Chapter 23

I'd never had a Guinness before. And I couldn't even say if I liked it because I'd had enough scotch and mixed drinks first that I hadn't been overly picky when we switched to Guinness.

By the time I started drinking it, I had to say it tasted just fine.

"You should let us set up the first meet," Seth said, gesturing broadly with what I was pretty sure was his third Guinness. But I also might've lost count. "I mean, with our father. Your father too now."

"He's an asshole," Oliver offered, unbidden.

"Great. I already have one of those. Was hoping I'd maybe traded up." I knocked back more of my drink, although I knew it was unwise. I'd left the keys to the Jag with Maddie so I didn't have to worry about driving home. I trusted her with my car. With my son. With my entire life, basically. "Hey, you're both clearly married."

"Indeed," Oliver grunted, also many Guinnesses and other spirits in. He'd been drinking the hardest of all of us, although I hadn't been paying a ton of attention.

"So, how do you know you want to spend your life with someone?"

"Thinking you want to marry a fine lass?" Rex O'Cleary, the bartender, inquired on his way by. "Or not a fine lass, your choice, of course."

I frowned, thinking it over. "Mine is the finest. Not sure she's Irish, though. I should ask her."

"I'd say it's a good guess," Seth announced. "She's a fair bit younger than you, isn't she?"

"She's legal, dammit," I muttered before letting out a belch.

Lovely. I should not be drinking, at least not this much.

"How old are you?" Seth asked though Oliver made some hand gesture and answered before I could.

"Younger than us. Though who isn't these days?"

Seth sighed heavily. "Here we go. He's getting mopey. Why did you let him drink?" He was staring at me, which made no sense because he was the one who'd shared a womb with the guy.

"I've only known him a few hours. How is it my fault?"

"Because you don't know any better and I do. The one time I got him drunk was before he married Sage and he even wore jeans that night. Some people in town still talk about that halcyon day." Then he seemed to notice my own style of dress, which skewed closer to Oliver's than Seth's own, since he wore jeans and an ancient-looking baseball jersey. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, are you a copy of him?"

Oliver snorted out a laugh. "That's his worst nightmare, Jude. More than one of me in the world."

"It was a work day, though I didn't work. I mostly just shopped. But it was supposed to be fun tonight. My boy was going to see his first fireworks. And me too, come to that."

"You haven't ever seen fireworks?" Seth asked. "How? Where did you live before here, in a cave?"

I had to laugh. "My parents weren't into all that. Well, your mother too. Surely you must've known she wasn't the sort to have picnics and go watch fireworks and do all of that bucolic family shit she sold the idea of in her damn home line."

"She skipped out on us young. Not that young, looking back, but it felt like we were frigging babies without a damn mother. And you got her and don't sound too impressed, either." Oliver lifted his Guinness. "Goes to show, it's all just a matter of perspective."

"Guess so. Since you aren't exactly thrilled with dear old dad, either. One thing I fucking love though? Never expected to, either."

Seth held up a hand. "Keep it clean around here so you don't get Oliver overexcited so he tries to impregnate Sage yet again. If he had his way, she'd be barefoot and pregnant all year long, and a preggo Sage is not a happy Sage."

"More like your wife will be jealous and will want another herself. Don't hate, son." Oliver toasted his brother and drank heartily.

I lifted my own Guinness and realized it was virtually empty, dammit. "I'm hoping I knocked up Maddie, but it's too soon to know."

"Now he sounds morose. Carbon copy, I swear. Do they sell the attitude with the fussy ass suits?" Seth leaned on the bar to talk around Jude to Oliver. "Oh, and smart ass, Ally already wants another one. Sage just had the second faster, but Ally is ready for three."

"You had a head start, asshole. Years before Sage and I even considered getting together."

"Yeah, and whose fault is that? Always took you forever to make a damn move, brother."

My neck was starting to hurt from looking back and forth between my brothers. Holy shit, that was weird to even consider. These two men were my brothers.

And Syd was only my half sister, though she'd never be that as far as I was concerned. We'd been tight for so long, that bond could never be diminished. Especially since I didn't even know these men.

"I wasn't referring to sex before, but parenting. I fucking love being a dad and I didn't even think I wanted kids at all."

"Same," Oliver said, cocking a brow, reminding me of my own preferred expression. Maybe we were carbon copies of each other and how strange was that? "Who's Owen's mom? Obviously, not Maddie since she doesn't have any kids."

"Yet," I added. "Though she's already acting like his mother. More so than his own mother, actually." Briefly, I told them about Melissa, though neither of them had ever met her.

"How did you get to know Maddie?" Seth asked, ordering another round of Guinnesses for us. I didn't object, as much as I probably should have. But I hadn't been well and truly soused in years.

Probably not since the night I'd made Owen, in fact, and I hadn't even been drunk then, just buzzed. Due to my recent discovery of some photos that had led me to the knowledge of my brothers, I'd come to the Cove to stalk them and to unintentionally deepen my local roots. But I hadn't known the full story then, that was for damn sure.

I might never know it, since I didn't intend to discuss it with my mother. I avoided her as much as humanly possible on a good day, and what I'd learned today certainly hadn't changed my mind.

But Owen would probably need to get to know his grandmother. My kid needed family. If I disavowed her, fine, but I wouldn't make that choice for my son.

"I put an ad in the paper for a nanny," I said blearily, leaning on the bar. "Maddie applied, though I didn't realize she had when I first met her at her florist job. She's the best thing that ever happened to me other than my son. It's only been a short time, but I know I want to be with her. Forever. So, I guess you don't even need to answer the question about how do you know it's forever. I know."

"Does she want that too?" Oliver questioned.

I shrugged. "I'm not a swami. I wish I could give her space so I don't rush her into something she may not be ready for. She's not as old as I am. But I'm fucking ready to nail her down, so…problem."

"May not be one at all." Seth took a long sip after the bartender set down his Guinness. "Dude, look where you are."

"A bar?"

"No, Crescent Cove. Babies and families are the backbone of this town. Nowadays, if you date someone for more than a week without proposing or knocking her up, people say your romance is slow burn." He let out a loud laugh. "And I've known my wife since she was fourteen, so people think we're the slowest burn ever."

"He's neglecting to mention the wife he had in between," Oliver said behind his hand.

"Yeah, and who introduced me to her? Huh? Notice how he's quiet now."

"Do you two ever stop arguing?"

"Basically, no, but it works for us. And he's the same with Sage. However, Ally and I are best friends and soul mates and don't ever argue."

"I don't even know you, and I know you're lying."

Seth narrowed his eyes at me. "Yet another smart ass, huh?"

"Not being a smart ass, just calling you on your shit. As I'm sure you'll do with me in time."

"In time being like a half hour." Oliver smirked as he tipped back his own drink.

A group of people clustered near the window, and I wandered over to see the fireworks finale that everyone was oohing and aahing over. I hoped Maddie and Owen were having fun. And while I didn't regret spending this time with Seth and Oliver, I couldn't deny I was bummed at missing some of my boy's first holiday here.

But we'd have lots of other holidays with Maddie. I would make sure of it.

Seth came over to clap me on the back. "Had enough? I know you didn't want to miss out with your son and your girl, but I'm glad we had this time."

"Yeah, I am too." Oliver came up on my other side. "I really am sorry, man, that I fucked up telling you so badly. I just suck at emotional crap. I should've made Dad tell you." He snorted. "Not that he's some Martha Stewart."

"Martha Stewart?" Seth echoed. "She does home shit like our dear old mommy."

Oliver belched and pounded his chest. "Whatever."

"Honestly, I'm happy it was you." I raked a hand through my hair then just clutched the back of my neck where the muscles were so tight. "When I talk to him, I'll bring Maddie."

"Good idea. She's your touchstone, and you'll need her to get through this. We have each other, so we get how much harder it is for you."

Saying nothing, I nodded.

Oliver clapped me on the back. "Ally and Sage are coming to pick us up when we let them know we're ready to go, and they'll drop you off at home too. Unless Maddie is coming here."

I shook my head. Suddenly, I was so very tired. Exhausted, in fact. There had been far too many emotional revelations today.

"No, she's got my boy. She doesn't need to deal with me too."

We didn't rush to leave, playing a couple of games of pool and laughing about their kids and their wives and even Owen, when I shared something about here and there. I didn't share anything about Maddie, since it was early days for us. I also hadn't spent any time with her and her family yet, but I hoped I would get to soon.

Then Seth finally decided to call Ally to come pick us up in their mini-van since, apparently, she and Sage had decided to have an impromptu sleepover with their kids. He mentioned maybe Maddie could hang out with the ladies sometime, which was a really nice offer.

They were trying to include us already. And it didn't feel nearly as strange as I would've assumed.

Family didn't have to be painful, I supposed. Definitely new for me in all ways.

Ally came by a bit later. She dropped me off at home with a smile and an offer to come for dinner the next weekend and to make sure I brought Maddie and Owen too. Then Oliver said he and Sage and their kids would have us over within the next few weeks, so of course, I extended the same offer to both.

I'd even invite our father and Cookie, once I ascertained he was open to getting to know me.

First, I'd talk to Maddie and see if she would be willing to go see him with me at the earliest possible time. Just so we had our initial contact in private.

I didn't know if my luck with family could continue to hold, but so far, so good.

Maddie and Owen were both already in bed when I arrived home, and checking on both gave me a warm feeling of satisfaction. And love. I'd never had my own family before, and other than Sydney, my immediate family had certainly never given me the warm fuzzies. I'd never thought I needed them.

But having a family was already changing my mind so quickly, and it had only been such a short time. If I'd known what it was like sooner…

Perhaps I'd met Maddie right when I was meant to. When I was meant to have a family, despite any initial reluctance.

I changed out of my clothes, thinking again how Seth had indicated I was damn near a copy of Oliver in my more formal dress. I'd have to buy some jeans and T-shirts—and actually wear them now and then—to prove that I wasn't always so stiff.

I could relax, by God. I could. I'd even spent a night with Maddie and my boy watching movies, with more to come.

No way did I want Owen to look back and realize his only memories of me were always working, just as I had so many the same of my father.

Or the man I'd always assumed was my father. Sydney's father.

How would she react to learning we had different fathers? I'd have to assume not well, because we'd always relied so heavily on each other in the absence of decent parental support.

I sat on the edge of the bed for a bit and watched Maddie sleep. I stayed for a while, just stroking her hair until she must've felt the weight of my stare and stretched and yawned, her drowsy blue eyes flickering open and meeting mine. Instantly, she smiled, and the remaining tightness in my neck and shoulders instantly lifted.

"Hi, you," she breathed. Then she sat up. "Are you okay? Is Owen okay?"

"Yes, we're both fine. But you thought of us first before you even took stock of yourself." I leaned over to give her a soft kiss. "You have made my life so much better, do you realize that? You've been a fucking gift to me. Not sure what I did to deserve you."

"I feel the same about you and Owen. Maybe we just find who we are meant to when it's meant. Happenstance or perhaps kismet." She returned my kiss before easing back with a regretful sigh. "How did everything go? You didn't rush home before you were ready, I hope."

Before I could reply, she glanced at her phone, her eyes widening as she saw the time. "Oh, I guess not. I didn't realize it was so late. We came home right after fireworks because it started to rain just as they were winding down. Owen was up way past his bedtime though he looked so cute in his little slicker." Her lips curved. "He loved the fireworks though he kept covering his ears. Soon as we came home, I put him down and he went right to sleep. And I guess I did too. I never got to show him a video of fireworks first. Oh, well. Best laid plans." She laughed. "We missed you but I was so happy you met your brothers." She took a breath. "Okay, now I'm shutting up so you can talk."

"You can talk forever, and I'll never get tired of it. Don't worry there." I gave in and brushed her hair away from her face. I just needed to keep touching her as much as possible, even when it had absolutely nothing to do with sex.

What was happening to me? I truly had no explanation. Other than love.

Love was the answer for all the best things.

"It went well. They're honestly great guys. I mean, sure, they were probably on their best behavior since I was the new dude, but it almost felt natural with them. I don't know how. And their wives are sweet and their kids are adorable and… If I hadn't found Owen and you, I would've been eaten alive with jealousy that they had so much more than I'd ever had." A quick laugh left me. "But I have you two so what the hell could I ever be jealous of?"

"Speaking of sweet…" Maddie trailed off as she cupped my cheek. "Though you definitely tried to hide that part of yourself at first."

"I was anything but sweet before you and my boy. Trust me. I just didn't grasp how unbelievably lonely I was." I rubbed her knee. "You showed me what I was missing. What I could have if I just, I don't know, gave a little and stopped being a prick."

"Well…" She laughed. "You were kind of a prick when you first marched into the flower shop. But it didn't last long. Just like I said early on—when you learn better, you do better, and from the little bit you've shared with me, your parents were no prize." She ducked her head and gave me a shy smile. "Maybe now it can be different."

"It already is. Because of you."

Already the three words that my new brothers offered their wives so easily burned on my tongue. But I didn't want to say them here when it could be construed as just gratefulness. I was absolutely grateful, but I wanted her to understand that whether it was happening quickly or not, I understood what I was feeling.

And nothing else was shading that emotion. We had become a couple lightning fast, yes, but this was the real fucking thing.

No doubt there.

She leaned in to frame my face and kissed me once more, but when she went to untie my pajama bottoms, I stilled her hand. Much as I hated doing it, I had more to say.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to go see my dad. I hope you will come with me."

"Oh, God, yes, of course. I wouldn't miss it. I'll just ask Reagan to stay with Owen. She won't mind. She already loves him too."

"Well, she has good taste, as do you." I filled my hands with her hair and ranged my body over hers, nudging up her nightshirt to settle against her as if I'd been doing it forever instead of mere days. I kissed my way down her throat, letting her strawberry scent inflame me as it always did. "And you also taste fucking amazing."

"You're just a little biased. As am I."

She rolled against me, lifting her legs to wrap them around my waist. My already hardening cock notched against her damp slit through my pajamas. But I didn't slide forward because I didn't trust myself to make it good for her after all the alcohol I'd consumed. I was also tired as hell after the emotional wreck of a day.

"You also taste like hops," she teased.

"Had my first four Guinness tonight. I think it was four. Kinda lost track.." I chuckled against her skin, nuzzling her with my fading energy. "And scotch and mixed drinks and maybe something else too before that so if I fall asleep, I'm sorry."

"No apology needed. Did it help?"

"Honestly, I didn't need it in the end, but I suspected I would. Damn, you feel good."

"Same." She scooped a hand through my hair then feathered her fingertips down the back of my neck.

The next time I opened my eyes, the room was bathed in sunshine.

And bells were going off.

Or, as it turned out to be, the bells were the unfortunate choice for a phone alarm I'd set the night before on my way home so I didn't sleep the day away due to a hangover.

I wanted to speak to my father if he was at work today. I knew some people were taking the day off to make the holiday into a four-day weekend, but we'd lost enough time already.

Waiting wouldn't make this any easier.

I lifted my head and looked around blearily, shoving my hair out of my eyes when Maddie came in, toting Owen in her arms. "Oh, look, Daddy's finally up. We made pancakes for breakfast if you're hungry before we go see your father."

Groaning, I rolled on my back and flung my arms wide. "Did you make coffee too, I hope? I need about a gallon to go with my ibuprofen."

She winced in sympathy and put her finger to her mouth to shush Owen when he started a babbling happy conversation with the spotted fish he was clutching. "Headache?" she asked gently.

"Yeah. Think next time I'll skip the libations." I sat up and held open my arms for Owen. And for Maddie too, which she swiftly grasped and came to sit beside me in bed.

Owen climbed onto my lap and then he flung himself at my chest, making Maddie laugh as he pushed me down to basically clamber onto me. I hugged him tight, tickling him to make him giggle before I did the same thing to her. Then I planted kisses all over both of their faces. "Your laughter is the best."

"Which?" Owen demanded, still giggling and returning the favor by tickling me too.

"Both," I replied honestly, finally rolling away to suck in air between laughs. "Buddy, we have an important errand today, so you don't mind spending some time with Maddie's niece, Reagan, do you?"

He screwed up his nose as he seemed to think it over, then he smiled hugely. "She draws awesome fish."

"She does," Maddie agreed with a smile. "Why don't you tell me that story again about what Spot did last night while you let your Daddy go take a shower?"

I pressed my face into her side while I murmured, "Wish you could take it with me."

"Mmm." She brushed my hair away from my face, her avid expression telling me she was thinking of the last time—and only time—we'd showered together.

Which could not happen again today, alas.

After a few more minutes of tickling and laughter, I wandered into the shower and took a long, icy one to battle back the remaining dregs of sleep. Finally, I dragged myself out from under the spray and got dressed, returning to the bedroom to find it empty but laughter carrying through the house from the direction of the kitchen.

Was there any better sound first thing? Or hell, anytime?

I took a few minutes to text Seth, to ask if he knew if his father would be in his office today. He quickly replied, saying as far as he knew and good luck all in caps. It made me smile as I heard the doorbell. Then I headed downstairs to the sound of Maddie and Reagan's laughter, along with my son's.

Definitely the best sound ever.

We were on our way in just a few minutes, promising to let Reagan know if we'd be more than a couple hours. It took just several minutes to drive to Main Street and park in Hamilton Realty's lot, since traffic was light. Seemed like most people had taken a day off and weren't spending the day in town, probably because most residents had gone home late after the celebration the previous evening.

The real estate office's secretary was stationed behind the front desk, and when I asked if James Hamilton was in, she asked for my name. I identified myself as Jude Keller as I always had and my girlfriend, Maddie. Pleasure brought a flush to her cheeks and she looked momentarily surprised since it was the first time I'd said that aloud, but I intended to say it often from now on.

At least until I could call her my wife.

A moment later, the secretary told us to go on into James's office, the first one down the hall. I ushered Maddie in first with a hand on her lower back as James rose from his antique rosewood desk. He smoothed a hand down his tie, smiling benevolently at Maddie as she chose a seat.

"Madison, it's good to see you. How are you?"

"Fine, thank you, Mr. Hamilton."

"Call me James," he said immediately before turning his attention to me.

He held out a hand, pumping mine enthusiastically. "Can't say you don't carry the family genes, Jude."

I said nothing. Maybe a little alcohol before difficult conversations wasn't a bad idea, after all.

"I spoke to Oliver earlier, and he told me what you boys talked about last night. I didn't know there was even any question of what Michelle had let me believe until recently when Oliver confronted me with supposition from his PI. Well, let's say I didn't consider the possibility until recently. Obviously, I knew the math. We'd briefly tried to reconcile one more time before her final pregnancy. I never knew she was pregnant when she left town. After I paid her off to leave," he added, dropping into his high-backed chair with what could only be described as a soul-weary sigh.

I was pretty sure I'd made the same sound a dozen times back when I'd still dealt with my mother on a regular basis.

"I regret greatly I never looked into you, Jude. Never looked into anything when it came to Michelle ever again after she left here. My boys never wanted anything further to do with her, because of how she left. She didn't even say goodbye to them. Just took off. That was not a condition of her pay-off, by the way. I didn't want the boys to not have any contact with her at all when she left. She made that choice." He toyed with a gold pen. "I had more money than I knew what to do with, and I feared one day she'd just go away and make it even harder for her boys."

Wordlessly, I took the seat beside Maddie, taking the hand she extended to me gratefully.

"On his own, one day, Oliver hired a private investigator and did some checking. I believe he shared what he thought was necessary with his twin. But he, too, didn't know of your existence until fairly recently. But I want to make up the time we've lost. If there's any way to. I have so many regrets, son." He released a long breath. "Tell me what would help you to deal with this. My boys want to be brothers with you, and I want you to be my son. I mean, you already are, but I don't want any of this to be in name only."

I shut my eyes. "I don't know if Oliver told you I recently discovered I have my own boy."

"Yes, he did. The irony can't be overstated. But I have to be honest with you."

"Please do."

"I feel really lucky. Not only do I have another son, I have another grandson. I look forward to getting to know both of you, and of course, to getting to know Madison more too." He turned his kindly smile on Maddie as she rubbed her thumb soothingly over the back of my hand, just as she'd done with me since the first day Owen had developed that fever.

Even before then, the day we'd met at the florist's, she'd immediately stepped in and helped me with Owen. My gratitude toward her knew no bounds.

Nor did my love.

"I appreciate that. I had no idea any of this was a possibility until my mother's Christmas party more than three years ago, when I saw photos of your twins and realized she had another family. I did some checking and also hired a PI. Evidently, Oliver and I have some similarities." I laughed drily. "But I just thought they were half brothers, despite the notable resemblance. He laid the truth of it on me last night after Sage saw me and demanded to know who I was."

James chuckled. "Sounds like our Sage."

"I didn't bother to ask my mother after I saw the early family photos when I first saw Oliver and Seth. We haven't ever had a good relationship. My sister is closer to her than I am, but that's not saying much."

"Are you going to tell her about… this?"

"Yes, regarding Sydney. I want her to know about her brothers too. She may want to meet you, as well. I can't say."

"I'd be fine with meeting her. All of my boys have suffered because of this regrettable situation. I will help in any way I can. If there's anything that would make this situation easier for you and…Owen, is it?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yes, Owen."

"Anything that will make it easier, just let me know." He stood again and extended his hand, his voice thick. "Anything you need, son."

I rose and rounded the desk to give him a hard hug. He returned the hug even harder, clapping my back. When he moved back, his eyes were as wet as my own.

"I made my mistakes and I'm owning them. But like I said, I feel damn lucky. Not every day you get more family, and at my age, I value it more than I would've been smart enough to when I was a man your age. You have so much, Jude, both with Owen and with Madison. And in time, if you're fortunate like I am, maybe you'll have even more." He included Maddie in his warm smile. "Family is the best thing there is, however you find it or make it."