Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

ADIRA

I ’m standing at the front door of the outreach center for Omega’s Haven and feel really awkward about it, as the beta guard takes my name for entrance. Morris dropped me off with the understanding that I would text him when I was ready to be picked up.

I could have simply walked in through the back door at the shelter since my things are still there, but my life is so up in the air and my face is still a mess.

I don’t want anyone to see me. It’s been exactly a week since I was attacked, and while the swelling has gone down, I look like a walking statistic. I fucking hate it.

“Adira?” Dee asks, popping her head out for a moment. She works at the outreach center and I nod with a sigh.

“Is Aisling here by chance?” I ask.

Her eyes are wide before she forces herself to blank her expression with professionalism. I’m sure she’s seen worse than this while working here.

“Yes, come on in, I’ll grab her,” Dee says quickly.

I pull the hood on my shirt further up to hide my face as I follow her, trying to decide what I should do. I can’t go to work, since my face is still bruised, and my arm is still in a sling. Living with the guys full time in the rental isn’t going to work either, because my skin crawls at the thought of not having an area to call mine.

It’s not their fault I’m territorial.

I’m so far into my thoughts, I blink in surprise when Aisling steps into my vision.

“Hey,” I mutter. “I still look a mess. I didn’t want to go in through the shelter door.”

“You’re not going to scare anyone,” she admonishes. “You also did nothing wrong. Those men jumped you. Let’s go to my office, okay?”

The idea of less eyes on me feels better than staying out in the middle of the large room, and I nod as I follow her. My anxiety is crawling over me, telling me lies, and I’m having trouble regulating my emotions.

I had no problem standing in front of a room full of mafia men with my face beaten to hell and back, but they didn’t know me.

Aisling closes the door as she moves to her chair, motioning for me to sit across from her.

“Why are you hiding, Adira?” she asks.

“My teachers all looked at me this week as if I was battered, and one gave me Omega’s Haven’s phone number,” I grumble, sitting down. “I hate all the stares.”

“It’s better than no one caring,” Aisling says gently. “Unfortunately, you can’t exactly tell people what happened to you.”

Biting my lip, I gaze at her, wanting to tell her about all the thoughts and plans I’ve had floating in my head.

“What?” she asks. “You look like you’re plotting.”

Aisling knows the full story of what happened, because Duncan told her, and she met me at the hospital on Sunday when I went in to see Dr. Royal. The doctor was really nice, professional, and asked if I needed to also file a police report. Aisling softly told him that it had been handled, which he took at face value.

The criminal underbelly of Minneapolis seemed to be accepted so easily by him. I’m sure the emergency room brings in lots of different people, and it would be difficult for him to do his job if he judged everyone harshly.

“I kind of am, but I’m also tied up in so many questions and uncertainty.” I sigh. “It feels as if I’m paralyzed.”

“Let’s start with the plotting, and then we can untangle the ball of knots I can see you tangling yourself up in,” she says.

Looking through her desk, Aisling pulls something out. “I took up knitting to help with the need to always be doing something, but a spinner may help too,” she says, handing me a metallic blue fidget spinner.

Accepting it, I find rolling and twisting it between my fingers helps the clawing anxiety of my racing thoughts.

“What if I did tell people?” I say softly. “Did I tell you yet that ROWS has a podcast to tell omegas the right and wrong way to act in society?”

“No, but Dad told me when I went to brunch with him a few days ago,” she grumbles. “He filled me in on how you’re now on the senior member council. How the hell he managed that is beyond me. They give me a headache, though, and mafia politics are something I only involve myself in when I have a reason to.”

“I unfortunately have to be involved, so the old men will act right,” I tell her. “It took a lot of time to get them to agree to work with me and back, Pack Dresmond.”

“Are you including yourself in their pack?” Aisling asks.

“No,” I mutter. “I found out some more details about why they did what they did, but I’m not ready yet.”

“Shaw says you can maybe push your heat another two months at best before the pills stop working, but I want to hear about your plans to fuck over ROWS,” she says, both delivering the bad news and softening the blow.

Two months . I hate biology so much. It doesn’t seem like enough time. Forgiveness feels like such a big step.

Taking a deep breath, I nod. “I’m considering making a podcast where I post anonymously with people’s stories, discussing real world issues omegas should be aware of, and debunking ROWS’ fake advice.”

“Oh my God, yes,” Aisling says, eyes wide. “Is it going to be just a podcast?”

“It’s like you know that I enjoy biting off more than I can chew,” I grumble. “I think I want to start with the podcast, piss off ROWS, and continue going to school with a major in digital marketing. I want to create a referral website for businesses that work well with omegas.”

“My life would be so much easier if that existed now,” she whines. “Can’t we skip to the good part?”

Laughing, I can feel my body beginning to unwind. Somehow, Aisling always manages to help me navigate the noise in my mind, even when it’s simply with humor.

That means a lot for a girl who finds it hard to express herself these days.

“I ask myself that often,” I admit. “In the meantime, you can help me stockpile business cards. This really started as a way to poke holes in ROWS’ propaganda, but I’m really excited about it now. There’s so much bad information out there about our designations.”

“Have you thought about maybe doing doctor spotlights?” Aisling asks, eyes lighting up. “Debunk the bullshit about our biology.”

“I haven't, but I will as long as I can stay anonymous,” I tell her.

“I think you should be able to. I love this idea. Now, on to a more immediate question. Are you moving out? You don’t need to feel as if you have to,” Aisling says.

“I feel guilty for holding a bed when I haven’t been here all week, but I need a space that I can call mine,” I say. “It’s silly to say this. My little room is something I’ve claimed.”

“It’s not silly,” she says. “Omegas are possessive and need their own space. No one is going to make a big deal about your face. I’ll go back there and say something.”

“You don’t have to do that.” I sigh. “I just finished exams and I’m so tired. I may go and nap in my room. Morris dropped me off, so I could come talk to you.”

“You looked so nervous when you walked in, Adria. Life is filled with varying shades of gray, especially for us,” she says. “I’m sure people wouldn’t understand my relationship with my mates if they knew everything we’ve been through. I’m not ignoring the mistakes we all made, I’m choosing to love my pack in spite of them.”

Huh. “I think that’s what I’m struggling with,” I say. “How do I make my peace with what happened to me?”

“You watch how they treat you now,” Aisling says, gazing at me fiercely. “Do they worship the ground you walk on? Are they going to murder their father to keep you safe forever? Will they judge you, for putting yourself in a position, where you will never be at another person’s mercy? Dad said the way you killed your attackers was a thing of beauty. It’s high praise, Adira. Only you can decide what you’re able to make your peace with.”

With that, she stands. “I’ll walk you back. I need a little chat with them, anyway. People have been finding things missing in their rooms,” she explains.

“Who would do that?” I ask, annoyed and upset as I follow her out. Something tugs at my mind, but I can’t quite catch it as we walk back to the shelter. I’m simply too tired.

Slipping into my room, I text Morris that I’m going to spend the night at the shelter and crawl into my sheets to nap.

There’s an odd scent in my bed, and it smells like hibiscus. It’s too floral, bothering my nose.

“Ew,” I whimper, sitting up. Pulling my sheets off, I wonder why or how this is possible.

Peeking out of my room, I step out as I hear Aisling’s voice. The meeting apparently is already starting. I can hear the stern tone of her words. Glad I don’t have to sit through it. Walking quickly, I head to the laundry room with my bundle of bedsheets.

Even my knitted blanket is tainted. Was someone sleeping in my bed? Gross, oh my God. Gagging, I find an open washing machine to dump my sheets in. My blanket goes into another machine, my hands shaking as I pour in detergent. It’s supposed to pull scents from material, and I’m fully hoping it works.

I feel fucking violated. I’m so incredibly angry, because that space was mine, and solely mine. Everything I have is gone that was in my father’s mansion, the issue is it’s all finally hitting me.

It’s been months, my body has been numb, while I’ve been in survival mode.

This is my last straw.

Gasping out a sob, I cover my mouth with my hand. Except, I touched the sheets with it, and it’s now contaminated. A terrifying gag signals that I’m going to lose the small lunch I had, causing me to race to the large communal bathroom.

My knees barely hit the tile floor before I’m puking into the porcelain throne, shuddering in pain.

I’ve been doing so well, keeping my food down, and managing to eat better. This feels like several steps backward.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I flush the toilet, my stomach cramping up hard. My ass hits the ground as I rub my tummy, begging it to settle. I banged my hurt arm coming into the stall, and it’s beginning to throb as well. Today is not my day.

It takes a full twenty minutes and one more panicked puking session when I remember I haven’t washed my hands, so I still smell like my sheets before I emerge from the stall. Paula is leaning against the wall as I move to wash my hands thoroughly before I rinse my mouth out.

The whole awful process will begin again otherwise.

“Do I need to tell Aisling that you’re purging?” Paula asks. “That’s considered risk taking behavior and could get you kicked out.”

I didn’t know that, but I ignore her since I’m not purging. I wish I could keep my food in for fuck’s sakes. She can accuse me of whatever she’d like, but my trauma isn’t for public consumption, and she’s a known gossip.

For good measure, I scrub my hands once more before drying them. As I pass by her, I get a whiff of her scent and stumble. Hibiscus.

So many nights, I’ll forget to wash my face after work, so the gel continues to work in between shifts. I didn’t realize until right now that I’m so sensitive to how powerful it is that it stuffs up my nose. Therefore, I can’t smell anything.

Fuck.

Why was she in my room, and laying in my sheets?

“Can I ask you a question?” I rasp, my voice really rough after spending the past few minutes getting sick.

“Sure,” Paula says, amused. “I think you should be focusing on yourself, since you’re obviously such a shit show, but you go right ahead.”

“Why are you here?” I ask her. I was going to initially ask her why she was in my room, but pivoted at the last moment.

I don’t think I’ll get many answers from her if I go in full force. My fingers twitch for my knife, and I’m thankful I fell into bed with it still strapped to my thigh. I’ve started wearing more dresses and skirts, since they’re comfortable and it’s easier to access my weapon. If it makes sense, I’ll do it.

“Now you’re going to act all curious?” Paula scoffs. “I’ve been trying to be nice to you for ages, and you wouldn’t give me the time of day. I don’t think you deserve nice. You’re a pain in the ass. My boss wants a pretty little omega, and I’m going to give her one.”

“Your what? Ow!” I yell when she grabs my hair and starts to drag me toward the door. I don’t know how she’s planning to get me out of here, but I’ll play along.

I’m going to need witnesses that she’s a spy anyway. I’ll pretend to be a poor little omega for a while longer. I can’t kill every asshole who tried to kidnap me, can I?

“Let me go!” I continue to yell as she yanks me out of the bathroom and toward the back door.

I can still hear Aisling’s voice on the other side of the shelter, which means Paula snuck out.

“Why were you in my room?” I gasp out.

Paula slams me against the wall, and the scream when my arm bangs it, is real and filled with pain. Dammit.

“A part of me is really drawn to you,” she says, smirking as she kicks my feet out from under me. Unfortunately, my hair is still in her fist, giving her the perfect way to continue to pull me to the back door.

I may have to stab her anyway. There’s no way I’m letting her drag me out of here.

“The psychotic part?” I ask her. “You laid in my sheets and soaked it with your scent. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You must have missed my dried slick,” Paula says with a laugh. “I masturbated to your pretty face, too bad it’s so banged up now. My boss is going to be pissed you won’t make her as much money now. I’m here to find her easy marks for auction. A shelter is the perfect place for it, I told her.”

“Aisling!” I scream. Death is too easy for this bitch.

She got admittance to an omega shelter in order to pick and choose people to sell. Absolutely fucking not. All I can think of are the people like Meghan who have been nothing but kind to me, and she has a kid.

“Aisling!” I yell again, twisting to attempt to trip Paula. Punching is off the table with my arm in a sling.

“Shhh, you’re going to blow my cover,” Paula says, managing to backhand me before she shoves the door open.

“Adira? What the fuck,” Aisling says, running down the hall.

“Look what you’re making me do,” Paula says sadly.

There’s a note of mania in her voice, and I see the glint of metal as she pulls out a gun. The fact that she has a gun in a place with children makes me so fucking angry, I decide the bloody mess I’m going to make is worth it.

Pulling my knife with my left hand, I open it with a flick of my wrist and plunge it into her thigh, digging it in to fuck with her focus.

The gunshot goes wild, and I get my feet underneath me, so I can pull the knife out, twisting to shove it into her throat.

“No, I didn't make you do anything you stupid idiot,” I growl, watching as her hand slips out of my hair. Managing to pull the gun from her hand, I step back, breathing hard.

“Adira,” Aisling breathes, crashing into my back as she wraps her arms around my waist. “She fucking shot at me, the whore.”

“She’s working with someone,” I tell her, glad Aisling is holding me up, because I’m dizzy from adrenaline. “She… fucking masturbated in my sheets, Aisling.”

I’m so incredibly angry, my chest is heaving as I sob.

“Oh my God, what? I need this from the top. Did she hurt you?” Aisling asks.

“In a second. Close the door and keep the hall clear? She endangered the shelter by pretending to need help. Paula always intended to abduct someone to give her boss,” I mutter.

“Aurelia, keep the hall clear, okay? No one in or out. We have a situation,” Aisling calls out.

“But the gunshot, are you hurt? Should I call someone?” Aurelia asks.

“Shit, ah, not yet, okay?” Aisling says. “I’m also fine. Adira is quick on her feet.”

I hear Aurelia’s voice calmly herd everyone into the living area on the other side of the shelter, and I drop to my knees next to Paula. This skirt is going to have to be tossed out. Damn it, I really liked it, too. It makes me hate this omega bitch even more.

“Paula, I just missed anything really vital,” I croon softly, tangling my fingers in her hair to yank it back. “Would you like to tell me why you’re here?”

“Emilia said it would be easy,” she whines. God, are you serious right now? “The intake process was a breeze once I gave them some sob story about my pack mistreating me and needing some time to figure things out. Then, it was a matter of finding someone really pretty without anyone who gave a shit about them. You’re always in your room, a real loner.”

“You figured that meant no one cared about me, huh?” I asked.

“Yes. And you were going out with random men, the perfect little whore. I figured this was a good time to make my move, since you figured out I was in your room,” Paula says with a sigh. “It almost worked. Emilia is going to be so mad at me.”

Aisling drops next to me, her eyes blazing with anger. “She can be mad at you in hell, Paula,” she growls, pulling out my knife to push it back in, right under her chin. There’s barely any blood, and since I’m holding her hair, there’s nowhere for the omega to go.

Paula’s eyes go wide before they slowly fade of life, and I feel nothing but the overwhelming feeling of hatred and disgust.

“Now tell me the rest, Adira,” Aisling snarls.

I explain what happened, how I found my sheets, and the way Paula tried to kidnap me in broad daylight.

“The gel is really strong,” she admits. “It used to clog my sinuses all the time, I simply got acclimated to being scent blind. I’m glad you caught her scent, who knows how much worse this could have gotten. Thank you for protecting these girls, Adira. We accepted someone we shouldn’t have, and?—”

“Paula conned you,” I interrupt her. “You didn’t fail anyone, and I won’t hear those words cross your lips. Don’t even think it. Emilia really has it out for this place.”

“I’m sure she’d leak that I allowed this to happen,” Aisling sighs, pulling out her phone. “If I call the guys, they’ll lose their minds.”

“So Cian?” I ask knowingly, sending Damon a soothing message down our bond. I can feel his worry, because I was so mad, I’m vibrating with it.

I’m fine. I’ll call you in a few minutes.

“Cian will send Evan,” Aisling groans. “I’ll text them both.”

“I love that murder is a text,” I tease her, glancing at the dead girl on the ground. “How does Emilia get people to do this?”

“You tell me,” Aisling says, texting one handed due to the blood on her other hand. “I haven’t heard her podcasts, but all the propaganda on the walls of ROWS headquarters, and the way they speak there gives me an idea.”

Remembering how eloquently and fervently Emilia speaks on the podcasts, I sigh.

“Yeah, she has a way of getting people to see her side of things. I’m glad it was me and not someone else. This could have been worse,” I mutter.

“Evan is coming,” Aisling announces, tucking her phone away. “I’m so sorry. She may have been the person getting into people’s rooms, maybe to collect personal information. I’ll have Evan take the gun too. I don’t want that in here.”

“I want to kill her again for bringing one in here," I say. “Are you going to change your intake process?”

“We have to,”Aisling says. “This can’t happen again.”

“I want to start these podcasts as soon as possible,” I tell Duncan while on the phone with him. “The fact that Emilia brainwashed someone into thinking it was acceptable to lie to everyone here with the end goal of kidnapping someone for her is too much.”

It’s been a couple of hours since everything happened, and I’m now showered, clean, and in pajamas.

“ Aye,” Duncan grunts. I told him all about what happened, and apparently Evan is disposing of her body at a local pig farm. He was pissed off that this happened. I’m sore, but I have clean sheets so I’ll live. “ Classes are over for the weekend, you’re done with exams, yeah?”

“I am. I don’t know what to do with myself. I have too much time on my hands and my body hurts,” I admit. “I’m at the shelter because I need a space that feels like mine. I’m traumatized that Paula masturbated in my sheets. I was going to nap when I smelled her, Duncan.”

“ Fucking gross. Yeah, no. The guys know you’re safe, and we have to attend to a small issue, ” he says.

“Is Rock still blowing up your phone?” I ask. “Does he want to see me or something?”

The very idea makes me gaze down at the now clean knife. I don’t want to see him, but I also need to ensure I don’t blow our ruse that the Kelly brothers are using me as they said they would.

I hate this system so much, and wish I could simply blow up the entire thing the way Kane blows up buildings. Unfortunately, auction houses are a dime a dozen, a new one will pop up as soon as another is closed down.

“Yeah, Short Stuff. He wants to do it tonight, I can’t keep him away anymore,” Duncan laments.

“What are you going to tell him about my face and arm?” I ask.

“I’ll say you needed an attitude adjustment,” he says distastefully. “I can’t even say that without my stomach twisting. I can’t imagine hurting you, Adira. I’m in the city right now, I’ll pick you up in an hour, okay?”

“Yeah,” I mutter. “I’ll await my jailer.”

“Adira,” Duncan complains, but I hang up, depressed.

My phone buzzes again, and I almost send it to voicemail when I see it’s Kane.

“Hey,” I say, my tone clear in my voice.

“That doesn’t sound good,” he says slowly. “I heard about Emilia’s mole, little rabbit. Are you okay?”

“No. Yes? I’m not in the best mood right now, mostly because I’m going to see your dad. Duncan says he’s insisting on meeting today,” I explain.

“He can’t take you,” Kane says, his voice so guttural it’s hard to understand the words. My jaw drops at the possession and raw emotion in his tone. “I mean it. I’ll send the whole plan to hell and slice his throat just to be done with it. We’ll deal with his pack after.”

“He’s not going to take me,” I tell him gently. There’s something about this side of Kane that makes me soften toward him. Aisling’s words about how we need to decide how to move forward flood my mind, and I can see the truth in them.

“I’m sure Rock will try to throw more money at Duncan and Callum, though.”

“They don’t care about money,” Kane says. “The brothers refused to take the money we wired to them. In fact, little rabbit, it’s in an account for you instead. Don’t tell them I know that, but Morris found it while fucking around on the internet today. It’s crazy what you can find out.”

I don’t think Morris plays on the side of the interwebs that everyone else does.

“There’s no way there’s fifteen million dollars in an account somewhere for me,” I scoff. “I live in the real world, Kane.”

“Eh, that’s what you think,” he teases me. “You’re a mafia princess who wraps men around your finger. Those guys adore you. I just worry about you. Rock has a way of making you do things you don’t want to.”

Blowing out a breath, I admit he’s right. “I’ll have my knife with me, and I need to change out of my comfy clothes now,” I complain. “I’m probably going to spend the night with them. I have a feeling Duncan is up to something.”

“Irish fucker is always ‘up to something’,” Kane mutters. “Call me when Dad is gone. Stay in communication with Damon. I’m really jealous about that by the way. I have so many voices in my head, I’d love for one of them to be yours.”

I don’t know how to respond because he says goodbye abruptly, stating he has to go. Everyone keeps hanging up on me. Sighing, I lay back on my bed for a moment, lamenting that I never got my nap or food.

His words echo in my mind, and I wonder at them. I don’t know if he’s being serious or if that’s something I should entertain. While we aren’t scent matches, I seem to bring things out in him.

Sometimes it’s possessiveness, other times a deep calm. Kane followed orders, but I can tell it weighs on him.

I feel tingles when I’m around the alpha, and he and the guys mentioned buying a house for us. I really need to decide what I need, if having them in my life outweighs our past, and what that’ll look like.

“Being an adult sucks,” I groan, burying my head in my pillow. Thankfully, they were spared Hurricane Paula, and I can’t smell her at all.

Every day brings new challenges, and yet Pack Dresmond hasn’t walked away or complained. I have a long list of insecurities and anxiety, but the guys merely want to help. I can’t even say all of them stem from what happened, being an omega comes with its fair share of crazy.

Two months, Aisling said. That’s how long I have to decide if I can accept the guys into my life. It’s not very long at all, yet I know better than anyone how much can happen in the span of a heart beat.

Forcing myself to get out of bed, I dress in a pretty dark blue dress and thick tights, knowing Rock will expect me to appear in a certain way. I may as well add acting to my resume, since I’m going to have to get really good at it. While smiling is off the table, my words will need to be enough.

Ready or not, here we go.