Chapter 2

"Like I told you before,rent is due on the first of the month. You get one warning, and then the next time you're out on your ass," Mason repeats for the fifth time since he brought me into my new rental.

I nod my head and ring my hands in front of me as I wait for him to give me the keys.

I'm not sure why I'm so nervous about getting my own place, but it feels like I'm about to throw up all over the place.

Finally, after a deep sigh, he hands me the keys and turns around to make his way to the door.

"If you have any problems with neighbors or anything like that, I'd try to talk it out with them first. They're not very friendly, but they have been known to get real crazy when folks call the cops on them. Just stay to yourself and you'll be fine," he warns me, and a small twinge of fear latches to the inside of my mind.

What the hell am I going to do if I do get into an altercation with them? It's not like I'm going to be able to fight or anything like that.

"Okay. I'm sure it'll be just fine," I do my best to put Mason at ease.

As my new landlord, I'm sure he's just looking out for the well-being of his home; the last thing he should have to worry about is an ongoing feud between me and the neighbors.

He stares at me in silence for a second before waving his hand and walking out the door. I watch him through the window as he got into his small sedan and drove off.

Then, like a gong going off in my head, I realized for the first time in my adult life I was alone.

I moved in with Giancarlo straight out of high school, and after he broke up with me six months ago, I've been couch-hopping. I've never been the type to think of myself as codependent, but the intense anxiety I feel looking around my newly rented house is enough to know I'm not going to have as easy a time doing this as I might have thought.

The house I rented from Mason is big enough for just me; it was all I needed and honestly a little more than I could afford.

I picked up a job at the local library that would be enough to pay my rent and little else.

After spending years being kept by Gian, I don't really have many skills that I can fall back on.

"It's going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine," I whisper to myself as I pull my shoulders back and hustle into the main living area. The kitchen, dining area, and living room are all one big space, leaving only the bathroom and bedroom with doors. Thankfully, the house came fully furnished, so I don't have to worry about buying furniture while I get back on my feet.

I pull the tarp off the couch, and a plume of dust comes wafting up into the air. Coughing violently, I wave my hand in front of my face trying to clear my eyes and my airway.

"You've got to be kidding me," I groan and look down at the couch I was given. It's something straight out of the 1970s.

It"s covered in plastic, and the print on it was absolutely atrocious. Letting my gaze roam around the room, I realize that nothing really went together. Sure, most of it was the same color or material, but it was all hand-me-down items. A small wooden table that looked like it'd seen better days, two wooden chairs where I could sit down to eat. The kitchenette came equipped with a dishwasher, but as I went over to inspect it, the smell alone let me know that it hadn't been used in some time.

"I can take care of all that later."

I pick up my one suitcase and walk into the bedroom. Again, just like the outside space, it was sparsely furnished, just a full sized bed, one dresser, and a nightstand.

With a sigh, I drop myself on the bed and am surprised by how firm the mattress is. It feels like a slab of concrete instead of the soft cloud I was used to sleeping on. There was no bounce to it at all.

"That's going to be fun to sleep on," I mutter.

Not wanting to dwell on the fact that I would be sleeping alone for the first time since I was a teenager, I grab my suitcase and made my way to the one closet.

The least I can do is put my stuff away. One thing at a time. That"s how I"m going to get through this.

Pushing the doors open I find myself staring into a set of beady eyes. I blink a few times as my brain tries to catch up with what I"m seeing and then all hell breaks loose.

Terror sweeps through my body. "Oh god!" I scream and squeal as loud as humanly possible as I jump and rush back over to the bed. I expected the closet to be small but functional; instead, I got a nesting ground for a small family of rats.

Three large rodents squeak in a chorus of chaos as they race out of the enclosed space, darting in separate directions in my room.

"No! No! Get out of here!" I scream and throw my suitcase at the one rat I can see

"My God!" I pounded my hand hard on the bed, hoping to scare it off, but all it did was squeak and once again try to find somewhere to hide. I punched the bed over and over, but soon the punching turned from me trying to scare the rat to me breaking down into gut-clenching sobs.

This was not supposed to be my life.

I had something great with Giancarlo. I had my happily ever after and it was ripped away simply because I wasn't good enough to carry his last name.

I collapse in a heap onto the bed, pulling my legs up to my chest into the fetal position. Hot tears run like a river down my face as I mourn for the life I used to have and the love of a man I could never have again.

* * *

"Are you familiar with our catalog system?" Maryellen asks, looking over the rim of her third cup of coffee this morning.

"No, but I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out," I offer up a sweet smile, which is only answered with a petulant eye roll.

Maryellen doesn't care for me. I knew that from the first day I started working here. She makes it seem like everyone who"s come before me was nothing but a bunch of lazy jerks, but in actuality, it"s her who was the lazy one. She didn't want to do anything and had no time to teach me what she thought I should already know.

Nevertheless, I was going to have to deal with her rudeness. After pounding the pavement for months this was the only job that would give me a chance. I didn't have the luxury of fucking it up simply because I didn't like my co-worker.

"Well what are you sitting here staring at me for. Get on with it. The books aren't going to put themselves away." Maryellen flips her hand in my direction and looks back down on her phone.

She'd downloaded an app on her phone that let her watch her stories without it being logged by the library's computer. She would do anything to make sure that she wasn't caught doing what she wasn't supposed to be doing.

I on the other hand was constantly looking over my shoulder even if I stepped off the floor for a second to go to the bathroom. It wasn't fair but it was what I'd have to deal with if I wanted to stay off the streets.

Grabbing the cart from where it was parked, I roll it into the stacks and start to put the well worn books away. This is the part of the job I hate the most. The quiet time. The time I get alone with my thoughts. All of them are saturated with Giancarlo. It makes sense since he was a constant in my life until a few months ago. Every memory I have of him feels like a knife being twisted in my gut.

Everyone says that things get better with time but it's not getting better. If anything I feel like the pain I'm in is just getting worse.

Halfway through the cart of books, I hear the tinkle of the bell over the door. Someone has come in. I expect it to be a child or a student and pay it no mind. Those are the only people that visit the library nowadays.

"I'm sure the information I found online is correct. Perhaps there's someone here who would be able to show me the section."

Instantly, my ears perk up as I listen to the conversation. It was a man speaking. The deep tenor of his voice made it clear that this wasn't some child or teen fresh out of puberty. It was a grown man.

The sound of his voice washes over me like warm milk and I find myself leaning closer to the opening of the aisle just so I can hear a little better.

"I already checked the system. That's a specialty book, I'd have to order it from a different branch." Maryellen says, her voice softer than I've ever heard it.

"I see well maybe I'll just look around in the section and see if anything else catches my eye. I can't be too caught up." He laughs and the deep rumble has my heart fluttering in my chest. I'm no stranger to a sexy voice but the last man who had me feeling even a part of what I'm feeling right now was Giancarlo.

"Oh, crap, I can't leave the front." Maryellen replies sounding a little disheartened.

Without really thinking about it, my feet shuffle forward and I find myself out in the aisle where everyone can see me.

"I can try to help," I say loud enough for both of them to hear me.

The man turns his head and the chorus of "hubba hubba" continues on repeat. He's gorgeous from what I can see. Dark wavy hair, piercing blue eyes and nice full lips framed by a thick well trimmed beard.

"No, she's not going to be able to help you. She's new here." Maryellen says trying to get the man's attention away from me. I'm not going to fight her for it. The man may be gorgeous but there's no part of me that's ready to start anything with anyone. Not yet.

"That's okay, maybe she can show me something else I'd be interested in." The man smiles at me and it's not lost on me the innuendo lacing his words. If anyone else had said that it"d be considered creepy but this man has such a confident charm to him that it didn't bother me much.

Slowly he walks in my direction and I take a quick glance over his shoulder to see Maryellen glaring at the both of us. Her arms crossed over her chest and her cheeks getting darker and darker red as the seconds tick by.

The immature part of me wants to stick my tongue out and blow a raspberry in her direction but I hold myself together. I can't lie, it feels good to take something she wants. Even if I have no use for it.

My attention is drawn back to the man in front of me when he gets close enough I can smell his intoxicating cologne.

Loneliness is a hell of an emotion. It can cause someone to do all sorts of things they wouldn't normally do such as lean in and take a whiff of a man you don't know simply because he smells good.

He chuckles softly but doesn't move away from me. "If every woman has the same reaction you do to this scent I'm going to have to buy stock in the company that makes it.

"Oh, I'm sorry that was so rude of me." I step back and shake the silliness out of my head.

"Don't worry. I love it when beautiful women compliment me." He smiles again and for the life of me, I can't remember what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.

How the hell can someone's teeth be so damn perfect?

"So, do you think you'll be able to help me find the section I'm looking for?"" He questions and once again I have to shake myself out of my stupor.

"Uh, I can try, but like Maryellen said I'm new here so I don't know if I'm going to be able to help very much."

"I think you"re going to be able to help me with exactly what I need."