Chapter 13

I"ve touched the flames;now all I can do is burn.

This is precisely why I didn"t want to be anywhere near Giancarlo. It took me months to even start getting on with my life, and with just one night with him, it feels like the pain has started all over again. I"ve cleaned my house from top to bottom, even rearranged some furniture, but it feels like Gian"s aura is all around me.

I"m looking for him behind every corner, staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring with his name on the screen, everything that I was doing months ago even though I know he won"t be there.

Depressed and completely at my wits" end, I lay in my bed and try to force the images of Giancarlo from my brain. I need to get out of the house, need to be active. As if the universe somehow heard my prayer, my phone begins to ring. Nearly falling out of my bed to get to it, I grab it, only a little disappointed when I see it"s not Giancarlo calling me but Jasper.

"Hello," I answer, doing my best to put some fake happiness in my tone.

"Hey, I haven"t heard from you in a couple of days. Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I"m fine. Just a little swamped at work," I lie. Work has been as boring as ever, but at least Maryellen didn"t say anything about me not finishing the books the other night. I doubt she even noticed.

"I hear you. So what are you up to?"

"Tonight, nothing. I was just going to lay down for bed." I look out the window and realize the sun has barely set. It"s way too early for me to go to sleep.

"Already? Wow, you do like your sleep." Jasper chuckles, and like every time before, his voice soothes me. I need to be focused on him, not on Giancarlo, who I know I"m never going to get back.

"I told you before, I"m boring. You"re the one who wanted to date me." I laugh along with him.

Jasper stays on the phone with me for about an hour. It"s one hour I don"t think of Giancarlo, and it feels like the reprieve I"ve been waiting for. As the conversation dies down, the fear that I"m going to be left alone with my thoughts hits me again. I can"t deal with that right now.

"Well, now that you"ve got me awake, how about we hang out a bit?"

"I didn"t want to push. I wasn"t sure how you were feeling after our last date. Usually, when a woman ignores you for two days, it means it didn"t go as well as it might have."

"Oh no, it"s nothing like that. I had a great time with you."

"You want to go out for dinner? Tonight?"

"You sound unsure," I tease him.

"Like I said, you"re a hard one to crack. I don"t want to push," he says again, and I truly appreciate his effort. It"s nice to have someone giving me the option and not just telling me what to do.

Giancarlo was dominant in our relationship, but I can"t put all the blame on him. I loved being kept, taken care of. Still, it"s a nice change to be able to make my own decisions and for someone to take my word into consideration.

I look around my room one last time. I know what will happen if I stay in for the night. More brooding, more tears. At least with Jasper, I have something to look forward to.

"Yes. I"d like to go on a date with you tonight." A slight warning goes off in my mind. Giancarlo told me to stay away from Jasper, but then again, Gian also told me that I belonged to only him. I"m not going to allow him to rule my life when I have no stake in his.

"Great! I can pick you up? Or where do you want to go?"

"Actually, there"s a new place not far from my house that I can meet you at. It"s a new fusion Asian spot. How about I meet you there in half an hour?" I didn"t want to wait a long time to get out of the house; I wanted to be out of here without having the chance to stew on what might be with Giancarlo.

"Okay, works for me. I"ll be there." Jasper sounds just as excited as I am. Is this what it"s like to have someone in your life without the threat of harm or injury? There"s no danger when it comes to Jasper. It"s a different feeling for me.

By the time I hang up the phone with Jasper, I"m already rushing to the small closet, grateful that the rats have found a new place to call home. I pull out a pair of jeans and a silky top. It"s not the best outfit I have, but it"s attractive enough. Rushing through my shower and doing my hair, I"m out of my house in less than twenty minutes. I"m surprised to see Jasper waiting for me when I get there.

"Wow, that was quick," I say as I make my way over to him.

"I was excited," he admits, looking a little sheepish as he does.

"Me too, come on, let"s go in." I entwine my arm with his, and we walk into the restaurant like a couple.

I shoot a glance over my shoulder just before we enter. A last attempt to make sure Giancarlo isn"t anywhere around. I"m hoping the plans were so last minute it didn"t give him a chance to make it over here in time. Then again, Giancarlo rarely does anything I expect him to do. He could be waiting in the restaurant for us.

"Hey Rosie, you still with me?" Jasper asks, and I realize he"s holding the door open for me.

I shake my head and give him the best smile I can muster. There"s nothing I can do about Giancarlo right now. I only hope he doesn"t show up and make a fool of himself.

I don"t have the effort to worry about him right now. I have to focus on Jasper; after all, he"s the one deserving of my attention right now. The one who showed up trying to make everything all better.

Two hours into the dinner at the restaurant, everything is going perfectly with Jasper and me. He asked me about my childhood, and I spoke to him about his hobbies. It was all very normal. Thankfully, Giancarlo is nowhere to be seen.

* * *

The cool night air invigorates me, and I find myself laughing more than I have in months as Jasper and I walk toward his car.

"I had a great time today," I admit.

The laughter dies down, and I feel Jasper tensing beside me. "That"s good. I"m glad. So did I."

He lets out a sigh, and I stop to look at him. It"s obvious he"s got something else on his mind. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it"s just I"m not sure I"m going to be able to muster the courage later."

"Courage?"

I"m confused and don"t see the signs. Jasper stops in front of me, and even though he moves slowly, it"s faster than I can process. He moves in to kiss me. At the last second, I turn my head away.

"I... I"m sorry. I wasn"t expecting... I..." My words come out in a rushed mess. I don"t know what"s wrong with me. I enjoyed my time with Jasper, but the thought of kissing him, being intimate with him, feels like a knife twisting in my gut. "I"m sorry."

"That"s fine." He steps back and takes his place by my side again.

"Tonight was great, Jasper, I just need more time." Even as the words come out of my mouth, I realize how ominous they sound.

How much time? When will it ever be long enough for me to get over Giancarlo? I just can"t see it ever happening.

"I know. Like I said, I"ll wait." He shrugs his shoulders but won"t look in my direction. Of course, I"ve hurt his feelings. He went out on a limb, and I basically stomped on the branch.

"There"s always next time." He finally looks over at me and gives me a smile. Except it doesn"t reach his eyes. They"re blank.

I"ve screwed this up already, before I even gave him a real chance.

Feeling like a complete jerk, I pull away from him.

"My car is that way," Jasper points, but I shake my head.

"Actually, I think I"m going to walk. I need to clear my head. You know, think." It"s a poor excuse to get away from him, but I"m embarrassed enough as it is. I don"t want to put him through having to continue small talk with me after I"ve just rejected him so coldly.

"Rosie, it"s fine. I promise you. I"m not hurt or anything." He reaches his hand for me again, but I don"t grab hold.

"I know. I believe you. I just have to do this for myself. It"s not you." I stop myself before I finish the cliché. This is turning out worse than I thought it"d be. All I want to do right now is run home and bury my head under my pillow. The whole date is ruined.

"Okay, I understand. At least send me a text message when you get home, so I know you"re safe."

"Of course." I smile and lean forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. It"s not what he wanted, but it"s something.

I watch as Jasper walks across the street, his shoulders still tight with tension, and get into his car. I give him a nearly platonic wave as he starts it up and drives off.

I heave a sigh, and the smile I have plastered on my face drops off. It"s harder than I thought it would be to keep up appearances, yet the minute Jasper is gone, I"m in my head again.

"So stupid!" I slap my forehead hard with the heel of my hand.

There"s no way to come back from something like this. Even if Jasper is still interested in me, the embarrassment of being shot down the way I did will probably make him more than a little hesitant to try things with me again.

I could take the bull by the horns and make the first move myself, but that"s never been in my nature. I"m the one people take control of, at least that"s how Gian trained me to be.

Sure, I fight back from time to time, but we both knew that I"d eventually give in.

I shove my hands in my pockets and turn toward my house. It"s only three blocks away from here, not very long for me to think about what went so wrong tonight.

It also doesn"t take long for me to feel like I"m being watched.

I roll my eyes, stop for a second just to make sure I"m not going crazy. Sure enough, the feeling of someone being behind me stays.

I didn"t see Giancarlo when Jasper and I went into the restaurant, but that doesn"t mean he didn"t show up while we were eating. I bet he"s getting a big laugh out of me turning Jasper down.

Slowly, the anger of being played starts to build inside of me. I may not want to admit that Giancarlo has so much hold over my life, but there"s no denying it. He"s still deep under my skin, and it pisses me off. I"m nothing to him. He"s got a wife now. I hate that he still has this hold over me.

If he wants to play these games, he can play them with himself. Picking up my pace, I continue walking in the direction of my house. With every step, I get more and more angry at the situation I"m in. I just want to live my life. I want to be happy. I want Giancarlo to leave me the fuck alone.

I turn the corner to my house; my first thought is to just go in and ignore Gian, but I"m tired and aggravated by the lengths he"ll go to just to keep me in line. It"s time to stand up for myself.

Suddenly, I turn on my heels, expecting to see him right behind me, "Gian, I--" My words are cut off as I"m confronted with a man standing not more than two feet in front of me.

He"s wearing a mask and all black clothing.

Not Giancarlo.

The man"s hand is over my mouth before I can suck in a breath to scream.

My heels drag on the ground as he pushes me into a backyard, hanging clothes and linens swipe across my face, making it even harder to get a look at the person in front of me.

My fight-or-flight response kicks in, and I swing my arms and legs, trying desperately to get away. I bite down hard, but it does nothing to get the man to release me. Instead, he kicks my legs out from under me and slams me hard on the damp dirt. All the air explodes out of my body as he lands on top of me.

A heavy hand comes up and presses down on the back of my head, pushing my face further into the dirt. I cry in pain. There"s a rock or something hard underneath my face, and I feel it digging into my flesh.

"You should"ve let him go." The man behind me growls in my ear. His voice so rough I can barely make out the words.

His free hand grabs hold of the silk shirt I"m wearing, and I feel him pulling it hard. The fabric tears, but not all the way. He pulls again, trying to disrobe me.

This can"t be happening. I have to fight. I have to do something.

As the man settles himself over me again to try and get the shirt off, my head comes up from the dirt just a little more, and I suck in a deep breath. Soil and debris coat my mouth, but I can"t focus on that; instead, I let out a scream so loud it echoes.

"Shut the fuck up!" The man growls again and pushes my face further down in the dirt.

The air burns my chest as I struggle to keep breathing. I claw at the dirt under me. Just as I reach forward, looking for something I can pick up and hit the man with, a bright light pops on in front of me.

"What the hell is going on out here?" A deep, elderly voice barks.

The man above me stills before leaning down near my ear once again.

"The Bianucci"s are going to burn, and if you don"t stay away, you"ll be caught in the flames. Be smart, Rosie." Just like that, the man is off me and running away.

"Oh, my god. Miss, are you okay? Shit." Footsteps race in my direction, but I can"t move from the position I"m in on the ground.

They"re coming for me. Even though I"m nothing to Giancarlo, I"m still a target.

But this time, he"s not here to protect me.

I know how this family works, I"ll never get away.

I"m as good as dead.