Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Ivy

" Y ou guys ready?" Rae called out from behind the dressing screens in the corner of the bridal suite.

Her big day was finally here, and after we'd all gotten primped and pampered and styled, the time had finally come for her to reveal her wedding gown to all of us. It was the one thing that we, as her bridesmaids, hadn't been a part of. Using connections from her former life, she and her mom had made quite a few trips back and forth to LA to work with a famous designer on Rae's dream wedding dress.

"We're ready," Lennix said impatiently.

A collective gasp sounded through the room once she stepped out from behind the screens. "Oh my God," Lennix breathed as tears welled in her eyes. She hooked arms with her mother, Rory, who was standing behind her, and the two of them held each other up as they took in the woman who was about to become an official member of their family. Not that she wasn't already. "You look so beautiful."

Rae's mother, Alma, stood off to the side with her clasped hands held in front of her smiling mouth. Pride shone in her eyes as she took in her daughter.

"You really do," I said, standing from the dusky pink velvet divan and moving toward her to pull her into a hug. "Zach is going to lose his mind when he sees you in this," I said as I released her and took a step back to take her in once more.

She swished the skirt of her flowing lace gown back and forth, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "You really think so? I just want him to like it."

"Honey, you look like a fairy princess," Alma told her.

Rory nodded and sniffled. "Absolutely breathtaking. He's going to love it."

Moving to the champagne bucket beside the vanity, I grabbed an empty glass and filled it up, handing it over to the bride since the rest of us were already set. "Here, drink this. It'll help with your nerves."

She turned her head, smiling a euphoric smile I'd never seen her wear before. It was the smile of a woman who had every single one of her dreams come true. "I'll drink it because I never pass on champagne, but I'm not nervous." She sipped daintily, mindful of her lipstick. "It's strange actually. I was so sure I'd be a huge bundle of nerves today, but I just feel ready. Like this is exactly what's supposed to be happening and Zach is exactly who it's supposed to be happening with. I've never been so sure of anything in my whole life. Is that weird?"

Alma beamed at her daughter as she reached up to gently brush a silky curl over her bare shoulder. "It's not weird at all. It's exactly how I felt when I married your father."

"And it's what I felt when I married Cord," Rory confessed. "Like a piece clicking into place you didn't realize was missing, but as soon as you have it, you know what it means to feel whole."

"Yeah," Rae said on a dreamy sigh. "That's what it feels like."

I forced my lips to stretch into a smile as my stomach dropped to my feet. It wasn't that I was jealous, exactly. I was over the moon that my friends had been lucky enough to meet the loves of their lives, and I wished them decades of happiness to come. But I would have been lying if I didn't feel a small pang of envy at what she was describing. All my life I had wanted a love like that for myself. It was the same kind of love I saw every time I looked at my mom and stepdad. I loved my father. He'd never been anything but good to me, but I wasn't na?ve. My mom kept the truth from me until I was old enough to start asking questions, but I knew he'd been a shitty husband. He hadn't been good enough for her, so it made the fact that she found Micah once we moved to Hope Valley even more special.

I wanted that.

And there had only been one time in all my life where I actually felt like I might have found it. Which was why it hurt so damn bad when he ran out on me.

I caught Lennix watching me from the corner of my eye and quickly schooled my features into a false mask of serenity, but I had a feeling from the way she was examining me so closely I hadn't been fast enough.

Noticing the champagne bottle was empty, I quickly snatched it up and gave it a quick shake. "Looks like we've kicked this one. I'm going to grab another bottle real quick. We still have a bit of time before this show gets started."

"Thank you," Rae said happily as I started for the door.

"Hold up." Lennix's voice pulled me up short. "I'll go with you."

Damn it .

I barely made it halfway down the hall before the click of Lennix's heels caught up with me. "Okay, woman. Start talking."

I made a face I hoped didn't look as fake as it felt as I swung into the tiny kitchen at the back of the church. "What are you talking about?"

She narrowed her eyes like she could see right through me. "Don't give me that. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You got all sad when they were talking about love and happily-ever-afters and stuff." She pointed her finger at my face. "And don't bother denying it, I saw it all over your face."

I bent to yank open the door to the minifridge where I'd stashed a couple extra bottles of champagne earlier. I pulled out the bottle, letting the chill on the glass seep into my palms. "Look, it's really not a big deal, okay? And I don't want to get into it now. This day is all about Rae and Zach. I don't want to take anything away from that."

Her charcoal brows lifted high on her forehead. "You won't take anything away from them by talking to me about what's bugging you. You've been off since last night. You got all quiet during the rehearsal dinner, and that's not like you. Is it about that Tanner guy you came with today?" Her spine shot straight. "Did he do something? I'll kill him."

"No, God. It's nothing like that." I leaned back against the edge of the counter, letting the stone keep me propped up as I heaved out a sigh and rubbed at the tension headache starting to build in the center of my chest. "I slept with Connor," I blurted, deciding it was best to just get it out there. Like ripping off a Band-Aid.

Lennix's jaw dropped wide open, her eyes bugging out so wide it was almost comical. "Last night?" she squeaked.

"No. Not last night. A few months ago, when he was here. Actually, it was the same night he left."

Her eyes went from wide to narrow in confusion. "What do you mean, the same night he left?"

I threw my hands up at my sides and let them drop back down heavily, banging the champagne bottle against the side of my thigh. "I mean I slept with him, and when I woke up, he was gone."

"You're kidding ."

"I wish I was."

"Oh my God," she hissed, casting a quick glance at the opened doorway behind her to make sure no one was listening before she took three quick steps in my direction, lowering her voice to a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone," I admitted. "Having the last guy I slept with steal off in the middle of the night wasn't exactly an ego boost. I was humiliated. I didn't want to have to rehash it all."

"I can't believe you slept with Connor ," she yelped loud enough that I had to shush her. The last thing I needed was for someone to walk down the hall and overhear our conversation. She dropped her voice back down and added, "And I can't believe that asshole bailed on you in the middle of the night." Her brows pinched together angrily. I knew that look. It was the look that said she was about to rip someone a new asshole.

"Please don't tell anyone," I said quickly, placing the bottle on the counter and clasping my hands in a pleading gesture. "I'm begging you, Lenny. Please keep this to yourself. I don't want anyone else to know."

She rushed forward, taking my hands in hers. "Honey, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You didn't do anything wrong."

I let out a short scoff. "I'm not so sure about that. I slept with a notorious playboy and was stupid enough to think something might actually come of it. I mean, come on, Len. The guy hasn't exactly hidden the fact that he doesn't do relationships."

Her features softened as worry filled her gaze. "That's why you looked so sad back there, isn't it? You really felt something for him?"

I nodded, having to swallow down the massive lump that had formed in my throat before I could get the words out. "I did. I felt something big. I thought..." That ball of sadness was proving harder to dislodge than I'd hoped. "I thought we could be something like Rae has with Zach and your mom has with your dad. I wanted what my mom has with Micah, and I let myself start to see a future with him. Like I said, I was an idiot."

"No, you weren't," she said fiercely before yanking me into a hug so tight it made my ribs creak. "You weren't an idiot. I know you, Ivy, I know the only way you'd ever fall for a man that strongly is if he did everything he could to earn it."

She wasn't wrong. We'd been friends before anything else. At one point, I considered him one of my closest friends. We saw each other nearly every single day when he'd been staying at the ranch. It wasn't like I'd jumped into something quickly. It happened naturally over time. Like we'd been building up to something for months before anything romantic ever happened.

"It doesn't matter anymore." I lifted my shoulders in a heavy shrug. "It's done. Nothing is ever going to happen there, so I just need to move on."

Lennix huffed out a breath and shook her head. "I want to skin that asshole alive for what he did."

I couldn't help but smile at her fierce loyalty. She might have been a few years younger than I was, but she was one of the best friends a woman could ask for. "I love you, but there's really no reason for you to resort to violence."

She harrumphed. "Agree to disagree."

I shook my head on a chuckle. "Seriously, it's okay. I'm okay. Just... keep this between us. Please? I want to forget any of it ever happened."

"Deal," she agreed. "But I reserve the right to punch him in the dick if he does anything else to hurt you."

"I can give you that."

"But, Ivy, honey, you have to know that it's his loss. You're a total catch. You're beautiful and smart and funny, and you're just the right amount of crazy."

I snorted out a laugh, the fist that had been squeezing my chest in its tight grip the past few hours finally loosening. It was amazing what good friends could do. "How can anyone be the right amount of crazy?"

She shrugged, lifting her hands so her palms faced the sky. "I don't know, but you manage to pull it off."

"Thank you," I said, my voice quiet and sincere. "For letting me talk to you and for having my back. It really helped."

She smiled at me and reached out to give my arm a squeeze. "You never have to thank me for having your back. It's something I'll always do. Now what do you say we take that bottle back and make a huge dent before the ceremony? Then we'll hit the open bar once the reception starts and tie one on. Sound good?"

It sounded perfect.