Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

S ophia

Standing here, with Alex’s gaze locked on mine, I feel the walls I’ve built for years threatening to crumble. My chest tightens, fear winding through me, but it’s not the fear of danger or the chaos we’ve just survived. No, this fear is something deeper, more intimate. It’s the fear of being hurt again—of opening myself up to someone and losing control. Every part of me wants to retreat, to push him away like I’ve always done.

But then I look at him—really look at him. His expression is open, raw. He’s standing there, not just waiting for me to make a decision, but trusting me with the power to hurt him. I see the strength in his vulnerability, in the way he’s willing to bare himself after everything we’ve been through. It’s different. He’s different.

The voice in my head, the one that’s kept me safe all these years, keeps reminding me of all the times I’ve trusted someone only to be betrayed. It gnaws at me, reminding me of every painful memory. My instinct is to shut him out, to pull back and fortify the walls I’ve carefully crafted. But as I stand here, with Alex’s eyes never leaving mine, something inside me shifts.

If I keep hiding behind these walls, I’m not just keeping Alex out—I’m keeping myself locked in. I’m suffocating in my own fear, trapped by the trauma of my past. And if I don’t let go, if I don’t allow myself to feel, I’ll lose more than just him. I’ll lose the chance to be free, to truly live.

I take a deep breath, letting the air fill my lungs as I push through the fear that grips me. It’s not easy. It feels like stepping off the edge of a cliff, like freefalling into something unknown. But I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of running.

My heart races as I step closer to him, my pulse loud in my ears. I feel his gaze follow every movement, the air between us thick with tension, but not the kind that makes me want to run. This time, it pulls me in. Closer.

“I’ve been scared for so long,” I admit, my voice quiet but strong. The words feel heavy, weighted with years of fear and pain I’ve never spoken aloud. But I’m done hiding. I’m done being the version of myself that’s always running. “But I don’t want to be scared anymore. I don’t want to lose everything because I was too afraid to let someone in.”

I can see the way my words hit him. His eyes soften, and for the first time, I see a flicker of relief. I reach out, my hand trembling slightly as I place it on his chest, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under my palm. It’s strong and it anchors me in this moment.

“I’m ready to try,” I whisper.

For a beat, the world seems to stand still. Alex looks at me, his eyes searching mine, and then his hand comes up to cover mine on his chest, his touch warm and grounding. The tension between us shifts, becoming something deeper, something more. His expression softens into something I can’t quite describe, but I feel it—deep down.

“We’ll take this one step at a time,” he says, his voice low, filled with that steady certainty that’s always made me feel safe. “But we’ll take it together.”

Together.

The weight of that word settles around us, heavy with meaning. This is no longer just about surviving the chaos, no longer just about fighting off the danger. This is about us. About the bond we’ve built, the trust we’re still learning how to give each other. I nod, unable to find the words for everything I’m feeling, but knowing that this is the start of something new.

We stand there for a moment longer, the silence between us no longer filled with tension but with something warm, something real. Then, slowly, his hand trails down to my waist, pulling me just a little closer. It’s not rushed. It’s not desperate. It’s a promise.

For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel the urge to pull away.

As we walk through the circus grounds later, the energy is different. The chaos has settled, and there’s a calm in the air that wasn’t there before. The performers are tending to their tasks, the animals resting in their enclosures, and the atmosphere feels lighter. The immediate danger is gone, and for the first time, the circus feels like the home it’s always been. But it’s more than that.

I glance over at Alex walking beside me, his hand brushing mine as we move together through the tented pathways. There’s a peace in my chest that I haven’t felt in years. The fear that’s always gnawed at me is still there, but it’s quieter now, more distant. I’ve taken that leap. I’ve let him in. And even though the future is still uncertain, it doesn’t feel as terrifying as it once did.

The circus is rebuilding. We’re rebuilding. And as I look ahead, walking through the place I’ve called home for so long, I realize something. The circus was always a symbol of survival for me. A place to hide, to stay safe. But now, with Alex by my side, it feels like something more. It feels like a place where I can finally start living. Where I can finally be free.

The future stretches out ahead of us, uncertain and bright, but for the first time, I’m not scared. Not anymore.

When we reach my caravan, he leans in, close enough that I can smell his warm, masculine scent. A vixen awakens inside me with just that one note of Alex in the air. I suck in a soft breath, willing my brain to put one foot in front of the other and get me anywhere but here. "I'm good at reading people, Sophia," he trails off, his finger tracing up the crook of my inner elbow as we lean against the doorway. "The good ones, the bad ones. When they lie, when they're scared, when they're happy, when they're frustrated." His nose brushes along the shell of my ear as he finishes, "When they're turned on."

"You sound like a talented man." I shift against him, my body always so drawn to his. His broad shoulders filling up the space, his thick voice strumming every single one of my nerves and leaving me in a constant heightened state of awareness around him.

It's exhausting, being so turned on for Alex all the time.

"Let me show you." Before I can reply, his hands are at my waist, guiding me through the door and into the small kitchen in my caravan. He spins me onto the counter, seating me, ass first, on the counter and slipping his hips between my thighs.

My breathing hitches, my breasts suddenly tingling with the desire for him to touch me. The peaks of nipples painful and visibly cutting through my top.

I clamp down on my lips, crossing my arms awkwardly before he catches my wrists and yanks them away.

"Don't ever hide from me."

I gasp as his fingers dance under my waistband, the pads of his fingertips resting above the curve of my ass as he pulls me closer to him. He growls when our bodies connect, the length of his thickness pressing against my hot core. I groan as he slowly rocks into me, his other hand slipping under my shirt and up to my bra.

My hands clutch at his biceps, my lips open and gasping for air as he kneads me. His teeth cut into his bottom lip as he drives me closer to the edge.

"Tell me how many men have touched you before me," he demands, gripping my chin and forcing me to meet his gaze. "I'll want to kill every one of them for laying their hands on what's mine."

I can't help but look away in shame. "Baby," he says, catching my chin again and making me face him. "Whatever words come out of your mouth next won't change anything. I know you better than you think, it's my job to read people. And you're the most honest and true person I've ever known. I wouldn't have believed anyone could love me until I found you. And now, I'm with you no matter what."

"Alex..." I look up at him with wide eyes, completely enamored by him. "I...I don't want to disappoint you." I stammer, feeling insecure about my lack of experience. He's probably very experienced and here I am, someone who has never even been kissed. "I'm a virgin," I confess. "I've never been with anyone and I thought you would hate that--being with someone so inexperienced."

"Sophia, my sweet girl," he says tenderly, brushing his thumb over my lips before kissing me deeply. "Beautiful, gorgeous girl...it took me too damn long to find you and you can bet I'll never let go."

"Me?" I ask in disbelief.

"I've been dreaming of the taste of you on my tongue."

"Really?" I stammer, feeling a surge of primal energy course through me from the intensity of his gaze.

"And I've been wondering if your sweet pussy is the same delicate shade of strawberry red as your delicious lips," he continues, his hands lifting my shirt over my head.

"Oh..." I barely manage to reply as he pushes me against the wall.

"I can't wait to fuck that pretty look off your face," he grins, sweeping his thumb across my lips before kissing me again.

"Okay," I barely manage to say, still in shock at how quickly things are progressing.

"I won't stop until you're screaming and dripping off my chin," he promises, making my core pulse with desire. "I'll tease and please every inch of your body until you're moaning for me. And then...I'm going to sink inside of you, slow and sweet, letting you adjust to my cock filling your body. And then I won't let you forget whose girl you are."

"But–" I blurt out before thinking.

"I need to taste you."

With determination in his eyes, Alex carries me to my bed. And just like that, I find myself in my bedroom with a man. But not just any man.

Alex.

The words huskily escape from his sculpted lips as he leans in to press them against the fabric covering my most delicate core. My body burns with desire as I sink into his touch.

It feels like I can't stand anymore, but he pulls me closer by cupping my ass cheeks and breathing hotly against my skin. His eyes hold a hint of hauntedness before they warm and his cocky grin appears, causing me to clutch onto his long hair.

"You're an angel," he murmurs while standing up and lifting me onto his waist. I cling to him, feeling like this is where I belong for the first time ever.

"Just one look from you unleashes something in my heart - something that I've used as a cage to protect myself," he confesses while running his hands over my skin. "But there's no protecting myself from you."

I let out a sigh, my body responding to his touch, afraid of what this could mean between us.

"Yes," I breathe as he teases my skin with his fingers.

"That's my girl, always honest with me," he chuckles before focusing on my breasts. With a crooked grin and dimpled cheeks, he pulls down my bra cups and brings my nipples to life with his tongue.

My body craves more and finally, his hand drifts down to my mound. He slowly slides off my pants until I am nearly naked underneath him.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, laid out for me like this.” His voice is low, reverent, and his eyes devour me as if he’s savoring every inch. His gaze lingers over my lace panties, my thick thighs that touch, the dip of my waist, and then finally back to my eyes. The heat between us feels almost unbearable.

“Do you have a condom?” His fingers thread into my hair, his body pressing against mine as our lips brush, his tongue sliding past the seam of my lips with unhurried ease.

I shake my head, unable to speak, my hands gripping his waist as I tug at his shirt. “No, I haven’t been with anyone, remember?”

He pauses, his hips stilling against mine, and he tips my chin up, locking our gazes. “How could I forget?”

Our eyes stay locked, the silence between us thick with tension. Finally, I manage to nod. “I’m clean, I promise.”

His breath hitches before he presses his forehead to mine, and I can feel his erection firm between us. For a second, I wonder if I’ve ruined everything by telling him. Is this it? Will I never know what it feels like to follow through on this overwhelming need? I’ve never wanted anyone like this before. I want more. So much more.

“I know you’re clean,” he whispers against my lips, then captures them in a slow, deep kiss that makes me forget everything else. “But I need you to understand something. Us...you and me—it’s complicated.”

His words steal the breath from my lungs.

“But from the moment I saw you, Sophia, I knew you were different. Right here, right now, I’d give up my life for you if it came to that. Don’t ever doubt that.” His eyes search mine, waiting for me to understand, to give him something back.

I nod, my throat tight, my voice barely a whisper. “Okay.”

His hand slides down to the back of my neck, his touch sending sparks down my spine. He moves slowly, unclasping my bra, tossing it aside before pulling his own shirt over his head.

When his chiseled torso comes into view, the dim light casting shadows over his abs, my breath catches again. His body is perfection, every muscle carved and defined. I want to trace each ridge with my tongue, memorize the contours of his body until I know him as intimately as my own.

“Alex…” I murmur, his name the only thing running through my mind.

“Jesus, I love the way you say my name,” he groans, his arms wrapping around me as he pulls me against him. The heat between us intensifies as the space between our bodies vanishes, and all the air seems to evaporate. “Tell me what you want.”

“You,” I breathe, almost desperate now. “I want you.”

His grip tightens on my hip as his other hand works his pants down, kicking them to the floor. In one smooth movement, he’s back over me, his cock hard and pressing between my legs. He hooks a finger in the elastic of my panties, eyes flicking up to meet mine with a reckless grin before he tears the fabric apart effortlessly.

The pale pink lace falls to the floor, and his cock slides against my heated skin. My breath hitches, and I bite down on his earlobe, dragging my teeth along the sensitive flesh. He shudders, a deep groan rumbling through his chest as he inches inside me for the first time.

Time seems to stop.

My mind grows hazy, my body completely consumed by his scent and the intoxicating vindication of his touch. This is everything. He is everything. The feeling is like being high, floating on the edge of something I’ve never felt before.

A low groan escapes his lips as he pushes deeper inside me, the heat between us blazing even hotter when he reaches the barrier that makes me a virgin. My breath catches, fire igniting inside me.

“Once I have you…” His voice is hoarse, ravaged with desire. “I won’t go back.”

His words tear through me, shredding my heart in the best possible way. In that moment, I know—whatever pain this man has carried, it has weighed him down, stopped him from truly living, maybe even from feeling. But not now. Not with me.

“Never,” I whisper, my words barely audible as they brush against the rough stubble on his neck.

His eyes flutter closed, and then his lips find mine, kissing me with a tenderness that completely unravels me. His hands frame my face, his hips press harder into mine, and then— oh God —the hard steel of him breaks me. With one final thrust, he’s fully inside me, filling me completely.

Another groan shudders through him, his hands gripping my skin like he’s holding on for dear life. His lips trace over mine, over the curve of my neck, soothing away the sharp ache as his thrusts slow and steady. Measured. Controlled.

“So sweet, so fucking intoxicating,” he murmurs against my skin. “You break my cold heart and put it back together again, brand new.”

His words hit me like a bolt of electricity, shaking me to my core. Lust coils tighter inside me, the pain slowly giving way to pleasure. My muscles begin to relax, the tightness easing, and all I feel now is the thick, overwhelming fullness of him. Completely taking me. Owning me.

He’s stolen my heart right out from under me, long before I even had the chance to decide if I wanted to give it to him. Isn’t that the funny thing about love? It chooses you. It claims you, whether you’re ready or not.

“You completely fucking intoxicate me, sweet girl,” he growls, the way he says my name sending a shot of need straight through me, like a drug coursing through my veins.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” I manage to whisper between ragged pants, my skin slick as I claw at his back, desperate for more.

“It’s been the only thing on my mind since we met.” He catches my lips in another kiss, deep and slow. “I knew it was only a matter of time. I wasn’t going to have it any other way.”

His hand tangles in my hair, pulling my head back, arching my neck as his lips trail along the slick skin of my throat. His hips press harder against mine, fucking me with an intensity that sends my body spiraling into total submission.

“Everything about you calls to me,” he growls, his grip tightening in my hair. He pulls me closer, lips hovering just over mine. “I can’t stop fucking you. I’ll lose my mind if I don’t get enough of you.”

His fingers slide between my thighs, his thumb pressing against my clit, circling, teasing until stars explode in my vision. My body tenses, every muscle drawn tight as his hands move frantically, pulling me closer and closer to the edge. And then, with a broken gasp, I shatter around him, my body convulsing in waves of pleasure.

The room fills with our soft panting, his hands sliding up my damp skin, gripping my breasts firmly, possessively. His teeth find the curve of my neck, biting down just enough to send another shock of pain-and-pleasure shooting through me. And then it happens again—my body clenches, another orgasm ripping through me, my senses overwhelmed as he fucks me at just the right angle.

The release is too much, the sensation too powerful to contain, and I let it all crash over me, drowning in the pleasure only he can give me.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” His words spill out fast, firm, like he has to say them before the courage slips away. I slip my hand into his hair, curling my fingers around the roots, tugging gently. His body tenses under my touch, a low groan escaping as one hand grips my hip, and the other tilts my face toward his. His lips crash against mine, the kiss igniting something deep in me, something primal. He moves inside me, long and slow, his release filling me, making me feel claimed in a way I’ve never felt before.

I suck in a slow breath, emotion brimming in my chest as I try to steady myself, to stop my body from trembling under the intensity of what just happened.

“That was…”

“Beyond words,” he finishes, his voice still thick with the passion we’ve just shared.

“Yeah.”

He pulls me against him, tucking me into his body, my head resting under his arm, our legs tangled together, skin on skin. There’s no space between us—everything about us is entwined now, wrapped up together. Just how I like it. How I want it to be.

In that moment, I know I’ve already fallen for Alex. Maybe against my better judgment. But there’s no denying it now.

Then, the silence is interrupted by the most unexpected thing—my stomach rumbling. I feel a laugh bubbling up, and before I can stop it, he’s already chuckling, the sound warm and easy. “Let’s get you fed, pretty lady.”

I laugh as he scoops me into his arms, completely naked, carrying me effortlessly back into the kitchen. The ease with which he does it, the way his body feels against mine—it’s playful and intimate all at once. When he spots the apron hanging near the pantry, he grabs it, slips it over my head, and ties it around my waist, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

He dots a kiss on my nose, grinning. “Cute as a fucking button.”

And just like that, the weight of everything melts away, replaced with laughter, warmth, and the undeniable feeling that whatever this is between us—it’s something real.

Later, as we lay in bed together, Alex’s chest rises and falls steadily beneath me, his skin still warm and slick from our earlier intimacy. My body feels weightless, like I’m floating in this cocoon of soft sheets and his protective embrace. His fingers trace lazy patterns along my back, sending shivers through me with each tender stroke.

The silence between us is comfortable, but there’s something more in the air tonight. Something unspoken.

I lift my head, resting my chin on his chest, meeting his gaze. His dark eyes are softer than I’ve ever seen them, brimming with emotions I can’t quite place. His hand slides up to cup my cheek, thumb brushing over my lips as he studies me with a look that makes my heart beat just a little faster.

"Sophia," he begins, voice low and steady. “I’ve been thinking about this moment for a long time.”

I blink, suddenly aware of the way his heart pounds beneath my cheek. He shifts, and from beside the bed, he pulls out something small—a simple, elegant ring that catches the light from the bedside lamp. My breath hitches.

“I can’t imagine my life without you,” he whispers, his thumb now caressing the side of my face with a gentleness that brings tears to my eyes. “I don’t ever want to.” His eyes are filled with sincerity, love radiating from every inch of him. “Marry me, Sophia.”

My heart stops, and for a moment, all I can do is stare. The man who has been my rock, my lover, my everything, is looking at me like I am his entire world.

I swallow hard, emotions thick in my throat as I nod, unable to find the words. “Yes,” I manage to whisper, my voice cracking. “Yes, Alex, I’ll marry you.”

Relief washes over his face, and in one smooth motion, he pulls me closer, his lips brushing mine in a kiss so soft, so full of love it nearly breaks me.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting you,” he murmurs against my mouth, his hands now cradling me completely. “Making you happy. That’s all I want.”

Tears slip down my cheeks, but I’m smiling, my heart overflowing with everything I feel for him. "I love you," I whisper, sinking into him, knowing that this moment is only the beginning of our forever.