Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Ivy

" A re you all right, love bug? You're looking a little green."

I stumbled out of eagle pose at my mom's question and lowered myself to my mat as a wave of dizziness washed over me. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, pulling in the fresh air and the sweet perfume of the plants and flowers that surrounded me into my lungs. I took slow, centering breaths as I tried to push away the nausea gripping my stomach.

When my mom, Hayden, had called earlier this morning and asked if I wanted to do yoga, I'd invited her over, hoping that a little bit of exercise would help get my energy back up. I'd been feeling run down lately thanks to a nasty stomach virus that didn't seem to want to go away.

"Yeah," I blew an exhale past my lips as the worst of the nausea passed. "I'm good." I peeled my eyes open and looked at my mother, offering her a smile. "This bug is just kicking my ass. It doesn't want to go away."

She lowered onto her mat beside mine and leaned over to place her palm on my forehead as her brow furrowed. "You aren't running a fever," she said, but she didn't sound relieved by that knowledge.

"I'm fine, Mom. Really."

She still looked skeptical, and I knew she was fighting her desire to go full-on helicopter mom like she had whenever I'd been sick as a kid. It wasn't something that happened very often, but when it did, it never failed to knock me on my ass. "If you say so. Just promise me that if you don't get any better in a few days you'll go see the doctor."

"I promise. But it's really not necessary." I grabbed my water bottle from the grass beside me and popped the top, gulping some back. "See? I'm already feeling better."

She hummed but let it go.

Giving up on more yoga, I let myself fall back onto my mat and stared up at the fat white clouds that dotted the bright blue sky. "You can keep going if you want," I told her. "I'm going to lie here and pick out shapes in the clouds."

Instead of flowing into her next pose, my mother stretched out on the ground beside me. "I forgot all about your cloud picking. You learned that from Sylvia, didn't you?"

"Yeah. She and I used to spend hours lying out here, finding all kinds of animals and faces."

"I remember. It was the only time you would be still for more than a couple minutes." I could hear the fond smile in my mother's voice. She missed her great-aunt almost as much as I did. She hadn't had the best family, her parents more concerned with status and how they looked to other people than actually caring about their own flesh and blood, so she'd written them off a long time ago. They were all the same. All except for Sylvia. In a way, the vivacious life-of-the-party had saved us both.

I smiled at the memory of my mom's great-aunt. She had been one of my most favorite people in the whole world, and the closest thing I'd had to a grandmother. My parents divorced when I was little, and my mom chose Hope Valley to start fresh because this was where Sylvia lived. One of the saddest days of my life was the day we lost Aunt Sylvia. She'd been a force of nature. A bright, shining spot in every single day. She'd been instrumental in raising me and teaching me to love myself for who I was. My mom swore up and down that my wild streak came from her, and having known the woman, I didn't doubt that one bit.

As a matter of fact, I was so connected to the woman that I still lived in her house. When we first moved here, she'd insisted my mother and I take the big house while she moved into the small carriage house that had been converted into an apartment. I was nineteen when she passed away at the ripe age of ninety-seven, and Mom and Micah had stayed in the house for a few more years before declaring she was ready for something smaller.

I hadn't wanted to lose the memories we'd formed there, so I bought it from Mom and decided to stay. The elaborate gardens that Sylvia had started decades ago were still thriving, thanks to the green thumb she'd instilled in me. The carriage house apartment was still at the back of the property, as was the tree house Micah built for me when I was little. The walls inside had been repainted, but only because the original bright, vibrate colors had faded, and I wanted to freshen them up. The peacock greens and other jewel tones scattered across the walls might not have been other peoples' style, but it was definitely mine.

I'd loved this house from the time I was four years old, and I couldn't imagine wanting to live anywhere else.

"You know," Mom started, pulling my attention from the lion I'd just found in a big cumulus cloud, "I was talking to Dani the other day. She was telling me that Hardin's divorce is nearly finalized."

I let out a groan and squeezed my eyes closed, knowing exactly where this was going. "God, Mom," I whined, sounding like a bratty teenager. "Don't start on this again. Please ."

Dani, or Danika Drake, was the owner of Muffin Top and another close, personal friend of my mother's. If she and Mom had been discussing her stepson's recent divorce, it could only mean one thing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said innocently. "I'm not starting anything. Just trying to make conversation with my daughter. Is that so bad?"

I rolled my eyes at the sky and sent up a silent prayer for patience. "It is when you think you're being all sneaky while trying to fix me up." I rolled over onto my side, pushing up on my elbow and propping my head on my hand. "The problem with trying to set me up with your friends' kids is that we all basically grew up together, Mom. I know Hardin." He was a great guy, no doubt about that, but there wasn't a chance in hell I would ever date him. My nose scrunched up and my teeth curled. "It would be like trying to date my brother."

She mimicked my position and reached across our mats to brush a tendril of hair off my forehead. "I just want to make sure you aren't lonely, love bug. That's all. You haven't dated anyone in forever."

"I've dated," I cried in offense.

She gave me a look that said she knew I was full of shit, and I had to curl my lips between my teeth to keep from smiling. She knew the truth as well as I did. I hadn't dated anyone in a really long time. It had been two months since my drunken hookup with Connor the night of Rae and Zach's wedding, and even though I kept telling myself I was going to put myself out there again, I flaked. I told myself I would try dating apps, but I hadn't gotten through the registration portion of two I'd downloaded.

If I were being honest with myself—something I'd been trying very hard not to be over the past two months—I would admit that I hadn't been able to stop thinking about Connor since creeping out of his room that night.

It didn't help matters much that the damn man hadn't stopped trying to get in touch with me in all that time. I had been so sure he'd push me to the back of his mind and forget all about me, but Lennix had been right. For some reason, the stupid, sexy jerk wasn't giving up. He might have left Hope Valley to hop back on the rodeo circuit, but the phone calls and texts hadn't stopped. Despite every single one of them going unanswered, they hadn't even slowed down.

Some days I deleted his messages without listening or reading. Some days I pretended they didn't exist. And then there were the days I was feeling particularly masochistic. On those days I'd curl up in my bed and listen to every voicemail, read every single text, until that wall I'd built around my heart specifically to keep Connor Bennet out started to wobble.

Those days were dangerous. But so far, I'd held strong.

"I'm perfectly fine being single," I assured my mom as I pushed up to sitting and stretched my back out. I need to focus on work and myself right now. I'm not looking to start anything."

A crease formed between her brows as she studied me with concern. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

My mother's insightfulness never failed to surprise me. Fortunately, I managed to keep my face clear. "I'm totally fine," I assured her, thankful that my voice remained calm and even.

"You sure? Nothing happened?"

I gave my head a shake. "Nope. Not a thing." My stomach lurched again, and this time I wasn't sure if it was the lingering stomach virus or the fact that I was lying to her.

I hated lying to my mom. It wasn't something I'd ever done. I might have been a massive pain in the ass growing up, but I didn't lie. That was a promise I was proud I'd kept all these years, and now I felt like the world's worst daughter.

"Okay." She still sounded skeptical. "But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

The cramping in my stomach got gradually worse as my guilt continued to build. "I know, Mom." I offered her a tiny smile, assuring myself that it was a tiny, harmless lie, and the reason I wasn't telling her what went down with Connor was because I didn't want her to worry needlessly. I took another pull from my water bottle, hoping it was dehydration from not being able to keep much down lately that made me feel so lousy. "That's what makes you the best."

Her expression cleared. "Okay, good. I guess I'll get going. I need to get to the flower shop." My mom ran the local flower shop, Divine Flora, that she'd inherited from Sylvia years ago. "But Micah told me to tell you he expects you over for dinner one night this week, and if you even think about cancelling, he's going to show up on your doorstep and physically drag you out. He really misses you."

I let out a laugh, trying to force my stomach to calm the hell down. "I miss him too. You tell me the night and I'll be there. I promise. And give him a hug for me."

She pulled me into a tight hug, the smell of her perfume invading my senses and making my mouth begin to water as I struggled to keep the bile down.

"Love you, sweetheart. I'll talk to you later."

"I love you too." I watched as she rounded the side of the yard toward the front, keeping my back teeth clamped together as I faked a smile. Then, as soon as she was out of hearing range, I bent over and emptied the limited contents of my stomach into a gardenia bush.