Chapter Seven

Sebastian

Amelia remains stonily silent throughout the drive back to her apartment. She reaches for the door handle the moment I pull in the driveway.

"Amelia, please…" I say, reaching out to touch her arm tentatively. "Talk to me."

She remains silent for a while, her body painfully rigid.

"Who are you?" she asks after a while, turning to look me dead in the eye.

Dread, heavy as lead, settles in the pit of my stomach. "What?"

"I asked who the hell you are, Sebastian Knight?!" she snaps, the sharpness of her tone biting into my heart. She lowers her voice, but it does nothing to dull the pain and betrayal in her eyes. "Why did you approach me?"

"Did you plan it all from the beginning?" she continues, her eyes growing colder with each accusing question. "The robber in my shop, you coming in like a fucking knight in shining armor... was that all part of your unconventional acquisition method? It was all to get me to trust you, wasn't it?"

"Amelia, I'm so sorry. I…"

"Oh God, I'm a fool," she interrupts with a humorless laugh. "Sleeping with you while you look for the best way to fuck me over. I must say, at least it was fun while it lasted!"

She storms out of my car, slamming the door behind her. For a long time after she left, I remained sitting in my car, staring blankly into space.

"You look like shit," Cole says two weeks later while we're seated in my living room. Rather, Cole is sitting, and I'm sprawled carelessly on the sofa in clothes that I've had on for two days.

"I feel like shit," I reply tonelessly.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day when the almighty Sebastian is heartbroken," he says in a mildly amused tone. "So, why did you let her find out about you from some random person at a party?"

"Do you think I wanted to?" I snap, then let out a weary sigh. "It's just… I was scared. Can you believe that? I was scared to lose her. I just put off telling her until it was too late."

"She'll come around," Cole says, a weak attempt at consolation.

"No, she won't," I reply, sitting up with a ragged sigh. "It's been two weeks, Cole. She won't see me or take my calls. She doesn't go to the cafe anymore, and I know it's because she doesn't want to see me there either. It used to be her haven, but I ruined it for her. This must be penance for my sin."

"What are you talking about?" Cole asks, his brow furrowing in confusion.

I take a deep breath. "I killed Dave."

"That's not true, man."

"It is," I reply, looking straight ahead, drowning in memories I thought I'd buried along with my brother. "He had a fight with Dad that night. It was about a merger gone wrong; it was a huge investment and it all went down the drain. Dave made the call, so naturally, Dad blamed him. Then he came into my room and asked to borrow my motorcycle. I shouldn't have said yes. I knew he'd been out for drinks with friends earlier, and he wasn't a good rider, so I should have said no. But I knew if he didn't leave, the two of them would just keep arguing, and the noise was distracting me from painting. So I just handed him the keys. I pushed him to his death because of my selfishness.

"It's why I gave up painting. Despite the lies I've told myself over the years, the real reason I gave up my passion was because of guilt. I thought that would be enough, but I guess not." I close my eyes, trying to contain the emotions rushing through me. "Do I have to give up the woman I love too? Is that what it takes for this to end?"

"You need to forgive yourself, Seb," Cole says after a while. There wasn't even a hint of accusation in his voice. I've always assumed he'd be furious when he discovered what really happened to his best friend. "You were only a kid yourself. Dave was the adult. He was responsible for his choices. He knew he wasn't great at riding, but he still chose to go out that night. His death was nobody's fault; it was an unfortunate accident."

Cole's words lighten some of the weight in my chest, but I don't think I'll ever be rid of this guilt and regret that I've carried for more than half of my life.

"So, do you think I'm worthy of life… and love?" I ask after a while.

"Yes, mate," Cole replies without hesitation. "You deserve to be happy."

Maybe he's right… Maybe it's time I let go of the ghost of my past and do the things that really make me happy. Like painting.

"In that case, I'm unofficially resigning from ACE."

Cole blinks at me like I've suddenly grown horns. "What?"

"You can have it all, Cole," I say. "I never wanted any part of it in the first place. Even Dad always commended your abilities. I know he sometimes wished you were his son. And I believe in you too, Cole. I know the company will thrive under your control."

"This is a big decision, Seb. You should think about it."

I shake my head. "I'm going to chase happiness. Actively. Deliberately," I reply, standing up from my place on the couch. "On that note, I need to get ready."

"For?"

"Amelia's receiving her award tonight," I say with a shrug. "I'm going to crawl on my knees and make a fool of myself if that's what it takes to get her back. Life without her is meaningless anyway, so I might as well give this apology thing my best shot."

Cole remains silent, gaping at me as I walk away. In my room, I quickly freshen up, grabbing the first suit in my closet. I dress up quickly, my pulse thrumming with a desperate urgency as I make my way out of the room.

Cole still has the same look of shocked disbelief on his face when I walk back into the living room. It's like he can't quite wrap his head around everything that's happened in the past hour. Well, me neither.

"I'll see you around," I call out to him on my way out.

I'm halfway to the front door when his voice stops me.

"Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"You've gone mad, bro," he says, but his smile is encouraging. Hopeful.

"Yes," I reply with a small snort. "I'm madly in love,"