Big Brother

The headache got worse on the drive to the Boones' house. Colt blamed it on the fact that he was hot—really hot, actually, but weirdly, not sweating—and then cold a moment later. That was probably the truck; the heater was on its way out, and so the cab could swing from sweltering to freezing in a matter of minutes. That probably explained why he was shivering. And why his joints had started to throb by the time he pulled into the Boones' driveway. The suspension, Colt thought as he climbed down from the truck. The old Ford wasn't the smoothest ride.

On his way to the door, he hit a slippery patch, although it looked like the Boones had shoveled the walk. But there must have been ice. Black ice. That was why the world went all scrambly for a moment and he had to put a hand on the side of the house and wait for things to stop spinning. Then he remembered the present, and he had to shuffle back to the truck. Slow, slow. Because the driveway had some of those slippery spots too.

Maybe it's because I didn't sleep, he thought. Evie was sick, and she'd been up all night tossing and crying. She'd practically been glued to his lap all day. But he just had to get through one meal. One perfect, flawless, zero-fuck-ups meal. With Ash's older brother.

It wasn't that Colt was scared of meeting him. Everybody talked about how nice Levi was. Ash certainly talked about it. As a matter of fact, Ash worshipped the ground Levi walked on. Ash played football because Levi played football. Ash played basketball because Levi played basketball. Ash played baseball because Levi played baseball. Hell, Ash played piano because Levi played piano. And Levi was smart, too. He'd gotten a great scholarship to the University of Arkansas. He already had a summer internship lined up. He was probably going to get his MBA a couple of years after he graduated. He didn't have a girlfriend right now, but he could get one whenever he wanted. All of this information was delivered by Ash with a kind of baseline wonder, like the starting place for everything with Levi was getting your socks knocked off.

So, no, Colt wasn't scared of meeting him. He was just Ash's brother. Ash's only brother. Ash's favorite brother. Ash's brother, whom he loved so much that he had one time told Colt, with total confidence, that Levi probably could have played football for Mizzou if he'd wanted to.

Colt hadn't grown up with an older brother, but it hadn't been hard to recognize the dynamic. He knew not all brothers were like that. But it probably shouldn't have been a surprise that the Boones, who were the perfect family in literally every way, would also have a pair of sons who were best friends. And that's why Colt hadn't said anything when Ash mentioned, in passing, that he hadn't talked to Levi in weeks. That's why Colt didn't frown when Ash told him how busy Levi had been. Colt didn't say anything about why Levi hadn't come home that summer, after Colt and Ash had started dating. He didn't say anything about the unhappiness that sometimes shimmered in Ash's face when he talked about Levi. He didn't say anything, because he knew, if he opened his mouth, all he could do was hurt Ash more.

The wind must have picked up because as Colt gingerly made his way to the porch, he heard this high-pitched rushing noise in his ears. He hit another of those wobbly patches, and he only barely managed to save himself—and, by some luck, save the present (a bottle of sparkling cider, non-alcoholic of course, since J-H would have shat himself and Pops would have murdered him if Colt had actually tried to buy wine). They really needed to throw down some salt, he thought muzzily as he took the steps up to the porch. And when did the wind get that loud?

When Colt knocked, the house started to tilt sideways, and he realized something had gone wrong. He tried to grab on to the house to make it straighten up, but he couldn't quite seem to catch up with it. From a long way off came the sound of glass shattering, and then the bright, summery sweetness of apples. The door swung open, and an Ash who wasn't Ash stood there: taller, broader across the chest and shoulders, his hair short and brown instead of long and auburn. Levi, a distant part of Colt's brain informed him. Not Ash.

He opened his mouth to say hello. And, instead, he puked all over Levi's feet.

The worst part was they wouldn't let him go home, and, apparently, it was impossible to die from humiliation.

After a startled shout, Levi had caught Colt before he could hit the ground. Somehow, he'd gotten Colt inside—that part was a blur—and now Colt found himself on the sofa in the Boones' living room, with a blanket over his legs. Ash sat next to him, running his fingers through Colt's hair, occasionally pressing a cold cloth to Colt's forehead.

"Do you need more Tylenol?" Ash whispered.

"He's not allowed to have more Tylenol for six hours," Mrs. Boone said from the kitchen. And then, in a different tone, "I'm sorry to bother you, Emery. I think Colt's sick."

Colt groaned.

"Are you too hot?" Ash asked, the words sharp with panic. And then: "Too cold? Do you need to throw up?"

Shaking his head, Colt wondered if Ash would do the good, boyfriendly thing and bury him under the sofa cushions, and then the Boone family could have their nice dinner without him.

"No, he'll be fine," Mrs. Boone said in the background. "We'll see you when you can get here." Her voice changed, and she said, "Colt, your dad's at the urgent care with Evie. He'll be here as soon as he can."

Colt groaned again.

"Bruh," Ash whispered, tickling the back of Colt's neck with his fingers. "I'm so sorry you're sick."

"No, I'm sorry. I ruined dinner."

"It's fine. It's just dinner."

But it wasn't just dinner. It was Levi.

The front door opened and shut, and unfamiliar steps moved toward the living room. "I think I got all the glass," Levi said, "but I'll check again in the morning." He appeared in Colt's field of view as he shucked his winter coat, and then he grimaced. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Colt croaked.

"He's really sick," Ash said.

"I feel a lot better."

Ash and Levi gave him identical looks, which would have been hilarious if he hadn't been millimeters away from barfing again.

The best Colt could come up with was "Sorry about the puke."

"Oh man, no big deal," Levi said with a laugh as he flopped down into a chair. "You live with guys at college, that stuff kind of washes over you after a while. You know what you need? Some Sprite." He started to get up again. "I think we've got some in the basement."

"I'll get it," Ash said, shooting up.

"You stay—" Levi tried.

Ash spoke over him. "I should have thought of Sprite. I can get it. I'll get it super fast."

Levi had a strange smile on his face as he watched Ash sprint off; the house thundered under his steps, and in the kitchen, Mrs. Boone called out, "Ashley, slow down!" Then Levi turned that smile on Colt. He did look a lot like Ash. Not as handsome, but maybe Colt was biased. Nobody could look at them, though, and not see how similar they were.

"It's nice to meet you, Colt," he finally said. "I, uh, I don't know what Ash said to you." His silence felt like a pause instead of a question, and sure enough, after a moment, he continued. "I should have come home. I should have done this earlier."

Even sick, Colt knew what he was trying to say. He should have taken Colt's measure earlier. He should have come back to see the boy who turned his baby brother, the person he loved most in the whole world, into a fag. Colt's face was hot, and it had nothing to do with the fever.

"Watching him with you—" Levi said and stopped. The whole house shook with Ash's steps as he raced toward them. And then Levi smiled again. "The way he wants to take care of you. It's nice to meet the guy who could help my baby brother grow up."

Ash launched himself into the room—literally. It looked like he was long-jumping, and the china rattled in the hutch when he landed. He held out a can of Sprite. He was grinning. His hair was in his face, and he was such a dork, and Colt loved him so much.

"At least a little," Levi added, and that made both of them laugh, and they laughed harder at the outrage on Ash's face.