing I'm ready to head out, I check my phone for a message from Adam and don't see anything. Taking a deep breath, I slide on a pair of black stilettos and leave my apartment. Ready or not, I guess I'm back in the dating world.

I've been sitting at the diner we agreed to meet at for an hour now. The waitress is looking at me with pity every single time she makes her way over to the booth I chose. She's brought me a bread basket, something they don't even offer, multiple glasses of water, and is now on her way back again.

"Are you sure you don't want to just order, sweetheart?" she asks, leaving off the part about how I've obviously been stood up and my date isn't gonna show up.

"Yeah. I guess I will. Can I please have a cheeseburger, medium done with all the fixings for it on the side, an order of fries with gravy on the side, and a chocolate milkshake and slice of cheesecake? I'd like that all to go please," I tell her, sinking down in the booth as the door opens and I look to see a small group of beautiful women enter the diner with a biker following close behind them.

One of the women is pregnant with the most adorable baby bump. The man following them hasn"t taken his eyes off of her and it lets me know that's his woman. He's watching her like a hawk and doesn't let anyone other than the three women get close to her. They take a booth in the opposite corner from me and the man's eyes briefly wander over to my table. I quickly turn away because I have a feeling this man is in the same motorcycle club that Adam's in. He's told me that he is in a club, but that's about it. I don't honestly want to know anything more over some stupid app. Now, I don't want to know anything more about him period.

I know that I'm not the prettiest woman out there. However, I know that I'm a good person with a huge heart. Yeah, no guy wants the fat chick with a huge heart. I've heard it before. Many times before. Along with the fact that I should be eating a salad and working out instead of having whatever I want to eat and skipping the gym. To those men, I say kiss my ass. I'm a beautiful woman and they aren't man enough to handle all that I am. Apparently Adam isn't either. So, I pull out my phone and send him one more message before I not only delete our conversation, but the app itself. I'm done playing these games.

Me: Hello Adam. I don't know if you're okay or if something happened to you. But, I've been waiting at the diner for over an hour now. I really thought that we clicked and that you weren't like the rest of the men I've met over the years who finally get a look at me and decide they don't want the fat chick. That was my mistake and I won't be making it again. Not when it comes to you. Thank you for the conversation and making me laugh more times than I've had a reason to lately. At the end of the day, I know I'm a great person and I don't deserve to be treated this way. I deserve a man who isn't going to blow me off and will show up when he says he's going to. So, goodbye, Adam. I'm deleting everything so you won't be able to contact me any longer. In fact, this entire conversation will disappear. So, I don't even know why I bother to continue typing all of this out. Maybe I'll leave it up for an hour so you can read this and then I'll delete everything.

Sliding my phone back in my purse after sending the message, I try to hold back the tears as I see the waitress loading my food up in one of their plastic bags. Standing from the booth, I pull out the money I'll need to pay for my food while leaving a more than generous tip for my waitress. She's been an angel the entire time I've been here. I even watched her go off on one of her co-workers when she started mocking and teasing me. That's what really hurts the most in these situations. It's seeing everyone around you watch as you stupidly wait for a date who's not going to show up. Well, this girl is done waiting for a man who's not going to keep his word and show up when he says he will. After paying my bill, I leave the diner behind and head home. I'm more than comfortable being my own company and that won't change anytime soon.

The End . . . For now!