Chapter 10

10

Tank

C larke scarfed down the breakfast Beck made us like she'd never eaten something so good before. And honestly… the food was damn good. Beck was great in the kitchen. If there'd been more to eat, I probably would've scarfed that down, too, and that wasn't just because my stomach was basically a bottomless pit.

The boy had a gift for cooking.

The only thing that made breakfast suck was that Beck avoided my gaze as if looking at me would make him burn alive on the spot and he was trying to protect himself. But fuck, I hadn't meant to react to him like that—not where he could feel me, anyway. But the way he'd moaned after taking a sip of the coffee I made him, it sent all my blood rushing to my cock before I was even fully aware of it.

Unfortunately, that one slip-up, not moving back from him fast enough, had fucked up everything. Did he even trust me anymore? I couldn't properly protect him if he didn't trust me one hundred percent to take care of him and keep him safe… even from me.

Fuck, I'd never do anything to him. Nothing he didn't want, at least. I would never do anything to make him or Clarke feel unsafe.

But I had already, hadn't I? Unintentionally, for sure, but I'd definitely broken a little bit of the trust Beck had in me.

Goddammit .

Rolling my neck around, I finished drying the last dish before putting it away and hanging the now-damp dish-drying towel over the oven door handle to let it air dry. My fingers twitched with the urge to grab my phone, but I didn't have it. We didn't have anything here to get in touch with anyone back home. We were temporarily disconnected from the club because it was the safest thing for Beck and Clarke, but I hated not knowing what was going on. Hated feeling like I couldn't properly prepare for anything that may come our way.

Beck came into the kitchen and paused when he spotted me, his fingers twitching at his sides. Eventually, he decided to step further into the room, leaning down to grab a bottle of water from the case on the floor. He turned to leave the kitchen, but then he blew out a harsh breath and turned back around to face me, his hand white-knuckling the still-closed water bottle. If he tightened his grip any more, that bottle was liable to explode.

"Were you hard for me?" he blurted, surprising the fuck out of me. I'd been expecting a confrontation. Maybe him telling me to keep my urges under control or that he wanted someone else to guard him and Clarke. Asking if he made me hard threw me for a loop.

"Yes," I said, keeping my gaze steady on his. I didn't say or offer up anything else. Just left it at that.

Beck's cheeks flushed a pretty red color that made me profusely ache for him. When he licked his lips, I had to swallow back a groan. Thoughts of him using that tongue on me—my nipples, my cock, my throat—had my dick swelling behind the zipper of my jeans.

Christ .

"I need to get a shower," I told him, my voice sounding rough to my own ears. But it was clear Beck didn't know what to say to my admission. I wanted to give him time to wrap his head around the fact that I wanted him. Shit, I wanted both of them, but Clarke was too fucking traumatized. She had a shit ton of healing ahead of her, and she needed time to figure out what she could and couldn't handle, what she did and didn't need. "I'm taking you two out into town once I get out of the shower so you two can get clothes and anything else you need."

"We don't have any money," Beck blurted, reaching up to rub the back of his neck as if he was ashamed.

I chuckled and pushed off the counter. "Don't worry about it," I assured him. "I've got you covered."

With that, I moved around him, smiling at Clarke, who was sitting on the couch with a book she'd found… somewhere.

"Where'd you find that?" I asked her, surprised.

She threw a thumb over her shoulder. "There were some books in the closet in our room. It's a history book, and it's in Spanish, but I'm kind of decent at Spanish. And I'm a little bored."

I blinked in surprise before chuckling and shrugging. "Well, knock yourself out, girly."

She smiled at me, her eyes bright with it, and my heart slammed against my chest, threatening to flop right out and into her lap. I quickly turned away and headed on up the hall to my room, grabbing some clothes and a towel before heading into the hallway bathroom.

It took every ounce of my restraint to not rub one out with Beck and Clarke mere feet away.

Clarke grabbed my hand in hers as we neared town, clinging to me with a death grip around my fingers. I gently squeezed her fingers in return, doing my best to ignore the tingles sweeping up my arm from her touch. "You okay?" I softly asked her. Beck looked at her in concern, but she kept her eyes aimed in front of us, just nodding once.

I drew her a little closer to my side. "You're safe with me," I promised her. "I won't let anything happen to you." And neither would the numerous men I'd seen following us into town. Beck and Clarke hadn't noticed them, but I had. The ones I made eye contact with hadn't looked happy about being spotted, but I was too damn good about picking out things that were out of place.

It was really the only good thing my trauma had left me with.

"I'm just… nervous, I think," Clarke said quietly. "I haven't been out in public like this since…" Her voice trailed off.

Since before she was snatched out of her bed to be raped every single day. She didn't need to finish that sentence for me to know what she had meant to say.

Beck lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles. "It's okay," he assured her. "Tank wouldn't have brought us out here if he didn't think we were safe, right?" He looked at me then, looking as desperate for the answer as Clarke was, though it was clear he was trying to hide his nerves from her.

I nodded. "Right," I assured him. "And we won't be here long. Just long enough to get you two some clothes and toiletries, and then we'll head back to the house," I promised.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief, but she still never released my hand. And honestly, I didn't want her to. So, to keep her calm and focused on the task at hand, I began stroking my thumb over the soft skin on the back of her hand before heading into the first store that I hoped had everything we needed in one spot.

"I need…" Beck looked at the men's clothes, seeming unsure of himself.

I nodded once at him. "I've got her," I promised him. "And I've got my eyes on you, too."

He blew out a soft sigh before nodding once and slowly releasing Clarke's hand. I led her to the women's section, and she quickly began rifling through clothes, grabbing the necessities she needed without really seeming to see what was on the clothes she grabbed. Once both she and Beck had everything they needed, I paid the clerk before grabbing the bags and herding them back out of the store to go back to the safe house.

Clarke was much more relaxed on the walk back home, and I didn't comment on the breath of relief she released once the town was behind us and could no longer be seen.

Right then, I swore I would lay down my life for them if need be. No price was too high to protect these two. They'd stolen my heart. They fucking owned me.

I watched as one of Alejandro's men emerged from the woods. Clarke and Beck were napping, both of them exhausted after the stressful trip into town. They'd managed to shower and change into their new clothes, but they'd crashed shortly after. Honestly, I couldn't blame them. I could use a nap, too.

"Phone," he said in thickly-accented English, holding out a burner phone to me. I grabbed it from him. "For you. Call home."

Trepidation clenched my gut. Fuck, what had happened?

With that, he slipped back into the trees. I flipped open the device before dialing River's burner number and holding the phone to my ear. He grunted when he answered but made no other sound.

"River?" I asked.

"Tank?" When I made a noise of affirmation, he sighed. "I don't have any good news, but it's not bad either." I rolled my jaw around, glaring out into the trees. "Alejandro has men infiltrating the organization now, but we don't have eyes on any of the major players yet. It's going to be a waiting game." I clenched my jaw. I hated waiting. I wanted this over for Clarke and Beck so they could have a normal life. Or, well, one as normal as they could manage after all the trauma they'd endured. Life would never truly be normal for them again. I knew from experience.

"How are things on your end?" River asked when I didn't say anything in response.

"Quiet," I gruffly told him. "No activity."

"Good. Reach back out tomorrow just to check in. If I hear anything before then, I'll reach out to you. Keep this phone on you."

"Will do," I told him before ending the call. After pocketing the phone, I headed inside, locking the front door behind me. I checked on Clarke and Beck, who were curled up on the couch together. Reaching forward, I gently took the book from Clarke's slack hand, dog-earring the page she'd been on before setting it on the coffee table.

They were so fucking beautiful together. And I desperately wanted them to be mine. I'd never felt like this before in my life, but of course, the first moment I did, I started falling for two traumatized people who would likely never truly want anything with a man like me.

An outlaw. Someone who was okay living on the wrong side of the law. Someone who wasn't mentally okay—hadn't been for years. Because like them, trauma had fucked me up and left me deeply scarred.

Beck and Clarke deserved someone much better than me.

Sighing, I headed into my room, leaving the door open, and laid back on the bed.

While I knew they deserved better, if I ever got the chance to be theirs—for them to be mine—I would take it with both hands. I would do my best to love them wholly and fully. I would take care of them and always keep them safe, no matter the cost.

Would that be enough?