Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Kendell

THE LAST MONTH has been crazy as hell. While everyone in the club knows that Hawk has claimed me as his ol' lady, no one but Cash knows that we're married. It's not that we're hiding it from the club, we just want to keep this to ourselves right now because we have no clue what's going on with Martin's family and if they'll come after me for custody of Gideon. I've already had a cop here asking about where my sister and Martin are. Hawk was by my side the entire time and we gave them the evidence of abuse from the past and the day the club came to pick us up from Kelsey's house. My man handed over Kelsey's death certificate and made sure that the officer knew Martin was the one who killed her. The story we told him was that we were both kidnapped and that Martin killed my sister while he still held us captive. When the club came in to get him, he managed to escape and no one's seen him since. This told us that his family is looking for him and it's just a matter of time before they realize he's dead and not coming home again. We're prepared for that to happen. At least I hope we are.

Hawk has been keeping an eye on Martin's parents. He's assured me Greg, the Prospect, is no longer going to be a problem and we have nothing to worry about when it comes to him. I didn't ask any questions because I don't want to know. If he helped Martin get his hands on my sister, then I hope he's rotting in hell right next to Martin. Our only concern is his parents because they're assholes. I've only met them once at the wedding and that was more than enough for me. The mother is a vile piece of shit who believes everyone else in the world is beneath her. She made so many horrible comments about my sister and how she was nothing but a whore and a gold digger that it took everything in me not to beat the fuck out of her during the ceremony. Martin's father is just as bad as my brother-in-law was. He's an abusive piece of shit who doesn't give a fuck who sees him hurt his wife. Like his sons, he's never been held accountable for his actions because he just tosses money at the problem to make it go away. So, my husband has put trackers in place, constantly checks their financials, and everything else he can think of to know exactly where they are and what they're doing on a daily basis.

Gideon has still been going to counseling. Over the last month he's gone from seeing his counselor every day of the week to once a week. Gideon is almost completely back to himself and is keeping me on my toes. He's back to running all over the place, talking up a storm and learning new words every day, and his favorite thing to do these days is to hang out with Hawk and Cash. The second one of them steps into the clubhouse, Gideon rushes from my side and straight for them. Cash always jokes and plays with him while Hawk is quickly falling into his role as baby G's dad. It's a role he's decided to take all on his own and is thriving in it. Hawk puts him to bed, feeds him, plays on the floor, talks to him, and everything else a dad would do with their son. I've never seen him sexier than when he's in full on dad mode because he takes it so seriously.

Hawk and I have been working on making sure everything with the house is settled because we've decided to move forward and adopt Gideon. I know when all of this took place, I wanted to wait until my nephew was older and could give us his input into whether he wanted us to adopt him or not. Now, I don't think we need to worry about that. Gideon has learned to depend on us for everything and there's nothing we won't do for him. Hawk wants to make him ours before our baby gets here. That way we're not trying to go to court and all that shit with a newborn in the house. We already have a caseworker coming to our house every few weeks to ensure Gideon is being taken care of, that his allowance is being used for him and only him, and that we have everything in the house that he'll need. I've even gone and taken a few classes in safety and first aid on my own just so the caseworker doesn't have anything negative to say about our home, family, or that Hawk is a member of the Fallen Brethren MC. Honestly, she's very positive about our situation and compliments us every time we see her about how well things are going.

We've talked to the caseworker about adopting Gideon and she assures us that she'll put in a good word for us. She's recommended a good lawyer to handle our case as well. I was really nervous the first time our caseworker showed up to the house, but the visit went better than anticipated and we were able to assure her that we're doing everything in our power to provide a good life for my nephew who has been through so much already in his young life. I think what she's honestly most impressed with is the fact that we do have him in counseling and that he's been going since before we even met with Mrs. Devlin to go over the will my sister left behind.

This last month hasn't truly taken away all the pain and grief from our lives. Each day it gets a little bit easier to get out of bed and take a deep breath though. I talk to my nephew every day and share a memory of his mama with him. I've laughed, cried, and been so pissed at various times of every single day over the last month. There truly is no rhyme or reason for my mood swings. I'll literally just be sitting there and a memory or something will enter my mind and my mood instantly changes one way or another. Hawk has been there for each mood swing and everything else on a daily basis. He's been working more from home so he can be here for Gideon and I.

Everything is going great with the pregnancy. I'm just about out of the first trimester and while I'm still exhausted on a daily basis, I don't have morning sickness any longer. I can eat whatever I want and the smells don't turn my stomach the way they did even a few days ago. Dr. Morris has been keeping a close eye on things and everything looks really great considering everything that Martin did to me. Hawk goes to every single appointment with me and asks a million and one questions every visit we have with her. She's so damn patient with us and answers all of his questions without making him feel less than for wanting to know everything that's going on, what I should be feeling, and all that kind of stuff every single time.

When I'm not doing something for Gideon or Hawk, I've been spending time with the ol' ladies. Alex, Reagan, and Zoey are amazing women and they've taken me under their wing without hesitation. We hang out by the pavilion or in the clubhouse depending on what the weather's like. The kids get along and play together no matter where we are. Once a week we've started having a large family dinner at the clubhouse. We spend the entire day in there cooking and baking a large meal for everyone. Those are my favorite nights of the week because the entire club is together and we get to take a break from the world around us and not have the pressure to fend off an attack or something else that's going on outside the walls of the compound.

Everyone in the club has been helping me with a project that's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. With the backing of the club, I'm opening a music shop. It's going to have a huge music section, some instruments, sheet music, vinyl, band shirts, and so much other stuff. I've been in contact with a ton of vendors and the shipments are coming in almost daily now. Hawk doesn't let me lift anything because everyone knows about the baby now. Cash and him are constantly there to ensure all the heavy lifting is done by them as they renovate the storefront I'm using for my store. They've listened to me bitch, held me when I've cried, and been there to celebrate every milestone of this journey. Yesterday they installed the sign outside the store and it was a great day.

My shop is called Spin Again. It's in honor of Kelsey because she's the only one who ever knew my dream was to open a music store and every single detail about it. When we would discuss it, she would toss around names until she came across Spin Again. At the time we were getting into listening to vinyl a lot on our grandma's old record player and she would pick an album to listen to over and over again each day. So, the name was perfect for her because she would spin that music all day long until she knew every word to every song on the album she was listening to.

"Sparky! Where are you?" Hawk calls out, walking in the shop and pulling me from the thoughts circling my head today.

"Over by where the tee-shirts are going," I tell him as Gideon looks at me with a large smile on his face before ducking into the rack so he can surprise Hawk.

Hawk comes around the rack as I stand up from the box that I've been pulling shirts out of to hang up so the wrinkles are gone by the time the store opens in a few days. Pulling me into his arms, Hawk kisses me and doesn't hesitate to deepen it while he makes sure our bodies connect from our lips to our feet. There's not an inch between us and I can't stop the moan escaping me as he dips me backwards a little bit making my breasts press harder against his firm chest. I wrap my arms around his back and hold him close until he breaks the kiss and starts laughing. Looking down, I can't help but laugh with him.

Gideon has come out from under the clothes rack and wrapped himself around Hawk's leg. He's glaring up at him and it doesn't go away until Hawk takes his hands off my body. Then, my nephew and protector lets him go and gives him the biggest smile before reaching up for my husband to pick him up in his arms. For several minutes, Hawk tosses Gideon in the air catching him while making him think he's gonna drop him to the floor. It's a game they play often and my boy loves every second of it.

"What else do you have to take care of today, Sparky?" Hawk asks me when he finally puts Gideon down to play with his toys once again.

That's been the best part of this entire experience. Now that the painting and renovations are done in the main shop, I can bring Gideon here with me and let him roam around the floor while I put stock away and organize it a million different times to ensure things are exactly as I want them. I don't have to leave him behind at the clubhouse for someone else to watch or anything else. Soon, I won't get to spend as much time with him and it breaks my heart even though I know it's for the best.

Hawk and I just registered Gideon for pre-school when it starts back up again. He'll be four and it's time for him to socialize with kids his own age and start his education. We looked through all of the schools in the area for kids his age and talked to the administrators at each one before narrowing it down to two different schools. Yesterday we finally made our decision and completed the registration process. Next week we have to take him in to go through some testing to determine what he does and doesn't already know, if he's going to need a specialized education plan, which class he'll be in, and everything else that they do before a little one starts pre-school and their education.

"I just got a new shipment of records in that have to be put up in the bins. There's still the boxes of CDs that have to be put up where they go. And, I just got a ton of gift cards for various music sights that people use to download music. I don't even know where I'm going to put those or if there's some kind of display for them. I think there's a few instruments that have come in. Cash was supposed to put them in the back yesterday but I haven't found them yet," I answer my husband, stepping back and leaning against the wall because I'm exhausted just thinking about what I have left to do today.

"Okay. Well, I'm here now and I'll help you get this shit done. Cash is grabbin' lunch and he'll be over here. I think Kidd, Savage, Zoey, and Reagan are also on their way over to help finish gettin' all this shit set up. You've got two days before the doors open. Did you think of where you want the proceeds from the openin' day shit to go?" he asks, wrapping an arm around me again as I sink into his body instead of the hard wall. I really need to get a couch in here to sit on.

"That's great news. More hands to get this stuff done so I can go home and take a nap. I'm thinking that since Kelsey is the whole reason I'm in Clinton City and with you, the love of my life, I'd like to donate the proceeds to the warehouses. Anythin' to help the women and children already there and those who will use the services in the future. If there's something that they need or to pay for another counselor, anything the money can do to help the program out," I tell him as he presses his lips against my forehead as the bell above the door rings to alert us to someone coming in the store.

Hawk immediately puts his body in front of Gideon and me and has one hand behind his back to reach for the gun I know he always keeps there. Hawk's entire body is tense until he realizes it's Cash walking in the front door. I already knew it was him because of the smell from the food he's brought us. Cash has gone to the diner and has cheeseburgers. My mouth waters with the thought of getting to taste this delicious food. I hope he got me a chocolate milkshake. I've been wanting one so bad the last few days but have been too lazy to stop and get one on the way here or back home at the end of a long day.

"Cash, how much do you love me?" I ask him, moving around Hawk to see if he's got my shake with him.

"You know I love ya, girl. Are you askin' for any particular reason?" he returns, making Hawk growl out to show how unhappy he is with our joking around. "I mean, you wouldn't want to be butterin' me up for this, would you?"

Cash pulls out a large chocolate shake from behind his back. It's got so much extra whip cream on it that I'm surprised it's not sliding down the side of the cup where it overflows the top. There's no cherry because he knows I hate those things and the straw is already sticking out of the top of it. I grab the shake from him and take a large sip of the chocolatey goodness. Hawk takes the bag from his best friend and sets our lunch out, making sure Gideon's is cool enough for him to eat before handing it over to him. I quickly dig into the food because it feels as if I haven't eaten in days. It's only been a few hours since I last ate, and less than that since I had a snack. I carry snacks for Gideon and myself around with me everywhere I go these days.

After we all devour our lunch, the three of us get to work until everyone else shows up. With all the help putting on the final touches around the shop, it doesn't take long until we're done for the day and Hawk is leading me from the storefront and out to my car. Cash and him surround me as I drive home with Savage and the others following in his truck. I'm ready for a warm shower since I can't take a hot one, and then bed. Gideon is already passed out and I know he won't wake up while we get him out of the car and inside once we're back home. Our boy can sleep through almost anything.

"You get in the shower and I'll get our boy in bed after cleanin' him up and puttin' him in his pajamas," Hawk tells me as he gets Gideon out of his car seat and grabs my hand before leading us inside the house.

"Okay. I'm gonna pass right out today. I should've taken a nap before we went to the storefront but I thought I'd be okay. It looks like I was wrong," I tell him, stifling a yawn as we make our way toward our bedrooms.

"Tomorrow I'll make sure you take one, Sparky. I love you," he says, swatting me on the ass before turning into Gideon's room to get him around for bed.

"I love you more," I return, stripping out of my clothes on the way to the bathroom.

I stay in the shower for longer than intended. It's so long that Hawk joins me. He washes me from head to toe before making sure I'm rinsed off. After I do the same for him, Hawk spends time getting us dirty all over again. It's been a long time since we've had sex in the shower and I have to say I've missed it. Even if it's rushed and quicker than I'd like. Hawk still makes sure I get off before he does. Then we wash one another all over again before my husband helps me out of the shower, dries me off, and puts me into bed. Sleep quickly claims me and I don't bother fighting it off today. Not when I'm completely exhausted.