11. Reese

I can see that I’ve shocked Skyler into silence. Not a big accomplishment, since he’s the strong, silent type. But still.

A response would be nice.

Something along the lines of ‘cool tattoo’. Or, you’re out of control.

Something. Anything.

The silence is worse than a rebuke. It makes me feel like I’ve gone straight past the deep end right to the center of the earth.

“I guess it’s pretty lame to have an identity crisis now, but I feel like I was on a conveyor belt, just doing the next thing. When Jonah broke up with me, it sort of knocked me off the track.”

Skyler shifts away, still ominously quiet.

That’s just as well. Maybe I just need to monologue with a captive audience. “I grew up with these values ingrained in me, and I’m just starting to realize… that’s not me. It’s my parents. It was Jonah. But it’s not me. I want more freedom. I want to decide what kind of person I’m going to be. And I’m sick of all the fucking rules. They haven’t served me. Like… at all. So, it’s like, fuck it. I’m going start living and stop being so afraid of making mistakes.”

He clears his throat, still stiff as a board. “What kind of mistakes are you talking about?”

“The dating kind.”

I tilt my head. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Date and all that?”

He clears his throat again, sitting up taller. He straightens his jeans, adjusting again like he’s sitting on a bed of nails. “I don’t really date.”

“Lies.”

He frowns slightly; the glare giving way to the faintest of smiles. “Not around here, anyway.”

“Yeah. Learned that one the hard way. Don’t do local dates. But how do you find your women?”

His brows knit together again. “What women?”

“Oh, please, Skyler. That innocent monk act might work on the guys, but you aren’t fooling me. I know you’re still getting action. What I want to know is how.”

He flushes, rubbing the back of his neck.

I reach out and jostle his knee. “Why are you being so awkward about this? It’s just me.”

He delicately removes my hand from his leg. “Yeah, that’s kind of the problem. You’re like a little sister to me and you’re asking me how to pick up men and it’s all a bit…”

“Well, who should I ask? Tyson Kyle?”

“No.”

He snaps. Scrubbing a hand over his face, he sighs. “Sometimes I meet women on work trips.”

“How?”

He shrugs, looking surly. “I don’t know. At the bar?”

“You don’t use the apps?”

“Sometimes.”

He looks exasperated.

“Show me.”

“No.”

I glower at him. “Why not?”

“It’s not safe. You could meet the wrong man. Some of those guys are real dirt bags.”

“It’s safe enough for the women you want to fuck but not me? Those girls are somebody’s little sister, too.”

He frowns at me. “Are you trying to talk me out of using those apps, or trying to get me to show you how to use them?”

I flop back, frustrated. “Did you go to RayAnne’s wedding this summer?”

He narrows his eyes, trying to keep up with my spaghetti logic. “Yes.”

“She was forty when she got married. And good for her, but Skyler, I don’t want to wait that long to have a love life.”

“You won’t have to.”

“Easy for you to say.”

He reaches out and tugs my braid. “I’m single too, remember? There’s a lot of pressure, I’ll admit it, but don’t let it push you into doing something stupid.”

“Having sex is stupid?”

He sighs loudly. “Back to this topic again.”

“I’m serious.”

I sit upright. “You’re out there sowing your wild oats like it’s your job.” He frowns at that, but I push on. “And if I say I want the same thing, you tell me it’s stupid.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I think it’s exactly what you meant.”