Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

R yver

Pushing through the last of the drunken crowd to the bathroom, I don’t let a single tear fall until I lock the door of the last stall. Maybe this is a bad idea. In a single day, I’ve fought with Cas twice and gotten into a catfight with a random girl. Back home, I don’t see him every day, and there have been weird lines drawn in our world from growing up together. This trip is supposed to be a new beginning, but now it’s a nightmare. Away from Seth and his stupid, ‘Don’t touch my sister or else’ bullshit that started so long ago. There is no way in hell I can stomach watching Cas night in and out with groupies climbing all over him. I’ll end up clawing their eyes out and then go to jail. Whether he is mine or not, I have a vicious, jealous streak that is hard to tame. I’m protective over all the guys, but Cas…is my first love. Hell, he’s still the guy I picture being with for the rest of my life.

Leaning against the metal door, I close my eyes and let the tears fall. How do I talk my heart into falling out of love with someone that I’ve been in love with for years? It’s impossible to believe that all my attempts are failing. I was so sure my seduction the other night would’ve pushed him over the edge.

The door opens and closes numerous times, girls talking about makeup and who they want to sleep with. Toilets flush, and the entire time, I just let myself go through the emotions that feel like death. Am I overreacting? Maybe…maybe not, but for me to even have a chance, Cas needs to decide what is more important. Me, or Seth. My brother is lucky he’s not standing in front of me right now. I’d break his nose to go with his arm.

Taking a deep breath, I pull myself together when the last of the girls leave. Heading out of the stall, I stop at the sinks and grab a piece of paper towel to wipe away the black streaks. I can still salvage this night. Fuck it.

Marching out into the loud music from the DJ playing, I aim straight for the bar. The guy working is adorable, and the smile he gives me makes me feel a little bit better.

“Well, hello there. You’re the drummer from the band, right?”

I smile. “I am.”

“Damn…you can play, like really play,” he says, leaning on the bar and biting his lip. The action draws my eyes to his mouth and the great set of lips he has with a ring through the side of the bottom one.

“Thanks,” I say, batting my eyes and trying the whole flirting thing. He’s all in. I can see it written on his face, and even though there is no flutter in my chest or pull in my gut, I know I’ll take him down the hall. If guys can fuck around and have one-night stands and be called heroes, then I can too.

“What can I get you?”

“Give me three shots of whatever you also want to have with me.” Pulling out cash from my front pocket, he waves it off.

“On the house. This place hasn’t seen this kind of action in a long time. The owner will be begging for the band to come back.”

“What’s your name,” I ask, leaning on the bar and making sure my arms push my boobs up higher in my top. He takes the bait and stares at my girls.

“Jaxon.” He pours the first set of shots and hands me one. “How about a slippery nipple to start? A night isn’t complete without one of those.”

Smiling, I take the shot from him, and he runs his fingers between mine before letting go. Knocking it back, I let the burn numb a little of the ache in my chest and set the glass down for round two.

“Next, I think we’ll have a blow job.” Jaxon smirks as he pours the second one and pushes it to me. Drinking it down, I smile at my mark for the night. “Last but not least, we definitely need an orgasm, or in this case, how about two?” He pours two shots and holds a glass out to meet mine, and we clink. I can already feel the effects.

“Most definitely. What would a night be without a couple?” I can feel the makings of a nice buzz, and in another ten minutes, I won’t care about much. Setting the glass down, I look around and notice four other bartenders working. “Do you get a break soon?”

“I can take it right now. Hey, Kylie, can you cover my end?” The closest bartender doesn’t bother to look over but gives a thumbs up as she helps customers. As soon as he steps around the bar, his hand snakes my waist. I look up at his sexy face and wish that I could feel something, anything for someone other than the four guys I’m not supposed to go near. Yes, I’m hopelessly in love with Cas, but crushing on Quinn, Finn, and Koa is like a ping-pong sport for my heart.

Jaxon leads me through the crowd toward the hallway marked staff only, and as soon as we are out of view of those partying, he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me. His lips are hot, but he is a messy kisser, and there is zero spark. A hand slips under my crop top, and I moan as his thumb rubs over my nipple, but really, I’m only going through the motions. Playing the part of the hot girl wanting a quick fuck in a seedy hallway. It’s a role I’ve mastered in the last six months.

Unlike all the other nights when I’ve walked into a shadowy corner with a guy I barely know, tonight feels different. There is no way to put it into words, but going through with this…no, I don’t want to. Pulling back from the kiss, I refrain from wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

“What’s the matter?”

“Sorry, I can’t do this.” I take a step to the side, but Jaxon blocks my way with his arm. I glare at his face. “Let me leave.”

“What kind of bullshit is this? You flirt with me, practically tell me you want to fuck, and then, once you get me all hard, you say no?”

“I’ve changed my mind.” Putting my hand on his chest, I try to shove him, but he doesn’t move. “Get out of my way, Jaxon.”

“Fuck that,” he says, burying his head in the side of my neck and kissing me as his hand rubs at my pussy like this is the key to getting me to say yes.

“I said I’m not interested, and I meant it.” Pushing and squirming, I try to move away.

“Don’t be like that. I’m a lot of fun.” Jaxon pulls at the buttons on my jeans, and I smack his hands away, ready to knee him in the balls.

“I’m sure you are, but I’m not interested.” I try to leave again, but this time, he yanks me back hard and pushes his body up against me with his leg between my thighs. A spark of fear ignites as I realize that kneeing him now will do absolutely nothing. “Get off of me, Jaxon, or I’m going to scream.” I swat at him and try to keep my hands out of his, but he’s bigger and wins out, slamming them over my head. “Let go.” He smiles back while I snarl at him. I open my mouth to scream, but he slams his lips down onto mine. Seeing my opening, I bite down hard on his lips, and Jaxon jerks back.

“Ouch, bitch!”

My cheek stings as my head rocks to the side, and I grip my cheek in shock. What the hell? Of all my interactions with men, no matter how far things go or when they stop, I’ve never been hit. Shit like that happens to other girls, not me.

“Son of a bitch,” Cas growls, and I whip my head around just as Cas grabs Jaxon, yanking him away from me. I’ve never seen him like this before, the rage in his eyes and his lip pulling up like he is snarling as his fist makes contact with Jaxon’s face.

“Jesus. Cas, stop. You’re going to kill him,” I say as he pushes Jaxon to the floor with his knee on his chest holding him in place. Even though Jaxon tries to block the blows blood explodes from the guy’s nose and split lip. Cas punches Jaxon again, and his eyes roll back in his head, obviously out cold. I grab his arm before he can land another blow. Even though there is a part of me loving that he’s here to rescue me and looks hot as fuck doing it, the other part of me is furious. Not because he has stepped in. I’m not stupid. I’m in over my head and very alone with a guy who plans on assaulting me. But he obviously has come looking for me.

“Stop.” I hold his arm tighter and pull until Cas stands up and backs away from Jaxon.

He grips my chin and turns my head to look at my cheek. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. My grandmother hits harder.”

Cas shakes his head. “This isn’t a joke, Ry. That piece of shit hit you. If I hadn’t found you, what the hell was going to happen?” Cas points at Jaxon. “No one touches you.” He cups my face, and I freeze, my brain misfiring as his lips close in on mine. I want this. I want him, but I can’t be all weak in the knees every time he feels conflicted and decides he wants me.

I shove Cas in the chest. “You can’t have it both ways, Cas. We are not together, you’ve made that very clear, so I can fuck whoever I want.”

He stills, eyes darkening. “You really want to fuck that guy?”

“What I want is for you to make up your mind because this rollercoaster ride you have me on is too much.” I step back so he’s forced to drop his hands from my cheeks. “You tell me you can’t be with me, and then in the next breath, tell me that no one else is allowed to touch me.” I look down at Jaxon as he groans. Good, at least he’s still breathing. Cas in prison because of me is a really horrible first day on the road.

“But Ry, I’ll always protect you, together or not.” That statement singlehandedly warms my heart and stabs me. “God only knows what he was going to do to you. I had to step in.”

I groan in frustration. “Cas, you stopping this dickless wonder is not the problem. It’s the possessive attitude and look in your eyes. I’m not yours. Remember.” I shake my head at him. “Don’t say shit as if you’re my boyfriend when you clearly believe that my stupid brother and his bullshit are more important to you than what we can have.”

Once more, my back ends up against the wall, but this time, my body is set on fire as Cas growls against my lips. “Why do you keep making my life so difficult?”

“I don’t think I’m the problem here. I’ve made what and who I want very clear. I’m not the one conflicted. You are.”

We stare at one another, my breathing as erratic as my pulse, but I hold his steely gaze until he finally lets me go.

“Fuck.” Cas runs his hand through this hair, and I take the opportunity to slip further away.

“We should get going before he comes around,” I say and march out of the hallway. I’ve seen tennis matches without as much back and forth as Cas and his emotions. It doesn’t matter. I’ve served the ball. It’s his turn to make the next move, and this is not it.