11. Chapter 11

RAPHAEL

The day doesn’t pass fast enough for me as I try to keep my head screwed on straight, Karla reminding me several times regarding meetings I nearly miss. Atlas promises to wait until I’m finished so that I can ensure he has a ride but I’m half-waiting for him to message me and say that something has come up.

When a small knock sounds on my door at 6 pm, I frown, hoping that it’s not someone with a last-minute tech problem. As much as I know about the technology that the business creates and supplies, I do best working with the investors and our finances. “Yes?”

The door creaks open, a head full of curls peeking through until brown eyes meet my hazel ones. “Hi,” Atlas whispers before slipping inside and closing the door behind him. He’s wearing his bag on his back, a silly grin on his face before he steps forward. “I didn’t want to wait in the lobby. This is okay, right? You have work to finish and I need to study.” Atlas tightens his fingers around his bag as he speaks.

“I would never make my boyfriend wait in the lobby like a barbarian. You’re welcome to sit anywhere. I shouldn’t be that much longer.” I watch as he all but skips over to the small couch in the corner of my office. My father had it set up in front of his desk as a meeting space but it feels so forward. Atlas pulls out a thick textbook, flipping through several pages before he starts to read. His shoulders are tense as he huddles over the book, brows furrowed in intense concentration.

He looks fucking adorable.

I refocus my attention on a merger that includes a contract far longer than I have time for. Still, I make my way through it, circling parts that are too outlandish for me to even think about. A few of the clauses are impossible and the current page has more spelling errors than a second-grader’s English report.

Something thuds to the floor and I look up to see Atlas grabbing his bag and setting it back onto the couch. His eyes dart around the cozy space before he sucks in his bottom lip and then stands up. He’s both uncomfortable and anxious. I assume it’s about the event and it might make me a terrible person but this is one of my favorite parts about Atlas.

“Did you know that flies hum in the key F major? I didn’t. Found out yesterday. Maybe it was the day before.” His eyes widen as he turns to look at me while chewing on his bottom lip. “I already told you that one, didn’t I?” He opens his mouth to spout another one as I snort and make my way over to where he is.

Atlas sucks in a breath, waiting for me to take the lead just as he mumbles something about hyenas. “Atlas, take a deep breath for me. There you go. What’s got you startled?” I rub a hand up and down his back, trying to soothe his panic. He hasn’t broken out in random facts in a while and as funny as it is to watch, I’m always worried that something has seriously upset him.

It’s usually nothing but we took a very big step yesterday and will be taking an even bigger step tonight.

“Nothing. Everything? There’s going to be a lot of people there, Raphael. I don’t do people. I don’t even have a suit and I just…” Atlas cuts himself off, his breathing quickening slightly. His fingers dig into my waist as his head falls to my chest. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

I take the chance to run my fingers through his curls, the movement calming both of us as Atlas melts farther into my hold. “I don’t want to cheapen this, little one. So, I need you to answer my questions. Honestly.” Atlas hesitates and then nods so I continue. “Do you have a suit?”

“No,” he mumbles. He doesn’t move but he doesn’t seem ashamed, just overwhelmed.

“And if I gave you one to wear?”

“So I don’t embarrass you?”

He’s so frustrating sometimes. I shake my head as I tighten my grip in his hair and pull his head back just enough so that he can see my expression. “Because it’s the dress code, little one.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, we aren’t going together. I was going to call a car and have it bring you to the venue. As much as I want to show you off, doing so at such a big event might not be the way to start.” I step away from him, feeling bereft of his warmth but knowing that staying with Atlas pressed against me is going to start something we don’t have time for. I reach for the suit hung up on the wall beside mine, wondering what Atlas will think. I prepared it this morning when he said he wanted to go—rather, I asked Karla if she could order a suit here in his size.

Atlas stares at the black covering as I lay it on the edge of the couch. “You don’t want to go with me because you’re embarrassed of me? The same car, I mean.”

“Why are you stuck on that? Atlas, look at me. You’ve mentioned that a few times now. I am not embarrassed of you but you made it very clear you didn’t want to be a trophy and that’s what they’ll make you into. A publicity stunt and you are so much more than that.” Atlas starts chewing on his bottom lip and I fight the urge to pull it out. “Let’s get you dressed and then I’ll call up a car. Or you can take the bus if that makes you feel more comfortable.”

His nose scrunches up as he ponders that and I can see that all these decisions are just making him more anxious and a little more frustrated. “I don’t want to take your suit on the bus.”

“It’s your suit, Atlas.” I see where my words go wrong the moment they leave my lips. “This isn’t about what you told me earlier, Atlas. If we’re dating, there will be numerous boring events to attend. It’ll always be your choice whether or not you do but this is one of those things. I bought it because you’ll need it. Not because I’m trying to do something you can’t. On short notice, I used connections that are beneficial and I won’t apologize for that.” It’s as if that explanation is everything he needs, Atlas gathering up the black covering against his chest.

“I’m sorry. I just… Money makes things easy and I don’t want to get used to it.”

“And I respect that. Go get changed. I know they say ‘fashionably late’ but I’d prefer not to be.” I throw him a warm smile, wondering what he’ll do with those words. Atlas is nothing if not unpredictable at times. His brown eyes flash with excitement, a complete 180 from the panic he was just dealing with.

“Raphael-”

“Stop being difficult and go change, little one.” Using his pet name shows him that I’m not angry and gives him the choice of whether to end this blossoming moment or continue it. As much as we should probably be on our way to the venue, I’d rather be right here with Atlas, spending time with the man I’ve fallen for.

A wild grin splits across his face and I can’t help myself, walking toward him so that he steps back and falls to his ass on the couch. I lean over him, placing both hands on the back of the couch so that there’s no way to escape from me. He lies back against the cushions, head tilted up so that his gaze meets mine and I nearly fall prey to those full lips and the pink tongue that darts out to lick them. “If people weren’t waiting on me, I would take you apart for being difficult. Knowing that you’re doing it on purpose makes me want to spank that bratty ass of yours into submission.”

I bite my tongue before this goes further. We’ve never taken a step in that direction. I’m not a dom and I don’t enjoy truly dominating my partner unless there’s a playful aspect to it. Being able to be a little rough and making my partners fall apart time and time again is what I love. What I crave. The pushback that Atlas constantly gives me is everything.

“I apologize, Atlas. That was too much.” I heave a sigh but he shakes his head.

Atlas places a hand on my chest before his fingers curl into the lapels of my suit jacket. “Not too much,” he whispers. Oh. So, he’s interested in walking down that road? Good to know.

I press a light kiss to those moistened lips. “I love you, Atlas. I know we’ve been skirting around those words for a while but I want you to hear them, loud and clear, from me.” Those brown eyes widen again as his fingers tighten, the other one reaching up around the back of my neck and playing with the hair there. “What are you doing, little one?”

“I love you too. So much. I thought maybe this was ending, that you didn’t want to show me off but I was so wrong. I love you, Raphael.” This time, Atlas kisses me and it’s not the sweet, passionate one I’d expect from him. It’s hungry and needy, Atlas drawing me into him. If I don’t stop him, I very well might carry him to the bed in the adjacent room and we won’t be attending any event tonight. Atlas pulls away first and scampers toward the bathroom, leaving me to adjust myself so I don’t embarrass the both of us when we leave this room.