8. Skyler

For the last ten years, we have had a standing tradition of watching the game at Josh’s place.

It started in high school, at his parents' house. When he moved across the road to his first house, we moved over there, too.

But time marches on and sometimes it goes round and round. Because Josh’s parents moved out and he moved back into his childhood home.

And our football gatherings are back at the big house. It’s still a mind fuck coming here. I can’t decide if I feel like a twenty-six-year-old or a sixteen-year-old.

Aside from a few inches of height, and a few bushy beards, we all look more or less unchanged.

Is this how it’s always going to be? Will we be like an aging still-frame? Beards and broad shoulders today, beer bellies and balding heads tomorrow? Still in the same place, sitting in our assigned seats on the couches?

There is one change and thank God for it, the guys have started introducing new blood into our little group. Josh remarried two years back and Erin has been a little redheaded ball of flame. Bo ended up with one of our classmates, Andy Reed of all people, and that’s strange, too. She and I went to the same babysitter as kids, but in high school, we never really talked. She was one of those bookworms and we were just a pack of jocks.

We went from living in two separate worlds, to inhabiting the same, cramped space. Life’s funny like that.

Dusty settling down might be the funniest joke yet.

Funny, because he was our resident lady’s man. The one who vowed he’d never commit to one woman. But that was before he met Marnie Black. She’s ten years older than him and apparently, just what he needed. Where we used to have a callous jokester, we now have a softer, more sensitive version.

It’s unnerving. But good. I suppose.

But that leaves me. The pressure is growing. There’s this feeling that I’m being left behind, that the sand is slipping through the hourglass and if I don’t get my shit together, I won’t ever. And I don’t want to miss the boat.

But still, l love this time of year. Always have. Nebraskans don’t have any pro teams. That’s why we’re committed to the Cornhuskers, for better or worse.

Lately, it’s mostly been worse, but we still have hope.

And it’s not just the football, harvest is gearing up which means an entire year’s worth of work is coming to fruition. There’s nothing more satisfying than looking back at a harvested field, stalks shorn to the ground and knowing that you’ve checked the last box.

Erin’s baked her famous cinnamon rolls and between that and the smell of the first flush of leaves outside, it feels like fall is in full swing. I glance out the big picture window, at the golden sunset and realize that everything is perfect. Just perfect.

So, why am I so unhappy? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Bo comes over, passing me a beer. He leans on the doorframe next to me, his gaze trained on Josh’s little sister, Reese. He scratches at his beard, casting his voice low. “I saw Reese at Tia’s the other night.”

I take a swig of beer. “And?”

“And she was on a date.”

Bo waits until he has my attention. “With Tyson Kyle.”

“You’re fucking kidding.”

“Wish I was.”

Tyson has a bad reputation for loving them and leaving them. The fact that he would mess with one of our girls has me seeing red. I pause. “Isn’t Reese engaged or something? To that praise band leader or whatever?”

Bo clicks his tongue. “He dumped her.”

Who the fuck would dump a sweetheart like Reese Olson?

I glower in her direction. “Well, that ain’t no reason to date a trash panda like Tyson Kyle.”

Bo huffs. “My thoughts exactly.”

We watch Reese chatting with Erin. They’re sisters-in-law now. Erin passes the new baby, Belle, to Reese who looks like the picture of innocence. Sweet face. Hair in tight braids. That baggy hoodie goes past her ass, skimming over jeans. And one of her converse sneakers is untied. She’s like a grown version of the kid sister we all grew up with.

“I can’t picture her with Tyson.”

Bo shrugs, shaking his head. “She was dressed to kill; I’ll tell you that much. Not that I was looking, but if I was, I’d say she ain’t a little girl anymore.”

I frown at that, glancing back at Reese. “How is that even possible?”

Bo smiles. “She’s growing up. Maybe you should consider doing the same thing.”

I look over at him, not liking the direction this conversation is taking. “Growing up is overrated.”

“Andy said she tried to hook you up with her cousin. She said you didn’t even blink before you said no.”

“Andy talks too much.”

Bo shrugs. “One of the things I like about her. What’s your deal, though? She said you wouldn’t even look at a picture of Katelin.”

“I’m not a charity case, Bo. I can find my own women.”

“You’ve yet to prove that.”

I could tell him that I go on dates on a weekly basis. That I haven’t had a dry spell that lasted longer than five weeks. But I don’t like the attention. I don’t like people being up in my business. So, I’d prefer he think I’m lonely and celibate.

Bo toys with the label on his beer. “You keep saying Silver Bend is a dud town, but maybe you’d be happier if you weren’t so lonely.”

“Who said I’m lonely?”

I am, though. And he’s right. I want what Josh has. A full house. A sweet little baby with my dark curls and her eyes. Whoever she is. I just need to find her. I’m tired of waiting for life to begin.

Dusty taps a spoon on his beer bottle, sending a hollow chime through the room. We all quiet down and look at him. He’s not usually so formal. He slides an arm around Marnie’s waist, hand curving over her tummy. My eyes track the movement and I know what he’s going to say before he opens his mouth.

They’re expecting.

Baby’s due in February.

The wedding will be the following June.

Which means I’m officially the last man standing.

And come hell or high water, I’m going to have a date for that wedding. A serious girlfriend.