Chapter 16

SIXTEEN

From the corner of her eye, Kenzie watched Cole and James fill their plates, wondering at the intense conversation they'd just finished. Part of her wanted to think it was about her and Cole but figured she was being silly. Cole had made it clear that she was nothing more than a coworker.

But there was a small part of her that wondered if that was true. The more she thought about it, the more she thought she'd seen something else in his eyes in that moment.

Something like fear.

He'd been burned badly by his ex-girlfriend. What if he'd just said all of that because he was afraid of what he actually felt for her?

She snorted. She was delusional.

No. Wishful.

"Hey," Jesslyn said, sitting in the empty seat next to her.

"Hey."

"You look very serious. What's going on?"

Well, she hadn't planned to make this evening all about her, but she didn't want Jesslyn to feel slighted again either. And maybe Jess would have some good insight into everything. "Other than someone trying to kill me, finding out more about the night my mom died, and a very complicated relationship with Cole?"

"Oh my."

"Oh, and don't forget the team doesn't really want me on the team, and I wonder if one of them is behind all the attempts to get rid of me."

Jesslyn blinked. "That's a lot."

"Yeah. It is. Sorry I dumped that on you. I seem to be doing that a lot even when I order myself not to."

"I'm honored you'd share, Kenzie. I know we really haven't had a lot of heart-to-hearts and I want to change that. The truth is, I was a little jealous when you and Lainie became friends so quickly." She glanced away. "I need to apologize for that."

Kenzie nearly fell out of her chair. "What? Jealous? I never would have guessed."

The woman let out a small laugh. "Well, thanks for that, but you probably noticed I didn't make a huge effort to get to know you, so again, I'm sorry about that and hope you'll forgive me—and give me another chance to get to know you better."

Kenzie reached over and squeezed Jesslyn's hand, then released it to pick up her candy bar from the table. "Nothing to forgive, but if you need the words, I forgive you. And while we're on apologies, I didn't mean to shut you out earlier. I had vented to Lainie and felt like I'd taken up enough time with my issues that I just wanted to get out here and enjoy the fellowship."

"And here I am insisting you go through it all over again. I'm batting a thousand tonight, aren't I? I'm sorry. Again."

Kenzie gaped. "No. Not at all. The last thing you did was insist. You simply asked. The truth is, I'm very focused on myself right now and need a distraction, so tell me about you. How's your work going?"

Jesslyn shrugged. "Some days it's a challenge, other days I feel like a hero."

"You mean like when you put away that arsonist who was burning down schools?"

"Exactly like that. Although I'm not sure why he thought burning down the schools was going to achieve his goal of overhauling the education system."

"It was a symbolic act."

Jesslyn smiled. "It was. He made no secret of the fact that he thought the whole system needed a revamp. I don't think he meant for anyone to get hurt, but someone died because they chose to work late." She sighed. "At least he's behind bars and can't hurt anyone else."

"Yes. Amen to that."

"I'm curious how it's going for you, working in such a male-dominated arena," Jesslyn said. She took a sip of her water and tilted her head at Kenzie. "Firefighting is too, but SWAT..." She shook her head. "That's a whole other ball game."

Kenzie sighed and let Jesslyn turn the conversation back to her while Lainie lit the firepit and James tossed a bag of marshmallows to the newcomer, Detective Nathan Carlisle. New, but not inexperienced. "It's funny you should ask that. That's been a hot topic ever since I was accepted." She broke off a piece of her Hershey bar. She liked s'mores. She also liked plain chocolate just as well. The sugary sweetness coated her tongue. "That was the happiest day of my life." She glanced at Jesslyn. "The day I got the news I'd be joining the team. Even better than getting into med school."

Jesslyn laughed. "I can imagine." Her eyes tracked Nathan, and Kenzie raised a brow that Jesslyn didn't notice. Then her friend blinked and turned her attention back to Kenzie. "And?"

Hmm ... that was interesting, but she let it go. "Truthfully, it's also been the hardest thing I've ever done, next to going to my mother's funeral."

"Yeah." Jesslyn frowned. "I know about losing people."

"Your family," Kenzie said.

Jesslyn nodded. "It's the reason I do what I do. My family was murdered and the arsonist never caught."

"I heard. I'm so sorry." Kenzie cleared her throat. "I just recently learned my mother's death may not have been an accident."

Jesslyn straightened and her gaze sharpened. "What?"

Kenzie summarized, leaving out a lot of the details, but telling enough so Jesslyn had a good picture of the issue. "But we're not sure. It's just a theory I'm looking into."

"Let me know if you need any help. I don't know what I can do, but if I can do it, I will."

"Thanks." She drew in a slow breath. "Now, back to you. Not a lot of female fire marshals out there."

"No, but I don't get much grief about it. I'm respected in the field now, but I've been doing this a while. You'll get there, if you're not already."

"Oh, I'm not." She took another bite of chocolate. "I've worked my tail off to prove myself, but it just doesn't seem to matter."

"You're not giving up, are you?"

"Well, I can't say I haven't thought about it. Sure would be a lot easier, but quitting isn't in me. And besides, I'm good at it. I enjoy it when we're all working as a team and"—she thought about Micah and his family—"the rewards are great."

"You should be proud of yourself. I'm praying that the guys come around and the tension disappears."

"Thank you."

"Now, why haven't you and Cole spoken or even looked at each other since you got here?"

Kenzie groaned. "You noticed that, huh?"

"Hard not to."

"It's a long story. We had a little disagreement and are sulking—mostly me—but we'll both get over it and go back to behaving like adults before too much longer."

Jesslyn looked amused. Then she took a swig of her water and nodded toward the edge of the dock. "Looks like the polar bear plunge is getting ready to happen."

"While I'm very comfortable sitting here in my suit with the nice breeze and my warm cover-up," Kenzie said around another bite of chocolate. She touched her side, feeling the bandage under her suit. "I'm very glad I'm not allowed in the water. It's cold. It was cold before the sun started going down and it's even colder now."

"Hence the stupid dare."

"At least it's not snowing this time." She shuddered. "I can't believe I did that one last year. Are you going in?"

"What do you think?"

"I think you picked working with fire for a reason."

Jesslyn laughed. "You got that right, but I wouldn't miss this for the world." She glanced at Kenzie. "Unless I had a wound that could get infected."

Kenzie smirked. "I'll be honest. I'm just using that as an excuse to stay warm."

"I don't blame you."

"But why don't you go show that hunky new detective what you're made of?"

Jesslyn simply raised a brow and shot Kenzie a mysterious smile before walking over to stand between Nathan and Lainie. Then she turned back to Kenzie and winked.

"One, two, three, go!"

The splashes and shrieks echoed, and Kenzie laughed like she hadn't in a very long time. When Cole hauled himself out of the water and onto the dock, shivering, his eyes connected with hers and he shot her a tentative smile.

She smiled back.

ONCE THEY WERE IN his 4Runner and heading back to Kenzie's home, Cole glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. You thawed out yet?"

He shuddered. "I may never be warm again." He cranked the heat up a notch for good measure.

"You didn't have to do that, you know. Jump in. That's crazy stuff."

He was glad she was at least talking to him. It helped open the door to the apology he still owed her. There'd been no chance earlier when she was surrounded by friends right up to the end. "Who you calling crazy? You did it when it was snowing last year."

She chuckled. "I know. I'm teasing." Her phone pinged and she glanced at it. "Logan's texting. My grandma Betsy's birthday is next week."

"Man, how old is she now?"

"Ninety-seven and still pretty sharp." She glanced at him. "She doesn't talk much about the past but does mention your grandmother, Eliza, and how she used to visit her at the psychiatric hospital."

He laughed. "I can't believe Betsy met your grandfather there. Can you imagine what they used to say to the question, ‘So, how did y'all meet?'"

Kenzie grinned. "Oh yes, she had fun with that one. And she also had stories about some guy who worked with my grandfather who used to hit on her."

"What? Who?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. She just called him Dr. Stephen. He was the director back then before my grandfather took over. He had a crush on her that turned into something of a stalking situation. Apparently, she had to really put him in his place and let him know she was in love with my grandfather and to leave her alone."

"Ouch. Poor guy. That had to hurt." Probably almost as bad as Tracy dumping him. "What happened after that?"

"I'm not exactly sure. Grandma Betsy kind of clams up after that. I don't think she likes to remember those days. She did ask me one time if I'd found the journal."

"What journal?"

"I don't know, and when I pressed her for more details, she just shrugged and said never mind, that it was probably lost."

"Interesting."

"I thought so, but I've been so busy working on renovating the house and pushing hard career-wise that I haven't had much time to think about it."

"Maybe you can ask her about it at the party."

"Yeah, maybe I will."

Cole hesitated, took a breath, then blurted, "Kenzie, I need to be honest with you about something."

Her gaze sharpened. "Okay."

"Do you mind if I come in for a few minutes when we get to your house?"

"Sure, that's fine."

It was dark. It was late. And he was so full of nerves that he had to call on all his training not to give in to them. Maybe he should have waited until a better time to do this.

But no. He wanted the air clear between them.

When they arrived at Kenzie's home, she unlocked the front door, turned off the alarm, and led him inside.

He shut the door and locked it. "Let's go through your house, make sure it's clear."

"Fine."

Because she knew as well as he did, an untripped alarm didn't necessarily mean someone couldn't get inside.

Together they walked through, clearing the main floor. He held up his hand at the entrance to the basement. "Stay here, okay?"

She nodded. She'd wait at the top of the stairs to make sure no one came to ambush them and would be there for help if he needed it. Cole made his way into the basement, stepping over the seventh step, and noted the window had been fixed—and covered with bars on the outside.

No one was coming back in that way without making a lot of noise.

The punching bag was still hanging from the hook and the weight system was organized, waiting for the next workout. He walked back up to the kitchen and found Kenzie leaning against the counter. "Clear down there."

"All good up here."

"Attic?"

"Follow me."

Cole fell into step behind her. She had a walk-in storage area off the utility room. "So, this is your ‘attic,' huh?" he said.

"Grandma Betsy didn't like stairs. She tolerated the basement—mostly because she didn't have to go down there. She used it for storage, just like this room. When I moved in, the basement was full of all kinds of antiques and stuff that I gave my brothers first pick of. I kept a couple of things that I wanted, then sold the rest so I could get started updating the house."

"You've done a great job so far."

"Thanks." She shot him a smile, then looked around the room. His gaze followed hers. Boxes and bins were stacked along the perimeter of the room. A card table and chairs leaned against the wall opposite the door. A clothing rack went wall to wall, a variety of items hanging from it. She pointed to the oversize chair in the corner. "I keep thinking I'll pull that out and use it somewhere, but I don't want it in the den."

"Maybe the sunroom?"

"It might work there. I'm sure it needs a good cleaning and I'd want to recover it with something a little more my taste, but yeah. The sunroom might be a great place for it." She sighed. "But for now, it can stay put while I tackle the other stuff."

"It's a lot," he said, "but looks pretty well organized."

"It is, which will help because I have no idea what's here. I still have to go through all of it, figuring out what needs to be tossed, donated, and possibly kept. Maybe I'll do that with my few days off."

"Happy to help if you need it."

She raised a brow. "I might just take you up on it." She led him back to the den area, where she motioned to the couch. "You had something you wanted to talk about."

Wanted to talk about? Absolutely not. "I owe you another apology. That moment in the hospital wasn't me being a player, Kenz." He wanted to get up and pace. Instead, he locked his gaze on hers. "As you know, Tracy burned me pretty bad."

"Tracy, yes, I know," she said.

The distaste in her voice almost made him smile. "Yeah. I liked her a lot. I'm not going to say I loved her, but I definitely cared about her. The truth is, she used me to further her own career and that hurt. Made me mad."

"And suspicious of me? Did you wonder if I'd use your friendship with my brother to get you to make things easier for me?"

"Maybe a little in the beginning, but as time went on and you were obviously determined not to accept any help whatsoever, it didn't take me long to realize you weren't like Tracy."

Anger flickered in her gaze, then fizzled. "No, I'm not. I'm glad you can see that."

"When it comes to ... certain situations ... I make light of those that get to me. Make it seem like they don't matter. When in reality, they matter more than I want to admit."

She stayed quiet for a moment. "So, you're saying when you almost kissed me in the hospital, it did mean something."

"Yeah. It did."

She blew out a low breath. "Thank you for admitting that. I didn't like the thoughts I was having about you when you said it meant nothing."

He winced. "I don't blame you for the thoughts. But I was also worried that it was a wrong move in the sense that I'm your supervisor. It could be construed as taking advantage of you. And I never want to put either of us in that position ever again. It's not fair to you at all."

She sighed. "I get it. You don't have to say anything else. It's all good. We'll just be coworkers and friends, all right?"

Relief and something else he refused to identify swept through him. "Right. Perfect. Thank you."

"That was really hard for you, wasn't it?"

"You have no idea."

Kenzie tucked stray strands of hair behind her ear. "Well, it's late and I'm ready to get some rest."

He knew a dismissal when he heard one. He glanced at his phone. "Officer Butte is here and watching the house. Get some rest and I'll call you after my coffee date in the morning with Sherry."

She nodded, walked to the door, and held it open. Cole walked through it, wondering why it was so hard to do so. He acknowledged the officer with a wave and turned back to Kenzie. "Night, Kenzie."

"Night, friend ."

The slight emphasis on that last word made him wince, but she shot him a tired smile before she shut the door with a definitive click, then the deadbolt slid home.