Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

ADIRA

I ’m not sure how I lived through the drive of shame back to the shelter, but I managed. Ugh, they had a lot to say though.

“So what’s the deal with Crazy Kane?” Duncan asks, turning in the seat smugly. He’s pretty full of himself, I see. Callum simply gives a dark chuckle, while I roll my eyes.

I’m keeping my legs pulled demurely to the side, because my destroyed panties were left behind in the locker room. I’m not really embarrassed by what I did, because I learned some important things about myself tonight, but I’d rather not flash the brothers.

We’re parked across the street from Omega’s Haven and it’s almost two in the morning. I’m exhausted and ready to fall into bed. I’m glad I’m not working tomorrow either, but I do have class.

“Don’t call him that,” I admonish. “There’s no ‘deal’ with him. He’s sorry, and I don’t care. End of story. Sometimes pretty words and an orgasm can’t fix things, no matter how many stars I may have seen.”

“At least we know he has game,” Callum mutters. “So he’s still on your shit list. Eventually, you’re going to have to figure this out. The bond is forever.”

“We’ve gone over this,” I sigh. “I’m well aware of my mess. I’m not confused about what I did with him, though I’m a little concerned about my new found knife play kink.”

“Fuck, in another life, you’d be perfect for us, Short Stuff,” Duncan says with a smirk. “As it stands, there’s no rush outside of the biological ones.”

“My heat is staying away, it looks like,” I mutter. “Shaw isn’t a fan of suppressants, but after being told some of the story, he agrees that I need time and space.”

“Then take it. I’m personally determined to get you back to a normal weight, because Kane picked you up like a rag doll,” Callum says.

“She would still be picked up the same way by any of us if she was back to her old weight,” Duncan says. “Short Stuff is adorable and tiny. A few more curves won’t change that. I’m making a lasagna tomorrow night though and picking you up from school.”

“I would complain that you’re being overbearing again, but you’re feeding me,” I grumble, pulling on my coat. “I guess I’ll go along with it.”

“I want you to practice on our gun range, too,” Callum says. “You’re our mafia princess, you need to act like it.”

“I still don’t understand why everyone calls me that,” I sigh.

“Maybe I can work on that,” Duncan says in thought. “Jeremiah was a recluse and pretty much cut off all family, but I vaguely remember someone once mentioning that he had a sister.”

“Really?” I ask, perking up. “Ugh, she could be awful, though.”

“Well,” Duncan drawls, “permission to dig a little and go meet her for you first?”

“Now you’re asking for permission to do something?” I ask, amused.

“This is invasive and means digging where I may not be allowed,” he says, shrugging. “So, yes, I’ll be polite and ask.”

“Then, yes. I’d like to know if she’s worth meeting. I’m doing this thing where I’m trying to protect my peace,” I say.

“You can still protect your peace and orgasm, I see,” Callum teases me.

“Oh, absolutely,” I snark, opening the car door. I still have my knife tightly held in my hand. I’ll need to pack it in my backpack from now on. “Good night, boys.”

Slipping out of the vehicle, I close the door and walk toward the alley.

“I hear you had an eventful evening,” a deep voice says, stepping out in front of me.

Gasping, I look wide eyed at Jed, swallowing hard. “I went out with friends, which is none of your business,” I breathe, looking over my shoulder.

The brothers are still in the car, and I relax slightly, knowing they’re watching.

“What’s the deal with them? They’re awfully cuddly,” Jed mutters.

“They’re doing the job you gave them,” I tell him. “It’s too bad for you if you don’t like it.”

My fingers dig into the handle of my new knife to ground myself, because I’m not doing so well at the moment. I can pretend to be a badass and not care, but when I casually run into them? I’m not. I’m a failure to all omegas everywhere and I’m weak.

I don’t know what to do with all the conflicting emotions of fear and anxiety inside of me. A part of me wonders if he’s still doing his father’s bidding. Is he going to take me back? All I know is that I can’t trust him.

I can’t…

“Hey,” Jed barks. “Focus, omega. Your eyes are starting to roll back. I don’t know what kind of thoughts you’re having, but you’re safe. Do you hear me?”

“I’m not safe with you,” I wheeze. Fuck a duck, I’m not breathing. “Don’t take me back to him.”

“No, fuck. Adira, I just wanted to see you. I didn’t think…”

“It’s obvious to me that you don’t do much of that,” Duncan says, his heavy hands on my shoulders. I didn’t realize they left the truck. “Come on, Short Stuff. Take one big breath for me.”

Gasping, I shudder as tears begin to fall from extreme stress. The air smells like burned cookies and despair.

“Fair enough,” Jed mutters, taking a small step toward me before dropping to his knees. “I’m going to make myself as small as possible for you, baby. Listen to my words, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, leaning against Duncan’s chest. Callum stands next to me, arms crossed as he glares down at Jed.

It occurs to me that this is a vulnerable position for an alpha, but he dropped to his knees for me anyway.

“I’m going to kill Rock Dresmond,” Jed says. “I’m no longer my father’s well trained dog. I am done taking orders from him. I’ve gathered enough support in Missouri that when I make my move for leadership, no one living will deny my right to it. If it’ll help your fear, I’ll loop you in. You will never ever be sold at auction again.”

“You’re shaking so hard,” Duncan grunts. “Keep breathing. After this, you’re going to get your shit and come home with us.”

“Why?” Jed asks, eyes wide.

“Nightmares,” Callum mutters. “She won’t tell us if she’s having them or not, but after this…”

“Memories will be too close,” Duncan says.

“Loop me into what?” I rasp. My fingers grip Duncan’s pant leg just for something to hold onto, and he begins to rub my shoulders.

“I’ve been having meetings in Missouri for a couple of weeks, but now that my business is complete there, I’ll be doing the same in Minnesota,” Jed says. “The families don’t really like me here, though.”

“Because you’re insane and difficult to work with,” Duncan mutters. “You have your work cut out for you here.”

“I networked a bit at the fight, but I think you’re right,” Jed grumbles. “I can’t move on my father unless I’m able to get support here.”

“Should I help him, Short Stuff?” Duncan asks, sighing. “Fuck, I guess I have to for your sake.”

“Don’t hurt yourself now,” I mutter. He snorts, while Jed looks between us with confusion.

“I’ll see if I can get you in with some of the families,” Duncan says with a sigh. “I introduced Adira, and she was received well tonight. She will never play second fiddle to anyone.”

“Of course not,” Jed murmurs. “I’m very confused about what’s going on here.”

“There’s something that happens when you help someone in a traumatic experience,” Callum says. “Adira is ours. You’re an asshole, and she needs someone to remind her of how incredible she is. She will never crawl for anyone.”

“Never,” Jed repeats. “Stand with me then and rule by my side.”

“Wait. What?” I ask. This is already moving too fast. I want off this ride, please.

His hands move to my thighs, rubbing them gently.

“Duncan told you to breathe,” he reminds me.

“I don’t do what alphas tell me to,” I snark, forcing myself to breathe. I don’t want to pass out simply to prove a point. “I don’t want to be a pawn in the middle of things either. I want to get my life together and figure out who I am outside of the mafia, machinations, and drama.”

“Damon is in school to do the same, Adira,” Jed says. “We’re not going to lead the way Dad did. We want to have a legitimate branch Damon will run. He never wanted this life, but Dad forced him. You’re not the only one my father has twisted and tried to destroy. We’re aware, we see it, and we’re trying to fix things.”

“What if you can’t?” I ask him. “I can see that he’s trying, but Damon can’t just fix everything for me. He slipped a computer into my bag the first week of school when he noticed I didn’t have one. It was sweet, but he can’t buy me.”

Jed remains on his knees, shrugging. “Damon doesn’t see money like that. He wants to help you be successful, and an equal playing field is important to him. He can easily buy another, and it's a gift that doesn’t come with strings. Keep it. Failure isn’t an option for me,” he says.

“It’s not a pride situation, it’s simply that you’re too special to lose. My brothers and Morris are important to me too, and I thought I had to choose.”

Morris’ name makes me flinch, and Jed stills. “We fucked up,” he growls. “Morris was in an impossible situation, but in his head he thought he’d be able to spare you if he was involved.”

“I don’t think you can call what happened on that stage as ‘sparing’,” Callum rasps. “I need to touch base with her several times a day to remind myself she’s alive and here. It’s a hyper fixation I didn’t know was possible, but here we are.”

“If she goes too long without responding, I call her,” Duncan confesses. “I’m two seconds away from putting a tracker in her ass.”

“I’m right here,” I complain. “Leave my ass alone.”

“You three are so odd,” Jed mutters, slowly standing. “It looks as if I’m stuck with you two, so here’s the thing. I don't know how to fix this, Adira. There are so many different strings connecting us, the most important one is Damon. He needs you the most.”

“Then he can prove that he does,” I sigh. “You threw me away in my eyes, and a cockamamie excuse that you did it for my own damn good won’t fly. I’m not the same person anymore. What happened changed me.”

“My brother is very persistent and persuasive, little omega,” Jed says, pushing my hair away from my face. “We all are. Morris is staying away because of the guilt he feels. It’s so large, I have to take away his weapons when he gets home from stalking you home after work. I can feel his thoughts?—”

“She doesn’t need to know that,” Callum barks. “Adira’s heart is too big, she doesn’t need to be swayed into sympathy. Morris can sit in the guilt. Your job is to make sure he lives long enough to fix things.”

My eyes grow large as I begin to read through the lines. Guilt, depression, intrusive thoughts are something I understand. Except, instead of guilt, it’s overwhelming shame.

“Good night, Jed,” Duncan adds.

“She’ll be with you tonight?” Jed asks, backing away.

“Yeah,” Duncan agrees.

“I’m sorry I disturbed your night, Adira. I wasn’t going to say anything to you, but it didn’t quite go the way I thought it would,” he says. Turning, the darkness swallows him up just as quickly as he appeared.

“It never seems to go the way he thinks it will,” Callum mutters. “Grab your things, Adira. We’ll make a big bed with the couch cushions in the den.”

Nodding, I walk away from them, my mind tangled in knots as I think. Rock really is going to be killed, which is what Damon told me. How much more is real and true?

DAMON

My history class is only bearable because Adira is in it. The teacher is dry as toast, and equally boring. It’s a struggle this early to stay awake and aware, but I force myself to take notes on my new computer. She hasn’t mentioned my old one, and I wonder why.

Instead, she’s taking notes on it, and my lips are curled into a perpetual smile as I watch her. I am getting really good at staring at her while taking notes. I’m surprised the teacher hasn’t called me out for it yet, but I guess as long as I’m kind of paying attention, it doesn’t really matter.

As the class ends, I pack and lithely stand, already walking toward her. Adira’s stuck in the middle of a row again, so escape from me isn’t in the cards for her today. Falling into step with her as she finally moves onto the stairs, I stay silent.

Today, I want her to say the first word. I don’t care if we’re quiet the entire time as we walk to her next class, because that’s what my plans are today. I want to stay as close as possible until I have to let her go.

“Were you at the fight yesterday?” Adira finally asks as we walk out of the building into the cold air. Her hair blows out of her face, and I can smell her sweet scent as it does.

“I was,” I reply. “I saw you making the rounds with the Kelly brothers.”

“They wanted to get me out of the house,” she says, shrugging. There’s strain in her voice, a sadness that makes my heart hurt for her. Adira’s finger absently runs over my hand before flinching away.

Did she want to soothe me? The bond pulls two people together, makes them crave each other, even when it's not as tightly entwined as we are. It’s why a dysfunctional relationship is so confusing for a bonded couple. A scent match is supposed to want to be with the person all of the time.

“Why is that?” I ask innocently, not wanting the conversation to die yet.

“It was my day off,” she murmurs. “They also wanted to test a theory.”

I don’t like any theories that have to do with my omega. A low growl fills the air before I can stop it, and she simply huffs in annoyance at me.

“Whatever you’re thinking, is wrong,” she says decisively.

“I know you have a direct connection to my brain, but do tell,” I tell her, smirking.

“The theory is that I react to certain stimuli,” she says primly. Adira Firestone should not be able to be this cute and proper. Talking about sex seems to pain her, though my brother told me about how outspoken she can be.

No secrets means we talk about everything now, even though Morris is drifting further away it seems. Jed is worried about him, but I don’t know how I can help. Or if I’ll make it worse.

“Blood and testosterone?” I guess, raising my right hand if weighing the words.

“You got it in one, Alpha,” she says.

I’ve never been called ‘alpha’ like that before. Kane and I work in the background with my oldest brother. It’s always been due to how uncomfortable I am around omegas and any kind of attention from people in general.

My brother gets fawned over when he attends a meeting with my father, and it always made me feel gross when he talked about it.

Words have power, and the less I’m around ones that remind me of my past, the better.

I don’t think she knows what being called ‘alpha’ does to me, and I swallow hard before I accidentally show her. My cock, however, is rock hard and begging to be stroked in the same way her words just massaged my ego. Damn, little omega.

“So the idea of my closet proposal wasn’t completely out of left field,” I purr. Adira shivers for reasons that have nothing to do with the weather, and shrugs.

“The fact that you’re calling it that is preposterous,” she mutters.

We’re getting closer to her class, and I’m beginning to feel anxious. I need to make a good impression, say something that’ll stay with her.

“I want my omega to be able to live her life in a way that makes her feel safe and cherished,” I growl, knowing it to be true. “Watching my father die, knowing you’re a part of his end, may help quiet the whispers that lie to you in the middle of the night, Adira.”

I was woken up at four o’clock in the morning today to screaming in my mind. All I could feel was fear so deep, it kept me frozen in despair for minutes after she was pulled awake by someone.

Jed came running to my room, and all I could do was rasp, “Adira had a nightmare.”

Jed gazed at me for a moment before sighing and muttering that it was his fault. He had gotten in after me, so I got up and had him tell me all about it.

We’re all mind fucked in some way now.

“Will you still want me if I’m a murderer?” she asks, uncaring of the people around us.

I’ve noticed how people avoid both of us when we walk together lately, but since I don’t care what people think about me, I ignore it. If I find out they’re being rude to Adira, I’ll get involved at that point.

“I would want you covered in blood, so I can fuck you in it after you’ve delivered the final blow, baby girl,” I croon. “Fuck, this isn’t helping my cock, Adira. Please, it hurts.”

“I’m not touching it, and no one else should be either,” she says with a shrug.

“I’m the only one touching it,” I say.

“I said no one,” the tiny omega growls, her adorable nose wrinkling as she glances up at me.

“Damn, that’s cold,” I sigh.

“Eh, I don’t care. Um, I forgot what we were talking about,” she admits.

All I can smell is snickerdoodles and I groan.

“Shh,” she says. “I need to go buy scent and slick proof panties. This is getting embarrassing.”

“Nuh-uh. This is what fucking hope smells like,” I tell her. “If you’re perfuming for me, then there’s a chance for something good. Don’t take that from me. Please.”

Her lips twitch, and I pray it’ll widen into a smile. Her emotions to the outside world are stunted, a disconnect between her soul and her emotions. The auction fractured so much.

We owe it to her to give her a chance to heal.

“Maybe,” Adira says.

I’m desperate to continue this conversation, but her classroom door is open and just a few doors away.

“I want more of this,” I tell her finally. “You’re so beautiful it hurts, and the way you tease me is a drug.”

Adira almost runs into someone as she looks up at me in shock, and I sweep her out of his path, so she’s facing me.

“Those are some really pretty words, Alpha,” she murmurs.

“Baby, I’m on the edge,” I growl. “Give me something, anything.”

“I like your propositions. So what do you want?” Adira asks.

“Time with you,” I say immediately. “In any way I can.”

“I work a lot,” she admits.

I hate that she feels she needs to. I respect that she won’t take my money, but I wish she’d let me make things easier.

“You have two days off a week,” I say, uncaring that I’m showing my hand. She told me that she didn’t work yesterday, but my brothers and I are stalkers.

“The brothers take up a lot of my time…” she says.

“Doing what?” I growl. Ugh, I’m getting very close to making someone piss themselves. An omega male near us whines, and I attempt to pull back my possessiveness.

“They’re teaching me how to shoot,” Adira says. “Duncan says I need to know self defense too. While where I’m staying has classes, I’m usually working during them.”

I met Gabriel yesterday, the guy who owns the gym Kane has been going to, and he said he offered self defense lessons to a local omega shelter in his spare time. I have a feeling he may be the instructor who does the classes Adira is talking about.

“I can teach you,” I say immediately. “I’m a sharpshooter, sniper, and when I’m not being a dumbass, a decent teacher.”

I may be the baby brother, but I helped both Jed and Kane become better marksmen.

“The caveat you dropped in there is concerning,” she teases. “Are you going to teach me how to not get shot again?”

“Very funny,” I growl, dropping my head to claim her lips roughly. “The brattiness is sexy as hell, Adira. Keep pushing.”

“Button pushing is my new favorite hobby,” she crows. “As long as you actually teach me how to shoot, I can finagle next week for a lesson.”

“What are you doing today?” I ask, trying hard not to pout.

“The Kelly brothers are picking me up for dinner. Duncan is making lasagna,” she explains.

“They have a gun range,” I remember. I don't know how I know that, but it was mentioned by them in passing once. “Can I come?”

Adira looks surprised before she nods. “I’ll ask,” she says.

Pulling out my phone, I unlock it and hand it to her. “Text yourself from my phone?” I ask. “This way you can message me with what their answer is.”

While I typically don’t care if I ruin their time together, I am doing this new thing where I try not to piss her off. Respecting boundaries, something I suck at.

Adira quickly sends herself a message from my phone, and then hands it back to me.

“Now, I really have to go,” she tells me. “Maybe I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I murmur as she turns away.

Everything inside of me yearns for her, and I can’t tone it down. Adira is fierce, even if she’s trying to remember that. I also get the privilege of watching her in class, nodding to herself and raising her hand to ask or answer questions. I’m fascinated by the way her mind works, and am dying to see how she handles a gun.

My cock twitches just thinking about it, making me grunt in pain.

Her head snaps around, eyes wide. I’ve made it very clear how I feel about her, and she rubs her chest as if in pain. Struggling to reel it back, I take a deep breath.

“Lost my control for a moment,” I rasp.

“No touching,” she says instead, her eyes sparkling in mischief before she leaves me in the hallway.

This little omega is going to kill me.