Chapter 11

ELEVEN

Cole's mouth opened, then snapped shut.

"No," she said. "Tell me. What did I do?"

He shrugged. "You shut them out. Said you didn't need them. I think it hurt their feelings."

Her jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding me. I didn't say that."

"Not completely with words, but you definitely did. I suppose I could be wrong."

Unfortunately, she didn't think he was, guy or not. And if the look on his face was any indication, neither did he.

She dropped her face into her palms and tried to gain control of the emotions swamping her. Cole's hand on her shoulder pulled her attention up to him. "I didn't mean to do that," she whispered.

"Yeah, I can tell."

"Well, great. Now what?"

"Apologize?"

She scowled. "Apologize. To them. For..." She'd learned long ago to never apologize because they would take it as a sign of weakness.

Cole shot her a confused smile. "Well, yeah. They're the ones you wronged."

"But did I? Wrong them? I just told them I'm fine. Which I am"—she coughed—"other than a small cough. Now that I think about it, I just spoke the truth. So, how exactly did I wrong them? Maybe it's their interpretation of what I said that was wrong."

Cole simply watched her with a knowing expression on his face, and she flopped back onto the pillow with a huff. And a grimace. "Ugh. I don't do apologies well," she muttered. "At least not with my family. They're very hard to apologize to because they usually throw it back in my face."

"It's totally your decision, but you asked me what happened and that's my take."

"Fine. I'll apologize." She would do so if it was anyone else in her life. The fact that it was her family she needed to apologize to shouldn't cause her stomach to knot. They'd see her as weak. And while that had mattered when she was a teen on into her early twenties, did it matter now? As long as she knew the truth?

It shouldn't.

"Good." He patted her hand and started for the door.

"Cole ... do you think it was a mistake? My joining SWAT?"

He paused, his back to her, then his head dropped and he sighed. Then turned. "Kenzie, we've known each other a long time. Not like best friends or anything, but our families have. Kash and Paul and I weren't really friends, per se, since they're so much older than I am, but Logan and I were tight. Still are."

"I know. I used to be jealous of y'all going down to the lake to go fishing. I wanted to go, but Grandma Betsy wouldn't let me. Said you two needed ‘guy time.'"

He laughed. "We did."

"Well, I'm going on record as officially feeling left out."

"If I could turn back time—"

"You two would still leave me behind."

"Yeah, we probably would."

She sighed. "We had a pretty good childhood before my mom died. After that, everything seemed to fall apart." She picked at the fuzz on the blanket covering her from the waist down. "Except for summers with Grandma Betsy." Tears filled her eyes and she blinked at the wetness. When was the last time she'd cried? And why now? "I need to go visit her. It's been way too long. I'm ashamed."

"I'm sure she understands."

"She does, but still ... she gave me a house. The least I can do is see her on a regular basis." And ugh. More tears. Stop it.

She brushed away the sign of weakness only to look up and see Cole watching her with such compassion that more tears pushed their way to the surface. She sniffed and shook her head, willing her throat to relax.

He nudged her. "Move over. Gently. Be sure not to hurt yourself."

"What?"

"Move over. I need room."

What in the world? She scooted—carefully as instructed, hand pressed to her wound—and Cole settled onto the mattress next to her, sliding an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him. Confused, but not in the least little bit of a hurry to get away, she settled her head against his chest, mind spinning. "Is this how you comfort the other guys on the team?" she murmured.

A chuckle rumbled under her ear, tickling her eardrum. "That would be a negative. I have to say, this is a first." His laughter faded and he pulled back a fraction to look down at her. She lifted her chin to meet his gaze and the action brought their lips in close proximity.

Very . Close. Proximity.

She froze and so did Cole.

He cleared his throat and she tilted her head down, hoping against hope he couldn't feel her runaway pulse pounding like ... like ... well, like it never pounded. Ever.

"Your side okay?" he asked, his voice a little more husky than normal.

What side? Oh. Ahem. "Yes, it's fine." Well, it hurt, but she didn't want to move, so...

She should move. She really should. "Cole?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm confused."

"I know. I am too."

"Well, as long as it's both of us..."

"We'll figure it out, Kenzie. For now, let me try to answer your question."

She had a question? Well, yes, she had a lot of questions, but this ... whatever this was ... was the biggest question she'd ever faced.

"So," he said, "when all the applicants for your position with SWAT were reviewed, it was easy to discard a lot of them. Most of them. But there were some really, really good applicants."

"I'm sure."

"We narrowed it down to five. Then three. Then two."

"Me and..."

"Yes."

"You're not going to tell me who the other one was."

"No. If he wants you to know, he'll tell you."

She reared back and gasped at the shaft of pain that shot through her wound. Then ignored it. "It wasn't Butler, was it?"

"No, he didn't apply."

Kenzie knew her jaw was swinging, but couldn't seem to do anything about it. He tapped it shut, but she didn't return to his comfortable, very nice, rock-solid, Shemar Moore chest. No, no. Not yet anyway. "B-but, I thought that was why he was being so ... antagonistic about me being on the team."

"No, Butler's just a jerk."

"So, it really is a gender thing." She didn't know why she was so shocked about that.

"Yeah, I think so. I can't think of any other reason. Now, can I finish?"

"Oh, right. You were answering my question. Go on."

"Anyway, most everyone knows I'm friends with Logan, and I didn't want that to influence the decision, so I stayed out of it."

"And the guys know that."

"They know. And I think they're not happy with me for that deci sion. So, I've tried to stay neutral. Keep you at arm's length, as you put it, and not show any favoritism."

"Which I do appreciate."

"But do I think it was a mistake hiring you? No. Now more than ever."

She sighed. "I know that men and women are made differently—"

He muttered something.

"What?"

"Nothing, go on."

Kenzie frowned. She could have sworn he'd said something that sounded suspiciously like "Thank God for that."

"Anyway," she said, "I know that in this kind of job, sometimes brawn wins. I get it. Hands down, every guy on the team would win a strength contest with me."

He narrowed his gaze at her. "You overheard us talking about this, didn't you?"

"What? Who? When?"

"Uh, never mind. Continue please."

He'd been talking? About how she was weak? Or the guys were stronger? She'd address that later. "But I'm smart. And I have other abilities. And truly, thankfully, in my position, I don't have to rely on strength much. I can leave that to you guys."

"But..."

"I don't know, I guess I'm naive. I suppose I thought that even if the guys—you—had reservations at first, that I'd be able to prove I deserved the spot I was given."

"You have, Kenzie," he said, his voice low. "You've proven it."

She tilted her head at him. "So, is that why you feel like this is okay now?"

COLE FROZE ONCE MORE. Was it?

"No." He sighed and slid off the bed, careful not to jar her side. She shot him a skeptical look, and he couldn't blame her. "No," he said again with more conviction. "I..." He waved a hand. "I don't know what this was. I'm sorry." And he was. He had no business treating Kenzie different from any other team member. He was an idiot. "I just felt so bad for you that I—"

She flushed. Then her eyes did that glitter thing that told him he'd just messed up big-time. "That you thought I needed a pity cuddle?" she asked.

He blinked. "A ... a what?"

"You felt sorry for me, so you decided to give me a pity cuddle. Well, I don't need your pity or your ... your ... stupid cuddles, so just treat me like one of the guys and we'll forget this ever happened."

Cole gaped. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Probably," she muttered. "If not, I'm getting close." She sighed before he could respond. "Just go away, Cole."

He was not going away. "Sorry, you don't get to do that." He planted his hands on his hips. "I have no idea what a pity cuddle is, but that was not one. I saw a fellow human and friend in pain and wanted to help. That was the only way I knew how to do that, and I'm not going to feel guilty for it. As for treating you like one of the guys, I've done that." And he was over it. She wasn't one of the guys—well, she was and she wasn't. Professionally, yeah, okay. But personally. Nope. And now he was going to have to figure out how to deal with that. Or run. Running was sounding better and better by the moment. But he wasn't a runner.

He sighed. "I guess I should take my own advice then, huh?"

She frowned. "What?"

"About apologizing. I'm sorry, Kenzie, it was my intention to comfort, not come across as offering pity. I offended you and I'm sorry."

It was her turn to blink. And swallow. Then meet his gaze.

She deflated with a heavy sigh. "It's okay, Cole. I appreciate the comfort." She offered him a small smile. "It helped. It's me, not you."

He barked a laugh. "I've heard that one before." Boy, had he.

Curiosity flickered in her eyes, then knowledge. "Oh. Tracy."

"Yeah. When she dumped me, she said it was her, not me."

"And it probably was."

For the first time since the breakup, he thought that actually might be the case. His phone buzzed and he frowned. "It's Micah."

She raised a brow. "What's going on?"

"He sent a picture with a text. Said the guy was back hanging around the court and he's scared he's going to dupe someone else into helping him hurt someone."

She straightened. "What if he's looking for Micah?"

"Yeah." He tapped a message back.

Stay away from him. Don't let him see you.

Too late. He's already seen me. And I think he's watching me.

Then stay with your friends. Don't let him get you alone.

Cole dialed 911, made the report, and asked officers to detain the man, saying that he was wanted for questioning. Dispatch assured him officers were on the way.

Kenzie slid her legs to the side of the bed.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Getting out of here. I want to know who this guy is and what his beef is with me and the team."

"Uh, you need to stay put."

"I'm good to go."

"Says who?"

"Lainie. She said when I felt good enough to leave, I could. I already signed the discharge papers. Now, can you help me with my shoes?" She pointed to them on the bench by the window.

He grabbed them but frowned. "She didn't tell me that. Just said you were ornery and wanting to get out of here."

"Ornery, huh?"

"Uh, don't tell her I told you that."

She wiggled a foot at him. "Please?"

He didn't bother to protest any more. If Lainie said she could go, he couldn't make her stay. And Kenzie was a doctor, so ...

Five minutes later, they were out the door and heading to the waiting area. He texted Micah.

Officers are on the way. Is he still there?

The reply came instantly.

Yep. Sitting on the bench on the other side of the court thinking no one is noticing him.

Is he in cop gear?

Nope. But he's got that same rag thing over his face. Not sketchy at all.

The kid's sarcasm made Cole smile.

Text me when the cops are there and have him in custody. They'll get there before I can.

10-4.

He and Kenzie walked into the waiting room. The team was there. All except Butler and Buzz. At least Buzz had an excuse.

Greene nodded. "Looking good there, King."

"Thank you." She scratched Otis's ears and the dog leaned against her leg. She glanced at Cole. "At least someone doesn't mind my gender."

Her words were low, for his ears only. He felt quite sure he shouldn't reassure her that he was more than happy with her gender and pressed his lips together to keep the words from slipping out.

Cowboy stood and sauntered over to stand in front of her. "You stitch yourself up?"

She laughed. "No, not this time."

"This time?" Cowboy looked intrigued, and Cole couldn't say he blamed him.

"Hey, Kenzie," Lainie called from the desk. "I have one more paper that needs your signature."

"Be right back," Kenzie said and walked over to Lainie.

Butler chose that moment to step through the sliding glass doors.

"Took you long enough," Cole said.

"What happened?"

"Someone tried to kill King." Just saying the words burned a path along his tongue.

"No kidding. She okay?"

"She is."

A smirk pulled at Butler's lips. "Huh. How about that? I just wanted her off the team. Sounds like someone else wants her off the planet."

Cole scowled. "Not appropriate, man."

The others also turned looks of disapproval on their fellow teammate. Behind him, he heard a soft sigh. Kenzie. He turned just as she hid the flash of hurt, but the hard set of her jaw said she was angry too. "Sorry, Kenzie, he didn't mean that."

Her anger focused on him. "Don't apologize for him. That's not your job." To the others, she said, "Thanks for coming, guys, but I'm fine."

Butler looked like he wanted to say something, then snapped his lips shut and cleared his throat. "Um, I gotta go. Rest up, King," he muttered.

Cole took a deep breath to get himself under control. He couldn't go after the man and punch him no matter how much he might want to. That wasn't the way to handle this.

Butler left and the others shuffled out behind him. Cole turned to look at Kenzie, and the haunted look that flashed for a brief second in her eyes made him want to wrap her in his arms. Again.

Figuring that wouldn't go over well and would be interpreted as another pity cuddle, he curled his fingers into tight fists and released the breath he'd been holding. "Kenzie—" His phone buzzed and he pulled it out of his pocket to glance at it. "It's Micah again," he said. "The guy left before the cops could get him."

"Scared him off."

"Yeah. I'm going to tell him to keep watching the area and let me know if he comes back, but to be careful and definitely don't approach him or be caught alone with him." He finished the text and received Micah's agreement.

Kenzie rubbed a hand over her lips and sighed. "You think he's behind it?" she asked. "Butler? Could he want me off the team so bad that he'd hire someone to actually put us all in danger to get rid of me? Or am I giving myself too much credit?"